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At only one in the afternoon, Yuki thought he’d be the first one to reach the dormitory. To his surprise, the hack who had been in-and-out for the past few days is already in their shared room when he arrived.
“I’m home.” Yuki muttered and removed his sweater. He changed clothes, from a school uniform to one of his casual dresses.
“Yuki.” Tenma acknowledged him without looking up from the floor. A large luggage occupied some space and he was trying to fit a lot of things in.
Yuki didn’t feel the need to comment. At this point, he is already used to the hack leaving for another prefecture or country for shoots or projects.
Or so he believes.
It didn’t explain the bothersome feeling that resurfaced when he glanced at Tenma’s side of the room. He couldn’t name it, but his guts say that something is wrong or out of place.
Is it because his luggage is unusually big? He knows the one he usually used, and this wasn’t it. Is it because he’s home when he was supposed to be either in school or work?
“You’re staring,” Tenma mentioned and stopped packing momentarily.
“It’s because you don’t know how to fold properly, you useless actor. Your clothes alone use unnecessary amount of space, you know.” Yuki came up with a quick excuse with a huff, but it’s not exactly made up. With a sigh, he set his emotions aside and sat on the floor next to him.
“Y-you really don’t have to...”
Tenma’s protests were ignored as Yuki began redoing the fold and the arrangement of his things to create more space.
“You never mentioned a new offer or a new shoot.” Yuki pursed his lips. Autumn Troupe is currently having a play so it would take a couple more plays before it’s Summer’s turn. Still, he knew the importance of rehearsals and getting ready ahead of time.
It’s not like Tenma is skipping, but he’s been out of it lately.
But if these shoots that Tenma had been attending would create more opportunities for him in the future and if it would help in the fulfillment of his dreams, then Yuki would support him.
Well, that’s because he has no choice. No other reason.
“That’s because I have no new offers or shoots.” Tenma answered nonchalantly while bringing out more things from his drawer.
Yuki stopped and raised his eyebrows. Surely, with all the traveling, he should know by now to pack light, perhaps make sure that there’s room for souvenirs?
“Then this is for...?”
“I’m leaving.” Tenma put down a handful of toiletries and other types of products that he had been using on his stay. He gazed at Yuki and calmly, he explained, “Standing up on stage for years had been a good experience and it helped me grow as an actor. It’s time to move on.”
Yuki clutched one of Tenma’s t-shirts, destroying the neat fold he just did. He attempted to stop himself from shaking but to no avail.
He wanted to support him— he said he’ll support him— but completely giving up on theater, and informing him only during the day he’s going to leave are a bit too much.
As if Yuki’s mind decided to travel back in time, his brain recalled that moment when Tenma was not around to lead them. Although Yuki managed to step up and keep it together, he remembered how much the group struggled.
“Oi, you’re going to tear my shirt?!” Tenma placed his hand over Yuki’s and carefully took the shirt. “Are you okay?”
Yuki wondered how can Tenma act so calm when his own heart had been mimicking the rhythm of a drum during parades.
Surely, this is a joke. A big joke. Perhaps a dream. He’s the leader of Summer Troupe: a troupe known for comedy plays. Maybe Tenma picked up ways to prank or tell jokes from his experience on their plays.
“Earth to Rurikawa?”
Rurikawa. The name he called him when they were just starting and when they did not know each other yet.
Even though he wanted to believe it wasn’t real, Yuki asked, “When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” Tenma answered immediately. “Igawa will be here.”
“And Director?”
“I already told her, along with Sakyo-san.”
“How long have you known?”
“I’ve been preparing for it for a month.”
“Idiot.” Yuki spat. He felt his chest tightening, paired with hands that wouldn’t stop shaking. It was getting difficult to calm down, to breathe.
But he had to keep it together. Like always. ...Like always.
“Do you really think the rest of us will let you? Summer Troupe will suffer once it loses its leader and who do you think would shoulder that burden?” Yuki wanted to scream but he gritted his teeth to hold his temper. Weakly, he threw a pile of clothes at his direction. “Show more responsibility, will you.”
