Chapter Text
Harry was not ready for his first day of law school.
Growing up, his aunt and uncle always said nothing would come of him, and as much as he wanted to prove them wrong, after 18 years of hearing them belittle him every day, a part of him believed it too.
Remus told him how proud he was of him, and Harry could see he really meant it. Since Sirius died, Remus found a job as a history teacher. The students loved him, but just like Harry's years at the Dursleys had convinced him he was worthless, such did Remus' years of unemployment convince him that he truly was a dangerous and disgusting abomination. But Remus told him things are different now, progress happens slowly and some good people are trying to fight the stigma against people living with HIV. And one of these good people could get him a job. At a school, no less. Harry knew remus could be so much more than a middle school history teacher if he was only given the chance but like remus told him people like remus don't get many chances. He had to take the job when Dora got pregnant because even though teddy wasn't biologically his, he was his child and he had to support them while Dora was on maternity leave.
Remus told him his parents would have been proud of him too, which he tried to believe, but his parents were such a distant, far concept by now. He would always remember them by the nasty burn scar he has on his forehead, from the car crash they died in. Aunt Petunia always told the story of how his mom could see the car at the last second and wrapped herself around him to soften his blow. It worked. His mom died and he only got a burned disfigured forehead. And aunt Petunia never seemed to forgive him for that, even though he was only two years old when it happened, and obviously couldn't do anything differently. He was left with Petunia and her husband when his parents died, but luckily Remus and Sirius could get partial custody over him and he could see them every month, and sometimes for entire weeks when his aunt and uncle went on holiday. As far as he was concerned Remus and Sirius were his real parents. At least, until Sirius died when Harry was only fifteen. He had known Sirius was in trouble with the law, that was a part of why they couldn't get full custody of Harry even when he was old enough to testify in court that he wanted to live with them full time. Being gay was crime enough for the court but Sirius also spent a year in prison for possession and with remus being positive that was pretty much a sealed deal. Remus said they were lucky they even got to see him at all. But when Harry was fifteen Sirius got shot by a cop while selling a stolen motorcycle. That was the first time Harry felt what it was like to want to set the world on fire. "But that cop is gonna get fired, right? He's gonna go to prison, right, I mean, he has to, Sirius wasn't armed, he wasn't even a threat" he shouted into the vast dining room at 12 Grimmauld place. And Remus said "he was arab and committing a crime. He had a criminal record. I'm sorry Harry but justice isn't always served." And Harry could only flip the dining table with all of the plates and food still on it, and run up to his room, which he knew used to be Sirius' room when he was a kid, and cry just like Remus did when he flipped the table. Sirius' family kicked him out when he came out but still left him their house. They were all dead before Harry was born, even Sirius' brother who had died fighting for the army.
Remus was still grieving when he started dating Dora. Maybe he'll always be grieving. But harry could see Dora made Remus happier than he could ever be by himself, so as hard as it was to accept that Sirius really is gone, Harry didn't give either of them a hard time about it. He liked Dora, and when Teddy was born he couldn't have been happier to be an older brother, of some kind.
Harry only wanted Remus to say Sirius would have been proud of him, and he did. Harry knew it was true, but he still started crying because he wished Sirius would have been there to tell him that himself. He wished Sirius could see him starting law school, tell him he's a stud when he sees him hopelessly combing his hair to try to cover his burn scar and give him a ride to school on his motorbike. Sirius taught him everything he knows about being a man. Remus always had kind words and burning truths and painful realities and logic, and time, and consequences. But Sirius had brown eyes that sparked with mischief and a crooked smile that always let Harry know everything was alright, he stood up for Harry through thick and thin and although he stopped Harry from punching a kid who said "who's that tosser on the bike?" When he came to pick Harry up from school, when Harry said he broke his cousin Dudley's nose for calling him a poofer Sirius said well done and gave him a high five.
Harry couldn't be ready to start law school. Not without Sirius. But here he was doing it anyway.