Work Text:
It’s a good day, Jihoon thinks. Well, maybe if he repeats that over and over again he’d actually think he was having a good one. A placebo effect, sort of. He lightly sighs as he puts his phone down from his ear, swiveling his chair to look at Seungcheol on his bed.
Seungcheol had his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue poking out as he scribbles on some fancy borders on the paper for his birthday love letter.
“You know,” Jihoon says and Seungcheol surprisingly wasn’t startled, “Hyung’s going to think that’s cheesy. Too cheesy maybe.” Cocking his eyebrow, Jihoon continues staring at the older but Seungcheol grins anyway.
“Aha!” He lifts his left hand up and holds one finger out wiggling it side to side as if to say he’s wrong, “Now that’s where you’re wrong!” Totally.
Seungcheol looks down at the red piece of paper that was folded together in quarters before gently raising it, holding it out for Jihoon. He grins all the way, opening the folds from four to three, two and alas, one. Jihoon snorts.
Jihoon tries not to look too hard and read the pencil trace that takes up probably ⅞ of the paper.
“Love… Seungcheollie.” Jihoon reads slowly and completely ignoring the <3 heart Seungceol doodled after his name. He looks over to the top of the paper and there it says, in the tiniest font, ‘Happy Birthday, Yoon Jeonghan’.
“Wow,” they both face Soonyoung who’s come out of the bathroom, “He’s going to love you even more with that.” Seungcheol brightens up even more hearing someone else say what he actually thinks. Jihoon sends his boyfriend a smile that Seungcheol doesn’t notice as he pays attention to this makeshift card again.
Seungcheol hums, “You think so?” Grin still on his face, he looks up to his best friends and he folds them gently when he sees them nod.
“Aight,” He sits upright, “I’ll be off then. He’s coming home in,” he pauses and lifts his wrist to check his watch, “20 minutes and it’ll take me 10 minutes to walk home from here and ar--”
“Cheol, go.” Jihoon chuckles at the guy before he grins and hugs them real quick. He dashes off and gently closes the door behind him.
Soonyoung looks over at Jihoon and smiles in amusement which Jihoon finds so endearing that he semi lifts himself up from the chair to support himself on the bed reaching to give Soonyoung’s cheek a kiss. As always, the taller blushes smiles bigger and laughs along with the butterflies in his stomach.
“Fuck,” he sighs, pulling Jihoon towards him. Jihoon obediently gets pulled on top of Soonyoung closing his eyes and hums in appreciation as his boyfriend softly runs his fingers through his hair. Jihoon presses his forehead on Soonyoung’s chest while the latter looks down, watching his fingers go through the other man’s hair.
For a while, they indulge themselves in the quiet of the room, the orange of the sunset seeping through the blinds. That is until Jihoon pecks Soonyoung’s lips, slowly and gently getting up from his napping boyfriend. He stares at Soonyoung for a few seconds and there it is, the feeling of the weight in his chest. It’s not weighing him down but it scares him. So much that he exhales deeply in hopes the feeling goes away. Though, it doesn’t. It never does.
He goes back to his chair and brings the headphones back to his ears shaking the feelings off once more.
After a few hours of irritation and messy thoughts, Jihoon feels the same weight on his chest. Although, this one doesn’t give him the same effect as Soonyoung’s smile, touch or anything just Soonyoung. He gulps and looks up watching how compared to 4 hours ago when the sun was bright and orange and he was happy. Now, all he sees is the darkness of the sky but the moon not bright enough to help him find his way back into his work.
“It’s not fucking working, fuck!” He whispers to himself in frustration. Still, his chest feels full and it sucks . His deadline is in a week, he doesn’t want to disappoint his upperclassmen, he wants to impress his mentors, he wants this to be perfect. The weight ultimately winning him over when he lets out a shaky breath.
He cries.
Jihoon drags his fingers through his hair and aggressively runs it on his face, frustrated at himself. He softly sobs, not wanting to disturb his boyfriend who was sleeping soundly behind him. He wants to scream, it’s become too much.
Too busy the whole evening, he doesn’t realise Soonyoung has been awake for an hour going through his phone as he orders food when he lets out a weak whine. Soonyoung’s heart breaks and immediately makes a leap next to Jihoon’s chair. Before the younger can even react, Soonyoung squats in front of him, arms immediately circling Jihoon’s waist. He closes his eyes, unable to hold his tears as he presses his cheek on Jihoon’s stomach. They’re both quiet; well, Soonyoung is. Though, his boyfriend’s sniffs and soft sobs makes him hug him even tighter.
