Work Text:
Starship Enterprise, Alpha Shift
"Mister Sulu how are we looking?" Jim spun around in his chair doing a complete three sixty before slamming his feet on the ground halting his chair, causing his coffee to almost go everywhere.
Behave, James. Spock admonished through their shared bond.
What? It's fun Spock. Live a little. Jim rolls his eyes visibly and Spock lets out an internal sigh that Jim feels.
I live enough when you come back to the ship either seriously injured or dying. It is wondrous that I do not have any grey hairs yet because of you.
Don't Vulcans age slower than humans?
Precisely my point, ashaya.
Shut it, Pointy. Jim blew the mental equivalent of a raspberry towards his mate before turning his attention back to Sulu.
"Sorry Hiki, I was lost in thought. Can you repeat that?" Sulu rolls his eyes in annoyance before speaking.
"As I was saying, we're around two hours to New Vulcan and the Discovery is around thirty minutes behind us."
"Perfect Mister Sulu. Spock what's the weather like near your parent's house?" Jim resisted the urge to spin his chair around again super fast but kept his composure. A captain must know when to joke around and to be professional. Although, every single member of his crew would call bullshit because he has literally given out dildos to every crew-member not currently in a relationship as a Christmas gift. Let's just say all of the admiralty besides Chris and the ones who can actually take a fucking joke (which is less than ten percent) were not amused.
"Sarek please," Jim hears Amanda moan across the familial bond shared with the entire Surak clan. He feels wandering hands that are almost, almost like Spock's but older slide down his sides before felling a phantom gripping on his hips as one hand starts to trail lower and holy shit he's feeling Amanda and Sarek having sex?
Well, that's a new one for the bucket list then.
Jim slowly turns to see Spock turn absolutely green and starts to shake while looking like he either might die from embarrassment or vomit from felling his father's hands up and down his body in a way Spock probably never wants to again.
Jim decides that now is the best time to fall out of his chair and onto the floor laughing his ass off to the bewilderment of the rest of the bridge crew. Spock decides to very silently but dramatically, like always, flee the sight of the crime for the ready room on the opposite end of the bridge.
"Uh, Len? We've got a super fucking weird situation on the bridge right now." Sulu comms the medbay because honestly no one but Jim knows what the actual fuck is going on right now.
"What's the problem Hiki?" Sulu turns to see Jim still on the floor and he's actually starting to get concerned about the bastard.
"Well, he's been on the floor for the past five minutes wheezing, and his face has turned red."
"God fucking dammit, I'm on my way, keep an eye on him. McCoy out."
"Maybe he's remembered an inside joke or something?" Chekov tries to supply but Sulu just kissed Pasha's hand in an attempt to be thankful for Pasha's input however, none of the crew knew what was actually happening in Jim's head. Thankfully, the only person besides Spock that could possibly figure out what was going on had arrived, muttering curse words coming out of the turbolift and armed to the gills with hypos.
Sulu sometimes honestly doesn't know how Jim hasn't gotten himself killed by his own stupidity.
******************************************************
Spock grabbed his personal PADD to communicate with his siblings, to see if they had experienced the same disturbing things he had not minutes before. Fortunately, both Michael and Sybok had logged onto the private chatroom they used frequently when they had spare time.
godisreal: sweet fucking surak please tell me i wasn't the only one who experienced whatever the fuck that was
thenormalone: no Sy you were not, thank the stars I was in my quarters alone packing, otherwise my friends would have heard me yelp from across the ship
godisreal: if it was fucking spock again, i'm killing him
downthehole: Thankfully, it was not me, however I am fairly certain that the culprit behind this was our father
thenormalone: WHAT
godisreal: EW GROSS
thenormalone: at least we didn't walk in on them like Spock did when he was seven
downthehole: MICHAEL WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT
godisreal: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
blueeyes: WAIT WHAT
thenormalone: JIM STOP HACKING INTO OUR CHAT SERVER JESUS
blueeyes: hey Spockums left me alone with Bones who stuck me with five hypos because he thought I was having an asthma attack because I was wheezing on the bridge I get a free pass
godisreal has changed downthehole's name to spockums
spockums: Sybok, stop we see our parents in four hours, we must remain calm
godisreal: i'm asking sex related questions at dinner though
thenormalone: same
spockums: NO
thenormalone: calm down knothead I'm only asking Father how his control broke when it hasn't before
godisreal: maybe it's because he had a massive orgasm
spockums: SYBOK
blueeyes: I'm staying this is hilarious
Spockums has kicked out blueeyes from the group
thenormalone: you know he's just gonna hack back in right?
spockums: Yes, however it gives us time to formulate a plan
************************************************************
"Spock did you pack my sunscreen?" Jim yelled from their bathroom as he was brushing his teeth.
