Chapter Text
“Ymir…”
I stare into the deep blue eyes of the girl in front of me. Her blonde hair falls delicately over her face and reaches just below her shoulders. She stares back earnestly, reaching out to me.
" Ymir.”
Her soft hands touch my face. I instinctively try to pull away, but for some reason I can’t. I can’t move at all. Something is holding me down. It’s hot and wrapped all around me, holding me in place. Her gentle voice continues to call my name, but I can’t find my own voice to reply.
“ Ymir.”
Who are you?
“Ymir.”
Why do you keep saying my name?
“Don’t leave.”
What?
“Come back.”
I can’t move.
“Please.”
I don’t know what to do.
“Ymir.”
I’m sorry.
“Wake up.”
I don’t understand.
“Come back to me.”
I don’t know who you are.
~~~
“Ymir, wake up!!”
My eyes snap open and I groan, rolling over. I’m in the basement still, laying on my parents old ass couch. I don’t think even they know how long we’ve had this thing. I pull myself up slowly, resting on my elbow as I use my other hand to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. Eren is standing in front of me.
“The fuck, Eren? How’d you get in here…” I mumbled.
“We need to talk.” He says, ignoring my question. “Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt were going to come too, but couldn’t. Told me to pass on the message for them.”
I stare at him long and hard, too tired to yell at him for ignoring my question which still seemed rather relevant to our situation. Seriously, how the fuck did this kid get in here?
“Yea okay… whatever… what is it?”
“Bad news or good news first?”
“For fucks sake, Jaeger-“
“Just pick one.” I roll my eyes and sigh.
“…Good news.”
“Your band got scouted, he said the Wall Breakers had the potential to make it big.”
I smile and lay back down, letting out a sigh of relief. “Hell yea…”
“But he said that you won’t make it far until you find a proper lead singer.”
My smile faded and I groaned. “Not so hell yea…”
“If you don’t find one by next month he’ll back out on you.”
I let out another sigh, throwing my arm over my eyes. “You’ve gotta be kidding…”
Eren didn’t move from where he was standing. I closed my eyes, going over my options. How am I going to find a decent lead singer that everyone would get along with in a month? You can’t just pick someone whose good at singing and live a happy fucking life, you gotta at least like that person, and I was a picky person.
Well, not really. I liked a lot of people, it was just getting them to like me that was the problem. I’m a little difficult. I have this disease called “asshole-itus”. There is no cure.
“Make some flyers… we’d better start with some interviews…” I ordered, sitting back up and throwing my legs over the edge of the couch so that my feet touched the floor.
“You want me to do it alone?” I knew Eren was scowling at me, which I would probably do too if someone piled that much work on me, but right now I didn’t care. I needed to think.
“Have Armin help you or something… I’ll come by later.” I stood up, still not looking at Eren and made my way to the bathroom before he could say anything else.
I closed the door behind me and locked it before turning to the mirror. I looked pretty great for someone who had just pulled two all-nighters in a row. Well, almost two. I don’t have that much power over my sleeping schedule yet. It’s kind of a pain.
I turned on the shower, waiting for it to warm up before stripping down and hopping in. It wasn’t until now that I remembered that dream I had. Letting the water run over my body, I stared at the shower wall trying to remember everything about it. I closed my eyes, repainting each scene in my mind and going over everything she told me.
Who was she? How did she know me? Why did she want me to “come back to her”? When did I leave? Hundreds of questions ran through my mind one by one, all remaining unanswered. I had never seen that girl before, and yet I knew her.
“It feels more like a memory than a dream…” I mumbled, opening my eyes and running my hand through my hair. I shouldn’t dwell on it too much though, I’ve got a long month ahead of me. Dreams are just dreams, it probably doesn’t mean anything.
~~~
I took a deep breath, readjusting my clip and smoothing out my jacket before knocking on Eren’s door. I could hear Reiner’s loud voice on the other side of the door, so I guess the others are already here.
Armin opened it and smiled once we made eye contact. I lifted the corners of my mouth slightly as a reply before letting them fall back down to a straight line.
“’Sup.” I said in a cool tone. Armin nodded, stepping to the side and opening the door wider.
“Hi Ymir. Everyone else is already here. We were about to get ready spread around the flyers, but thought we should wait for you.” I nodded and walked in, heading straight for the living room where I heard the voices. Armin closed the door behind me and jogged up to my side, walking into the room with me.
It was a large room with green walls and a wooden floor that was covered by a large carpet. On the far side of the room there was a fireplace and hanging over it was the TV. Directly in front of it was one of those huge ass sofas that came in three pieces. One for one wall, another that you could fit into a corner or some shit, and then another straight piece that was up against the other wall. In front of it was a nice coffee table with the flyers scattered over it in piles.
Annie looked up from the piles to acknowledge my arrival me and nodded. I nodded back, giving a small wave. She didn’t talk much, but she was a fun person. You just had to get used to the seemingly emotionless and cold aura she gave off.
Armin walked over to the couch where Eren was sitting and sat down next to him. Eren had an English textbook in front of him and he was scowling down at it. Armin continued the study session I probably interrupted and I began to walk over to the coffee table where Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt were all sitting.
