Chapter Text
Zero knocked on the door to X’s room. In a few moments, the door opened and X stood there with his reading glasses on. Well, technically he didn’t need them but he said before that they help him get in the right headspace needed for working.
Whatever that meant.
If this was a year- no, a few months ago he would have been in shock at the sight. X in a large blue sweatshirt and snoopy-brand pajama bottoms and no armor, hell, no helmet to be seen. He must’ve just taken it off as his chestnut-brown curls looked wind-tossed and messy.
To be honest, he didn’t look anything like the figure of X that was paraded as a hero and a savior. He looked like a scrawny college student trying to get his term paper done.
“Why are you working?” Zero asked. “Today’s our off-day.”
“That’s today?” X blinked and took his round glasses off, stuffing one of the temple pieces into the sweatshirt so it was pinned in place. The silver frame glinted in the fluorescent lights.
“I was wondering why nobody was calling me…”
With the recent peace and lack of maverick attacks, Signas had let X and Zero have an off-day, which they sorely lacked. It was one, just one. But...
Zero could think of a few ways to spend it, that mainly involved kisses, and so could X, judging by how his cheeks flushed. Even with the lack of any kind of blood flow.
“I’ve been looking forward to it, I don’t know how I forgot.” X chuckled, “Well, you can come in-”
“X!!!! ZERO!!!”
Zero internally groaned but still turned around to face Douglas.
Douglas wasn’t a bad guy, really. Sometimes he was a little clingy and when talking about any recent tech he was very opinionated and got into arguments easily but he was fine in Zero’s databank.
What was unforgivable was his recent obsession with the Cars franchise.
Something most didn’t know about Zero is that he loathed, loathed, the conglomerate known as Disney. Of course, back in the year 20XX the Disney company was dismantled and sold for auction to various companies and all of their properties. Most of their franchises were in the public domain now, not that anyone gave enough a fuck about their outdated and antiquated views on human society anymore. Star Wars, in particular, was slammed for its poor portrayal of human and reploid relations. The droids were mindless beings with no personality excluding a few and most found it so offensive it was banned in areas.
In Zero’s opinion, it was accurate, they used them as instruments of war and destruction, just like in real life, but X would disapprove of that. So he disregarded the train of thought.
Although the former corporate giant was but ashes, occasionally a media company would get the bright idea to try and reboot the godawful franchises and the Hunterbase would be flooded with rookies with no taste singing or humming another reprise of Let it go, or whatever else.
So Douglas strolling in one day with large lightning McQueen crocs nearly made him gag on the energy he was drinking. Suddenly he was obsessed and right now he was wearing the bright red obnoxious mascots face, from the phrase “Ka-chow!” on his shirt to the smiling watch on his wrist.
Douglas didn’t miss the sour look on his face but was too busy trying to fix the “95” sticker he put on his glasses to think much of it.
“Heya guys!”
“Hey, Douglas! What’s up, you need something?” X asked.
“Well I don’t really need anything, I just have R-pizza and Cars 2 playing in my room and I need someone to watch it with.”
Zero almost laughed, like hell he was going to spend his off day watching Cars 2. “No way-”
“Sure we’ll watch it with you Douglas!” X chirped merrily. Zero breathed out through his nose like a bull and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Alright then! You better hurry, pizzas gonna get cold!”
Zero turned to X, who could sense what he was about to say and took preemptive actions from any anger he may have by kissing his cheek.
“I can’t think of any way to spend the day better than cuddling and a movie with you. And Douglas is kinda lonely, I feel bad for him. Everyone thinks he’s weird.”
“That’s because he is. Anyone who enjoys watching talking cars is a weirdo.”
X rolled his eyes, “Says the guy who only eats for ‘maximum fuel efficiency-’”
“I don’t understand why everyone is hung up about the taste of energy. What should matter is the zinc to arsenic ratio. Not how accurate the flavor is to organic pizza.”
“It’s only going to be an hour or so, and we can spend the rest of the day in my room okay?”
Zero sighed, knowing this was a fight he lost.
“Fine. But put your helmet back on, only I have the right to see you in such a compromised state.”
“Oh Z, you’re too overprotective. No one even recognizes me like this besides you, and well, Douglas. But that’s because he does repairs on my helmet from time to time. Not even Alia recognizes me without it on, and with the glasses-” he puts them on “I’m a whole new person.”
“Not really, you don’t lose your adorable factor.”
X faltered for a bit, face turning red, and punched his shoulder.
“Ow-”
“You’re the one who wants to keep this secret! So have it stay that way!”
