Work Text:
“Eva! I've been looking for you! Come dance with me!”
With the music vibrating through the speakers in club Maharani it was hard to think. As the lights flashed the sea of people moved to the beat as if possessed.
"No, thank you!" Her quiet protest was almost lost to the thumping bass of the music.
"Just one song?" Annabelle's expression was hopeful. But, also careful not to push.
She had been on her way out of the club when Annabelle intercepted her. Eva wanted to be seen by her (or she wouldn't be seen at all) but she hadn't expected to be diverted to the dance floor. Truthfully, this wasn't the worst idea, especially if it made her new partner happy.
"One dance." She nodded to affirm her agreement.
"Yes! Thank you! Thank you!" Annabelle's face lit up with excitement, and she cheered triumphantly. She took her by the hand.
Eva was suddenly very aware of Annabelle's fingers. She was aware of how muscular Annabelle’s arms and shoulders were as she was led into the swarm of moving bodies.
This hadn’t been her thing for some time. Nor was the music to her taste. As she was led, imagery flooded her mind of another dance floor. She was another person then. A lifetime long ago. Back then, another woman held her hand. She could almost hear her voice as the memory came to her.
Evangeline! One more dance?! One more?! It had been whispered hotly against her ear.
Eva had willingly given in then, too. Pretty girls were always her… she wouldn’t say weakness. No, but they were a soft spot for sure.
She shook off the memory returning to the present. The next thing she knew she was in the middle of the bustling dance floor. Annabelle’s arm wound around her waist jerking her closer. This startled her. She realized that it was because a man behind them had nearly elbowed her head.
“Hey watch it, asshole!” Annabelle's voice boomed over the crowd. She didn't need to call upon Kindred powers to make herself seem threatening. Eva ducked her head and hid her smirk with her knuckles.
“Try and stay close to me!” The protective body language Annabelle displayed made her feel secure.
“Okay,” Eva nodded. Hopefully, she could remain in the present. She didn't need to see another ghost of the past tonight. Even now, all these years later she was still haunted. Most of the time she’d rather live inside her head. Yet, somehow, unlife still gave her opportunities to live beyond her daydreams.
As the music switched to something less jarring she told herself that she could do this. Watching Annabelle certainly helped. Her dance partner was bubbling over with energy, moving to the music as if that was her only purpose. Eva did her best to mimic the other girl’s movements, letting her hips sway with the music. Her eyes closed. She wished her body felt less stiff. She wished that it moved like it should have if she really were a twenty-something-year-old girl.
The room started to invade her senses. The spike of adrenaline in the air sent the heartbeats of the living around them racing.
It was intoxicating.
Insolent child, drink from her! She’s already mine. I will have my fill.
She wasn’t that hungry. But, regardless of that, the beast attempted to goad her into acting on her bestial impulses. In a fleeting thought, she considered it. After all, it was the ultimate form of intimacy for Kindred. Thinking about it, she could taste the blood of her lovers on her tongue. A little taste wouldn’t hurt anyone, and Annabelle would be willing.
Oh, screw you!
Eva growled when she realized her thoughts were not her own. How dare it make her think that way. The beast wasn’t going to win. She’d never permit that to happen. Annabelle didn’t belong to anyone. She wouldn’t let it get its way. Her beast rumbled its discontent from within. It hadn’t been long since she’d eaten, this was uncalled-for.
Annabelle stopped moving. She was rubbing Eva’s shoulder and cupped her cheek. There was worry in her actions, she was trying to get her attention. Eva hadn’t meant to freeze in place. She'd let the beast distract her.
Snapping out of it, this time it was entirely her choice to invade Annabelle’s personal space. Pressing herself against her they moved as one. She tried to focus on what they were doing, holding Annabelle close. Her partner's fingers dug into her hips. This was turning into a pleasurable distraction. She could have fun.
Unfortunately, Eva's desire to be in Annabelle's arms was short-lived. The number of people around them started to increase. It felt like they were closing in around them.
This was too much.
“Take me out of here?” Eva tried to speak against Annabelle’s ear, and tightly squeezed her hand. It seemed to get the message across that something was wrong. Fortunately, the music paused at the right moment.
“Go? Go please?”
"Let's get you out of here."
Annabelle nodded and led her away. Taking a shortcut through the nearest secret passageway; she was grateful that when they slipped between the walls the music was muffled. She’d still felt it in her chest as if her heart was beating. Eva looked down at their hands again. Propelling herself forward, she shuffled ahead toward the promise of safety. She was seldom as calm as her outward appearance would lead others to believe.
When she entered the room Eva was blinded by her consuming thoughts telling her she had to run . She had to go, get away from here before it’s too late. Distracted, she managed to bump into the desk. That was odd. She hadn’t remembered there being a desk in this room. Eva put both hands on the back of the computer chair, which was also a new addition.