Knowing when to restrain himself. Yuki hated it. He wanted to combust, to let out all these ugly emotions, to have his feelings known. But none of those came out.
He felt a sharp pain below his chest, just above his ribs. It felt as if a thousand needles are poking him, and there wasn’t any anesthesia spared.
“I will, I will. I’d help when it comes to looking for a new member.” Tenma frowned. “I can contact some of my co-stars. I’m sure one of them would be interested in theater.”
“That’s not the point!” Yuki snapped, his frustration slowly boiling into anger. “You’re our leader, dumbass. What type of leader would just abandon his troupe?!”
“About that...” Tenma looked up at Yuki and watched him as he sat down on his chair. “I was thinking of asking you to be the next troupe leader. I thought about it and you’d fit for the position better than anyone.”
“Give it to someone else. I can’t handle it along with the costumes.” Yuki felt like he’s losing his energy to argue when Tenma is acting this calm.
“You really are an idiot. Useless until the very end.” Yuki started to rant, spilling his thoughts without second thought. “You’re leaving? What a joke. Don’t think for a moment that you’re great enough to give up on theater.
You’re incompetent. You don’t even know how to communicate properly. You think you’re so high and mighty when in fact, we keep on saving your sorry ass.”
Yuki recalled that whenever something comes up, the troupe and even the entire company, assist Tenma with whatever situation he found himself in. Usually, during those times, he’d be happy to help albeit not finding it in himself to admit that. Now, he just felt annoyed.
You can’t leave, hack.
“It’s not like that and you know it! I’m planning to study overseas and I have to leave the company since I’ll be busy. This is for my future. It’s about time to take another step, don’t you think? It’s not like I won’t keep contact or help the troupe.”
Please don’t leave.
All this time, Yuki felt like Tenma was being selfish but thinking about it made him realize that maybe he’s the one who’s being selfish.
Can he stop him? Should he stop him?
“Will you be okay there?” Yuki’s tone mellowed down. “I mean, you don’t even know the difference between left and right.”
“Oi!” Tenma shot him a look and frowned. “I know that much!”
“But oh well, it’s not like I have to worry about your stupid ass since you’ll be with your manager and driver all the time. Maybe you’ll have a maid who’ll fix your things too.”
“I’ll be fine.” He placed his important things on a smaller bag and closed the zipper. His drawers are empty now and his side of the room is almost empty, saved for the few indoor bonsai trees that he keep.
“I’ll leave this jade bonsai with you.” Tenma stood you and placed his hand on his hip. “It was a gift when I was starting. My dad told me it’s for good luck. Well, you shouldn’t really rely on luck but you know. It helps.”
“What will I do with that.” Yuki said, but he still took the pot and placed it on his table, next to his sewing machine.
“Taking care of it is easy compared to the other ones. All you have to do is water it when the soil gets dry. There’s no specific time so you have to observe it,” Tenma explained. He walked towards his table and slightly bent so his face is on the same level with the tree.
After poking the soil with his finger, Tenma said, “It’s still fairly wet so the next time you’ll water it is approximately three days from now. Nothing too complicated, but make sure to water the entire soil. You can poke some holes on it so that the soil will absorb the water more.”
Yuki placed his head down on the table while absentmindedly staring at the bonsai tree. Now, he’s going to do the hack’s work above his own workload too? What a drag.
“I’ll call from time to time.” Tenma placed his hand on Yuki’s shoulder. “You can also call if something happens.”
“Disgusting.”
“I’ll be in France again so if you want something, you can list it down, as long as it’s not a whole notebook of items...”
“I’ll think about it later.”
“Yuki? Will you be okay?”
He wondered the same thing but right now, he had to keep it together. He had to show some support, like Tenma did with him.
However, what left his lips are the words, ”Tenma. Please don’t leave.”