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I woke up loving her. My first thought, the first thing I saw. The first thing I’d ever want to see, her.
Every cell in my body had died, burned and rearranged itself. I could feel the pain from my past radiating into my bones from the mind of someone else and it hurt. It still hurts. But she was there, she was there, she was there and I was okay.
Everything was new, I was new, but her? No, she’s the oldest thing in the world. The only constant I had as the ground crumbled under me. All I knew, all I’ve ever known, is that I love her.
She was beautiful- is beautiful. “For a human,” I told her once, why would I say that? I wish I could take it back.
Although to her it wasn’t really me was it? It was him. I’d just woken up, still in love with this incredible woman.
I knew her.
But she’d just watched the man she loved die and now a stranger stood in his place. I had his memories, his thoughts, his feelings. But I wasn’t him.
God it burned, the way she looked at me that first moment. She tried to hide it but her face was full of fear, full of grief and full of hatred. It broke my heart. I wasn’t him and she resented me for it. I let her down.
I woke up loving her but I woke up breaking her heart.