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4 am.
Maybe this would be early enough.
The sky was clear and cold as Hanzo stepped out of his quarters. His footsteps echoed among the quiet buildings. Not many people were up and about the Watchpoint at this hour. That was a good sign. Finally, hopefully he could get a decent workout in before the other agents stirred.
It’s not that they were unkind. In some cases, the kindness was worse – polite conversation with forced smiles. Hanzo could see the tension coming off those poor saps in waves. It virtually shouted, This the guy almost killed Genji! At least Commander Morrison didn’t try to pretend they were friends. The quiet disapproval he felt from him reminded him too much of Sojiro, so Hanzo tried to distance himself as much as he could. But the worst was Dr. Ziegler. She tried, for Genji’s sake, probably. But Hanzo would sometimes catch a look in her eyes, and he knew. She had seen first hand what he had done to his brother. She had seen the gore he had left behind. That memory was probably seared behind her eyes, like it was his. Hanzo had never been in danger of forgetting what he’d done. If that day ever came, there would be plenty of Overwatch agents to help him remember.
Dark thoughts. Shake them off. Genji and Zenyatta would want him to. He sighed as he pushed open the door to the training facility.
The lights in the hallway were half turned off, but golden light spilled out from the entrance to the gym. Hopefully they had just been left on. If that Lena woman was here for some inexplicable reason, he was not ashamed to turn tail and run. The last thing he needed was an overdose of cheer and chatter.
No sounds of chatter, or of machines being used. But as he got closer, he heard soft music playing. Classical. Was there a maintenance worker in there? He could probably handle that. No small talk, and he could ignore the stares as long as necessary. He turned the corner and stopped short in the doorway.
The music was not coming from a maintenance worker’s cart, but a small speaker connected to a cell phone. They were on the floor next to the mirrored wall, along with a small gym bag and a towel. A woman was poised in the center of the open floor, dancing in slow, precise moves. She was wearing black athletic leggings and a pink tank top. Her skin and hair were blue – literally blue - but that barely registered for him. Because when she moved again, the back of her tank top shifted, revealing a spider tattoo.
Widowmaker. He had heard the name in whispers around the Watchpoint. People probably whispered about him in the same way. Amelie LaCroix, stolen from her husband only to be returned as a Talon sleeper agent. She had killed him, they said. One night she had woken up and stabbed him in his sleep. That old image of a mangled Genji resurfaced, but he forced it back down.
“….headphones if the music is a problem.”
“What?” Hanzo asked, hating how disoriented he sounded.
“I said, I can put in headphones if the music is a problem.” Her voice was velvet-rich and heavily accented. She stood there quietly, awaiting his response. Her golden eyes blinked once, twice. She seemed in no hurry.
“No. No, it is fine,” Hanzo said. “I do not wish to disturb you. I can come back later.” Disappointment settled in his chest. Maybe 3 am would be early enough next time. He turned to go.
“It is alright,” she said. “Please, stay.”
He turned back and looked at her again. There was no fear in her eyes, no judgment. Just stillness.
He nodded and made his way towards the first machine. Impassive, the blue woman with the golden eyes turned back to her phone to restart the music.
Hanzo watched her when his workout allowed him to catch a discreet glimpse. Every so often their eyes would meet in the mirror. She would look away just as quickly, but seemingly not out of embarrasment or annoyance. He wondered about the conditioning Talon had put her through. Was it true she couldn’t feel? He watched her move across the floor with otherworldly grace. It was hard to believe someone who could bring that much beauty in the world would be unable to feel any of it.
Down the hallway, a door slammed. There were footsteps and pleasant conversation. Hanzo began packing up to go. Their peaceful time was coming to an end. It had been nice while it lasted. He looked over at Amelie. She was packing up as well. She met his eyes, and the faintest expression moved across her face. Was that…amusement?
4 am. The perfect time.
Each morning, Hanzo would arrive just as Amelie was warming up. A quick, wordless acknowledgment and then on to their own pursuits. The companionable silence only broken by the sound of Amelie’s music. Her dance routine became familiar to him. He learned the parts that came easy, and those that she struggled with. He silently cheered her on as she improved over time. They stayed until they were interrupted by other agents coming to work out. Once, Hanzo almost got her to smile as he anticipated their arrival almost to the minute.
By the end of the following week, they were taking water breaks together. Hanzo would sit on the exercise floor with her. Their conversations, if any, were usually short exchanges.
“There is something on your mind,” Amelie said, laying back on the floor and stretching.
“It is no matter,” he replied. She arched a brow. He huffed a little in frustration. “Not important.”
She sat up and watched him, cat-like eyes blinking patiently.
“It’s about your rehabilitation,” he said.
“My rehabilitation is unimportant?” she asked, and he saw that tiny flash of almost-amusment again.
“Whether or not I know about it is unimportant,” he said. “It is your business.”
“It is fascinating. You are the closest thing I have to a friend on this whole base, and yet the one most reluctant to ask about it.”
He looked down at his hands. Had he always been this awful at conversation? Probably, at least when it came to personal matters.
