Work Text:
Chris was pacing up and down the hallway, running one hand through his hair and the other clutched his phone tightly. He was worried. Eijun wasn’t picking up his phone and it was already late. Their argument from before was ringing in his ears and he once again paced up and down.
Soon he heard loud footsteps, heavy boots stomping up the staircase leading to the second floor of the apartment complex. Chris looked up and saw Eijun, who looked like a miserable and drowned cat. He was rooted to the spot and didn’t move until Eijun was right in front of him. Chris shoved his phone back in his pocket and rushed toward Eijun, gripping his arms tightly with his hands.
“I’ve been calling you! I left voicemails – where were you?” Chris asked in a rush, worry and anger fighting within him.
Eijun wouldn’t look him in the eyes and he smelled like a bar. The stink of liquor and smoke clung to his coat.
“Are you drunk?!” harshly spat out Chris, the worry he had felt morphing into anger. He didn’t want to be angry with Eijun, he longed to pull the other man into his arms and hold him close, but he couldn’t help it.
Eijun slapped away Chris’ hand and forced his way to his apartment door. “What do you care?” he said darkly as he fumbled with his keys and managed to somehow open the apartment door. Chris was struck silent. He marched right behind Eijun into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
“Of course I care!” Chris had never felt this agitated or angry before. Even when he had broken his chances at being the catcher at Seidou he was more depressed than angry. Eijun always brought out such strong emotions in him, made him feel so damn much.
“You broke up with me, remember?! Why would you care about me now?” Eijun hissed out, angry in turn. He stripped off his jacket and threw it angrily on the floor, kicking off his boots a moment later before stomping into the apartment. Chris hastily took off his shoes too as he trailed after him.
“Eijun, look at me,” Chris called as he gripped Eijun’s arm and turned the other man toward him. He paused when he saw Eijun’s tear stained face. “Eijun…” whispered out Chris.
“Just go. I don’t know why you’re even here,” Eijun brokenly said as he wiped the tears from his face with his arm and turned away from Chris once again.
Chris reached out, but hesitated and didn’t touch Eijun again.
He sighed deeply. “Eijun,” Chris began, his anger seeping away ever since he saw Eijun’s tears. “I broke up with you because I love you,” Chris admitted, clenching his hand into a fist. He took in a deep breath. Eijun whirled around to stare at him, expression bewildered and confused.
Chris ran a hand through his hair. “You didn’t even let me finish explaining before you ran off,” Chris chided lightly. Eijun had the sense to look a bit ashamed.
“How does that even make sense, Chris? If you still love me…why…why would you break up with me?” asked Eijun.
Chris steeled himself. “Because I’ll be doing a year abroad in California. I’ll be away from you and I figured it would be best for you to have a clean break, a chance to move on and meet new people if you wished while I was gone. It was meant for a chance for you to grow and …maybe fall in love with someone else,” Chris confessed. He hadn’t meant to say as much, but the words were out now.
Eijun looked a mixture of exasperation and bemused, with a hint of anger. “Why…” Eijun sighed. “Chris, is this still about our days at Seidou where I followed you around and called you..master?” Eijun inquired, a bit embarrassed. “I told you that I love you, I love you romantically, not because I see you as…as my master! Or as a mentor! I love you for you and…and it’s me who always wondered what you would want with a screw-up like me,” Eijun finished off weakly.
Chris felt his heart clench in his chest. It was true that he was worried that Eijun stuck with him through loyalty or a sense of lingering feelings from Seidou – where Eijun saw him more as a mentor than an equal. He had wanted to give Eijun the space and time to reevaluate what he felt for him and give him a chance to move on. Chris had agonized over the decision to do so before, then the chance to study abroad fell in his lap and figured this was a sign and a perfect opportunity – it would be a clean separation.
Yet as he took in Eijun’s blazing eyes, heard the words of love spilled from his lips, maybe Chris had it wrong all along. He never thought he had such low self-esteem, but when it came to Eijun, Chris felt unusually undeserving.
Eijun moved to him, grabbed his hands tightly, and stared at him with hard eyes.
“If that’s your reason for breaking up with me then I don’t accept it!” he stated fiercely.
“I don’t want anyone else but you, and if you’re going away, then I’ll wait. We can make it work,” Eijun continued on passionately. Chris was swept up in it all – the emotions, the heat from Eijun’s body, the promises – and he let himself fall. It didn’t matter if Eijun gave up on him later down the road. That was then and this was now. He was greedy enough to take anything he could get and was selfish enough to hold onto Eijun as hard as he could. He let himself hold Eijun, hug him tightly as he burrowed his face in Eijun’s neck.
“Okay…okay,” Chris muttered out. “Let’s do it. I can’t un-register from the program, but if you think we can make it then I believe in us, believe in you,” Chris said, a smile forming on his face. Eijun smiled widely at the words and kissed Chris.
“We can. We’ll make it work,” he promised.
End.