Reiner was telling Bertholdt one of his stories. He was so into the story that he didn’t even notice that I had come in until Bertholdt looked up and nudged his boyfriend with his shoulder. Reiner stopped mid-sentence and looked up at me. He broke out into a grin and waved me over to sit between him and Annie.
“Well look who finally showed up! Where’ve you been?” Reiner asked as I sat down on the floor. Annie scooted over a bit, giving me enough room to get comfortable. I mumbled a ‘thanks’ before turning to Reiner and propping my elbows on the table.
“I just needed a little while to myself to think. So, what’ve we got?” I asked, gesturing to the flyers. I picked one up, scanning over it.
“We printed 200 copies, all stating that we need a lead singer for our band, the Wall Breakers. Auditions and interviews begin on Saturday at your house from 1 pm to 5 pm.” Bertholdt explained, pointing to several areas on the flyer where I could find the basic information. I read through everything and nodded my head.
“These are fine. But don’t we need a permit to hang up all these or something?” I pointed out, looking at everyone’s faces. Annie spoke up.
“Armin took care of that for us. His dad will be here soon with the permit.”
“Perfect. Everyone start putting the fliers in bags, we’re heading out the moment he gets here.” Everyone agreed and grabbed some shopping bags Eren had laid out for us and carefully packed them with the piles of fliers.
Armin’s dad arrived 10 minutes after we had packed all the flyers into separate bags and handed Armin the permit. We all thanked him and Armin handed it to me.
“If you need anything else, just come back here.” Armin said as we walked out the door. I gave him my thanks and stood in Erens driveway with Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt.
We went over our routes. Reiner had the North part of town, Annie got the East side and Bertholdt got the West side. I had South. Satisfied, we split up and went in our separate directions. We had plans to meet back up at my place to clean up the basement for the interviews.
Time to get to business.
~~~
I marched up and down each street, going into various stores and restaurants and asking them to display my flyers in their windows. So far everyone was nice enough to display them. I had the majority of the South side covered within 2 hours.
I made it to the edges of the South side and turned around, taking a new route on the way back to make sure I got most of the shops. I took out my phone to send out a text to everyone else that I was almost done but I stopped halfway when I noticed a billboard just a few yards in front of me. I put my phone into my back pocket leaving the text unfinished and ran up to it. I pulled out a flyer and stapled it to the board, stepping back and admiring my work.
“I guess that’s it…” I mumbled. I pulled out my phone, finishing the text while I continued to walk back to my house. I hit ‘send’ and put my phone back into my pocket. As I turned to reach for my bag to put back the stapler, I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye. I stopped, turning back towards the billboard. They were standing in front of it, staring at my flyer.
I smiled and straightened my back, straightening my hair and smoothing out my shirt before cooly making my way over. However, halfway there I examined the figure and froze, my breath hitching.
She had a small, delicate frame. Her blonde hair framed her face, her blue eyes scanning over the flyer. Her pink lips mouthed along slightly as she read the flyer, and her soft hands clutched the strap of her bag that hung at her side. She wore a light pink dress that hung just a little below her mid-thigh and a white sweater that exposed her shoulder, its sleeves stopping at her mid arm.
The girl from my dream.
I stared at her, unsure of what to do. She hadn’t noticed me yet, so I could still run if I wanted to, but I also wanted to talk to her if she was interested in the band.
Goddammit me, so what if you saw her in some weird dream you had? She doesn’t need to know that. No one does, because that’s actually kind of creepy. Besides, maybe talking to her will answer some of those questions you had.
It probably wouldn’t, but I can hope.
Once I decided that it was a dumb move to just walk away, I pulled myself from my thoughts and looked up to find an empty sidewalk. I stared at the spot where she was standing, then glanced around. She was gone.
“What the hell?” I groaned, rubbing the back of my head. Whatever, she’ll probably come to the auditions anyways. She seemed pretty interested.
Sighing, I turned back around and began to walk back to my house, a weight on my shoulders.
~~~
I stare at the knife in my hands, the sun rising behind me. I take a deep breath and turn to face the girl standing behind me. She’s coated in a layer of dirt and grime head to toe and her hair is a mess, barely holding on to the hair tie holding it back, and yet her beauty still shines. She’s staring at me, her eyes glistening with confusion and fear.
I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know why she’s looking at me like that, and I have no idea what I’m getting ready to do, but I feel like I should say something. I have no idea what I’m supposed to say, but the words pour from my mouth as though they were on instinct.
“I have no right to tell you how to live your life. So consider it my wish.” I pause to stare back down at the knife, then look back up at her. “Live your life with your head held high.”
“Eh…?”
Before she can say anything else, my legs move on their own and suddenly I’m running to the edge of the tower. Her eyes widen and she lurches forward, holding her hands in the air.
“Ymir!? Wait a second!”
