Chapter Text
You pulled your fleece blanket tight around your shoulders as a spring thunderstorm began to intensify outside your window. You wanted to relax and enjoy it, since you loved rainy days more than any other, but your anxiety would rest for nothing and no one.
Your boyfriend Gerard had all but disappeared for the past week, with no calls or indication that he was still a living human. He was a frustratingly difficult person to reach, since he had never owned a cell phone or even an email address. Qualities that you once found odd but charming now made you curse his name.
You wondered if you even had the right to call him your boyfriend yet. Yes, you had been seeing each other for nearly two months now, but you and Gerard had never even kissed. He was strange when it came to physical intimacy,always keeping you at an arm's length, preferring to play the gentleman and taking things painfully slow. You teased him often for being stubbornly old-fashioned.
Not that you hadn't thought about kissing him since the day you met. He was immediately attractive despite his odd appearance- unkempt black hair that framed his alarmingly pale skin, with large hazel-green eyes surrounded by reddish, bruise-like shadows. His delicate features were dressed with a dangerous edge. Somehow, it only complemented his beauty.
The last time you saw him you tried to kiss him. It had been a casual date at your place, spending time together hunkered down on your couch watching black and white horror movies. Halfway through his film of choice, Dracula, Gerard struck up a conversation.
"Do you believe in anything like ghosts or vampires?"
"Like how they are in the movies?" you paused for a moment. "Not quite. But I think it would be foolish to think that we know everything there is to know about this world."
He smiled as if he were somehow relieved by this response. "A very diplomatic answer. And if you were to run into one of these ghouls, would you be scared?"
"Depends on the ghoul," you stated matter-of-factly, "If we're talking Nosferatu, I'm running."
Gerard laughed. "What if it looked like the most beautiful, charming being you'd ever seen?"
"What, like you?" The words fell out of your mouth before you even had a chance to think. The atmosphere in the room changed immediately from lighthearted to deadly serious, romantic tension surrounding you like a thick fog. Your eyes traveled to his lips and you spoke again, no longer stopping yourself from being boldly honest.
"If it were you, I'd want you to bite me."
Gerard's pale face lit up briefly with what looked like desperate hunger.
"Is that so?" he said in a low voice.
It was, you thought to yourself, but you'd settle for a kiss. Instinctively,and nearly breathless, you leaned in towards him. His effect on you was unlike anything you'd ever felt-- How was he so otherworldly?
Your face was mere inches away from Gerard's when he suddenly tensed up. Embarrassment welled up inside you as he quickly turned his face away.
"Everything ok?"
Gerard clenched his jaw and stood up. "I'm... afraid I'm not feeling well, sugar. I better head off."
"Oh." was the only response you could muster, barely able to conceal the sadness in your voice. "Well, I hope you feel better soon."
He merely nodded in your direction before wishing you goodnight and rushing out your front door.
And that was the last you'd seen of Gerard. You tried to force your brain to think of something,--anything else, but you'd fallen so hard for him that it felt like you were under his spell. You resigned yourself to gloominess, wrapping yourself tighter in your protective cocoon.
The storm outside intensified. Rain poured down in heavy sheets so loud that you felt as if you were lost at sea. In the midst of it all, you were shocked to hear what sounded like a quick succession of knocks on your door.
You paused for a moment, wondering what lunatic was out and about in this weather without a lifeboat, when three more knocks rang out with desperation.
"Who is it?" you called out hesitantly as you took a few steps toward your door.
"It's Gerard," a familiar but wearied voice called out, "please, can I come in?"
You rushed to open the door, your hand moving so quickly it fumbled on the lock. What the hell was he doing?
"Gerard!" you exclaimed at the sight of him, soaked through and and breathing heavily as if he'd over-exerted himself. "Come in, I'll grab a towel."
You stood back and let him shamble inside of his own accord, looking thoroughly like a stray dog who was expecting to be kicked.
"Don't worry about it. I doubt you'll want me here for long, anyway."
You closed the door behind him. A whirlwind of anger and sadness seemed to hit you all at once when you finally spoke again.
"So what made you come out of hiding?" your voice wavered as you tried to your best to remain composed.
He turned to face you, and your anger softened to concern as you got a good look at him. He looked weak and exhausted, almost sick. His dark circles were pronounced, as if he hadn't had a night's sleep in the past week he'd been gone.
"I don't blame you for being angry. And after I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I'll understand if you never want to see me again."
You finally grasped from his tone just how serious the situation was. You tried to brace yourself for what he was about to tell you. Was it another girl?
"Gerard, what's going on?" you took a few steps towards him, but he moved backwards, just out of reach as usual.
He sighed deeply, as though resigning himself to an unknown fate. "Do you remember that conversation we had the last time I saw you?"
"While we were watching Dracula?" your confusion was deepening by the second. "What about it?"
He let out a short, sad laugh. "Well, I can't pretend anymore. They are real. I know because I am one. Y/N," he looked at me through strands of damp black hair, his eyes dark and heavy with burdens I couldn't begin to comprehend, "I'm a vampire."
