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Can't Remember To Forget You
As she sat, half-frozen on the bench, Hecate was unaware of the tears that had been silently trailing down her cheeks for the past hour and a half.
She had held it together in Cackle's, but the minute she could, she had vanished into the ether. She thought about going to Pentangle's, about letting Pippa hold her while she tried to deal with the fact her entire world had imploded once more. She thought about running away, about never coming back. In the end though, there was only one place she had wanted to go.
More than that, there was only one place she had needed to be.
It was hard to believe that this was the same park she and Indigo had played together in thirty years ago. The two of them laughing and joking, spinning and dancing until they would eventually collapse onto the grass in fits of laughter.
Then it had all gone wrong.
It would be another thirty years before the two friends would be reunited. By that time, Indigo would not have aged a day, and the previously carefree Joy — still caged by the choices made in her youth — would simply be known as Hecate.
Hecate bit down hard on her lip as another wave of grief hit her. This was unbearable. It was like she had just lost Indigo all over again. Only this time, it was worse, because technically, she had never had her in the first place.
Yes …
All it had taken was one deliberately botched potion, a dose of Forgetting Powder, and it was like their paths had never crossed.
The deputy headmistress knew that she had done the right thing when she had chosen to send the girl back in time, but that knowledge didn't make the reality any easier to bear. It felt as though her heart was physically breaking in two.
'Here.'
There was a kind voice in her ear, and then she was mildly aware of someone gently pressing something into her hand.
'You look as though you could be doing with this a lot more than I can.'
As her long nails practically shredded the tissue she was now holding, Hecate could feel her rage grow at this person's absolute impertinence.
Why, oh why, could the world not just give her peace for two damn minutes?!
Magic crackled dangerously within her, and she dug her nails deep into her palms, desperately trying to keep the raw energy from exploding in a way that could potentially prove catastrophic. The potions teacher had always preached to her students the importance of not allowing their powers to be led by their emotions, but currently, she was rather struggling to follow her own advice. Hecate raised her head, about to not-so-politely tell this person exactly where they could go, having reached her absolute limit for the day, only to stop dead in her tracks the moment she looked up.
For there, standing in front of her, was Indigo Moon.
Her heart immediately sank.
It hadn't worked.
It hadn't bloody worked.
As their eyes locked, Hecate immediately braced herself for the onslaught of abuse that was about to come. Waited for Indigo's older self to change back, to yell at her. To scream blue murder that she had been let down by Hecate Hardbroom yet again. The woman before her though did no such thing.
For she had no idea who Hecate Hardbroom was …
The adult Indigo studied the dark-haired woman for a few moments, as though she were having some sense of déjà vu, before she shrugged, dumping her bags on the ground and taking up the seat next to her.
'Mind if I sit here?'
Not trusting her voice to answer, Hecate shook her head.
She didn't understand.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
She didn't even know if this was happening.
Maybe this latest episode of trauma had finally pushed her over the edge? Maybe this was where life had decided that she was set to lose her mind alongside everything else?
Indigo, meanwhile, remained completely oblivious to the reasons of such apparent turmoil. As the Moon watched another tear trail helplessly down the pale cheeks though, she again tried offering the crying woman a tissue.
'Whenever I get sad, I always try to think of three things that make me happy. Well, that or I just eat my own bodyweight in ice-cream.' Indigo winked. 'I swear that stuff solves everything!'
'Quite,' Hecate agreed quietly, finally managing to find her voice from somewhere.
A long forgotten memory surfaced in her mind of two girls racing towards the ice cream van, the giggly pair eager to spend the last of the birthday money Joy's granny had gifted her. She immediately quashed it. Hecate still didn't understand what was currently happening, and a large part of her was too afraid to even try to wrap her head around it. 'Although, I must admit, it has been years since I last had any.'
The Moon's eyes widened in mock-horror. 'How is that even possible? Unless you just got out of prison or something like that?'
Something like that.
'Not exactly.'
Though mysteriously brief, the answer seemed to satisfy Indigo, and she did not attempt to push the subject any further. A strangely comfortable silence settled between the two women as they sat. Every now and again, they would steal the odd glance when they thought the other was not looking.
'Which one is yours then?'
'I beg your pardon?'
Indigo jerked her head slightly, indicating to the nearby spot where a small group of children were gathering to play.
'Oh,' Hecate's eyes widened in understanding. 'No. I-I do not have any children of my own.' She turned her attentions back to the present Indigo, hoping in some small way that the younger Indigo might hear her plea. Could know the words she had never got the chance to say. 'I-I came close to adopting once.' She stopped, swallowed the burning hot lump in her throat. 'It did not work out.'
'I'm sorry.'
'So am I.' A small smile ghosted across Hecate's face, before her sadness returned in full. 'It is ... for the best though.'
