Work Text:
"So, all joking aside," Joe said, sipping on his coffee. "Do you really have a thing for Crane?"
Abbie nearly spit out her own coffee as she choked. She coughed and patted her chest as she tried to shake free a few stray drops of coffee. She swallowed hard and looked at Joe. They were both leaned casually against the wall in the customer service department, having their morning cup. "Excuse me?"
"Jenny said there was this new guy at work that you have the hots for," Joe said. "Crane's the only new guy you spend a lot of time with. So I figured it was him. Also, you spend a lot of time chatting with him here at the office. Everyone's kinda noticed. Hell, Susan in accounting complained that you two were acting too friendly. When I asked her what you two were doing she said you weren't doing anything specific, it was just the…" he waved his had vaguely. "Energy you two put off."
"Did you tell her to mind her own damn business," Abbie asked with a wry smirk.
"I told her that unless y'all were doing something, I couldn't exactly write you up for just talking to each other," Joe chuckled.
As if summoned, Crane entered the office and made a beeline for the break room. It was his morning routine; come in half an hour early to get everything in place and ready for his day. He was a very routine oriented person, Abbie had observed. If they were on a delivery, he started freaking out if they were a minute off schedule. To which she would have to distract him. Not that she minded. He was a sweetheart, to be honest.
He opened his briefcase, pulled out his insulated mug, and set to making his morning cup of coffee. Three level spoonfuls of sugar, two regular creamer cups and one Hershey's chocolate creamer cup… stirred anti-clockwise twice and clockwise five times.
"He's a creature of habit," Abbie said. "He's neurotic about it at times."
"That doesn't answer my question," Joe pointed out. "I mean, there's nothing wrong if you do. It's just… you're you. And he's…" the lid of Crane's coffee popped off as he took a sip, dribbling on his shirt before he could catch it. The cup tumbled from his hands and he made a mad grab to catch it but only succeeded in making a bigger mess on the floor. "Like that."
Abbie laughed. "I'll admit it. He's adorable. He's sweet. And he's also kinda cute."
"But?"
Abbie cocked a brow. "But? There's no 'but'. That's all I've said to Jenny." She slipped her coffee, shaking her head as Crane apologized profusely to the janitor and tried to free her of the mop to clean up his mess himself, only to have a maternal finger wagged at him and to be shooed away. Instead he returned to try his hand at making his coffee again.
But not before trying to wipe at the coffee stains on his shirt. Which, of course, only made it worse. Joe snorted and shook his head. "That boy ain't right," he joked.
Crane waited until the janitor left the breakroom to shuffle to where he thought he was out of sight. He opened his briefcase case and pulled out a spare shirt, tidily stored in a large ziplock bag.
It was still twenty minutes or so until people would start arrive by to start their days. So naturally absolutely no one would see him strip off his waistcoat, tie, and unbutton down. Obviously, since he had spilt coffee on his shirt that meant he had to change just about everything above the waist. Regretfully, he was wearing an undershirt so Abbie was spared seeing his naked back.
Joe shared a look with Abbie. "You know what, I think I get it now."
"What do you mean?" Abbie asked, her eyes on the smooth muscle on display. Even through the undershirt she could still admire the gentle movements underneath the thin cotton as Ichabod put on his clean shirt and made himself presentable once again.
Joe nudged her with his elbow. "You're always going on about wanting a partner that can effortlessly sweep you into their arms…"
"This line of conversation is making me feel harassed and uncomfortable," Abbie scoffed.
"Who are you going to report me to? Me?" Joe laughed. "Or to the feds?"
"I'll report your ass to the highest authority," Abbie lightly threatened. "Jenny…"
Joe gasped and put a hand on his chest. "You wouldn't."
"Try me, bitch." Abbie laughed heartily when Joe gave her a playful shove.
A sudden crash from the breakroom drew their attention. Crane had dropped the entire coffee pot and was clutching his chest, eyes wide with surprise. He took a moment to catch his breath before looking at them. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough," Joe commented, slipping his coffee. "I better get to my office. Crane, be sure to have your shirt tucked in properly before Pandora gets here. You know she'll flip her shit."
Crane nodded and hurried to the men's room. Joe shared one last glance with Abbie. "How the hell did he miss out that we were standing right here? He literally walked right past us."
Abbie shook. "That's above my pay grade," she said. "I better go check in, Irving will be in soon."
"Lucky you, I'm going to be playing that match game while pretending to do something important for eight hours," Joe sighed. "I honestly can't wait to get cleared to go back in the field. This desk job crap is bullshit."
Abbie trailed a finger down her cheek. "Aww look, I'm crying for you," she said, pushing away from the wall. "Honestly. You poor baby."
"Urgh," Joe scoffed. "I can feel the love in the room…" He pointed across the office. "It's over there."
Abbie tilted her head and grinned before disappearing around the corner, just in time to run smack into Crane as he was coming out of the bathroom. It wouldn't have been so bad if the last bit of Abbie's coffee splashed all over his shirt. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry," Abbie blurted, immediately looking around for something to right her wrong.
Crane just closed his eyes and sighed patiently. "Fortunately, I have a back up to my back up in my desk drawer," Crane said gently.
"I'm still sorry," Abbie apologized again.
He looked down at her with a gentle smile. "Consider it justice for your ruined blouse from last week," he said.
Abbie shook her head, unable to keep a smile off her face. This was something she found herself doing more and more as of late; smiling that is. Specifically when talking to Crane. "That's all part of the job," she assured. "Besides, the stains came out with just a little baking soda and dish liquid."
"I'll make absolute certain to have better aim next time," Crane said.
"I do prefer it going in my mouth instead of all over my blouse," Abbie commented with a little nod.
They looked towards the end of the corridor when they heard a throat being cleared. "Please tell me you're referring to something work appropriate," Joe said flatly.
"It was garlic pasta sauce you nosy shitbag," Abbie groused, then laughed. She looked up at Crane. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He blinked down at her. "You're not accompanying me today?"
Abbie shook her head. "You get Irving today. I had to cover for our night shift guy last night." She patted his chest. "Like I said… sorry."
She gave no further thought of it until later--and by no further thought, it meant she would adamantly deny thinking about Ichabod at all after work. Later was when she started receiving texts from Irving:
This man is pouting.
A grown ass man pouting.
And he won't tell me why he's hiding a coffee stain on his shirt.
He is being a whole entire child.
Abbie snorted lightly and replied, I told you he would pout but noooo you just REFUSED to work the night shift.
She hit send as she cackled, then pulled her blankets over her head to get as much sleep as she could before morning.