You don't know why you weren't scared when he told you. Some people would gasp or run away, others would probably laugh at the absurdity of it all. Perhaps it was the shock of the news, but you simply paused, trying to wrestle your racing thoughts into a coherent sentence.
"Your hands." was all you had to say about his revelation, turning Gerard into the confused one, his dark brows furrowing.
"What?"
You smiled softly. "Your hands. That's why they were always so cold. You should have told me sooner, I wouldn't have spent so much time trying to warm them up."
Gerard wrung his hands, his eyes frosted with fear as he awaited your inevitable rejection. Your soft spoken words had caught him off guard.
"You're not scared?" his face flashed briefly with hope, before quickly darkening once more to a familiar sadness. "You should be. You ought to be disgusted."
"Never." you whispered.
You saw his hands clench into fists. "I thought I could be something other than a monster. I thought I could have something with you that was beautiful and pure, but I can't. I let you get too far into my heart for your own good."
You didn't know if it was the sight of his distress, or the tangible regret in his voice, but you felt hot tears begin to well up in your eyes.
"Is that such a bad thing?"
Gerard looked for a moment as if he wanted nothing more than to rush over to you and offer his comfort, but he held back.
"It is if you get hurt."
For a moment, there was only heavy silence between you. Gerard began to sway slightly as if loosing coordination, his hand trembling as he reached for the wall to steady himself.
"Are you hurt?" you asked, once again stepping towards him.
"No, don't!" he hissed, causing you to jump at the brief but blinding sight of his bright white fangs. He lowered himself on your couch to prevent himself from falling over, regaining some composure. "I haven't fed for...awhile. I don't know that I trust myself around you. I'll leave just as soon as I'm able."
The memory of your rejected kiss sprung fresh into your mind. Everything was beginning to make sense.
"That's why you left so suddenly the other night," you said softly, "that's why you wouldn't kiss me."
Gerard looked heartbroken. "I wanted nothing more than to kiss you that night, Y/N. And I've spent every night since we met wondering which would be sweeter, your blood or your lips."
You sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "Then you deserve to find out."
"We can't."
"Don't you remember what I said during our last conversation?
"Yes, but--"
"Well I meant it. Gerard, I don't care what you are. I've been with you long enough to know that you're no monster. Besides, I'm not going to let you leave here in the state that you're in. Even if you still believe we shouldn't be together, you need blood."
"What if...what if I go too far?"
You pondered for a moment. "How about I give you a signal to tell you when to stop, like a safe word."
He considered. "If you think that's a good idea...then I'm willing to try it. What should the word be?"
"How about Nosferatu?" you joked, hoping to alleviate some of his apprehension.
He smiled weakly. "Alright, if you're sure. Nosferatu it is."
Gerard moved closer to you, and, still hesitant, brushed the hair from your face. He placed one icy hand on your cheek, causing a wave of goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your eyes locked with his, noticing how he gazed at you, how his eyes glowed softly like embers that needed only the slightest provocation to catch fire once again.
His lips landed gently on yours, causing what felt like a jolt of electricity to course throughout your body. After a moment it was if a switch flipped, and Gerard deepened the kiss. You felt the sharp tips of his fangs brush against your mouth, and yelped in surprise when one accidentally nicked your lower lip.
"I'm so sorry!" Gerard said, pulling back immediately to inspect the damage. A small rivulet of crimson gleamed from the corner of your mouth, and you licked it away before it could drip onto your clothes. You looked back up at Gerard and noticed a different expression cross his face. It was darker, more animalistic, like a wolf that had just spotted a wounded deer. There was no going back now.
"Don't be sorry."
He leaned in and kissed your neck. "You have no idea what you do to me."
You shivered as he nipped at your delicate skin, moaning slightly with each movement of his lips. You felt his fangs rest against your neck momentarily, as if giving you one last chance to change your mind.
"Do it." you breathed, and that was the only encouragement he needed.
Gerard sunk his teeth into your flesh, allowing a warm stream of blood to flow freely. You cried out at the pain, as it was sharper than you had been expecting, causing your eyes to water. Gerard didn't pull back this time. Instead he latched on, fully intoxicated by your taste.
After a few moments the pain subsided, and the warmth of Gerard sucking at your neck felt almost pleasant. You realized then that this was far more intimate than any kiss could ever be, and you began to revel in the feeling, allowing a soft whimper to escape your lips.
Still he drank, and you were helpless, utterly lost in the sensation. Your neck began to tingle and feel numb, which you paid no mind to at first; but it soon traveled down your arms and up through your lips, until your whole body was being pricked with pins and needles. You opened your eyes and realized just how dizzy you were. You were seeing double, your vision slowly fading to black.
Too much, he had drunk too much and you hadn't even realized. You opened your mouth to speak but found that your mouth wouldn't cooperate. It was only after you began to go limp that Gerard seemed to notice anything was wrong, and he finally withdrew his fangs from your neck, grasping your face with his hands.
You were fading fast, but you could distinctly make out the distress in his voice as he called your name. It wasn't enough to prevent you from slipping into unconsciousness as Gerard held you, making the last sound you heard his horrified cries, begging you not to go.