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Ian woke up to an empty bed, he could hear noise from the kitchen and smelled a good breakfast.
This was his second favourite way of waking up. He smiled with his eyes still closed when he heard Mickey humming from the kitchen.
Mickey only hummed when he was happy, really happy.
The ginger slowly rolled out of bed and went into the kitchen to his boyfriend.
Mickey stood in front of the stove, cooking what smelled like bacon.
Ian smiled and just watched and listened to him humming for a moment. He saw how Mickey sometimes wrote a few words down on a paper.
The ginger slowly came up to him and placed a soft kiss on the back of Mickeys neck.
Mickey stopped humming and quickly turned the paper around.
"You're awake."
Ian wrapped both arms around him from behind, "What are you hiding from me there?"
"Nothing"
"Nothing? Why did you put it away so quickly then?"
Mickey turned around in Ian's arms, "Am I not allowed to have a secret?", he smiled and kissed him.
"Of course, you are", he smiled and kissed him again before he let Mickey turn around again so their breakfast wouldn't burn, "I'm just nosey."
"I know you are. Nosey and stubborn. Sit down, breakfast is ready."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ian sat on the couch, staring into nothingness in front of him.
"Ian? Are you okay?", Mickey asked when he came home, and Ian didn't even react.
The ginger looked at him, just now noticing his presence, "Oh, hey, you're back."
"Are you just sitting here motionlessly like a robot whenever I leave the house?", he asked and sat down next to him.
"No... was just thinking."
"About what?"
Ian sighed, "I met up with Lip and Fiona while you were out. They just said some shit that upset me a bit, that's all."
"Aren't they always?", Mickey half smiled, "What was it this time?"
Ian rolled his eyes, "They talked shit about you"
"So, the usual? That still upsets you? Fuck them. What did they say this time?"
Ian shrugged, "That you are heartless and as cold as a stone and you will never change."
Mickey just smiled at him, "I already changed, thanks to you. Yeah, I was just one of those cold, lonely stones like other losers in this neighbourhood. But you took me home though and rescued me."
"You were never a loser"
"I was scared by life and bitter, all of my steps just caused problems and at night I just drowned in a pile of shit.", he shook his head, "I was a useless, cold stone. Guess some stones you just have to grind."
Ian smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
"Now you're my gemstone."
Mickey scoffed, "You're a dork."
Ian put his hand on Mickeys cheek.
"You will never leave me, right? No matter what comes."
"Are you kidding?", Mickey grinned at his boyfriend, "You build me up, lie down with me, I can talk about anything with you or just don't use words, something I wouldn't have understood before. You made me go new ways in life and I actually felt alive for the first time.", he leaned into Ian's touch, "I know not everybody is this lucky. I'm just here, because of you, I'm not going anywhere without you."
Ian leaned in to kiss him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was of course a reason Ian's siblings had been bugging him more than usually.
Ian was sick.
The Gallagher had a mental illness, he was bipolar, and somehow, he had been able to keep it a secret from Mickey since he got his diagnosis (Mickey was in prison at the time).
His siblings of course didn't approve the relationship to begin with, but that Ian kept this secret from Mickey, only strengthened their believe that Mickey wasn't good enough for Ian.
"If you love each other so much, why don't you tell him – or are you afraid he'll dump you?"
Mickey was alone at home, when someone knocked on the door. He didn't expect anyone, so he wasn't even really willing to go and open the door. He did look who was there though. He sighed when he opened the door just to see Fiona and Lip Gallagher.
"What are you two doing here? Ian is at work."
"We need to talk with you."
"Oh, so now it's not enough anymore that you dump on me in front of Ian, now you wanna say it straight to my face? When will you finally stop trying to rip us apart? We're together and we're staying together. Deal with it. Good day", he wanted to slam the door into their stupid faces, but Lip stopped the door and the Gallaghers pushed past Mickey and went to the living room.
"Are you masochists? Or have a death wish or something?"
"Are you threatening us?", Lip asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Are you telling Ian to leave me every chance you get?"
"Well, sorry, if we want our little brother to be with someone he deserves."
"And that's not me?"
"No."
"Because?"
"You're a thug", Fiona stated.
"And who of us was in prison for almost killing their baby brother with coke? Do random siblings come to you all the time and tell you what a fucking bitch you are?"
