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The thing is, he can't even pinpoint where exactly he fell. He's so far into it, that he only notices once he's in too deep to dig himself out.
And it seems like he's not the only one chagrined at himself.
“But I don't understand...I was being stupid. I mean, getting kidnapped? Because civilians accidentally thought I was a lost child and were trying to return me to my family but couldn't figure out where I was from and didn't speak Fire Country language at all and wound up accidentally kidnapping me? It sounds like one of those incomprehensible and poorly thought out plots of some tale that a drunk farmer came up with to explain to his wife why he sold off his buffalo for a single grain of rice. How in the world did that start to endear me to you?”
Madara pinches his the bridge of his nose. Well, when the pretty little Senju puts it like that...
“No, no, you misunderstand. It's not just that at all. That's just where it started you see, because I'd never met you up until that point. It's—”
“But you just said it was the thing that first got you interested in me. Like...how? I got kidnapped. By well meaning civilians. And I was only in that situation to begin with because I didn't listen to Anija and was trying out a new jutsu that drained me so much I wound up unconscious. It's basically stupidity stacked on top of stupidity.”
Well, that's certainly one way of looking at it, but it's not the way that Madara prefers.
“You were being generous once you came to! You didn't hurt them or anything like that! And even though they'd brought you to us instead—”
“—they're civilians! Chichi-ue and Anija may not allow me much field experience—”
And thank the kami for that, if his new wife's propensity of getting into trouble would have also held true on the battlefield.
“—but I still can't go against defenseless civilians! They were only trying to help!”
Ah, but, “they also brought you to an enemy clan and left you to our devices,” Madara points out. He's glad of it, of course, since that's how the precocious little Senju first came to his attention (and look where that brought him eventually), but really, had Madara not been who he was and if otousama was still in charge, then Hashirama would likely be mourning his last brother by now.
Or his clan, depending on how ruthless his father would have felt at that particular moment.
...
Yeah, there's been many moments where Madara's missed his father, but that particular moment was most certainly not one of them.
He pulls his wife onto his lap and begins to cuddle that fluffy white hair.
Said fluffy-haired wife immediately elbows him in the chest.
“Madara...! This is no time for cuddles! We're having a discussion right now! I need to understand exactly why you came to like me!”
He sighs.
Just his luck for falling for an insatiably curious creature like this pretty Senju. He could have had someone more calm and mellow, like Hikaku or that lazy Nara or...
Blegh.
No.
Not that lazy Nara. He has no desire to spend the rest of his days tangled up in Shogi and doing everything himself.
...but at least the Nara wouldn't be so physically insistent on answers.
(He hopes Tobira-chan will grow out of jabbing at him with his fairly sharp limbs.)
“I told you,” he says, discretely trying to encourage that sharp elbow down. “When the civilian traders delivered you to me—”
“—and I can't really blame them for that because they didn't speak our language and thought I must belong to you because of my red eyes—”
“—I was impressed by your escape method.”
The body in Madara's lap suddenly twists and skeptical red eyes look at him.
“I blew up half your compound because I was going for normal dirt for a doton but got a hold of your super fertilizer instead.”
Yes. Madara remembers.
“You know, I think Hikaku still hasn't forgiven you for that.”
“How was I to know that you kept super concentrated nitrogen in your storehouse? I was just trying to create a mudslide—”
Madara blinks. “Oh, is that what caused it? Water and our super concentrated nitrogen?”
That tousled fluffy white head nods. “Yes, nitrogen in certain conditions can cause an explosion, and with the volume you had, in the state you were storing it in, and since I added water, it...”
The red eyes lower, suddenly bashful. “I...really hadn't planned THAT to happen. At all.”
“And poor Hikaku got the brunt of it since he's in charge of the agricultural duties of our clan.”
Those shoulders hunch up. “I wasn't trying to do that much damage...”
No. No, the little Senju really hadn't been.
“So you can see why I was impressed then. I had to learn more about the mysterious deadly pint-sized Senju. And once I learned over the next decade...” Madara leans in and kisses the tip of his wife's nose. “Can you blame me for falling for you? You're just so...impossibly you.”
The nose scrunches up.
Ah, kami-sama. How is his wife so damn cute?
“That makes no sense. Who else would I be but me? It shouldn't be impossible to be me since I am, you know, me and—mfph!”
Yeah, Madara loves his new wife and all, but...
He really is too adorably curious.