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“Bakugou.”
“Mmh?”
“When we get back, will you make me soba?”
Todoroki sees his boyfriend roll his eyes, but he doesn’t otherwise reject the request.
“Thanks,” Todoroki grins and squeezes Bakugou’s hand.
“Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you make me something for once?”
“I’ve tried, remember? And then you said—”
Bakugou suddenly stops walking, and Todoroki looks back at him in question. He won’t meet his eyes though, his gaze is trained on the ground.
It doesn’t make sense to Todoroki; they’d been walking leisurely, holding hands, happily talking. He can’t find a reason for Bakugou to have frozen like this, and then he picks up on the conversation between two people walking towards them.
“—U.A. student who was kidnapped a few years ago. I heard a rumour it was his fault All Might retired.”
Bakugou tenses up, his grip on Todoroki tightening. Todoroki feels rage very quickly bubble up within him.
“What? Seriously?”
“Yeah. Remember that whole rescue mission and how All Might had to fight that villain? That used up all his remaining strength. If the boy hadn’t gotten himself captured, or at least fought back…”
“Shit. How does he live with that? Knowing it’s on him? I know I wouldn’t be able to.”
“I don’t know, have you seen him? He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to care about anyone but himself.”
“Ha, you’re right with that one, I mean—”
Todoroki has had enough.
He’s going to tell these two people how absolutely wrong they are. To hell with him being ‘undercover’, he wants them to try spout that bullshit to his face, see what happens then.
But just as he steps forward, ready to throw his hood back, Bakugou tugs on him.
He whips his head back around, can’t he see that—
Bakugou’s beautiful crimson eyes glisten with tears, and Todoroki’s heart stops.
“Don’t.”
And the voice that comes from Todoroki’s boyfriend’s mouth is so uncharacteristically quiet and small.
And the way Bakugou’s lips tremble as he bites on them to try and maintain control makes Todoroki forget about anything and everything that isn’t ‘comfort him’.
“Okay,” Todoroki says, gentle and soft. “Let’s go to our spot, yeah?”
Bakugou nods mutely and lets Todoroki lead them to the overlooked space between two small shops, with a brick arch and black metal bars blocking access to a nature strip.
When they’re out of public sight, Bakugou immediately sinks down with his back to the wall and buries his head in his hands.
Todoroki sits on his knees in front of him, and can do nothing but watch as his boyfriend silently cries.
Every ragged intake of breath, every time Bakugou’s body shakes, it feels like a stab to Todoroki’s heart.
It’s not the first time the topic of All Might’s retirement has come up between them.
The first time, Bakugou had knocked on Todoroki’s dorm door at an ungodly hour, eyes already red-rimmed and puffy.
He had thrown himself at Todoroki, clinging onto his shoulders, burying his face into his neck.
Todoroki, still somewhat sleepy but mostly just shocked, brought his arms around Bakugou in an embrace.
“Are you… alright?”
He obviously wasn’t, but Todoroki wasn’t sure what else to do.
Bakugou’s voice had been muffled when he replied, “Had a nightmare.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Bakugou was silent for a moment, and then he pulled back and his hair became illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the slit in Todoroki’s curtains and he looked so heartbreakingly beautiful and then he nodded.
It was a long night.
Todoroki almost struggled to comprehend it all; of the true nature of Midoriya—and All Might’s quirk; of how Bakugou had been one of the only other people to know; of the resulting burden and guilt he carried around in his heart.
Bakugou also told him the real reason behind that fight he had with Midoriya, about the frustration and resentment and self-hatred he felt, about how every time he was hit it hurt so much but he took it and focused on it because he believed he deserved the pain, about not feeling any better after it than he had beforehand.
And after all that, when Bakugou had started crying again, Todoroki just held him.
Just held him and told him that he was strong.
That he had come so far and grown so much since he first started here.
That showing vulnerability or crying didn’t make him any less of a hero; in fact it only proved he had what it took to become one, and to rise to the top.
And finally, that he wouldn’t have to shoulder all this alone; that Todoroki was there for him now; that he would remain for as long as their hearts beat.
“It just never goes away,” Bakugou says now.
He sounds more introspective than anything, Todoroki can’t tell who he’s talking to.
Before he can get in a word though, Bakugou continues, “All this time and… It still gets to me.”
Bakugou lifts his head and gives Todoroki a sad smile.
Todoroki rises up onto his knees, cups his boyfriend’s face, then presses his lips to his forehead.
“You know it might never go away,” he tries as carefully as he can. It’s the hard truth, and he hates the way Bakugou flinches at it, but he needs him to know. “Except—and I’ve told you this before, but I want you to hear it again—that doesn’t make it your fault. It wasn’t.
“All Might was already running out of time, right? Long before that fight with All For One. Even before he transferred the quirk to Midoriya. It was just a matter of time until…
“And he used up the last of his power to defeat a villain. Not to rescue you. Correlation, not causation. You’re getting self-centred again.”
Todoroki takes a risk in cracking a joke, but he’s rewarded when Bakugou offers a weak chuckle.
He goes for a nonchalant shrug when he finishes, “The fight probably would’ve happened regardless of if anyone had been taken; Yaoyorozu planted a tracking device on one of the villains, remember?”
Bakugou nods.
“It’s not your fault. It never was.”
There’s a pause, but Bakugou nods again.
Todoroki sighs.
Just as this may never leave Bakugou, Todoroki knows that no matter the conviction he speaks with, Bakugou may never believe him.
But that’s okay.
They’ll work through it. Together.
Bakugou turns his head into one of Todoroki’s palms and kisses the outer edge.
“I love you.”
Todoroki feels the corners of his mouth quirk up as he says back, “I love you too.”
“Alright, that’s enough sap; hood up, we’re going home.”
Like the flick of a switch.
Todoroki shakes his head but lets Bakugou pull him up. He watches as Bakugou readjusts his beanie, and wonders whether there’s still a storm brewing inside him right now, wonders how much he’s still keeping hidden.
“What’re you staring at?”
“Nothing, just…” Todoroki steps close to Bakugou and kisses him slow and nice, pouring as much emotion as he can into it. It’s all he’s able to do now. He hopes it’s enough.
Bakugou seems visibly relaxed when Todoroki pulls back, but then he scrunches up his expression and says, “Okay, weirdo…”
Todoroki smacks him on the shoulder and Bakugou laughs, linking their fingers together.
They walk back out onto the main pathway and continue heading home.
“You know, you should really be kinder to the person keeping you alive.”
“And how are you doing that, Bakugou-sama?”
“I’m cooking all your meals, for one.”
“You cook me like three meals out of twenty-one. And you should be thanking me, your cooking skills are improving because of me.”
“Three?! I dare you to say that again. I dare you. Just this week I’ve already…”