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back when buck wasn't as strong as he was now, steve and him would get beat up a lot. they'd stumble back to bucky's parents' place, sometimes laughing, sometimes in a comfortable silence, and sit in the bathroom, steve at the sink and bucky sitting on the rim of the tub. that's how it always went. something on that day was off. steve could never put a finger on it. bucky went all quiet even when steve tried to crack jokes or strike up a conversation.
"buck? you wanna clean up first?" he asked, tapping the sink basin. bucky shook his head, resting his arms on his knees. steve shrugged, then reached to grab a towel from the high shelves. everyone in the barnes family was tall, he noted dryly. his hand was just short of the stack of rags.
"need help, rogers?" bucky was next to him in an instant, giving him a smug smile as he grabbed a towel off the shelf easily. steve raised his eyebrows at him as he took it from buck's hand.
"coulda reached that without your help."
"yeah, whatever you say." he went back to his perch on the tub. his eyes darkened into the thinking expression that steve found himself seeing more and more often these days. slowly, steve turned on the squeaky faucet and damped the towel in his hands, then walked over to bucky.
"c'mere." he tilted bucky's face towards his own, examining the shiny cut along his cheek and the bruise purpling at his temple. "what's wrong, huh?" he said, dabbing the wet fabric over the wound.
"nothin'." buck said in the mumbly tone he used to hide things from people.
steve looked at bucky incredulously. "tell me."
bucky sighed. "the kids in front of the school." steve remembered them vividly. they were the college age kids always milling around the high school they went to, and today bucky had been practically at their throats, puffing his chest out and everything to stand up to them. it was him who threw the first punch, oddly enough, and him who also got kicked to the ground by the rest of the group.
"what about them?"
"they called you something nasty, y'know?"
"me?" steve sighed. "don't get into fights about me, you know i can handle myself."
"you'd do the same for me."
steve hummed. he had no argument for that. "what'd they call me?"
bucky shook his head. he ran a hand through his hair, speckled with dirt and stray pebbles. "called you a- a fag. called me your boyfriend." he said quietly.
"you know that doesn't mean anything." said steve. he stood up, grabbed a pack of bandages. pasting one onto bucky's cheek, he admired his (albeit messy) handiwork. he took the time to admire bucky in general.
"doesn't it mean something, though?" bucky glanced up at him.
"why would it?"
"'cause why would we wanna be seen like that?"
steve felt a prick of annoyance through his chest. "what's wrong with that?" he leaned against the sink, eyebrows high on his face.
"nothing, but it's not like we're, y'know, together." bucky's expression turned into one of mild guilt. "gotta reputation to uphold. i'm a ladies' man, after all." he cleared his throat. "i dunno about you-"
"and what does that mean?" steve snapped.
"i- steve-"
"y'know why i don't care that the kids outside the school are calling me a fag?" he took a breath. "it's cause it's true, okay? i'm a- i'm a queer, or whatever you say." bucky stared at him with wide eyes. the eyelashes that framed his face were too pretty for their own good.
"stevie," he said, using the nickname he used for steve when they were both kids. "c'mere. let's get you cleaned up."