"Listen, you two will never work out in the long run.", Lip said matter of factly, "Because for a stable relationship, you need trust. And he doesn't trust you."
"What? Of course, he trusts me, what the fuck are you talking about?", Mickey exclaimed confused.
"Oh, does he?", Lip smirked smugly, "Did he tell you that he's sick then?"
Mickey stared at him, then at Fiona and back at Lip confused.
"Sick? What are you talking about? Ian is fine."
"Is he? Or did he just not tell you he's sick, because he thinks you'll kick him out as soon as you know that he's mentally ill?", Fiona asked.
Mickey wanted to punch those smug fucking looks out of their faces.
"Well, I guess we should go. Ian will be home soon.", the Gallagher sister said and left the house with Lip, leaving Mickey standing in his living room baffled.
Half an hour later Ian came through the door. Mickey sat on the couch.
"Hey, what are you- ", he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed what stood in front of Mickey on the coffee table: Three orange pill-bottles. His meds.
"Sit down.", Mickey only said to him. Ian slowly sat down next to him.
"Your siblings were here earlier.", he said.
"Mick, I can explain.", Ian whispered.
"Let me finish talking. They said, you were sick. I had no fucking idea what they were talking about. Just said, it's mental. They said, you didn't tell me, because you don't trust me."
"That's not the reason I didn't tell you."
"However, I freaked out and went through your stuff... until I found these. So, what is it?"
Ian sighed, "Bipolar", he whispered ashamed, "Like my mother."
Mickey knew his mother was a hard topic for Ian, he had told him more than enough stories about her crazy stuff. He put a hand on Ian's shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me? Did you really think I'd leave you?"
Ian looked at him, "You should leave me, Mickey. This disorder is hell. I'm gonna be sick all my life. I'm surprised I managed to keep it a secret from you all this time. I need to take these meds twice every day. You should run as long as you can."
"I'm not gonna run.", he shook his head, "Hey, I told you, I'm not going anywhere without you. I could never leave you, sick or not."
"But you will treat me differently. I don't want that."
"I won't."
"Everybody does. Fiona, Lip, they treat me like I already did as much shit as our mom did. I don't want you to look at me and just think that your boyfriend is a psycho."
"I'll never think that. I love you. I will give you all the help you need with this disorder. Fuck your stupid-ass siblings. They can go to hell."
Ian looked at him uncertain. Mickey scooted closer and put his arms around Ian's neck.
"I just want you to be okay and healthy and happy. If you need me to treat you like I do every day I will and if you need me to step up my game and help you with the meds or... phases, episodes, whatever, I will do that. Just tell me what to do and I will."
Ian smiled softly at him.
"I just wanted this place to my safe space where I don't have to think about it. Just tell me that this place is safe and everything good stays here. And what you promise today will still be true tomorrow. And if I come home from work tomorrow everything is unchanged."
Mickey ran his hand through Ian's hair, the ginger leaned back on the couch and pulled Mickey on top of him.
"I just need that bit of stability and safety from you. Just give me something, something that stays."
"Even if the world loses its mind, this, between us, this home, stays untouched. Nothing will happen to us."
Ian nodded and cuddled Mickey closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mickey kept his promise. He didn't treat Ian differently in any way, except that he told Ian to not hide his meds from him and Mickey made sure Ian really took them.
At one point, Ian got manic and Mickey handled it and then Ian sunk into a small depressed episode and Mickey handled that too and took care of him.
It was a year since Mickey knew about Ian's diagnosis.
Ian woke up to an empty bed, he could hear noise from the kitchen and smelled a good breakfast, like so often.
He smiled with his eyes still closed when he heard Mickey humming from the kitchen.
Mickey was happy.
The ginger slowly rolled out of bed and went into the kitchen to his boyfriend.
Mickey stood in front of the stove, cooking what smelled like eggs.
Ian smiled and just watched and listened to him humming for a moment. He saw how Mickey sometimes wrote a few words down on a paper, he saw him doing that a lot in the last year.
The ginger slowly came up to him and placed a soft kiss on the back of Mickeys neck.
"Morning", Ian whispered, "Are you always writing on the same thing or is that like a daily writing exercise?"
"I worked on something. But I think it's finished now."
"So, I can see it."
"No, you can sit down and eat your breakfast."
Ian chuckled and kissed his cheek.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day was a special day, it was their anniversary. They started off with some good morning sex, followed by shower sex, a needed breakfast and then some sweet couple time for themselves on the couch.
