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The sun set over Paris.
Vibrant rays of golden light touched down on the city, reflecting off the polished steel beams of the Eiffel tower. The swarms of people that usually flooded the streets were thinning out as they finished their business, hurrying home to friends and families, people the needed them. And all swamped, practically drowning, in that brilliant, sunset-tinted light.
But the sun seemed to have abandoned where you were.
You gave a small shiver, rubbing the goose flesh on your arms. The canal was cast into shadow—almost as if dusk had come early to this part of the Seine. The boat rocked gently, creaking as the waters of the river lapped against it’s painted sides.
You bit back a sigh, perching on the railing of the Liberty. Your feet dangled precariously over water, hanging between boat and dock, but you trusted your balance.
Your neck craned upwards as you strained to see over the brick wall that lined the canal side, and into the park beyond. Your gaze was fixed on two shadowy forms, striding innocently across the white pavement path, unaware that someone was staring at them right at that moment.
“You watching them?” A familiar voice rang out from behind you. You bolted upwards, stifling a yelp.
“W—what?” You stuttered, glancing away from the happy couple that you had, indeed, been watching. “No! I’m not weird like that…I’m not stalking them…nohohooo!”
“You sure?” Luka, the boy who’d spoken, sat down on the ship’s rail next to you. You averted your eyes from him, which caused them to settle back on Marinette and Adrien, so far away in the park above.
“…alright.” You admitted, sighing. “I am watching them.”
As you watched, the silhouette of Adrien draped an arm over Marinette’s shoulders. Marinette, jumped, stumbling, and Adrien quickly grabbed her waist before she hit the ground. He helped her back up, brushing her clothes off, and you could see Marinette facepalm—no doubt she was talking about how clumsy she was. There was a moment’s pause, then their shadows entwined in an embrace, backdropped by the Paris skyline.
You dropped your gaze to the water below, a sour feeling twisting in your stomach.
What’s wrong with me? You thought. Why can’t I just be happy for my friends?
Luka didn’t look away—in fact, he didn’t even seem to react, gazing steadily at the two young lovers. You had to admire his fortitude—everyone knew he had a crush on Marinette. Or maybe “had had” was a better way to put it?
Were you the only one still wondering about his feelings for her? The rest of the friend group seemed to completely forget him in the light of Adrien’s recent feelings for Marinette.
“I’m happy for Marinette.” Luka said simply. You stifled a sigh. Of course he was. There was no “I’m happy for Marinette, but also sad that I wasn’t able to ever get together with her”, or “I’m happy for Marinette, but I still wish she’d chosen me”. He was just…glad she’d found happiness.
It was almost as if he thought his didn’t matter.
“I’m happy for Mari too.” You lied. Well, it wasn’t a total lie—you were happy for her. But you were simultaneously jealous. Of all people, it was the bumbling, awkward Marinette who got Adrien. You didn’t want to be a jerk like Chloe, or painfully obvious like Lila, but…
“Just…why Adrien?”
You didn’t realize you’d spoken out loud till Luka turned towards you, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“O-oh!” You stuttered, feeling your face flare. “Well, I…”
You paused, giving a sigh. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now. He’s made his choice. It just…still embarrasses me.”
Luka laid a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jolt slightly. You stared at it—the long, thin fingers, worn smooth by plucking at guitar strings; the neat, trimmed nails, painted glossy black; the accessories that encased his wrist and rested on the occasional finger.
“You know, you can tell me anything.” He said.
You realized you were still staring at his hand, and jerked your gaze up to meet his. You both made eye contact, and your cheeks flamed up by the pure sincerity in his blue eyes.
“Well, I…” You looked away, rubbing at your burning face. “I…used to have a crush on Adrien.” There. The cat was out of the bag. “Well, I don’t suppose ‘used to’ is the right word. I guess you could say I still have a crush on him. Um, sort of.”
“Really?” Luka sounded surprised. You dared not look at his face. “He…never really struck me as your type.”
WHY WAS HE EVEN THINKING ABOUT MY TYPE??? You thought, eyes widening. You paused, taking deep breaths, and forced yourself to calm down.
It means nothing. He probably thinks this about everyone.
“I…yeah, he really isn’t my type.” You admitted. “There’s really no reason I should still have this stupid crush on him. I’ve been trying to get rid of it all year! But…every time he smiles, he’s just so…dreamy…” Your voice lilted up several octaves, till you almost sounded like Marinette.
No. Do not go there.