“Fine, fine. But it’s not like anyone can’t put two and two together. I don’t exactly have an entire legion of friends like you do.”
“I don't have that many friends, you know that.” X pouted, cheeks rounded.
“Alright, alright…”
Stepping into Douglas’ room felt like stepping in his own personal hell. He couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and frowning, the bright red burning into his retinas.
He opened them, but it wasn’t much better. A pile of scrap metal and a screwdriver sat on his desk. It was once clean white, now smudged with grease and littered with stickers of smirking cars. Bright eyes staring soullessly at him. In one corner a whole barrage of them (why would they make a car into a plushie?!) was stacked into a large pile. Even more stickers were piled on the outside of his recharge pod, the inside fitted with red sheets and Lightning fucking McQueen staring at him.
“I know a lot of critics- especially for the time, criticize the second movie for being a schlocky spy movie that focuses on the comedy relief Tow Mater, but in my opinion- (Oh god) -with the first movie being a fish out of water story. You know, the main character Lightning McQueen ending up in a small town, far from the race and the cities with the bright lights he is accustomed to. I think the second movie with the main character becoming a spy really fits the tone of the franchise, since being a spy and traveling around the world is out of Tow Mater's comfort zone.”
While X nodded along with a slice of pizza, Zero was completely dumbfounded.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ah, you’ll see. It is a Cinematic classic.”
If a cinematic classic has a character act like a moron and spills rancid oil in front of everyone then he didn't want to know what qualifies as being bad. He looked in disgust at the primitive animation.
"I don’t get it."
"Get what?” X asked through his bites of lemon-zappers. Douglas also looked at the pair, X nibbling on sweets with Zero, stiff as ever, rigid on the couch, an arm around relaxed X.
"Why did he say ‘Like a neighbor Tow Mater is there?' I feel like that's some sort of reference.’
“Actually it is! Back in the year 20XX there was an insurance company called ‘State Farm’-”
“What the fuck is insurance?”
“Oh, basically, if a human died while they had insurance, they’d get money for their family.” Douglas explained.
“Why the fuck would you need that?”
X chimed in, “well if the main breadwinner of the family died, it would mean bad news for the rest of the family to suddenly need to scramble and find a way to support themselves.”
“Why wouldn’t they all get a job?"
“Traditionally, the man is the breadwinner, while the mother stays home, helps the kids, does chores, and cooks. Of course there are exceptions but that's how most households function.”
“That’s stupid and inefficient. They could use that money from working to put back into childcare and provide better.”
"I don't recall humans ever being rational but you know a lot about this stuff X!”
X laughed, “I learned a lot from Dr. Cain recounting his childhood.¨
Douglas suddenly looked awkward, fixing his red-tinted glasses and looking back to the screen.
"What’s wrong?"
"I-It’s just I never knew the guy and he’s dead right? Kinda awkward…’
“..." X was quiet.
Zero snuck in a quick kiss on the cheek, this brought x out of his deep through and he giggled, grinning and kissing him back.
"You are such a hypocrite, not wanting to be found out-” he whispered
"How many kisses do ya think we can sneak in before he notices?
X hummed, “Want to find out?
Zero smirked back.
"Well that was fun, wasn't it? I gotta say, that ending gets me every time, a reprise with the same tourists from the first movie, totally unexpected reference. Classic. And although we don’t see Mater’s girlfriend in the 3rd movie, it's still very heartwarming. Oh! speaking of the third movie, it isn’t my favorite but wow… I can only imagine seeing the trailer in the theaters back in the year 2017…” he gushed, “His breathing thumping in your ears, the exhilarating car crash. It's a totally tragic movie about Lightning McQueen striving to return to form- wait, what do you guys say about watching the 3rd movie?”
"Huh?" Zero looked up and X nuzzled into his chest, "Sure, sounds fun."
Douglas was over the moon and ignored how much closer they were on the couch, legs intertwined, both of their faces flushed red. "Oh boy!" he hopped up and retrieved the blue-ray from the shelf.
“You know X, this wasn’t so bad after all.”
“See? I told you.”
“You’re right, you’re always right.”
“Oh stop~”
“Never.”
Douglas laughed, “You guys are like an old married couple sometimes!”
If only you knew Douglas if only you knew. Zero just said,
“Oh?”
“Yeah! If I didn’t know better I’d almost think you were dating.”
“Where’d you hear that from?” X snickered.
“Weird rumor going around. But you guys aren’t like that right?”
“Of course not. We’re just friends.”
“Haha, yeah. Like Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater.”
“Exactly.” And as soon as Douglas looked away he dove in for another kiss.