The desk itself was cluttered with papers and a laptop. There was a picture frame with two smiling people hanging on either side of Annabelle. They had been her partners in life. She felt sad for them that they didn't get to be together anymore. The group looked very happy together. A pang of guilt for being the one who got to be with Annabelle twisted a knot in her stomach. Eva closed her eyes in an attempt to center herself. Looking back up she noticed that the walls were now painted a deep purple colour. They were also covered in posters.
“Hey, are you okay?” Annabelle reached out to put a hand on Eva’s arm.
Eva hadn’t meant to jump away from her grasp, but against her will, she was startled. She pulled her arm away and sank down onto the floor next to the desk. Eva held onto her knees, her head falling onto them. She made herself as tiny as she possibly could while leaning back against the wall.
“Oh, oh I’m so sorry! I should have asked. Hey, you’re okay.” Annabelle’s voice was soft. She knelt down beside her careful not to block the way so Eva wouldn’t feel trapped.
“It’s not, not your fault.” Her voice was as shaky as the rest of her felt. Quiet crimson tears slid down pale cheeks.
“We’re safe in my room, Eva. It’s just me and you now. We’re in the Maharani, but no one can get in here unless there’s an emergency.”
Eva looked away in shame for her extreme overreactions. “Only us.” She mumbled. What the hell was wrong with her? She had to get a grip. Wiping away messy, bloody tears were something she was accustomed to so she wasn't bothered by it. Her red top hid it pretty well.
“That’s right, it’s only the two of us,” Annabelle reassured her. “Can I get you anything? Can I touch you?”
“Too many, too many people… they closed in on us.” Eva bit her lip, one of her fangs digging in a little too sharply, but hadn’t broken skin. It had been some time since her last breakdown. While she remained turned away she put her hand out for Annabelle to take.
“It’s okay, I understand.” Taking her hand Annabelle squeezed it. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”
"It was, it was fun but I… I'm sorry." She managed.
Why was it so hard to form words? She hated being like this, she should be in control of herself. While her torment had ended long ago, Eva still had to remind herself that punishment for not being in control would no longer come. She didn't have to do it to herself.
“It was fun! It’s cool. I'm not upset with you, or disappointed."
It was clear that Annabelle knew a great deal about anxiety and trauma. Her choice of words was exactly what she needed to hear.
"Is there anything you need?” She'd offered again. Annabelle's thumb slipped between their hands slowly stroking her palm in circles.
”To be close.” Eva let her hand slide along Annabelle’s shoulder, then around her neck. She crawled towards her girlfriend and was pulled close.
“You’re okay, Eva. I’m very okay with being close.” Annabelle's voice was warm against her ear. “I’m going to help you up now okay?”
“Yes, help up.” Annabelle was being incredible right now. It made her feel less ashamed. “I had hoped.” Her voice was small, but a little less shaky. Annabelle got her to her feet as if she weighed nothing at all. Her fists balled in the material of Annabelle’s top in fear of letting her go that she may vanish.
“Just focus on me, okay? We're standing in my room, alone.” Annabelle's arms wound around her back to steady her in place. “Is this good?” Annabelle leaned back against the wall.
"Your room. Alone. Good. ” Her hand trailed along the nape of Annabelle's neck. She rested their foreheads together.
"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Annabelle’s voice was soothing. She stroked her cheek. “Would it be okay if I - ”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t let me finish.” As both of them laughed her tension eased.
“Permission granted.” Eva nodded with a smile.
When their lips met it was more confident than the hesitant kisses they previously shared the first night Annabelle spent with her. It was more familiar now. She met it tenderly, biting back a moan. As they kissed, every annoying and anxious thing reverberating through her mind came to a halt. There was only this, only them. She was safe to indulge at the moment. To savour the absence of her anxious thoughts in the safety Annabelle provided.
“Oh, wow, ” Annabelle laughed when they split apart.
“So much wow!” Eva nodded her agreement, a hazy grin on her lips.
“Like the meme?”
“Mhm. I may be old, but I’m no out of touch Voomer!"
“Oh my god! I keep forgetting You’re actually way older than me!” Annabelle’s laughter filled the room.
"That’s true yes, very old! I'm practically dust!"
"Eva!" She saw fear suddenly flash in Annabelle's eyes. "No dust jokes!"
"Oh! Oh, no! I'm sorry. I had meant old and dusty." She covered her mouth embarrassed at the implication. She pulled Annabelle's hand to her lips kissing her knuckles.
So, maybe she hadn't thought that one through. It was then that she realized how much Annabelle truly cared for her.