You slapped yourself in the face in an effort to bring yourself back down to earth. You immediately winced—why did you think that would be a good idea?
“Hey.” Luka grabbed your hand. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
The soft contact of his fingers made your face burn even brighter, till it felt like you were a stoplight. What was wrong with you?
“S-sorry.” You squeaked. “I won’t.”
Luka nodded, still looking concerned, and released your hand. You could feel air rushing in where his warmth had just been, and you found yourself wishing he hadn’t let go.
“A…anyway.” You stuttered. “It’s just…weird. Well, not all that weird! It’s not weird that I have a crush on him. I mean, it’s a little weird now that he has a girlfriend, but…” You facepalmed. Now you were just rambling.
“I mean,” you tried again. “What girl hasn’t had a crush on Adrien Agreste at some point?” You gave a nervous laugh. Well, that didn’t sound stupid at all.
“My sister.” Luka’s prompt answer startled you.
“How do you know?” You asked, then resisted the urge to facepalm again. Who were you to challenge his bond with his sibling? Everyone knew Luka and Juleka were practically sibling goals.
“We don’t usually hold things back from each other.” Luka’s response was simple, and his tone told you he wasn’t offended. “I would know if Juleka’s ever had a crush on Agreste.” You raised an eyebrow at the use of Adrien’s last name.
“True.” You mused. “She also has her shy redhead now. What’s his name? Nathaniel?”
“Nathaniel?” Luka echoed, looking confused. “Who’s that?”
“…Nathaniel?” You said slowly. “Nat? The boy Juleka’s been in denial about but very obviously in love with for several months?”
A frown crossed Luka’s face.
“Does he usually hang out with us?” He asked. An incredulous grin broke over your face.
“Hahah!” You said, unable to stop yourself. “She must have been scared of your terrifying brotherly instincts.” Luka gave you a small grin.
“I can be very scary once you get to know me.” He agreed. You started giggling. The idea of Luka, of all people, scaring someone…you couldn’t help yourself.
“No way.” You said, poking him playfully in the arm. “You’re a total marshmallow.”
“Me?” He gasped, looking offended. “How dare you call the absolutely terrifying brother of Juleka a marshmallow!”
“Well, you are.” You insisted, poking him again. You were slightly surprised by his joking manner—you weren’t used to hearing the playful sarcasm in his voice.
“Prove it.” He said, a very obviously fake scowl on his face. You grinned, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.
“See?” You said. “Very squishy. Definitely a marshmallow.”
A spurt of laughter came stuttering from Luka’s mouth. He began laughing harder, still encased in your arms. You struggled to keep a straight face, biting back incessant giggles, but his laughter was too infectious, and soon had you laughing as well.
The mirth became too much, and you both lost your balance, tipping backwards off the rail. Luckily, there was a chair on the deck right behind you, and you both safely landed in it.
There was a moment of shocked silence, in which you checked each other over to ensure you both weren’t injured in any way.
Then the laughter broke out again, and Luka returned the hug that you were still maintaining, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“You’re pretty marshmallowy yourself.” He commented. This prompted another giggle from you, and you lifted a hand to brush tears of laughter from your eyes.
“…thanks.” You sighed. “I really needed that.” Especially after this afternoon.
Luka briefly tightened the hug, giving you a squeeze.
“Me too.” He said, his voice full of a warm sincerity that made you blush.
You shifted your position, sliding into his lap, instead of you both being crammed in one small seat. It was way more comfortable this way. You leaned your head against his shoulder, reveling in the warmth he gave off.
“Oh—sorry.” You realized. “Is this too awkward? If it’s awkward, I can, like…”
“No, no.” Luka assured you, leaning his head on top of yours. “It’s…comforting.”
The two of you sat there in silence for a bit.
“Hey…” Luka said, biting his lip. You raised your head to look at him, question written over your face.
“Yeah?” You asked. A tremor of worry went through you. Was this awkward after all? Did he want you to move?
“Never mind.” Luka shook his head, a light smile on his face. A fake smile, if you knew him at all.
“Hey.” You laid a hand on his shoulder, the same as he’d done for you earlier. “You know, you can tell me anything as well. You’re always here for me—for any of us. The least I can do is return the favor.”
Luka remained silent for a second, staring at your hand, face thoughtful. Then he turned his head to look at you, a strange expression on his face—as if he was trying to smile, but about to cry at the same time. Maybe he was about to cry, you realized with a burst of shock—there were tears glistening in the corner of his eyes.
