Chapter Text
“We’re not playing David Bowie!”
Jens whined, staring intently at Sander, who was already scrolling through the playlist of his favorite artist.
“You don’t have any say in this, bro. His car, his rules, his playlist.” Robbe turned around in the passenger’s seat with a huge grin on his face. “Just be happy that he wanted to do this.”
“Like he wouldn’t do anything for you if you asked him to. He’d probably spray an even bigger graffiti mural on the frikking cathedral, if you pouted long enough.” Moyo joked. He was sitting right next to Aaron, who was already fast asleep. Jens hated the backseat. It felt too crammed, especially with the sleepy friend drooling on his shoulder.
This road trip wasn’t his idea. But he needed some fun time with his friends. Relaxing. No thinking. Because everything was too complicated these days. He desperately needed to get away.
“You know, Jens, you’re just jealous I got this from my parents for succeeding my first college year. I bet you didn’t expect to be picked up in a brand new car, did you?” Sander replied with unnerving enthusiasm. He gave a red cheeked Robbe a fast peck on the lips.
Jens looked down with an heavy feeling in his heart.
He didn’t like the way they were so lovey dovey all the time. It made him feel lonely. He wanted someone to stand by his side. Especially lately. That’s why the last comment stung a little bit harder. He knew Sander’s parents were rich. He knew his home life improved greatly since Robbe came into his life. Robbe was Sander’s rock, Sander’s mom knew that.
Robbe didn’t knew what was happening with Jens nowadays.
How his home was only getting worse. How his parents would never be able to buy something like a car. Their yelling was getting louder and louder every evening. Sleep was starting to be a problem. Especially because his little sister kept crawling into his bed with the saddest face he ever saw.
And then she would ask the same question over and over again.
“Are mommy and daddy getting divorced, Jens?”
It broke his heart every damn time.
He didn’t want to think about that now. He shook his head to clear the thoughts.
Jens wanted to be happy. So he put on a fake smile and grabbed Moyo by his wrist. This startled his friend for a second.
“Yo, bro, did you bring the weed?”
“Yeah, ofcourse, I’m not an idiot.” Moyo replied. He pulled out the bag and started rolling. Meanwhile, Sander and Robbe were bickering about which highway was the fastest to take. Apparently they were going to a lake somewhere. Sander’s parents knew someone who knew someone. Which meant they could go to a lake house in the Netherlands without any reservations or payment.
Suddenly, Moyo looked up at Jens with an uneasy smile. Like he felt that Jens needed a good conversation with a friend instead of some weed. Maybe he was used to reading his mother’s vibes and developed a sixth sense for mood-swings.
“You ok, bro?”
Jens sighed. He took the rolled joint out of Moyo’s hands and lit it up.
“I am now.”
——————————————-
The sun was already setting when they arrived at the lake house. Five hours later. The Waze app told them it should have took only two hours, but hey, it was Sander at the wheel. He knew all of the fastest routes in the Netherlands, he exclaimed. He’d already been there multiple times, right? What could go wrong?
“So now we know!” Aaron cried out loudly, while trying to pull himself out of the crowded backseat. Multiple bags of booze fell out of the car with him. The one on top made a loud clinking sound.
“Know what?” Jens asked. He checked the bag where the sound came from. Thank god, no jenever bottles were broken.
“What a terrible driver Sander is.” Moyo laughed, with tears in his eyes. “You suck, man, I’m sorry for the examinator who gave you your driver’s license. He’s probably wondering right now what he unleashed on the world, by letting you drive.”
“Hey hey hey,” Sander laughed. “The man was just too scared, he didn’t dare to withhold my license or I would’ve driven him into a tree, okay?!”
Moyo was slapping his hand on Sander’s back, laughing out loud. They seemed to get along pretty well these days. They appeared to have the same, weird dark humor. Which was unexpected. He never knew Moyo had this totally different side to him, a softer side, until he surprised the boys a while back with his speech about bipolarity.
But hey, at least Robbe couldn’t have been happier with this development. He was floating on cloud nine the last couple of months. Which Jens liked. He liked it a lot. A huge weight seemed to be lifted off the smaller boy’s shoulders. He was happier now.
Robbe used to be so closed off all the time. Not communicating. Not acknowledging his own struggles. It was so difficult to get through to his best friend at times. Even when he knew that Robbe was struggling with something, he didn’t know how to pull it out of him.
Now it was the other way around. But, did Robbe notice?
“Broerrrs, huddle together!” Robbe cried out.
“We have three rooms in there. I guess Sander and I get one for ourselves.” His cheeks were starting to flush crimson red. “Since we… ehm… since we will -”
“Yeah yeah, no need to explain, we KNOW.” Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. They were all used to the couple’s public displays of affection. They almost barged into the bathroom during their session at a party. Thank god Sander was able to close the door within the millisecond. No need to repeat that, no thanks.
“But who will have his own room?”
“Rock paper scissors?” Moyo proposed.
“Sounds good to me!”
——————————————-
Well at least he will get a good night’s sleep. Alone, Jens thought, while looking down at his half empty jenever bottle.
He was sitting at the very end of the campfire. The boys were all huddled on the other side. Moyo was telling the story about how he tried to kiss Noor at the Christmas party, which didn’t exactly end the way he wanted.
Robbe was laughing along with his memories. He knew how Noor was wired. When Moyo made his move, Noor straight up laughed in his face while listing all the things she’d rather do before she would ever kiss Moyo.
