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English
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Psychologeek top picks, Mah Cabbages
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Published:
2020-01-11
Completed:
2020-01-12
Words:
1,467
Chapters:
2/2
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152
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Junior Detective Li Finds His Purpose

Summary:

Zuko was having a bad day, then an exhausting day, then a great day too. Who would have thought that the ancient Earth Kingdom laws could be so helpful in achieving some petty but very satisfying revenge.

Notes:

I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or the Living-But-In-Hiding-And-NOT-So-Nice Air Nomads, that is MuffinLance's idea, I just ran with it.
The posts, that inspired this:
https://muffinlance.tumblr.com/post/189728539116/perhaps-a-suggestion-for-introducing-airbenders-in,
https://muffinlance.tumblr.com/post/189738140456/i-refuse-to-believe-zuko-couldnt-survive-having

Chapter 1: Junior Detective Li Finds His Purpose

Chapter Text

Zuko was having a bad day. Some would think that Uncle would already be used to attempts on his life, what with him being the Prince of the Fire Nation and brother to Azula. He was fine, really. The stitches were removed, the scar on his neck healing nicely. It was not as if a slit throat would keep him dead. He would have survived anyway just to spite his attacker, but the Dai Li and the Water peasant interfered making his recovery speed up. The Avatar was fortunately not present, not that he cared anymore. Being an Airbender he was as untrustworthy as the Air Nomad whom he helped. Who would have thought that saying „Our survival is in your hands, you must take this secret to the grave” translated to „I don’t trust you to keep our secret, now die!”. Yes, yes, he was dying already from boredom being confined to his room. At least the Dai Li kept visiting him, and he could repay them by serving some tea. One of them, Long Fin, Long Fang, Long Something kept turning up every day, claiming that only his tea would keep him awake all day. So there were people who appreciated his kind of brew, even if Uncle was turning fascinating shades of green and purple tasting it.

Zuko was having a maybe not-so-bad day. He had to take some days off before he could work again, Uncle being as overprotective of him as a turtleduck-hen of her chicks. What could he have done? Naturally, he was scaling the walls and ducking low on the rooftops. If Uncle, the guards, or the Dai Li saw him, he would be in trouble and put to bed again. He was breathing thus healthy, thank you very much! If he can’t work, then they should have given him some scrolls to read, preferably theatre scrolls, not that he cared much for them. He thought in the library would be something on acting, but what he found were scrolls on ancient laws of the Water Tribe. Speaking of laws, had the Earth Kingdom a collection of valid ancient laws too? Maybe this Wan Shi Tong whose name turned up on every scroll would know about them. It could be worth a try. What could happen wrong in a library?

Zuko was having an interesting day. Not only was he lost in a desert, in his backpack were roughly thirty scrolls on the ancient laws of the Earth Kingdom. It was heavy but worth the trip. Wan Shi Tong was a nice owl-snake spirit whose threats were very tame, almost gentle. His anger was fake, naturally, he could notice it immediately. The spirit's playful nature would be his downfall sadly. Maybe he could introduce Azula to him? She was really good at finding creative and dreadful threats. That poor spirit must learn them right away. If he remains so tender-hearted, he would be exploited.

Zuko was having an exhausting day. Scratch that, he was having a migraine-inducing, I-want-to-scream-and-rant-and-then-hide-and-sleep-forever type of day. As Junior Detective Li he has already dealt with a chameleon-poodle in his shirt, with a sobbing cabbage merchant whose wife ran away with the milkman and took the cabbages with her, with a smuggler who wanted to adopt him and introduce him to a life of crime and joy, with two pigmy-pumas rubbing their heads on him and bringing him various rodents and birds and with an attack-happy Air Nomad, whom he lectured six hours straight about hiding his bending better. The idiot kept attacking, tried to bend the air away from him, so he needed to smack him twice then sit on him before he escaped. What if poor Air Nomads were detected because this moron couldn’t control his killing-with-airbending urges? Zuko let the Airbender go when his two partners appeared, but he was angry. That airhead hadn’t suffered enough and he wanted to teach him to think! Maybe the ancient laws would have some solution.

