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Steve frowned and glared at the board at the front of the classroom, not really paying attention to what Coach Dad was saying. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eli and Toby muttering to each other. Every once and awhile he would catch them saying his or Krel's name. He knew what they had to be talking about, and he hated that he didn't know exactly what they were saying.
It had been almost a week since Steve had auditioned for their movie, and he still hadn't been told whether he had made it or not. Steve knew that it had been a long shot for him to audition for the role that had basically been made for Krel, but he'd felt good about his audition anyways. Steve wasn't arrogant enough to think that he was a shoe-in for the role, but he thought that he at least had a chance. If they weren't even considering him, they would have let him know by now.
Steve was so distracted by trying to listen in on Eli and Toby's conversation that he barely noticed when the bell rang. He only realized that class was over when he saw his classmates all filing out. Steve groaned and threw his notebook, which he hadn't even opened during class, into his bag. Steve stormed out, ignoring Coach Dad calling out to him on his way out. Steve already felt guilty for acting coldly towards Coach Dad, but he'd make it up to him later. He was tense, really irritated, and a little nervous about what decision Eli and Toby would come to, and he knew that if Coach Dad tried to have a heart-to-heart with him that he would freak out and make things between them even worse.
Steve didn't want to make Coach dad feel bad, but it would be a lot easier to make up with him for ignoring him in school than it would be to apologize after having a full on fight.
As Steve entered the hallway he saw Eli and Toby standing just outside the door. They weren't muttering to each other anymore, and they both looked at Steve as he came out. Steve swallowed and straightened. They had come to a decision. It was what he had wanted, but now Steve wanted to put off the news for as long as he could. He didn't want to know anymore, except he really did.
"What's up, Buttsnacks?" Steve crossed his arms and tried to look casual. Toby's expression was completely neutral. He had that dumb, smug, director look on his face. He thought it made him look professional, Steve thought it made him look more punchable. Eli looked almost as nervous as Steve felt, which made him even more nervous about what they were going to say. Steve tried to tell himself that Eli could just be feeling bad about recasting Krel, but even in his own head it wasn't very convincing.
"Mr. Palchuk," Toby began. "We've consulted with each other, and we've decided to stick with our original casting."
It took a moment for Steve to register what he had heard, and an even longer moment for him to take it in. "So...I didn't get it?" Steve hated, absolutely hated how his voice cracked at the end. It was just an amateur movie, and he'd known going into the audition that it would be a long shot. Why was he getting so choked up about this? And why did he have to be getting choked up in the middle of the hallway where everybody could see him? It was pathetic.
"Steve," Eli said quietly. Steve stiffened and steeled his expression. He didn't want Eli's pity or sympathy or anything like that. He was fine.
"Don't get me wrong, Steve, your audition was amazing." Toby said sincerely. "I was shocked, really, I wasn't expecting this kind of talent from you." Steve didn't know whether to feel proud of what he was being told, or annoyed.
"If I'm that good, why didn't I get it?" Steve asked stiffly.
"It's not you," Toby insisted, but Steve didn't believe him. Who else's fault would it be? Either he was good enough, or he wasn't, and clearly he wasn't. "You've got talent, but so does Krel. We've just decided to go in another direction." Steve huffed. He was getting even more upset, and he hated it. He hadn't even cared that much about the stupid movie anyways.
"Did I at least get any part of your movie?" Steve asked, trying his best to keep his tone neutral. He must not have done as well as he'd thought, because Toby's expression finally slipped out of his smug, arrogant, director expression. He looked slightly embarrassed and really apologetic. It was the kind of expression that Steve was used to seeing from Toby.
"We talked about that, but, well, we're already really behind schedule with shooting," Toby said. "The actors we already have are all such divas. Chompsky refuses to take direction, Luug just does what he wants. Krel cooperates when he can, but he's also got a really busy schedule that we have to work around, and it's just…" Toby sighed. "I just don't think we can afford to bring in any more problematic actors."
