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The worst thing about being a demigod is that you can't get drunk. Well, you can, if you can get your hands on the ambrosia tainted beer that only the Hermes kids can seem to find, but tonight Nico's on plain old non-affecting alcohol, and that's what makes what he's about to do that much stupider and non-excusable.
He moves further into Percy's space so their hips bump together lightly. He leans in, his mouth just shy of Percy's ear, and says, "I need your help."
"What for?" Percy's eyes scan the room quickly, frowning when no monsters leap out at him. He turns his head to look again but Nico stops him with a hand on his chin. Gods, he uses all three wishes for ambrosia-vodka, if only so he can't remember this in the morning. "Nico, what?"
"I need you to pretend -- just for a second, five minutes max -- that you're my -- you know.”
“Your you know,” Percy repeats, taking a gulp of his beer. “Explain further.”
Nico rolls his eyes, already regretting this. “My sort-of boyfriend. Is that, um, is that okay?"
A grin spreads across Percy's face, which was not the reaction Nico was expecting, but, whatever, he's rolling with it. "Sure, Nico. Of course, babe," he leers, swaying into Nico's space. He can feel a hand curving at his waist and shifts closer. "Who's the ex?"
Nathan is getting closer; his hair is absurdly tall enough that he's easy to keep track of. Nico still isn't sure if he's spotted them or not. He moves his hand to Percy's hip, just in case. "To your right -- no, don't look. Just -- be natural."
"I am so good at being natural, babe."
"You don't need to call me that," Nico says. "He can't actually hear us."
"Just method acting, babe," Percy says, his wink so far over the top it surely can't be seen as anything but theatrical. "Hold my hand, man."
Nico sighs, seeing this whole thing spiral out of control, powerless to do anything but go along with Percy who is smiling at him like he hung the moon. He's very good at this. Almost worryingly good. Like, Nico could almost believe he's not faking this. He links his fingers with Percy's and hopes all he has to do is hold on till it’s over. Nathan will probably never see them.
"Three.. two.. one," Percy mutters.
"Nico! Hi!" Nathan has always been so enthusiastic. In everything. Even break-up conversations. "Nice seeing you here."
"Yeah," he tries. Percy grips his hand tighter which is apparently sign language fr try harder. "Great seeing you too. How have you -- um, how've you been?"
Nathan bobs his head in that annoying half-nod that never indicated yes or no. "Can't complain. So, what have you been up to?” He glances at Percy, looks away, and then back again. Subtlety has never been one of Nathan’s strengths. “Anything new.”
“This is Percy,” he says and leaves it at that, interpretation open to all. The hand that isn’t linked with Percy’s has found its way to Percy’s belt-loops, holding close. “He’s my --”
“Boyfriend,” Percy finishes for him, beaming.
Nathan blinks. “Percy. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Shit. Nico mentioned him once, twice maybe. Or he told him as much as he could without spilling the fact that his dad was Poseidon. He had explained him away as a friend, nothing more, but he probably wasn't as convincing as he hoped.
“You have?” And fuck, Percy looks like Zeus has appeared in front of them and told Percy he can make all his decisions for him for the foreseeable future. Oh, and that he’s sorry for being a jerk over the years. It’s that level of smug. “What have you heard?”
“That you never know when to keep your mouth shut,” Nico says before Nathan can reply. “Babe,” he adds when it comes out too sharp. Percy winks at him again. Nathan looks completely bemused.
“Have you been together long? Nico said about having feelings for someone else and I assumed --” Hey look here’s a group where Percy doesn’t have the biggest mouth. Nico would write it down in his diary if a) he owned one and b) if he didn’t actually want to erase this night from his mind. Instead he takes a subtle swing at Nathan’s shin. “Ow! What was that?”
“Must’ve been a cat,” Percy says solemnly. “They’ve got a big problem in here. You could call it an infestation.”
“Of cats?” Nathan frowns, bending down to rub at his leg. Nico makes sure his foot has found a place between Percy’s, way out of suspicion. “Odd.”
“It’s awful.” Percy’s mouth is a straight line but his eyes are sparkling when he makes eye contact with Nico. “There’s nothing that can be done, though sadly. Cats fear nothing.”
Nathan is eyeing Percy now like he suspects he’s getting the piss taken out of him but he has no proof. Nico smiles at him. “Yeah, well, I should...probably go.”
“It was nice seeing you.”
“You’re a terrible liar,” Percy murmurs as Nathan walks away. Their hands break apart and Nico is good at not feeling sad about it.
“I am a great liar,” Nico argues, nudging Percy to the side so he can sit on the stool that just became vacant beside them.
“Sorry to burst your bubble, Nico, but you suck at it. You have so many tells.”
“What are they then?” He takes a sip of Percy’s beer, grimaces, and hands it back. “Come on. Tell me.”
“You...” Percy thinks for a second. “You always touch your nose.”
“You just lied right there,” Nico laughs.
“Did not.”
“You did.”
“If we weren’t in such a crowded place I would make this drink spill all over you, using only my mind. My brilliant lying mind.”
