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Will Herondale stared with heavy eyes upon his wife. She lay the same as she had for the past two days, immobile except for the reassuring rising and falling of her chest. Will's eyes began to close, his body fighting the fact that he had not slept since Tessa had gotten injured. For what seemed like the millionth time he berated himself for letting her go on this mission. He had known it was dangerous, but at the time he and Tessa had both thought it worth the risk. After all anything involving yin fen always struck close to home.
You need to rest, William. Said the voice inside his mind.
Pulled from his thoughts, Will glanced up at the person sitting on the opposite side of the bed, Jem. His Jem. Their Jem.
Tessa will be here when you awaken and if there are any changes to her condition I will get you. I have told you she will be alright her body just needs time to recover.
“Then why are you still even here than?” Will snapped.
Regret filled him as soon as the words left his mouth. But before any apology could leave his lips something else came out.
“You must hate me for putting her in such danger. For me being such a bloody dreadful husband to let her get hurt so terribly.”
Jem shifted imperceptibly in the tufted chair he sat in. William, he began but before he could say anything else it was as if a dam had been released inside Will and he began speaking again, “ I mean here is the person you love most in the world, lying in her bed half dead because she had to marry an idiot of a shadowhunter, who doesn’t even have the decency to keep her safe from demon attacks.”
Are you quite done? Jem asked this in the way he spoke to Will of all things, with a tone of patience and tenderness. I am not angry at you Will, first of all, do honestly believe that you telling Tessa not to go on this mission would have stopped her. We both know that our Tessa is much too headstrong to listen to you about such matters if it was important to her. And if anything I should be blaming the demon, not you, for Tessa’s injuries.
“You know what the mission was about then?” Will asked his voice full of regret.
That you and Tessa where trying to stop a shipment of yin fen from coming into the hands of the local werewolf pack, yes.
Will could swear he heard a sigh in Jem’s voice.
“We had to, you understand, once we knew about being able to stop even a small amount of yin fen from entering the country. We couldn’t have lived with ourselves knowing that someone could become addicted, become ...”
But his voice trailed off, because they both knew what he was going to say, become like you were. Dying.
I could also never blame you for not keeping Tessa safe as that would mean hating the person both her and I love. I could never hate because it would mean not only hating a piece of my heart, but also of Tessa’s.
Will wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. So he simply said “I’m sorry for snapping at you, I didn’t mean a word of it.”
I know, said Jem with almost rye amusement lacing his silent voice.
Just then there was a shuttle shifting in the bed. Tessa’s eyes fluttered open.
“Will?” she asked her voice hoarse from non use.
Will grabbed Tessa’s hand from beneath the silk bedding and let out a breathe.
“Tess, stay still darling you were injured, you’re still healing.”
But, of course, Tessa did not listen she turned her head and saw Jem, a soft smile glowed on her face. Jem stood up from his chair and came over to examine Tessa.
As soon as he came close however, Tessa grabbed his hand with her free one.
Will looked at both Tessa and Jem and thought about how for now, these stolen moments were enough.