“You dance beautifully,” he said, cringing inwardly. In the past, his name and clout had done the talking for him with the few women he pursued socially. Stripped of that, he felt his shortcomings must be plain for her to see. Again, as on the first day, there was no judgment. No disgust. “I thought dance, and other arts, were rooted in emotion. I’ve heard you were conditioned to feel nothing, yet you dance as one who feels deeply.”
She looked away, and for a heartbeat he feared he had offended her.
“It has been a long time since someone reviewed my dancing.” she said. She turned to him again. “As for the conditioning, you are right. This is part of my rehabilitation. Dancing used to bring me such joy. In addition to all the treatments and therapies, Dr. Ziegler advised me to try dancing again. She’s hoping it will help bring more emotion to the surface.”
“Is it working?”
“I think so,” she said. “Oftentimes, it is as if my feelings are there, just underwater. Sometimes a little bit breaks the surface here and there, but I’m still waiting for my whole self to come back.”
“I look forward to that day for you,” he said sincerely.
“You say that now, but if my therapy experiences are any indication, it may be a very ugly day when it comes.”
“Well, as the closest thing you have to a friend on this base, I consider it my duty and honor to be there.”
She nodded, her muscles twitching into an almost smile. The way his heart reacted, she might as well have handed him the moon.
They were assigned to separate missions, scheduled only days apart. With their similar skill sets, it would be a rare occurrence for them to be on the same team. Amelie’s mission took her away a day before his. The gym felt infinitely emptier without her presence. He didn’t even wait for the louder people to arrive before he was gone. When he was away, he thought of her. At 4 am on the day she was supposed to be back at base, he lay awake, picturing her there by herself. He wondered if she had gone at all, or if she did, would she notice his absence as he had hers? He chided himself. Her work had nothing to do with him. No use imagining he was more to her than he was. It was bad enough that she meant so much to him now. Heartbreak was near inevitable.
As the team disembarked from their transport, he found himself looking for her. What did he expect? He chided himself. Ridiculous how excited he had been to return. When had his thoughts started running so wild? As he made his way towards his living quarters, he glanced up at one of the metal walkways above. He was just in time to see the swish of a blue ponytail as its owner walked away from the railing.
4 am felt like way too long to wait.
Finally, Hanzo made his way to the gym. He couldn’t decide how to greet her this morning. Should he say something specific? Or pick up where they left off, as if nothing had happened?
Nothing had happened, he told himself. She went away. He went away. They both came back. This was normal life here. But didn’t feel that way this time.
As he turned into the gym he realized he was smiling. A genuine smile for the dancer with the blue skin and yellow eyes. But then he stopped short.
Because he was alone.
No gym bag, no cell phone. She hadn’t just stepped away. She wasn’t here, probably had not been here at all. He sat down on the nearest machine. What should he do? Was she alright? Should he go looking for her? Stupid question. He knew all the members of her team had returned safely. She was under no obligation to be here each morning. He was foolish to think their time together had been anything but light camaraderie.
He tried to go through his normal workout routine, but he was too distracted. When she was on her mission, he knew she wasn’t there because she couldn’t be. He didn’t want to think why she wouldn’t be here now. Throwing his gear in a locker, he headed back outside. It had been a while since he’d gone climbing. The vigorous exercise had been good for his mind and body when he had needed to get away from people. He hadn’t gone out there since he’d started spending his mornings with Amelie.
The climbing did its job. Hanzo felt his mind clearing as he focused on the rocky terrain. He tamped down the memory of telling Amelie about his climbs during one of their water breaks. He focused on the burning in his muscles instead.
Finally, he hopped up onto a familiar small alcove in the rock face. He used to come here sometimes to think and meditate. Today seemed like a good time to renew that habit.
She was there. Sitting on the ledge, her legs crossed beneath her. Her grappling hook sat off to one side.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I remember you talking about the view from here. I figured I would watch the sunrise. I don’t want to disturb you. I’ll go.” She started to stand.
“It’s alright,” he said. “Please, stay.”
She slowly sat back down. He walked over and settled beside her, feeling more awkward than he had the first day he had encountered her at the gym. They both stared ahead to the darkness and the ocean.
“I missed you at the gym this morning,” he said.
“I’m sorry, Hanzo.”
He stared at her. It was the first time she’d ever said his name. He was not prepared for how hearing his name in her beautiful accent made him feel.
She darted a glance towards him, then looked forward again. “I wanted to be there. In fact – I was looking forward to it.” She looked at him now, waiting for his reaction.
Then it dawned on him. She had been looking forward to something. And that something had been spending time with him.
“Anticipation?” he asked.
“Yes. And then…fear. I did not expect…this,” she took a shaky breath. “I don’t have the words…I’m still so underwater…but there’s something…” She shook her head and looked back out towards the ocean. The sky was lightening ever so slightly.
She was so brave. After everything she had been through, and everything still ahead of her, she was opening up to him. Her words were few, but he understood their significance, and what it must have cost her to say them.
When he reach for her hand, she looked back at him, startled.
“Amelie,” he breathed. Her eyes widened slightly. Speaking her name must have affected her, too.
“I did not expect this, either,” he said. “We both have a long way to go. But I promise you this – I will be there to help you come to the surface. I will not let you drown.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. The most emotion he’d ever seen from her crossed her features. She started leaning towards him, and he quickly moved closer. He put his arms around her as she pressed into his chest. Together, they watched the sunrise.