Chapter Text
Hobi POV:
Everything had been normal in the dorm, or so he thought as Hobi and his fellow members hopped in the van on the way to another interview.
Hobi was about to sit himself next to Jimin when he was stopped.
"Can you sit behind me today Hobi Hyung, I want to chat with Tae. Please!"
Jimin had begged.
Hobi didn't think too much of it and moved to the seat behind him as Tae climbed in beside Jimin.
He sat behind watching as they whispered to each other, occasionally stealing glances back at him.
Hobi felt weird "are they talking about me?" He thought but pushed it from his mind.
That was only the first weird occurrence. The second happened when he tried to hang out with Jin in the kitchen.
"Hobi-ssi can you leave me alone I'm trying to cook" the elder said pulling Hobi off of his back.
"Ah sorry Jin Hyung" I won't bother you.
Hobi wasn't sure why Jin didn't want him around but it was Jin so he ignored the feeling that had been creeping into his chest.
He decided to go and see if Yoongi needed any help. He walked to the familiar studio door and rung the bell.
No answer so he rung again.. still no answer
"Maybe he's not in here" he thought before turning to leave. Before he got to the end of the hallway though he heard the sound of the studios door click open and spotted Namjoon slipping out.
"Oh Namjoon-ssi I thought no one was in there, I rang the buzzer but no one answered" Hobi said as Namjoon approached.
Namjoon looked away from him
"Uh yeah sorry, we were just working on some stuff sorry Hyung"
"Can I help with it?" Hobi asked energetically but Namjoon brushed him off fast
"Nah it's okay Hyung we got it" and walked off.
Hobis chest hurt again. What was happening they never denied his assistance when working on songs.
After being denied twice yesterday Hobi decided to spend the morning at the dance studio, it always cheered him up.
He opened the door to the studio and found Jungkook inside.
"Oh hey Kookie, you doing some practice?"
Hobi asked as he put his bag down to the side.
Jungkook looked towards Hobi as he quickly turned off the song he was practicing
"Mmhmm"
"Do you wanna go over the steps together?" Hobi asked as he stretched his arms above his head.
"Nah Jimins gonna come practice with me later, thanks anyway hyung"
Jungkook went and started packing away his things.
"Oh" was all Hobi could say as he watched Jungkook leave. Now standing in the empty practice room alone.
He didn't want to think about the uneasy feeling he had building up inside him and so put on some music and danced hard to let off some steam.
That afternoon when he came back to the dorm he found Tae lying upside down off the lounge playing something.
"Hey hyung" Tae said looking up at him as Hobi slid out of his shoes and walked towards him.
"Hey Tae, watcha playing?"
He leaned against the back of the lounge looking at the screen.
"Oh it's a game called pubG, you wouldn't like it Hyung"
He said looking back at the screen.
Hobi stood for a moment watching before Tae spoke up
"Did you need something from me Hyung? You don't have to stand around here"
Hobi looked down at Tae with confusion in his eyes
"Ah no, no I just was watching. I'll be in my room"
Hobi walked up to his shared room with Jimin and slunk inside. He threw his bag to one side before jumping onto his bed and buried his face into his pillow with a sigh.
Why is everyone so weird around me? He thought when the door to the room opened and he saw Jimin came in.
"Oh hey Jiminie what's up?" He said as he turned to rest on his elbows observing the pink haired boy cross the room.
"Mm nothing Hyung just grabbing something, I'll see you later" Jimin picked up a bag from under his bed and then left again.
The next few weeks continued like this. The members seemed distant and often Hobi would walk into what seemed to be private conversations that would be cut short the moment he arrived.
It was odd and it was hurting him but he hadn't put much thought into it until he had over heard Jimin talking to Namjoon
"I think I want to change the room" he heard Jimin tell Namjoon, his heart hurt.. Why did Jimin not want to share rooms with him anymore.
Hobi left before hearing anymore of the conversation. He just walked and walked till he found himself in a dark storage room. He sat in a corner and before he knew it tears were streaming down his face. He pulled his legs up against his chest and layed his head on his knees as sobs racked his body.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been crying when he'd finally calmed down, hiccuping slightly. He had a raging headache and his eyes burned from crying so much.
He let his breathing calm before finding a bathroom. He looked at himself In the mirror, his eyes were puffy and red from crying. Hobi turned on the tap and splashed some cool water onto his face to try and calm his eyes.
When Hobi finally came into the dance studio he had found the group huddled in a circle whispering.. were they going to ask him to leave the room now?
They turned towards him when he entered before quickly dispersing.
The rest of the week he was on edge waiting for them to ask about the room change but it never came.
It was around this time that he had started to receive a lot of hate online. "He looks like a horse" "his voice is so annoying" "he can't even dance that good" "they would be better off without him" were just some of the comments he received. He never told the members, he wasn't sure they would even care with how distant they were lately.
It was affecting him though, he caught himself staring in the mirror for long periods of time wondering if he really looked like a horse, he'd stopped eating after Jungkook had made the comparison during a fan meeting thinking back to all the comments he'd seen about this.
If Jungkook thinks it then it must be true right?
He'd stopped answering questions as much during interviews or events after Yoongi complained his voice was too whiny.
He thought to all the comments that claimed his voice was annoying. Soon he barely spoke at all. Even at the dorm he spoke as little as he had to.
He no longer enjoyed dancing every time he tried to practice he felt worthless "He can't even dance that well" the comment kept racing through his mind.
It got worse when Jin had said something to him
"How am I supposed to learn the steps when you won't even do it properly" Hobi was taken back by Jin's comment. He apologized multiple times but just couldn't put any effort into dancing and so left the studio.
Hobis mind was a mess, "if all these things are true then would they really be better off without me?" The thought plagued him. And soon he was suffering from nightmares. It started out with Army's booing him off the stage, telling him he was worthless.
Then it was his members telling him all the things he was fearing. How they no longer wanted him in their group, how they could be so much better without him.
He woke up crying every night for a week before he just refused to sleep, too scared to see what his mind would show him next.
It had been a little over a month since he heard Jimin make the comment about changing rooms and by now, he wasn't eating, wasn't talking, wouldn't sleep and only danced when he had to.
It was during one of the fan meetings when the young girl was interlacing her hands with his when he heard her ask "Hobi Oppa, why do you look so sad?" He stared at her with wide eyes and could feel the ache is his chest, he felt his eyes grow warm as he fought with himself to hold back tears.
"What do you mean, I'm very happy" he shot her the brightest smile he could, but it felt so unnatural and he prayed that she couldn't notice it.
Hobi felt eyes on him, the members were watching the whole thing and suddenly he felt small.
He sat withdrawn for the rest of the fan meeting and ran off as soon as it ended.
His stomach hurt from the lack of food and he felt weak, he couldn't remember the last time he actually slept. And he meant more than the times he'd dozed off by accident quickly waking with a startle whenever a member woke him.
He sat at the back of the van leaning against the window when he began to doze off, before he was out he heard one of them say "should we just tell him?"
His body shook violently as he began packing a bag as soon as they had come back to the dorm. He walked out into the living room and stared at what he thought were his closest friends, the rest of his members were sitting when Jimin stood up to say something to him. He waved him off
"Don't bother, I'm going to stay somewhere else for a while" and with that he left.