Soonyoung not even telling him it’s going to be okay, just like how Jihoon asked him to way back then. Jihoon knows it’s going to be okay, Soonyoung knows that. Jihoon knows that.
But, “I’m here,” Soonyoung softly says. “I’m here baby, let it out. We have time.” Jihoon knows it’s going to be okay. Soonyoung realised Jihoon didn’t need to be reminded it will be okay, it’s the loneliness that Jihoon’s afraid of.
“Just remember, Hoonie. I’m behind you.” Soonyoung sniffs, hoping his boyfriend doesn’t hear him getting choked up. Alas, Jihoon whines louder and sobs heavier, tightly hugging his boyfriend.
Soonyoung… well how he is, suddenly finds it comical. He takes a deep breath and lets out a soft laugh. He kisses Jihoon’s clothed stomach before slowly standing up, positioning himself n between his boyfriend’s thighs. Jihoon, calming down, wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s waist.
Soonyoung leaves him be, plays with Jihoon’s hair until he can no longer hear any sobs. He gently stops playing with his boyfriend’s short black hair and softly cups Jihoon’s cheeks making him look up. Soonyoung smiles at him. With one hand, he takes Jihoon’s glasses off and places it on the table behind him. Jihoon sighs and places a kiss on Soonyoung’s wrist.
“Look at you, baby,” Soonyoung smiles softly. He wipes Jihoon’s eyes gently with the sleeve of his jumper and then pats his nose, seeing how there was a tiny runny snot in the corner. Jihoon looks like he was going to cry again so Soonyoung laughs brightly.
Jihoon pouts and stands, turning the chair around before kneeling on it. He reaches up one hand on Soonyoung’s nape and the other to cup his cheek. For a moment, he looks at Soonyoung again looking at him like he did when Jihoon threatened Seungkwan and Mingyu when they spilled how he was kind of crushing on Soonyoung.
“What are you looking at me like that for?” Jihoon playfully sounds accusing. Soonyoung giggles and shakes his head, more like snuggling into Jihoon’s hand.
“Nothing.” Soonyoung then grins when Jihoon lets out a toothy smile. He leans in and Jihoon’s lips meet his halfway.
Jihoon can breathe again. Weight completely off his chest as Soonyoung reaches to grab his sides, the chair making it easier for Soonyoung. He places one hand behind Jihoon’s back and another on his waist. Jihoon pecks Soonyoung’s lips, once twice thrice . Soonyoung then slightly open his mouth to get a taste of Jihoon’s tongue. Softly running it against his and Jihoon hums. He pulls away slowly and smiles as he sees Soonyoung chasing his mouth. He pecks him twice.
Soonyoung rolls his eyes playfully, puffing out some air but Jihoon laughs at that and Soonyoung’s alright with that. Always is.
“I’m kinda hungry,” Jihoon mumbles, pushing himself away from Soonyoung to get off the chair. When he does, he sits down on his bed with a sigh.
“I ordered food. Says 2 minutes ‘til they get here.” And Soonyoung notices the amount of time it took to calm Jihoon down. Not that it matters, he’d do it for as long as it takes.
Soonyoung then walks towards Jihoon, immediately in between the younger’s thighs. He leans down again, pecking Jihoon’s forehead so soft that the younger forgets about his worries.
“Did you let it all out?” Soonyoung asks because Jihoon’s okay. Sometimes, Jihoon just needs his release. He nods, standing up. “Thank you,” he whispers before Soonyoung holds his hands in his and Jihoon moves his head to the side to give Soonyoung his soft kisses on a very soft cheek that he loves so much.
With Soonyoung taking care of him like this, Soonyoung having his back and Soonyoung just understanding him in general, that weight dragging him down has nothing on Soonyoung.
“Always here when and when you don’t need me, babe. I love you, Jihoon.” The way Soonyoung says it, always with soft but an obvious conviction that it brings back the weight on his chest again. The weight Soonyoung brings.
So he tiptoes and perfectly fits his lips between Soonyoung’s plump ones. Soonyoung snakes his arms around Jihoon’s waist to bring his closer and Jihoon breathes in through his nose putting every emotion on to the kiss until Soonyoung can feel it, taste it as well while he softly rubs his thumbs on both of Soonyoung’s cheeks.
He pulls away, both in a daze as they open their eyes.
And the longer he stares at Soonyoung, he realises what the weight is, knows what to do with it. It's three words that change lives and Soonyoung has completely changed his for the better. It's heavy on his tongue but he smiles, nonetheless.
“I’ll always need you, I think.”
And that was enough for Soonyoung.