I avoid her attempt to stop me and jump off the ledge. The wind gushes around me and I look down to see what awaits me at the bottom. Once I see them, fear consumes me. Their bloodshot eyes follow me as I fall to their awaiting hands. Their giant mouths are drooling and opening and closing in excitement. I notice a few have blood coating their teeth and pouring from their lips.
And yet, my body doesn’t stop. I glare down at the monsters filled with the desire to annihilate each and every single one of them.
I’ll kill them all, for her.
I bring the knife to my hand, slicing it. Blood pours from the wound and in a burst of hot steam I feel something hot and burning envelop me, tightly gripping me to itself, but it doesn’t hurt. I feel it expanding, taking form, and when I open my eyes again I let out a roar, grabbing one of them by the head and slamming it into the wall. I swing around and hold myself over it and bite deeply into the nape of its neck, ripping out the flesh. Steam rises from the wound and blood pours everywhere only to dissolve in seconds. In minutes, it is nothing but a burning skeleton lying motionless on the ground.
This is my goal.
~~~
I groggily open my eyes and yawn, sitting back up. Annie is laying at my feet, asleep. Next to me Reiner is curled up with Bertholdt, snoring loudly. I groan and move away slowly, so as not to wake up anyone. I’m coated in sweat and I have to wait a moment before standing out of fear of my legs giving up. I’m terrified, but I also feel content.
I pull myself up off the floor. We’re in the basement, an empty box of pizza and cups scattered around us. We were cleaning up the basement and then ended up watching movies and ordering pizza.
Accidental sleepovers are common with us. I’ll have to mention that to our new lead singer.
I trudge up the stairs and turn the corner into the kitchen. I take out some bagels from the pantry and put two into the toaster. While they cook I lay out some butter and jam before moving over to the coffee machine. While I pour water into the pot I hear a grunt from downstairs and heavy footsteps as someone makes their way up the stairs. I look up and see Annie, rubbing her shoulders as she sleepily walks into the kitchen and grabs the cereal from the pantry.
“Coffee?” I ask.
“Please…” She groans and plops onto one of the stools, resting her head on the counter.
“Alrighty.” I say as I grab a second cup from the stack. Annie doesn’t move and continues to lay on my counter, an empty bowl resting next to her head.
The toaster lets out a ding and I walk over to it, grabbing my bagels and putting them onto a plate. I walk back over to the pantry and grab the cheerios, opening the box and setting it down next to Annie, doing the same with the milk.
She lets out a grunt in response and I start to spread some of the butter onto one of the bagels, then jam on the other.
“Bertie and Reiner still sleepin’?” I ask once Annie rises her head and finally starts to make her bowl of cereal. She nods and starts to slowly shove spoonfuls of cereal into her mouth almost mechanically, scowling into the bowl.
Sleepy Annie is the best Annie. Well, for watching anyways.
We sit in silence for a few minutes and I take this time to put away the milk, butter and jam to make sure they’re still cold for Bertholdt and Reiner.
“Bad dream?” Annie mumbled, looking up at me. I pick up one of the bagels and take a bite, shrugging my shoulders.
“Somethin’ like that… How’d you know?”
“You woke me up… you looked really scared.” Images of those monsters below me as I fell flashed through my mind and I just shook my head.
“It was nothing… just a dream.” I say and take another bite. A few minutes pass and I’m already done with one bagel before I notice that Annie hasn’t moved. I look up to find that she’s still staring at me and I groan. She knows something weird is happening, she always does even when I try my best to hide it.
You think the creepy thing about Annie would be her habit of staring at people, or the fact that 98% of the time she shows 0 emotions, or maybe even how she always seems to be planning how to murder you but no, no, it’s the fact that she always knows when something’s up with you. Every single fucking time. And it’s never the things that don’t really matter, she only seems to notice it if it’s something really freaky. And she always knows when it’s freaky.
I sigh, giving in. There’s no point fighting it.
“I saw a girl.”
“A girl…?”
“Yes.” Annie stares at me and I stare back.
“Can I hear more about this girl?” She pushes her bangs away from her face and I know I’m trapped. She only does that when she’s interested.
“I saw her in my dream last night too. The exact same girl. Isn’t that weird? But then yesterday I saw her, like, in real life. She was standing in front of a billboard staring at our flyer and she looked just like the girl in my dreams just less… terrified and confused.”
Annie stares at me for a long time before shrugging and looking down into her cereal, taking a bite.
“Yea… that’s weird. You should talk to her.”
“About what? ‘Hey, I’m Ymir and I have no idea who you are but you’re literally the girl of my dreams’? You know I suck at that shit…” I sigh and go back to the coffee machine, pouring two cups of coffee. Annie takes one giving a small ‘thanks’ before setting it down and looking at me.
“Well if she was looking at our flyer then maybe she likes singing. Start with that.” I grunt and we sit in silence. A long time passes and Annie finishes off her cereal, putting the bowl in the sink. She pauses before turning to face me.
“Do what you want, that’s just my suggestion. I’m going to go wake up the boyfriends.” Annie says, grabbing her coffee and going back downstairs. I sigh and put my head onto the counter.
“The literal girl of my dreams… that’s gonna be a hell of a joke some joke one day.”