"Forgive me?" She bit her lip.
"Of course I forgive you! You know, you’re the hottest Granny I’ve ever met!” Annabelle attempted to lighten the mood.
Eva let out a low hiss at the joke, showing her fangs in the process. “For this disrespect, I’m going to bite you!” Her voice was intentionally peppered with a cheesy pop culture vampire accent. Her hissing dissolved into laughter as she dropped her head to Annabelle’s shoulder hugging her tightly.
“God, I wish you would bite me!” Annabelle’s laughter was infectious. She could swear it made her heart flutter.
"Maybe I will!” Eva teased. It felt freeing to be silly. “Just a little.”
“And, I’m totally not afraid of you! Wait, so, like did you protest with one of the original "radical" feminist groups when you were in New York?”
“Fear is not the emotion I was evoking… " The flirty conversation quickly changed pace. She was not surprised. She'd been waiting for Annabelle to ask more about her past.
"I wasn’t a part of the groups that protested something big like the Miss America pageant. Sadly, I wasn’t present for anything as iconic as the freedom trash can. It was all over the newspapers. I did attend a few smaller protests."
With Annabelle's reassuring reactions toward her anxiety, she felt that she could share personal things about herself. Being open was difficult, but she felt safe. She admired the firm grasp on her Humanity that Annabelle had.
"Freedom Trash Can! That's been cited as the starting point of radical feminism! Did you get to see it? I mean on t.v and stuff?"
"Yes in the newspapers. As I'm sure you know, it began with protesting the Vietnam War before it, it evolved from there. It was an interesting time to be alive, to say the least. But, I was young and too naive… ”
"So, you were Embraced?" Annabelle's genuine interest made it easier for her to talk about all of this.
"Woodstock. I was twenty-two. Flower Power was all the rage. In those days people were encouraged to take LSD. It was basically free if you knew the right people."
"So, You knew the right people, then?"
"Yes. It was a non-stop party, but not nearly the romanticized version popular culture leads one to believe. Then, I was Embraced. But, that was because I was in love… " Eva trailed off.
"Hey, shit, sorry! That’s completely my bad! I should have asked first if we could talk about it. You don't have to continue."
"Thank you for respecting my boundaries. But, I wanted to share it."
"Are you sure? I really didn't mean to pry."
"People who are important to me, get to know me."
“You’re important to me, too! New topic?”
“New topic." Eva kissed Annabelle's cheek. "I like what you’ve done with your room.” Eva left the safety of Annabelle's reach to wander over to look at the bookshelf.
“Thanks. It’s not exactly home, but it’s what I have. It had to be comfortable. Uh, I don't know if I have any books that would be interesting to you.”
"I do have other interests than the occult, Annabelle."
"Like what?"
"Like you, silly!" Eva casually flirts. Sometimes, she gets it right. She picks up a paperback book. She was sure it was Manga. The cover depicts a young girl.
“Chibi Vampire? What’s this about?”
“Oh!” Annabelle stands behind her, putting an arm around her like a safety belt, then explains. “You’re gonna love this! Karin is this little girl who's from a family of Vampires. Except, she’s nearly normal! She goes out in the sun, goes to school! She bites people and gives them blood!”
“A backwards Vampire?” Eva flipped it open to examine the art.
“A fucking backwards Vampire!” Annabelle laughs. “You can take it to read.”
“Thank you. You said I wouldn’t find anything interesting!"
“Yeah, sorry! I was wrong about that!"
“I was teasing you. How many of these are there?”
“Hm. Fourteen I think? It’s also an anime series! I have all of these books somewhere. I only grabbed a few of them to bring here.”
“Oh! We’re watching it! This is going to be so much fun!” Eva twisted to the side, so she could plant a kiss on Annabelle's jaw.
“We are definitely watching it! You’re so cute when excited!” It wasn’t something that happened often.
Eva ducked her head. "Enough of that!" Eva waved her off and slipped out of her arms. She went to sit on the bed and look through the book.
"You want me to stop saying nice things about you? No way! That’s not happening!"
Annabelle joined her. Keeping her promise, she sat as close as possible. She put an arm between Eva's back and the pillows behind them. Leaning in, Annabelle nuzzled her nose into Eva’s neck.
“Wait, Belle. Not there.” Eva set the book aside. She reached up and held her cheek.
“Not here. I’ll remember,” Annabelle paused. “Where?”
“Higher.”
Instead of the spot low on her neck, Annabelle moved her mouth near the pulse point behind Eva’s ear. She kissed her there. At least, where her pulse should have been.
“Mm, that’s better.” Eva carded her fingers through Annabelle’s hair. “Would you lay down with me?”
“Yes.”
