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“Good morning, Ryan.”
“Good morning, Meg.”
Ryan eases himself into Meg’s welcoming and brightly lit office. The lights don’t bother him as much as they used to. It’s not like they’re putting him on the spot like he felt they used to when he first started these sessions.
“So how are you doing today?” she asks.
The sessions usually start off candidly. Talking as if they were friends. Talking about common interests, things they’ve done this week. It eases Ryan into the atmosphere that is known as ‘therapy.’ To be honest, it’s been a long time coming. He hasn’t been in therapy since the incident of The King’s Vengeance. The time when his crew went insane and killed each other and he was the sole survivor in the bloody aftermath. He’d been twenty-three at the time and didn’t think he’d come out of it. But he was a referred to a therapist and went through six months of therapy before he felt good enough to head out on his own again.
But it’s only now that he’s realizing the incident has stuck with him for longer than he would like. It screwed him up royally, and he’s trying to unlearn a lot of bad social habits he’s picked up because of his trauma and also because he just wants to be a better partner for his boys—Jeremy, Michael, and Gavin deserve that at the very least. They’ve been so patient with him, weathered the ups and downs he’s had, and shown him he’s worthy of love and companionship.
After this time of speaking candidly, Meg likes to take it to the deeper subjects. The ones Ryan purposefully ignores otherwise he feels like he’s taking ten steps back in his own life trajectory.
“It sounds like you’ve had a nice break returning to academics. How’s the sabbatical been?”
It’s not a true sabbatical, but taking leave time from The Hunter’s Achievement in order to publish some of his research has been a good time to reset himself. It did, however, mean that he’s been apart from his boys for a few months now. The Hunter’s Achievement is scheduled to dock within the next few days and then he’ll be back on board.
“I think it’s been good,” he says and he earnestly means it. “I’ve been able to do a lot of things I’ve been meaning to for a while now. Finished a lot of passion projects, and I’m honestly ready to get back out there again.”
“That’s great. I’ve read a lot of your papers. And even if the terminology is a bit lost on me, you do have a great way with words. Especially when you describe the worlds you’ve visited.”
“I’ll admit, I have missed fieldwork. I guess it’s always been my passion.” He knows now he was never truly meant to stuff himself away in an office grading papers. Despite his experience, he loved going to new worlds. It’s been his passion since he was a child on an agriculture planet, looking up at the stars and being told it was never his destiny to go to them.
“I bet it’s going to be nice to see your partners as well.” Meg has the smile, the smile that says she’s immensely proud of him.
Ryan, who’s still getting used to talk anything about his private life, blushes. “It will be. And I know it will be. It’s been nice to know that I can be apart from them. Not in any bad way, but I still like having a sense of who I am. But I do miss them terribly and I am literally counting down the hours until they arrive.”
“That’s so good to hear. Ryan, I’ve really enjoyed our time together. You honestly have a very good understanding of yourself, your dreams, and your boundaries. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you and I can’t wait to see what you accomplish next.”
They share a hug just before he leaves. It wasn’t as heavy as a session as he thought it was going to be. She’s helped him untangle a lot about himself. His trepidation of intimacy, his social anxiety. Everything makes a lot more sense now, and while he understands therapy isn’t the be all end all of his recovery, he doesn’t feel as uncomfortable in his body as he used to.
The hours remaining until he can be reunited with his boys can’t go by any faster. He’s at the dock waiting for them with his feet planted firmly on the ground. The space elevator is a terrifying and magnificent structure and each time he sees it ascend and descend, he gets a little bit more excited.
He spots his boys before they see him, and to be a shit about it, he holds himself back. Waits until they’re heading to the gates to be processed and walking on through before he approaches them silently.
“Can I help you carry your bags?” he says when he’s standing right next to Jeremy.
Jeremy startles, face surprised before it morphs into an expression of unbridled glee. “Ryan! It’s so good to see you, man!” He wraps his arms around him tightly and rocks them back and forth.
“You couldn’t have been more of a prick, could you?” Michael says. “Now are you going to carry our bags or not? Don’t think I’m not taking you up on that offer.”
“It’s the Rye-bread here to take us ho-ome.” Gavin’s sing-song voice is something Ryan has honestly missed. He’s missed all of them equally and terribly.
“All right,” Ryan says, detaching himself from Jeremy so he can help them with their bags. “Let’s get you guys somewhere comfortable. What’s everyone thinking for dinner?”
He sees them back to his pad. It’s got enough space for the four of them without feeling too crowded. Just cozy enough. Ryan breaks out the food from his fridge and sets out to make a home cooked meal for his boys. They deserve it. Transitioning back to real gravity can be rough, and the transition back to planet can sometimes be rough and unsettling. He wants them all relaxed, chatting idly in their excited (and sometimes loud) voices as Ryan cooks.
“Ryan’s pulling out all the stops today,” Michael says. “This is some really good beer. Where’d you get this shit?”
“Went to the market and asked what was popular.” Ryan shrugs. He doesn’t drink, so he took the first recommendation he got. At least it’s a winner.
He serves up four plates of the same food—a form of local cuisine he picked up and found to be delicious. Lots of fresh foods, noodles, and spices. The boys tuck in immediately and praise Ryan for his cooking ability. The compliments sit warmly in Ryan and carry him through the rest of the night.
“I’d say the most fun we had was when we got stuck in that asteroid field for like two weeks was it?” Gavin says. They’re all reclining in Ryan’s living space now, entertaining him with some of their best stories. “Yeah. Stuck in there because we drifted too far. Got sent out a few times though. Did some testing.”
“Find anything cool?”
“Oh, dude. Did we ever,” Michael says. “There was like this old battle station. Draconian in origin, was it?”
Gavin nods.
“Yeah. We got to go out and explore it for a bit. See if there were any artifacts we could take.”
“Super creepy though, just finding that huge thing sitting out there,” Jeremy says. “Gives me the creeps just thinking about it.”
“Oh, oh, oh!” Gavin says. “Remember the time we got to go that wedding? It was a week long celebration! I thought we’d be done in by the fairies from how many times people asked me to keep dancing.”
“It was a good time though,” Jeremy says. “Ryan, I think you would’ve hated it though.”
“Are you kidding?” Michael says. “He’d fit right in with the old crowd just sitting around the tables trading battles stories. He would’ve thrived there.”
It’s easy to sit back and just listen to them speak. He’s missed their voices, despite getting video messages from them every week. It’s just not the same when they aren’t here in person.
They talk themselves out by the end of the night, full of warm food, good beer, and finally resting with each other.
His bed is circle shaped, a unique quirk that came with the place. But it comfortably holds all four of them, which is another conversation entirely. All of them want to sleep next to him, and Ryan lets them bicker over him. He’s preening and he knows it, but he deserves this.
When they finally get settled, Ryan finds himself caged in on all sides, Gavin using his slimmer build to worm his way under Ryan’s arm in between him and Michael with Jeremy on Ryan’s other side. It’s comfortable and neat and Ryan wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Mm, love you, missed you,” Gavin says, breathing warmly against Ryan’s chest.
He can’t fight the smile as it creeps over his face in the dark. “Love you guys too.”