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English
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Part 5 of Kink_LAS Director's Cuts
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Published:
2011-06-03
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1,128
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1/1
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Mindful [Director's Cut]

Summary:

The Doctor lifts his head from the pillow and turns on his side to look at Jack closely. "You want what?"

Notes:

Written for the ninth challenge of the Kink_las: wish fulfillment. Betaed by Canaan and polished.

Work Text:

The Doctor lifts his head from the pillow and turns on his side to look at Jack closely. "You want what?"

"Telepathic sex," Jack repeats with a leer.

"But..." This isn't what he expected when he told Jack he could ask for something special for his birthday – it's a silly human custom, but they enjoy it, and he enjoys making his companions happy.

He'd been thinking of a fancy restaurant or maybe one of those frightful sixtieth-century"burlesque operas" that Jack loves. Not this. He frowns. "You don't like telepathy."

"But I really like sex." Jack grins. "And... there're very few things I haven't done yet. This may be my last shot at trying something truly new."

The Doctor considers. It'd be simple enough. Jack's not a strong telepath, but he's had enough training to follow the Doctor's lead. He could make it easy by meeting Jack in his mind, show him how to share emotions, let his true essence touch Jack's... His throat constricts just imagining it. Rassilon, he wants this.

"Are you sure?"

Jack nods. "Positive."

The Doctor touches Jack's temples and reaches out with his mind.

Walls slam up.

He stops and draws back his fingers as if burned. "Jack..." He's trying for soothing, but the disappointment gives it an edge of reproach.

"Sorry!" Jack spreads his hands. "Reflex."

"If you don't want–" the Doctor begins, earnestly.

"I want this. Just a bit nervous." He takes the Doctor's hand, kisses his fingertips and puts them back on his temple. "Be patient with me?"

"Course." He can do patient. Though the thought of getting to do this again makes him want to swoop Jack up and carry him deep inside himself, hold and caress his mind and feast on a kind of intimacy he'd thought lost to him forever. But he's doing this for Jack, and he'll go as slowly as Jack needs him to. "You know you can always say stop, right?"

"Of course." Jack's completely matter-of-fact. The trust is humbling.

The Doctor makes contact again, and slips some tendrils of his consciousness into Jack's. He feels Jack's defenses quiver, but they don't come up. "Imagine a closed door in front of whatever you don't want me to see. Promise I won't peek."

Instead of an answer, Jack mentally lunges at him. His movements are jerky and unsure, but he fairly wraps himself about the Doctor and rubs their consciousnesses together with more enthusiasm than grace.

The Doctor laughs. "Steady, lad." He guides the tendrils of Jack's mind to intertwine with his. "There. That's it."

Jack seems tense but excited. He's seeking closeness, both with his mind and his body, which is now pressed against the Doctor's so tightly a strand of silk couldn't fit between them.

Jack's senses are prodding the mental link, seeking entrance. The love and desire radiating from him shoot straight to the Doctor's hearts. He opens up, lets Jack in. Gently now, lad. Can be disorienting.

Don't care. Jack dives in headfirst – well, that's the best metaphor the Doctor can think of to describe the non-corporeal process.

Jack laughs and spins around. It's all so... you!

He snorts. Would hope so. He brushes his essence against Jack's. Want me to teach you to meld?

There's a flicker of trepidation followed by a burst of desire. More than anything.

The Doctor smiles and slowly, spark by spark, lets his essence seep into Jack's. The lad catches on quickly and starts doing the same for him, letting them become part of each other, become one.

It's glorious. They entwine, hold, merge–

And then a stray thought of Jack's hits the Doctor like iced water.

He didn't mean to read it, and Jack sure as hell hadn't wanted him to see. But they'd both let their control slip for a second.

The Doctor recoils, taking his hands off Jack. He leaps off the bed and retreats halfway across the room. "I'm sorry!"

Jack looks at him, wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing, disoriented from the sudden severing of the link.

"D'you want me to leave?"

Jack shakes his head, still fighting for control of his mouth and limbs.

The Doctor stays, shoulders hunched, eyes downcast.

Jack pushes himself upright and fights to get to his feet. "Doctor... it's not like you think."

"Heard you. You never wanted this. Did it to give me what I wanted." He shakes his head, disgusted with himself. "Should have known. You hate telepathy."

With an effort, Jack crosses the room. He grabs him by the shoulders. "But I love you. I did want this. Because I know how much you miss it."

The Doctor looks up, and a tiny bit of his anger turns on Jack. "You think I'd want you to traumatize yourself for me?"

"Doctor." Jack's eyes flash with annoyance. "I expect you to trust me to know where my limits are. This is nowhere near traumatic. It was uncomfortable at first, and, yeah, I was a bit scared."

"Shouldn't have done it then."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Jack rolls his eyes, never relinquishing his hold on the Doctor. "I've done scarier things for sexual kicks. You should have seen me the first time I tried bungee sex. Would have shat my pants if I'd been wearing any."

"Bungee– Jack!" Is the lad serious?

"Yeah. Not all it's cracked up to be." He leans in and presses a soft kiss on the Doctor's jaw. "Unlike this."

"You... liked it?" Can this be true? Or is Jack just trying to relieve him of his guilt? He had seemed happy enough until that thought surfaced. And Jack's not a good enough telepath to completely fake that kind of joy.

"Loved it, once I got over myself." He leans against the Doctor, nuzzling into the crook of his shoulder. "Once I could feel it was you, I felt safe. And I loved being so... joined."

He kisses Jack's temple. "Me, too."

Jack pulls back to grin at him. "Then get back in here and finish what you started."

"Are you–" He finds his mouth stoppered by Jack's lips and tongue. But the lad is broadcasting, loud and clear, his telepathy still primed for the Doctor's mind.

I want you in me. This time, not physically. I'm not saying this just to make you happy.

The Doctor believes him. The thought's too plain and clear not to. He smiles, and lifts his hand to take what he's being given.

He's surprised how easy it is this time. Jack meets him half-way, starts the meld before the Doctor's even anchored the link. Their minds swirl and merge.

The union is so perfect, neither of them is sure where he ends and the other begins.

And neither of them cares.

The End

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