“Oh my gosh.” You said, unsure of what to do. “Are you okay? What’d I say?” Luka gave a watery chuckle, lifting a hand to wipe away his tears.
“It’s not you.” He said. “Well, it is you, but not in the way you’re thinking, I promise.” You gave him a confused look. He wasn’t making sense.
“What I’m trying to say, is…” Luka sighed. “…thank you.”
“For what?” You asked, dumbfounded. What was even happening?
“For…everything.” Luka gave you a grateful smile, but then his face faded in a more somber expression. “I always feel like…well I’m barely older than any of us in the group, but everyone treats me like I’m an adult. I have to be the kind, patient, and mature one, no matter how I actually feel. I live with a mask on—I have to go around and pretend I’m always okay, all the time. And now everyone always comes to me for help, even my mom. But there’s no one for me to go to, even when I desperately need it, because after all—I’m the one who helps people, not the other way around. Just…hearing you say that I can be myself…that’s the most incredible thing anyone’s ever done for me. Thank you.”
“Oh, Luka.” You said, rendered nearly speechless. “I always knew there was something hidden behind that front you always put up, but I never realized just how serious it was. You can come to me at any time. With me…you don’t have to pretend everything’s okay.”
“T-thank you.” Luka stuttered. Tears slipped from the corner of his eyes, trickling down his cheeks. In spite if the revelation he’d just made to you, it was still jarring to see his facade break like that.
“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.” He buried his face in his hands, trying to choke back his sobs. “It’s so…so stupid. Please, just ignore me.”
“No! No!” You insisted, hands hovering helplessly over his head, unsure of what to do. “It’s not stupid. Just…let it out.”
He leaned forwards, grabbing you in a hug and burying his face in your shoulder. After a second of shocked processing, you hugged him back, arms tightly wrapped around his neck.
In a way, you were slightly awed. This was Luka at his most vulnerable, and he trusted you enough to let his guard down.
Truly, you would never forget this.
After a few minutes, his breathing evened out, sobs dimming to deep sighs and hiccups, He pulled back from you, red-rimmed eyes staring downwards. You reached out a hand, brushing hair back from his face, and his eyes dropped closed for a second as he leaned against your hand.
“I’m so, so sor—” He started saying.
“No.” You laid a finger against his lips, blocking the end of the sentence. “Do not apologize for being human.”
A weak chuckle escaped his lips, and he brushed a hand through his disheveled hair.
“Well, when you put it like that…” He said.
“Hey, Luka…thank you for trusting me.” You met his eyes, a deeply sincere expression on your face.
“Thank you for being there.” Luka pulled you in for a hug again, burying his face in your neck. You felt his warmth breath against your skin as he gave a barely-imperceptible sigh.
“Always.” You responded, tightening the hug.
This embrace lasted longer than the others.
Luka’s chest rose and fell as he took deep, calming breaths, clearly trying to recreate the facade of calm he’d let fall earlier. In a way, you were sad he had to maintain it again—but you also understood. You rested your chin on top of his head, stroking his hair in a way that you hoped felt soothing, not totally creepy.
“You know…” You commented, a small grin curling on your lips. “This makes me feel tall.”
Luka pulled his head back, a chuckle bursting from his throat.
“Sorry.” He grinned, craning his neck upwards. “I’m still taller.”
“What? No!” You protested. You removed your arms from around him, sliding off the chair and standing up.
“There.” You smirked, crossing your arms. “This makes me feel really tall.”
“Ha!” Luka accepted the challenge, standing up as well. You bit back a curse as he loomed over you—why did he have to be so dang tall?
“There.” He grinned, ruffling your hair. “What have you got to say now?”
You huffed out a breath, puffing out your cheeks. You would accept defeat, but you refused you accept it gracefully.
“You win.” You grumbled.
“You bet I do.” Luka smirked.
Oh, that was it.
You lunged forwards, beginning to tickle him. He fell backwards into the chair again, laughing hysterically.
Once again, you marveled at this totally different Luka behind the mask. You’d never seen such carefree liveliness from him. Sure, you’d both just been laughing earlier, but this was uncontrollable, unbridled, side-splitting laughter. His face was more expressive than you’d ever seen it—and for the first time in your life, you realized he had dimples.
And that’s when it hit you.
Luka was dang adorable.
“Okay, okay!” He wheezed, unsuccessfully trying to push you away. “I give in! I’m sorry!” You relented, a triumphant smirk on your face.
“I have an idea anyway.” You stood, grabbing his hand and pulling him up with you. You began jumping in place, leaping into the air and trying to get over his head.