Zuko was having a great day. He issued his fifty-third citation to the idiot Airbender. Who would have known that the ancient laws were so interesting and not to forget, in effect! He penalized the moron for having a braid longer than five inches, for wearing a shirt with yellow trim instead of brown or green, for not having a hat on a Monday, for carrying a basket on the left arm, for blinking twice at the fountain, for not singing the Earth Kingdom anthem at noon, for not buying a cabbage when the merchant offered it to him, for walking with a steady gait instead of shuffling… And he read just five scrolls out of the thirty obtained from Wan Shi Tongs library. Maybe being Junior Detective has some merit.

Chapter 2: Even Murderous Airbenders Can Learn

Summary:

The killing-happy Airbender wanted his story to be heard. He had learned his lesson, truly.

Chapter Text

Shin was feeling calm and collected and not a bit guilty. He did what was best for his family and for his people. He knew the risk when he accepted Junior Detective Li’s help in finding his missing niece. Unfortunately, he had to use airbending to rescue her. After they took her home, he guided the teen to a blind alley, all the way praying that he didn’t catch on his intentions. He made him understand that this secret must be taken to the grave then slit the kid's throat with a well-aimed air blade. He would later notify the Air Nomads about his death and conduct a funeral service for him, but now he had a niece to lecture about the importance of not going with strangers anywhere.

Shin was feeling very annoyed and a little bit guilty. Not only the kid whom he murdered last month was alive and kicking, but he was also angrily talking his ears off. They met on the market, which prompted a surprised Shin to try and bend the air away from his lungs. Junior Detective Li retaliated with a flying kick in his guts and a smack on the chin with the guard's hat, making him dizzy and disoriented. Next, the kid was sitting on his back lecturing him. The first three hours consisted of a menacingly whispered history lesson about the crimes of the Fire Nation against the Air Nomads and what would his family face if they catch wind of their survival. Then half an hour passed with some disturbing show of power, two feral pigmy-pumas coming for pets and giving the teen live viper-rats depositing them all on Shin's head, and a Dai Li agent passing and winking at him. Afterward, Li began a lesson on proper assassination techniques, on the need to make sure the hit is lethal, the victim stays dead, and on the value of not leaving witnesses. In the last hour, he heard at last four hundred pointers on how to hide his origins and his bending better as if he was an amateur! He was saved when the partners of Li arrived. They didn’t arrest him for attempted murder and it seemed the kid had kept their secret, the Air Nomads were safe even with him living.

Shin was feeling true terror cowering under a table. He underestimated Junior Detective Li’s vindictiveness. Yes, the Air Nomads' secret was protected by Li and he wasn’t locked up for attacking him but it didn’t mean he was escaping justice. In the last months, the teen had issued him three hundred fifty-nine citations for breaking the absurd laws of the hated 46th Earth King. He tried to protest but sadly these were all in effect and if Li wanted to enforce them it was his right. And he couldn’t just leave the city, he was one of the few Air Nomads who had a valid passport and could move freely in Ba Sing Se. He wouldn’t abandon his people so he endured. It meant he was punished for not having a five minutes long break between a cough and a sneeze, for not walking backward after sunset, for being single between the ages of twenty-one and fifty, for not having a cat-owl in his backpack on a Wednesday, for tapping his feet hearing music, for frowning at a police officer aka Junior Detective Li, for wearing sandals in the afternoon, for taking more than three sips of water while standing and the list goes and goes on. He rued the day when he tried to kill the kid and he was ready to break down and beg for mercy, please, please, he learned his lesson, he would be an upstanding citizen from now on, he would be anything Li wants him to be, just please, please let him breathe in peace, plea-

„Citizen Shin, did you know that hiding under the table of a restaurant while sobbing uncontrollably without a rabbit-fox sitting on said table is illegal?”