Shifting back against the pillows she leads Annabelle with her. The pressure of her full body weight against her own is what she's been craving all night. Annabelle feathers a kiss along her jaw. Her arms wrap tightly around the other woman.
"Thank you for being my saviour tonight. You’re incredible." Eva presses her lips to Annabelle’s forehead.
"Of course. We take care of each other, it’s what we do! I totally get what you were going through. You know I nearly told you to breathe!”
“Sometimes, I wish I could still breathe!” Eva laughed. “I am grateful for your patience and help." Eva begins to trace her fingers over the features of Annabelle's face.
"I'll be as close as you need me to be. All you have to do is ask. If you can’t ask, then we’ll come up with another way of letting me know what you need."
"Oh my! You're going to make me fall, Bells," Eva whispers near her lips then kisses her deeply.
Annabelle's response is to carefully cradle her head, meeting her kiss with the kind of passion that feels a lot like the start of something profound. Something endless. If she has some semblance of a soul left, enough of this kissing might very well save it. To her delight, she even remains tethered to the present moment.
Eva knew that Annabelle was very serious about all of her partners. She loved them in different ways, but what they meant to her was the same. Relationships were not something she took lightly. She gave each of them her all. They may have only been together for a short time, but Eva knew she was important to her, too. She was sure Annabelle would do anything for her.
"I think, I think I'm going to fall too, baby. Uh, is that okay? Calling you, baby?"
"Hm, I think so."
“I want you to know I really love being with you. I don’t want you to think this is because I’m bored or something… ” Annabelle struggled with her own anxiety. But, she knew talking to her partners about her fears and worries helped.
“I’m not worried about that. I don’t feel any negative vibes or I wouldn’t be in bed with you. But, I’ll ask you to be careful with that word.”
“But, I can love things about you and not be in love yet!” Annabelle pouted.
“That’s true, but… ” Eva became quiet.
“I can see that it bothers you, I can be careful. How about this? I’ll save it for you if you decide you want it. And, if you don't, I still won't be upset.”
Looking up at the ceiling, Eva didn’t answer. She knew the problem was that she did. She wanted it now. With Annabelle. With Jasper. Their unlives were chaotic and dangerous. They might not wake up the next night. Or worse, they could be taken from her. She couldn’t bear to have anyone else taken from her. Surviving it again felt impossible. It felt like there was no turning back. It felt like there was no way to keep her feelings for them from delving deeper. But, she could still pretend to be wise about it.
“Hey, are you okay?” Annabelle asked, squeezing her elbow.
“Yes. Sorry. I’m fine. I think that’s a very good idea, to save it for me. I must admit that I'm a little bit scared.”
"I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, Eva. If I accidentally hurt you, I'd hope that you'd feel like you could talk to me about it." Annabelle took Eva's hand and held it to her chest.
"No, I know that, Belle. If there was anything I would bring it up. I meant that I don't want to put you in danger because of me."
"I understand your fear, Eva. I hear you on this. But, our entire unlives are dangerous. You’re not putting me in any more danger then I wouldn’t already be put in now that this is what I am. I'm freakishly fucking strong! I flicked a truck across a parking lot like it was a paper airplane! And, I tossed X right at Chaz! It was like bowling!"
"Bowling for Toreadors!" Eva covered her face to hide her giggle at the imagery of Annabelle's awesome feats of strength. She was sorry to have missed both displays of Brujah brawn.
“That would be a kick-ass band name!” Annabelle was a little too excited about the idea. “I bowled a strike!! I think I can handle myself pretty well!”
"Annabelle, while that might be so, I'll remind you that your impressive strength doesn't make you invincible! There are more powerful things in the night than you or I can handle. I can only ward you against so much."
"I know I promised you that I wouldn't be reckless. I'm gonna try hard to stick to it. But, for the record, I also punched a Werewolf!"
Eva opened her mouth to say something, but Annabelle smothered her protest with a kiss. She didn’t mind this at all, when they broke apart she was giggling again.
"Annabelle! This topic of conversation is very serious!"
"Eva, I hear you, I do. I know everything is crazy, but we can't go through this unlife living in fear! I already know that I would risk my life for you in an instant.
"I’ll protect you too, the best I can.” Eva caught Annabelle’s gaze. She didn’t want to let fear well up in the back of her throat.
“And, giving you my heart isn't something I find scary."
Annabelle sounded so sure of herself by saying that, it was hard to argue against.
“You're really something you know?" She shook her head, a smile playing on her lips. "My Belle. How do you always know the right things to say?"
"I dunno, but I've been told that a lot!" Annabelle's laugh made her feel warm.
"I bet you have! Annabelle, how about you start kissing me before I say too much?" Eva laughed and led Annabelle into a passionate kiss.