Steve scowled. So he wasn't going to be in their little movie because Toby thought it would be a good idea to work with a creep and two aliens ...no, Akiridions, Aja didn't like when they were referred to as aliens. Steve didn't exactly have anything against Krel, but Toby was right, he was busy doing Akiridion stuff. He couldn't exactly focus on making a movie right now. But Luug was a dog! Of course he wasn't cooperating.
Steve wanted to argue that he wasn't going to be a problematic actor, but there was no way that Toby would believe him. Toby barely believed that he wasn't really a bully anymore, and Steve knew that he was still struggling to shake some of his old, crueler habits. So maybe Toby's judgement was fair enough, but that didn't mean that Steve had to be happy with his conclusion.
"Yeah, alright," Steve said. He'd been wanting to hear from Eli and Toby for days now, but now he didn't want to hear anything else. He was done.
Eli seemed to see not just how upset Steve was, but how hard he was trying to hide it. "So, uh, Steve, me and Toby were planning on meeting with Krel during lunch to talk about DJ Kleb. Instead of hanging out at lunch, since it's Friday why don't I come over to your place for the weekend? Or you can come to my place,"
"Come over whenever you want," Steve said, feeling extremely grateful to Eli. The two of them had been having lunch together at school lately. Sometimes Toby, Krel, or Aja would join them, but there were times when it was just the two of them. Steve knew that Eli liked their lunches as much as he did, but he was willing to cancel it today because he could tell that Steve wasn't quite up for it. Eli really was a great friend, being so willing to do things he didn't want to do just because Steve wanted it.
Eli gave him a small smile. "I'll see you tonight then." Eli grabbed Toby's arm and pulled him towards the cafeteria. Steve could tell that Toby seemed to want to say something else, but Eli didn't give him the chance, which Steve appreciated. If he didn't want to talk to Eli about how he felt right now, he definitely didn't want to talk to Toby.
As Eli and Toby walked out of sight, Steve's eyes began to itch and get watery. The frustrating and annoying painful feeling in his chest that he'd been trying so hard to push down grew in strength. Against his will Steve felt his face screw up like he was about to start crying. This was so stupid. Eli and Toby may not be here, but there were still kids in the hallway, and a couple of them were starting to stare at him. He didn't want to deal with their judgement.
Since Steve could no longer hold back his emotions, he had to at least get somewhere where his peers couldn't see him completely lose it.
Steve retreated back into the classroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He turned and leaned his back against the door. He pushed his palms against his eyes to try to stop his traitorous tears from falling. It didn't do much good.
"...Steve?" Coach Dad asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Steve said. He sounded just as tired as he felt.
Coach Dad was quiet for a moment. "Did you hear back about the movie?" Steve nodded.
"I didn't…" He coughed slightly, just barely managing to make it sound like it wasn't a sob. "I didn't get it,"
Coach Dad sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. Steve couldn't help but lean forward and rest his head against the older man's shoulder. Coach Dad was caught off guard for a moment, but he soon put his hand on Steve's back. They weren't exactly hugging anything out, but they were definitely closer than Steve would normally feel comfortable with. He wasn't a touchy-feely person, but at that moment he didn't care. He felt lousy, and he wanted someone to just acknowledge that without trying to make him feel better. He wanted to be allowed to feel bad about this.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, with Steve refusing to admit that he was crying, and Coach Dad not acknowledging the couple of sobs that Steve couldn't keep in. Finally Steve felt calm enough to reluctantly pull away.
"I just...I thought I had it," Steve rubbed his eyes dry. "I don't even get why I'm getting so upset. I wasn't planning on doing the movie at all, but Eli insisted I audition."
"If Pepperjack hadn't said anything, I probably would have," Coach Dad said. "I know you love acting, and you're really good at it."
"I'm not that good," Steve frowned. "And I wouldn't say I love it." His only acting experience was being Lake's understudy in Romeo and Juliet, and playing Mercutio when he wasn't needed as Romeo. Considering Mercutio dies halfway through the show, Steve didn't get to do all that much in the show.
"Are you nuts, Palchuk?" Coach Dad looked at him like he was crazy. "I saw you in that show of yours, and I'm telling you, you stole the show in every scene you were in." You had your mother convinced that you and Lake were best friends."