Mickey had been distracted and nervous for the past hour and Ian of course noticed.
"Mickey are you okay? You seem a bit off."
Mickey bit his lip and sat up on the couch.
"You alright?"
"Yeah... just... a few things I need to say. You know, what I said I worked on all the time? I just... wanted to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you, so I tried to write something down every time I thought about you. So, I could figure out what I love about you the most."
"Okay...."
Mickey smiled at him.
"Turns out I always love you the same, no matter what you do, you make me damn fucking happy. I found a treasure with you, so beautiful and valuable, that there is no money someone could give me that is more valuable than you are. I love it when you fall asleep next to me and I could watch you all night long, see how you sleep and hear how you breathe until we wake up in the morning. You take my breath away every day and when you lie next to me, I can't believe that someone like me deserves someone like you. Your laugh is addictive, almost as if it's not from this world. And even if your love would be poison, I'd stay with you until I die. If I can't deal with life, you're my safe place because everything you give me feels so endlessly good. So, I put my whole small big world into your saving hands. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, it feels so good how you love me, I don't say it often enough, I'm so glad that you exist.", he swallowed and got something out of his pocket, it was a small ring that he held in front of an already speechless Ian, who just gasped at the sight, "Ian Gallagher, will you marry me?"
"Yes!", Ian said breathlessly and started smiling widely, still half in disbelieve this was really happening, "Oh my god, yes! I will marry you, Mickey, yes!"
He tackled the Milkovich in a kiss, pushing him back into the couch.
Mickey chuckled into the kiss, "You gotta let me put the ring on your finger though, Ian, otherwise it's not official."
Ian laughed and let him put the ring on his finger before kissing him again.
"I love you so much, Mickey, fuck!", he kissed all over his face and found his lips hungrily. Mickey kissed him back with a huge grin on his face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mickey and Ian were married for two years and it turned out you aren't always on cloud 9 all the time.
Right now, it was hard. They had fought a lot, actually it was all they had been doing the last weeks, almost two months.
They were fighting about everything, about jobs, and not enough time and Ian's siblings still being dicks towards Mickey after they were a couple and even married for such a long time. They even fought about Ian's bipolar and the meds.
Mickey was scared.
He was scared to lose Ian through this. They never had such a low before in their relationship and he had no idea for how long it would go on and how they could get out of it. He had no idea if they would make it out of it without breaking up.
Right now, they lay in bed together, it was late, but neither was asleep yet.
Mickey knew, he at least had to try to fix this. His worst fear was losing Ian and he would rather give in and be the first one to apologise than to lose him.
Their wedding picture stood on Ian's bedside table.
Mickey reached over Ian and touched the frame gently.
"You didn't look at me like this in a long time.", he whispered and lay back down, "Didn't talk to me. Are you missing something? Don't you know anymore what touches you and who loves you? Because I do love you. No matter how bad we are right now. I stay awake until you can fall asleep, but you just keep moving around. Sleep the nights turned away from me... are you lonely next to me?"
Ian took a deep breath and turned around to him.
"I love you too. I don't want to fight all the time. I don't know what is going on with me... I'm so confused... I have so much stress with Fiona and Lip and the job and staying on top of the disorder and I let it out on you... I'm sorry"
Mickey nodded and bit his bottom lip. He reached for Ian's hand.
"You can always count on me, Ian. Hold on to me, if life tears you apart or you don't know how to keep going. Okay? Hold on to me, because it's all that we have left in the end. You and me. I'm not letting you go."
Ian felt tears filling his eyes and he nodded and pulled Mickey's hand to him and kissed his knuckles.
"We should go outside", Mickey said suddenly.
"It's around midnight"
"Yeah, put some clothes on, let's just... walk around at night, just us without taking any fucking problems with us, okay? Can you do that for me?"
A few minutes later they walked outside through the streets of the southside. Ian was holding on to his hand like Mickey had said.
"I like this", Ian mumbled, "It's calm. I barely get to see this place calm."
"Or us calm, these days."
Ian nodded.
"You are right, in the end we are all we have left. If I wouldn't take my stress out on you, you'd be the only thing in my life that's not causing any stress. I love you, I love being your husband. I'm sorry."
Mickey kissed his cheek, "My biggest fear is to lose you. Fail this marriage and seeing you go."