One even involved kissing Britt.
Which still made Jens chuckle.
Aaron was listening intently to every word Moyo said, like he was learning the expertise in how to pick up chicks. He’s such a dork, honestly. But you know, you can’t dislike him. It’s just how Aaron was. Dork and all.
Sander, on the other hand, was much more peculiar. He was sitting the closest to Jens. Silently sketching some lines, which looked vaguely like the bike tunnel in white light? Jens couldn’t figure out what was so important about a tunnel .
Every now and then, his mind wandered back to this strange boy with the bleach blond hair and black combat boots.
You know, when his face was relaxed, he could see why Robbe fell for Sander. He wasn’t ugly. Plus he had a muscular body. Not that Jens thought about a boy’s abs or the way that made him feel. It was purely out of curiosity, ofcourse. Like why his best friend would fall for a boy. Jens could never imagine falling in love with a boy. Boys were different than girls. More muscled, more rough. More complicated?
He shook his head to rummage his thoughts. He was drifting away slowly, getting more and more drunk and high on the beat of music. Wait, what music? His hazy brain registered the song coming from the other side of the cabin. He didn’t know they had neighbors. Nobody told him about the other cabins. Why didn’t anyone tell him? He wanted to party as well.
Jens stood up with the bottle in his hand. Maybe the other people wanted to party with him. This group was getting boring anyways. The couple was slowly kissing while slipping away towards the cabin and the other two were laying on the ground looking at the stars. High as a truck. Jens rolled his eyes.
He stumbled towards the music. Why was walking suddenly so difficult? Walking didn’t use to be so difficult, right? One, two, three. Come on, Jens! One, two, three, four.
Dancing on the beat, Jens slowly stepped closer to the other cabins. He recognized the song. He heard the laughter of a boy, teasing the other two boys by the choice of their music. “Come on, this is what you call music?” “Well, I’m sorry, we don’t all have the same taste in underground bands like you do, Luc. Please spare us some popular music.”
The boy laughed loudly. His soft curls were bouncing off his head. Jens’ heart stood still for a second. Then the cute boy looked up and saw Jens staring at them.
“Guys, I think we have a visitor.”
——————————————-
“So Jens-from-Belgium, what do you think of us so far? Were we very welcoming to a drunk stranger like you?” Kes asked while passing on his joint to Jayden. Lucas was looking at Jens, like he was a puzzle waiting to be solved.
Jens laughed and looked down. An hour had a passed since he met these guys. He was feeling much better. Still a bit high, even though he was pretty sure the booze was already wearing off. So why did he still feel this way?
He felt Lucas’ eyes on him. Some deep soulful eyes. Beautiful eyes. He didn’t dare to look inside them. But he still wanted to.
“Well, you all seem pretty awesome. Maybe we should all hang out tomorrow, get to know each other better?” The last part of the sentence was directed towards Lucas. The mysterious boy with the bouncy curls.
He really liked this boy. He was different. Jens felt something stir inside him. He was nervous. He was feeling a bit queasy even. What if Lucas said no?
“Yeah sure. Tomorrow.” Jayden answered instead. “But tonight, I think I’m going to go off to bed.” Kes was nodding along. “Yeah same. Luc, are you coming?”
Lucas was still looking at Jens with an intense stare. He shook his head, without saying anything. Kes didn’t seem surprised by his simple reaction and walked away.
“So you’re not going with your friends?” Jens asked nervously. Lucas shook his head again and sat a bit closer to Jens.
“Didn’t feel like it,” he muttered. “it’s always the same thing with the guys. Drugs, booze, partying, girls. Sometimes I just want to sit, relax and enjoy the stars. Enjoy the music. Enjoy some good company.” His cheeks started to flush a little.
Jens didn’t know how to answer this statement. He felt the exact same way. He wanted to talk, wanted to reveal his life. To this boy, to ease his pain. He wanted substance. But, instead of answering, he looked down.
“You seem different,” Lucas remarked. “You’re not like the others. You’re not boring. You are you.”
Jens looked up to the beautiful boy again. He was pleasantly surprised. Did Lucas just gave him a compliment? He seemed to be flirting with Jens, but he wasn’t sure. It was making him agitated and he didn’t know why.
“Well, I try. I don’t think I’m myself right now. I’m just…,” his voice faltered a little. His eyes felt teary. “Lost and lonely, I guess.”
“Lonely?”
“Yeah…”
He waited for an answer, while looking down again. Maybe he went too far. He never opened up his soul like this before. Maybe the boy would think he was a weirdo. A loner. A loser.
Then he heard a sound. Lucas seemed to be nudging even closer to Jens. He heard him sigh deeply. Like he knew. Jens felt an arm coming around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t want to hug this total stranger.
But he did.
So he let himself go and fell into the much needed hug. It was so nice and comforting. They fitted perfectly together like puzzle pieces. Lucas touched his hair. Brushing it away slowly. A warm breath on his neck. He felt his heart beating against Lucas’ chest. The sound was growing louder by the minute.
Thump, thump, thump.
Jens’ mouth felt like a desert. His hands were clammy. The butterflies in his stomach were twirling at record speed. He felt a hand caressing his cheek, nudging him to look up. The Dutch boy smiled a little. His eyes were blue windows, filled with only softness.
“Aren’t we all?”
He pulled him closer, noses slightly touching each other.
A hitched breath.
A heartbeat.
And then there were only pink lips.
Soft, sweet lips.