Steve laughed and shook his head. "No way."
"I'm serious," Coach Dad grinned. He looked much more comfortable now that Steve had loosened up a little bit. "You don't talk to your mother about school, so she didn't know about your ridiculous rivalry with Lake. After the show she asked me if your friend was mad at you for something, because she could see some tension aimed at you coming from Lake." Coach Dad sounded almost ready to begin laughing himself. While Steve may not necessarily hate Lake anymore, he still didn't think they were necessarily friends. During the school play though, they'd definitely hated each other. Steve just guessed that he'd been able to hide those feelings better than Jim had.
"And don't think I missed how excited you were when you were told that you'd been moved up from understudy to Romeo," Coach Dad said. "Or how disappointed you were after your accident when you were put back at understudy." Steve knew that he had more fun being on stage, pretending to be someone else, than he ever thought he would, but he hadn't thought it was that obvious.
And though Steve hadn't originally been planning on auditioning for Eli and Toby's movie, he'd still been so disappointed when he didn't get the part. Steve wasn't quite ready to broadcast to the world how much he liked acting, but he was willing to admit it to himself.
Strangely enough, this only made Steve feel worse. He'd found something he really liked to do, but he was also faced with rejection right away. It hurt, and it didn't make him all that eager to put himself out there again. But he had to if he wanted another chance to do this kinda thing.
It sucked...it really, really sucked. And now Steve was feeling lousy all over again. He needed to stop thinking about this stupid movie. It was the whole reason why he hadn't wanted to join Eli for lunch today...and because he was an emotional disaster, but he was trying to ignore that part.
"Hey, can Eli spend the weekend?" Steve asked. He knew he didn't actually have to ask. His mom was ecstatic that he had a friend who seemed to be such a good influence on him, and she'd told both of them that Eli was welcome over whenever. Steve knew he could just mention it in passing to his mom five minutes before Eli came over, and she'd be just fine with it. The only reason why Steve asked was because Coach Dad always looked so happy about it, for reasons that Steve didn't entirely understand. The closest he could guess, Coach Dad just really liked when Steve asked his permission for things because it made him feel like he really was his dad, which, at this point, he might as well be.
"I'm sure your mom will be happy to see Pepperjack," Coach Dad said. "Just try not to do any monster hunting this time."
"It's called Creepslaying, Coach," Steve said, not for the first time. He was sure that his mom and Coach Dad didn't actually know what he and Eli did as Creepslayerz, but they definitely knew that when they went out, they came home really late and a little scratched up. Steve's mom had told him if it happened again, he'd be grounded until he graduated from High School. "Don't worry. We'll probably just play video games or something." They usually watched movies during their sleepovers, but Steve wasn't really in the mood for that.
Maybe Steve would feel more up to it tonight, but he wasn't betting on it. At that moment, he barely felt up to hanging out with Eli at all, or anybody else for that matter. Steve had retreated into Coach Dad's classroom because it had been a convenient escape for him to avoid crying in front of his classmates. He wasn't crying anymore, but he still didn't want to see anyone else.
"Can I just stay in here for lunch?" Steve asked. Coach Dad frowned slightly in concern, but he didn't say no.
"Whatever you need, Palchuk," Coach Dad said. "I didn't get around to packing my own lunch today, and I won't be able to be very good company, because I have to figure out a lesson plan for a class I'm substituting for tomorrow." Coach Dad may not know a lot about most school subjects, but he took his job as a teacher seriously...most of the time.
"That's fine," Steve said. He wasn't really feeling hungry or up to talking anyways.
"I'll tell you what though," Coach Dad said. "After school we'll go pick up some burgers or something on the way home." It would be a little late for lunch, and they'd probably be scolded for it by Steve's mom when they got home, but it still sounded like a great plan to Steve.
"Sure," Steve smiled slightly. "...Thanks." He wasn't just saying it for the burgers, or for Coach Dad letting him stay in here, even though students technically weren't allowed to be anywhere but the courtyard or the cafeteria during lunch. Steve was just grateful for everything, and he was sure that Coach Dad probably knew it, even if Steve didn't say it.