Ian looked down at him and scoffed, "You're not losing me. I need to get my shit together, but you won't ever lose me. I love you."
Mickey smiled and looked down at their hands smiling.
"You always leave a light on for me when you wait for me to come home even though it's too bright for you. You listen to my music even though you hate it, you're quiet for me when I'm too loud, you are perfect for me. I would burn all my favourite CD's for you in a heartbeat, and if it's somehow important to you, I'll walk to fucking Brazil. I listen to bands that I don't like, I watch your stupid movies with you, it's fucking cold here in the middle of the night – but I don't care as long as you are here with me.", Ian made him look at him, "We get through this. Nothing can happen to us, Mick, we are each other's safe spaces."
Mickey nodded and kissed him, "I love you", he mumbled.
"I love you too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They got through it and from that point onwards knew, they would defeat just about any little bump in the road.
A few years down the line and they filled the Milkovich house with some cute children, that weren't so cute sometimes, that made them upset and happy and cry and laugh.
Right now, their oldest, Jamie, was fifteen. Alex was ten and Toby was seven.
Mickey helped the two kids with their homework, while Ian cleaned up the kitchen, when Jamie stormed angrily into the living room from the front door.
"Jamie are you okay?", Mickey asked immediately worried.
Jamie stomped towards the dining table and flopped down at the table. She sat there with her arms crossed in front of her chest, angry.
"I need you to kill someone, pops!", she growled.
"Who?", Mickey simply asked.
"Sam."
Mickey raised his eyebrows at her, "Boyfriend Sam?"
"Yes! What other Sam could I possibly mean?"
Mickey shrugged, "Do I know how many Sams you know? What did he do?"
"Fucking cheated on me, the asshole"
Ian came to them from the kitchen, "Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry."
"I don't need you to be sorry, dad, I need Sam to die. Make it painful."
"No killings, Jamie, we talked about this."
"Then pops needs to stop offering."
"Hey, I would do it, but your dad won't let me."
"Yeah, make me the bad parent, thank you", Ian shook his head but smiled.
"One of us has to be the rational one who uses his brain once in a while, and I hate taking that role, so it's gotta be you", he smiled back.
Ian walked over to his chair, Mickey leaned his head back so Ian could lean over him and kiss him, before he went back to the kitchen.
Mickey smiled after him before giving his daughter his full attention again.
"So, who's the bitch the fucker screwed?"
"Mick! I told you, no hard cussing in front of the boys!"
Jamie almost smiled, "He's been telling you this since I can remember and he still things you'll change."
"No, he doesn't, just says it for good manners."
"Sam banged Tina Solowski."
"Solowski? The one with the weird mother who got her ass injections in a shady backyard and now her ass is all lumpy and bulgy?"
"Well, good he didn't fuck her mom, right?", she leaned back and sighed, "The worst thing is, I'm not even surprised. As if I just waited for him to turn out to be an asshole. Why are all guys like this?"
Mickey shrugged, "Because guys are assholes. Especially around here. They think they have to live up to certain expectations to be respected in the neighbourhood.", he rolled his eyes, "You're better than that anyways, Jay."
Jamie sighed, "Not all guys are like that right? I mean, you and dad found each other, and you are perfect."
Mickey smiled at her, "We needed a long time to get here. But yeah, there will be a person that's just right for you, you just have to find them. But they won't be freaking perfect from the beginning. They are like... cold, dirty stones. You have to find the right stone, bring it home and turn it into a gemstone."
Jamie frowned at him.
"That's super cheesy."
Mickey shrugged, "Your uncle Lip and aunt Fiona used to call me a cold and heartless stone. I was exactly that. I let Ian change me."
"How? How am I supposed to do that?"
Mickey shrugged, "Love. In the end, it always boils down to just being in love. But you're fifteen, you can take your time with that whole shit. You don't need to be halfway married and pregnant by age seventeen or so."
"I know, pops. But what the fuck even is love? No one can answer that. Maybe it doesn't even exist and is just a social construct to give procreation a binding aspect.", she mumbled.