“…what are you doing?” Luka asked, raising an eyebrow, his head bobbing up and down as he followed you.
“Trying…to…be…taller!” You gasped, bouncing unsuccessfully upwards again. Luka chuckled. The next time you jumped, he quickly put his hands on your sides, using your momentum to lift you up and over his head.
“There.” He said, grinning up at you. “Now you’re taller than me.”
You really hoped he couldn’t see the way your cheeks were heating up.
“Victory!” You cheered, swallowing your blush. “You know what? Maybe we should just walk around like this for the rest of the evening.”
“Yeah, that wouldn’t be awkward at all.” Luka agreed.
“Can you imagine the looks on our friends’ faces?” You giggled. You could already imagine the wide-eyed, accusing stares of the other girls.
“Oh, hi mom.” Luka said, line of gaze directed at some point behind you. “Hi, Juleka.”
“Wait, what?” You yelped, twisting around in an attempt to see. Luka lost hold of his firm grip on you, and you gave a cry of fear as you began to fall.
Thump.
First safety check: You weren’t dead.
Second safety check: You hadn’t even hit the wood of the deck.
You were safely cradled in Luka’s arms, eyes squeezed shut, hands nervously gripped his shoulders.
“Are you okay?” Luka asked. You gave a tight nod, and he let you gently to the ground, helping you stand up.
In a flash, you remembered that Luka’s family was still watching you. You gasped, whirling around and searching the deck.
It was…empty.
You turned back to Luka, a confused expression on your face, only to find him looking apologetic and sheepish.
“Ha…ha?” He said, scratching the back of his head. “Got you?”
“Hey!” You protested, punching him on the arm. It wasn’t intended to be gentle, but you also didn’t mean for it to hurt.
“Ow.” Luka winced, rubbing his arm. Oh, please. He was fine.
“That wasn’t funny.” You pouted, crossing your arms. “I could’ve fallen!”
“But you didn’t.” Luka pointed out. “I caught you.”
“Still.” You stuck your nose in the air, turning away. “I am not amused.”
“Okay, okay.” Luka sighed, raising his hands. “I’m sorry. I won’t do that again.”
“You’d better not.” You grumbled.
“Apology hug?” He offered, holding out his arms.
Dang it, why did he have to be so cute?
“I shall deign to accept.” You said primly, then giggled and tackled him with a hug.
“By the way.” You said, wrapping your arms around him. “Since when have you had the strength to lift someone up like that?”
“Um…” Luka stuttered. “I-I…”
“Have you been working out?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Luka flushed. His silence told you enough.
“Ha!” You giggled. “I never thought you’d do anything other than sit and play the guitar all day.”
“Hey!” Luka protested. “I do leave Liberty…sometimes…”
“Sometimes?” You pulled back, raising the other eyebrow, your face now forming an amused expression. “Boy, we gotta get you out more.”
“I get out enough.” Luka insisted.
“Right, and that’s why you look pale as a ghost.” You grinned teasingly, flicking a strand of his black bangs.
“I’m not that pale.” Luka muttered, crossing his arms and looking away.
“Yes you are.” You said. “Which is why tomorrow, after school is done, you’re coming to my house to hang out with out friends. No excuses.”
“Oh, alright.” Luka sighed. “If you insist.”
“I do.” You said, giving a grin. Luka smiled, meeting your gaze.
You both held eye contact for a little more than was normal. You glanced away, blushing.
“Well.” Luka mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “We should go below deck now…I told the others I was just coming up here to check on you. They’ll be wondering what’s taking me so long.”
Oh. He came up here for you, not to check on Marinette like you’d originally thought. Warmth bubbled through you, and you suddenly realized the canal didn’t feel quite so cold anymore.
“Yeah, we probably should go.” You said, though truth be told, you didn’t want to leave the deck and end this moment with Luka. This was the most fun you’d had all day.
“Hang on a second.” Luka closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He let his face fall completely still, settling into the calm expression it was always in.
Your heart ached for him. It was one thing to experience his mask dropping, but a totally different thing to see him putting it back on. Now that you’d seen him at his most emotional, you realized how emotionless his face usually looked. It was truly the perfect expression for a therapist—always there, always ready to listen, burying all personal feelings deep below the calm surface.
You reached out, giving Luka’s hand a squeeze. He gave you his signature soft, gentle smile—one that would usually be fake, carrying no weight…but this one had a genuine feel to it.
And you knew that the Luka behind the mask was smiling too.