There was something so achingly familiar about the woman who sat next to her.
It was almost as if they had met before ...
Indigo, however, knew that to be impossible.
With the old-fashioned hairstyle and long black dress, she was fairly certain that she would remember meeting someone like her. Even with the eye make-up currently running down her cheeks, it was pretty clear that this woman — whoever she happened to be — was very important.
Powerful.
'I'm sorry, this is probably going to sound really daft, but do-'
The sentence was cut short as a sudden shriek filled the air.
'MUM? LOOK AT ME! MUM? MUM? MUM! YOU STILL AREN'T LOOKING!'
Flashing the mysterious woman an apologetic smile, Indigo turned her attention to the source of all the commotion. Against her better judgement, Hecate followed her gaze.
It was like she looking straight at a mini Indigo.
She watched as the child —petite and pretty — boldly made her way towards the climbing frame. Satisfied that she now had her mother's full attention, the child proceeded to show off her latest party trick.
While the obviously proud parent cheered her offspring on, showering her with copious woops and rounds of applause, Hecate tried get her already fractured nerves around this latest development.
A daughter.
Indigo had a little girl.
A little girl that — in another lifetime, perhaps? — could well have been her granddaughter ...
'What is she called?'
'Azura — most of her friends and family tend to call her ZuZu though.' Indigo pulled a slight face; fiddling with the fraying ends of the woven bracelet around her wrist. 'I actually really wanted to call her Joy, but I lost the coin toss.'
The use of her own first name threw Hecate completely off balance. Hope dared to flicker within her, only to immediately extinguish. Indigo wasn't talking about her.
Of course she wasn't.
'Joy?'
There was a nod. 'Don't ask me why though because I honestly couldn't tell you. It just sort of ... came to me one night not long before ZuZu was born. Like a whisper in my ear. Almost as if it was magic or something.'
'Magic?' Hecate repeated faintly in utter disbelief. The deputy headmistress felt quite sure she was going to pass out any moment now.
Indigo laughed. 'You may well mock, but Mum always taught me that if you believe in something enough, then that makes it real. I've taught Azura that same philosophy. Although, she would live in those Potter books if she could. I swear that girl would switch Chemistry for Potions class in a heartbeat!'
Hecate wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh, cry or vomit.
Realising she had gone somewhat off tangent, Indigo quickly reeled herself back in. God only knows what this poor woman made of her and her mad rambling!
'Anyway, it's all good. We've agreed that I get to name the next one, so I'll hopefully have my little Joy yet.' She tenderly patted her stomach, and it was then that Hecate noticed the very slight hint of a bump that was beginning to show.
'My congratulations to you both.'
The expectant mother beamed. 'At least now I have an excuse to be eating my bodyweight in Ben And Jerry's!'
Hecate had absolutely no idea what this Ben (or Jerry, for that matter) had to do with anything, but she felt compelled to at least say something in response.
'Indeed.'
Reaching into her pocket for her smartphone, Indigo swore under her breath as she clocked the time. She called over to her daughter, telling her to start saying her goodbyes to Cate as they really had to get going soon.
Hecate watched in silence as the mother of two quickly gathered up her belongings. She seemed happy. Truly happy. This Indigo had had her childhood, had her mother. And now, she had her own daughter. A miniature Indigo. Plus, another baby was on the way.
Up until very recently, Hecate Hardbroom had always believed that Mildred Hubble had set Indigo free the day she inadvertently freed her from her prison of stone. In actual fact though, the one to set Indigo free had been herself all along.
She had been able to set her friend free, by finally letting her go.
'Right,' Indigo began, wondering why on earth her body seemed so reluctant to leave this woman behind. 'We best be heading home now, but it was lovely to meet you. And, hey, whatever has you this upset, I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as you think.'
Hecate smiled tearily. You know, I think you might be right.'
'See, I told you so! Oh, I'm Indigo, by the way. Indigo Moon. Sorry, I don't think I caught your name?'
Hecate opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She looked at the outstretched hand, plainly awaiting her introduction, and then shook her head almost imperceptibly. 'It is of no importance.'
'Okay. Well, goodbye then. Come on, ZuZu.'
The voices grew distant as they moved further away, but the teacher's super-attuned hearing skills still caught the tail end of their conversation.
"Tell you what, you can help me blow out the candles!"
"What are you going to wish for, Mum?"
"I don't need to make a wish, Hon. I've already got everything I ever wanted."
A single tear splashed down Hecate's cheek, but this one was no longer purely from her sadness. Wiping it away, she raised her hand, ready to transfer herself back to Cackle's Academy.
Her home.
As her physical form faded into nothingness, her voice was no more than a whisper lost in the wind.
'Happy Birthday, Indigo Moon.'