“Shame we’re in a busy bar, then,” Nico says, leaning back in his seat when Percy takes a step closer, his glass in his hand.
Percy opens his mouth to answer but something catches his eye on the other side of the room.
“What?”
“Your boyfriend’s staring at us.”
“He’s not my -- ugh, want to go somewhere else?” He doesn’t think he can deal with going through all that again. There was a reason he told Nathan there was someone else when they split up -- the guy doesn’t give up.
But when they go to leave Percy leads him over the back corner instead of the door, his hand circling Nico’s wrist. It’s quieter over here, more enclosed, a place for private conversations.
“He’s still watching us,” Nico mutters.
“Probably thinks you’re just using me to make him jealous,” Percy says, nodding his head. “You know what we have to do now, right?”
Nico passes over the jealous comment, tries not to think about the fact that it was actually the other way about half the time. “No, what do we have to do?”
Percy slides a hand around Nico’s waist, pulling him closer against him. They’re tucked away in the corner here, away from everyone. It feels oddly private, the feeling intensified by the way Percy is leaning in close, his mouth at Nico’s ear. “We’re gonna have to kiss.”
Which, woah, this is so far away from what Nico ever planned when the stupid thought ran through his head half an hour ago. He ducks his head so their heads brush together, and hopes it’s not noticeable to an outsider that he’s blushing too much to be normal when he’s with his long-term boyfriend. “Why do you say that?”
“Dude. Don’t you watch TV? We need to prove we’re in love.”
“Okay.” He tries to get it out in a way that conveys exasperation and coolness but his hands flutter nervously at Percy’s shoulders and it gives it all away. This is turning out more damaging to his nerves than that time he raised hundreds of dead skeletons. Any of the times he did that. “Come on, then. Let’s do this.”
“So demanding,” Percy says, huffing a laugh that hits Nico’s cheek, and then he’s closing the gap between them, his mouth on Nico’s before he can blink. He takes a second to try and wrap his head around what's happening but gives up quickly in favour of closing his eyes and leaning in, kissing back before this whole ruse comes to an end.
Percy is enthusiastic at kissing and Nico is very very appreciative of that, a moan falling out of his throat that is so loud it makes Percy smile against his lips and pull him closer. His hand curves at Percy’s neck, where his hair curls slightly at his collar, and he tries desperately to remember that this is all just for Nathan. Fucking Nathan. He doesn’t know whether to thank him or hate him forever for giving him the chance to kiss Percy and then having it ripped away from him again in the near future.
Percy does something with his tongue then and nips at Nico’s bottom lip and fuck, Nico needs to send a fruit basket to Nathan because gods, he’s glad he got a chance at this. He pulls away for a second because demigod or not he needs to catch his breath and when he opens his eyes he catches the way Percy’s mouth is bent into a smile, his eyes dark with lust, and his heart pounds frantically.
“I think he’s gone,” Percy says quietly, his head moving an inch to the right so he can see across the room. His nose brushes Nico’s and the willpower required not to dive back in is phenomenal.
“Who? Oh - right.” Does he move away now? He would but his back is against the wall and Percy’s arm is bracketing his head so there’s no discernible exit. He settles for staying where he is and trying not to stare at the way Percy’s body is pressed against his, both of them still short of breath. “So --”
“We should make sure, though,” Percy says, his hand reaching up to touch Nico’s cheek, his wrist warm where it meets Nico’s chin. “Just in case there’re any more of your exes in the building.”
“Can never be too safe,” Nico agrees.
Percy smiles at him, a smile that says he’s checking that they’re both on the same page, and who is he kidding, Nico has been here since he was eleven and realised that those feelings he had deep in his stomach weren’t strictly hero-related, a few years of dating aside.
“I’m with you, Percy,” he says, hoping that gets everything across.
This time the kiss is slower, deeper, without the thought of long gone boyfriends dancing around the outskirts of their minds. This one’s just for them. Nico falls into it, his head spinning with a happiness he hasn’t felt for too long, knowing he’s balancing too much on this moment but not caring because he’s kissing Percy and Percy is kissing him back. His fingers scrabble at the hem of Percy’s t-shirt, pressing at the warm skin of his stomach, his back. They’re in public, still tucked away in their little alcove but in public nonetheless, but it’s so hard holding back when he’s been wanting this for so long.
“We should get out of here,” he says, breaking away to press a kiss at Percy’s jaw. “Just in case we run into anyone else we know.”
“You’re full of good ideas tonight, Nico,” Percy grins, ducking in to kiss Nico one last time, pressing so their bodies are flush, Nico’s back hard against the wall, before he steps away and links their hands, pulling him through the crowd.
This might all fall apart in the morning, he’s still not entirely sure how far Percy’s feelings run, but at the moment, with the taste of that beer Percy loves clinging to his lips and the warmth of his palm tight with Nico’s, he’s glad he can’t get drunk enough to let this slip out of his brain. He’s glad he gets to remember that his shot in the dark turned out alright.