"Yes k'diwa."
"Oh! and my prenatal vitamins?"
"Yes ashal-veh." Spock shakes his head at Jim swaying his hips while walking over to embrace him.
Jim pops up onto his toes to wrap his hands around his mate's neck and give him a peck on the cheek.
"You're the best mate ever, y'know that?" Jim hums, snuggling closer into Spock's arms and chest for warmth and the smell of their shared scents.
"I would refute your claim however, I do not want to get in an argument with you." Jim chuckles and feels Spock smile in his hair.
"Good Alpha,"
*************************************************
Two hours later...
"Spock it'll be fine, they probably don't even know what happened," Jim said softly to prevent Sarek from hearing him while walking up the walkway to their house on New Vulcan, it wasn't Spock's childhood home which Jim had always wanted to see, but from the memories Spock shared with him, however this new house came pretty close.
"Are Michael and Sybok already inside?" Jim asks, stopping Spock before entering the house.
"Yes I believe so,"
"Good, then I can do this-" Jim pulled Spock down to his height for a downright filthy kiss on the front porch of his parent's home. It would've gone further had Sybok and Michael not fake gagged out of one of the upstairs windows.
"We've already felt one fucking show we don't need to see another!"
"Shut up Sybok!" Jim yelled back before flipping both siblings the bird and walking into the house with his mate.
"Children! Dinner!" Amanda called from the dining room where she was pouring freshly made plomeek soup into bowls. Michael and Sybok ran down the stairs like five year olds (And people suspect Spock to be the youngest? Honestly Jim doesn't know how Amanda dealt with three children, all alphas going through puberty in the span of five years. It's another reason why Jim thinks that Amanda should be made Queen of the Galaxy)
"Oh thank Surak, I get to eat actual food, not the fake bullshit on the ship." Michael moans swallowing down her soup like it was her life source when Sarek came into the room.
"Michael, language. Jim, Spock, how was the journey to New Vulcan?" Sarek asks while sipping his soup.
No.
But Spooock-
No.
"It was uneventful," Spock answers before looking at his siblings and mate trying to stifle their laughter behind their spoons.
"How was your afternoon father?" Michael asks which earns her a glare from Spock across the lavishly decorated table.
"It was well, thank you. I took a small reprieve from my work to spend some time with your mother."
"Was it eventful?" Sybok asks way to quickly for Sarek to not take notice.
"What was my son?" Sybok rolled his eyes before continuing.
"Your time with Mandy?" Amanda let out a gasp as she dropped her spoon in shock.
"Sarek were you projecting?" Sarek looked to his wife with a raised eyebrow.
"No I do not believe so-"
"Yes you did." All three siblings along with Jim interjected which made Amanda laugh and dab at her eyes with a napkin.
"How did this happen?" Spock asked looking towards his father when his mother decided to make a small hole with one hand and only her pointer finger up on the other.
"Well, sweetie, when mommy and daddy love each other very much they-"
"Mother!" Spock yells causing Michael and Sybok to fall out of their chairs in laughter whereas Sarek looks downright horrified.
"Are your slow hands really that magical?" Sybok yells from the floor causing Sarek to get up and as frantically for a Vulcan leave the room for some peace and quiet.
"Oh dear, T'Pau will probably call you at some point tonight," The rest of the family can hear Sarek's audible groan and stomping up the stairs towards his study, which causes Michael and Sybok to laugh more and Spock puts his face in his hands at the sheer big ball of chaotic energy that is his family. Spock sometimes wonders if he was kidnapped by his siblings from another family so that they could have a little brother to tease. He honestly wouldn't put it past them to do that even now.
"Jim?" Amanda turns towards the casually dressed in maternity wear Starfleet captain, putting her hand on one of his. "Would you like some tea? And let the Vulcans handle their business?"
Jim smiled up at the kind woman, now would be a good time to make his exit, simply because Spock wasn't going to talk about this incident anytime soon.
"I would love to, lead the way." God, Jim really loves this family.