"She said to her gay fathers.", Mickey rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Listen, Jay, maybe we don't have all the answers to your problems, but Love exists. I mean, look what it's done to me. I used to be some scared little hood rat and now I'm married to an amazing man and have three amazing children with him.", he looked to the kitchen where he could see Ian loading the dishwasher, "Love is the feeling after the first kiss when you have to think about them all the time without really thinking at all. When you both see eye to eye and can see your future in their eyes and feel drunk without even drinking a drop. It's when you are happy just by thinking about them and be considerate of each other. Sometimes you gotta step back and sometimes you gotta bear pain just to keep them safe. It means sharing everything and trusting each other with everything. Knowing that you can always count on them even though you're going through hard times sometimes. That's love and you shouldn't settle for anything less. But no matter with what person you will be together, it always takes time to get there."
Jamie looked at her pops and then to her dad, who now stood in the way through to the kitchen, just looking at his husband so full of love.
"Well, that was cheesy as fuck."
Mickey and Ian both chuckled at their daughters' statement.
"I still want Sam to die a gruesome death... But thanks for cheering me up, pops.", she smiled at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years passed by in a flash.
Their kids grew up, Jamie actually found that stone and turned him into a gemstone and so did her siblings. Ian and Mickey had a happy life altogether and loved their grandchildren and children as much as they loved each other.
Now Mickey was lying in a hospital bed. Ian sat by his side.
"And I always thought, I'd be the one to lie in this hospital bed in the end.", Ian mumbled, tears kept rolling down his face, no matter how desperately he tried to rub them off.
"Hey, it's okay, Ian", Mickey whispered and reached for his hand.
"How is this okay? What am I supposed to do without you?", he leaned his forehead against his husband's hand, "This isn't supposed to happen yet, Mickey. Toby's second will never meet you."
"He still has you, Ian. It's okay."
Mickey came to terms with dying a long time ago and now it was time for him. He knew he didn't have long anymore even though the stupid doctors kept going from "We think you have around six more months" to "Everyday now" and back a lot.
Mickey just wanted to get out of this stupid hospital, and he wanted Ian to stop having to come here every day just to watch him die.
"It's not okay. It can't be okay, How am I supposed to live without you?"
Mickey smiled at him weekly, "Your own fault for living so damn healthy, we all knew you'd outlive me by far."
Ian sobbed again.
"Hey, Ian, listen to me.", he ran a hand through Ian's hair, "I love you. I'm gonna hold your hand for as long as I can, we both knew we can't beat time. You could say there were a few things in our lives that maybe shouldn't have happened as they did. But maybe is such a cowardly word. We always fought and didn't waist a second. It cost us a tone of strength, but it was all worth it to me and I thank you for every day I got to spend with you. Because I regret nothing. Not one step, not one moment of it. Even though it's lost and even though it's not enough to stop time, it wasn't for nothing. I don't regret a single wrong word, not one moment, I wouldn't take one step back. I regret nothing, nothing of it."
Ian looked at him, his face wet from tears, "I regret nothing either. I had the most perfect life I ever could thanks to you."
He leaned over the hospital bed and kissed him softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+
That day Ian had seen it in Mickey's eyes, when he looked at him so endlessly deep.
Words went and silence stayed. When Ian left that day, he knew Mickey wouldn't be alive when he came back.
He held on to him as long as he could, but no one could stop time.
And even though he had known it, no one could ever be ready to actually be told that the love of your life died last night.
He had wanted that last moment with Mickey to stay forever.
But the moment was like a house of cards and time pulled its cards out. Ian could just watch them falling to the ground, pick them up and hold on to them in form of old pictures, so his heart wouldn't forget him.
The first days after were the worst. He was overwhelmed with memories and found himself going through old photos way too often. He found notes Mickey used to make about how much he loved Ian, he found the little proposal speech written down in notes.
He remembered seeing tears in his eyes, of sadness when Ian had to go to the psych ward, of joy when the finally got to hold their daughter in their arms for the first time. Tears and memories that connected them.
Time had passed so quickly and pulled Mickey away with sickness and age and both refused to see time taking one of them away as possibility because neither wanted to leave this life that they build for themselves.
Ian wanted this to stay forever.
He wanted Mickey to stay forever.
But this life was like a house of cards and time pulled its cards out.
They could just watch them falling to the ground and now only Ian was left to pick them up and hold on to them, so his heart would never forget Mickey.
But Ian without Mickey wasn't a Ian with enough strength or will to stay on top of life. He wouldn't live the life they build together all alone. And none of their kids were surprised when not long after Mickey's funeral, Ian's heart also just stopped beating one day.