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Travis likes hanging out in he and Todd’s room. It’s a little strange to say that and know it to be true, but it's comforting too.
There will be days where he hardly moves, just lazing there on his bunk, flipping through Todd’s weird UFO books or the chick-lit Maple lent him or a stack of Sal’s stolen gaming magazines and just… being at peace. Just existing in a way he was never allowed to before.
The sounds of Todd typing away at the computer are soothing. The once-foreign smell of pot floats in from the other room, a stunning reminder that he has a family now. Even Bob bubbling about in his aquarium leaves Travis feeling soothed.
It’s lovely.
Back when he was a Phelps, hiding in his room was the closest he could ever come to peace, and even that was a fragile thing. He’d sit there, anxious, terrified, waiting for Kenneth Phelps to come stomping up to his room… It was a nightmare. A living nightmare.
Now, he can hear Janis and Ray giggling through the thin apartment walls. He can feel Todd’s gentle presence like a balm over old wounds. He’s not alone in that cold upstairs room anymore, waiting to hear an angry shout ring out against the walls while he shakes in terror on top of his thin, undressed mattress.
No shout is coming. No pain. Just Todd doing his research, their parents relaxing in the other room. The only time anyone ever raises their voice in this house is in laughter.
Sometimes, Travis almost doesn’t trust it. When Ray ruffles his hair and asks how his day was, when Janice hugs him close and asks if he wants to help Ray cook, when Todd ushers him over to look at some interesting evidence or some new ghost-hunting invention… It’s easier. In fact, it’s almost effortless.
Now, with Neil and Ash over, it’s even more natural. Neil is curled up with Todd in the big cushy chair Travis bought when he first moved in (“You two better not canoodle in that thing.” “That would be highly inappropriate-” “I’m well-aware, Todd!”) and Ash is on the floor with a few fabrics, sewing together semi-large rectangles with her tongue sticking out in concentration. Travis watches her with interest, lazing on his bottom bunk in a cat-like fashion.
It’s comforting. More than comforting - it's healing. Janis and Ray are out with some activist friends, Chug and Maple are busy with their folks, and Sal’s with Larry for the night, so Travis was almost worried tonight would be lonely. For whatever reason, he thought it would be like being in the house behind the church again, shaking and waiting for things to go bad.
Things aren’t going bad. They aren’t going to go bad.
Ash looks up at him, her green eyes made to look wider with her thick false lashes. Then she smiles, looking amused and surprised. “What are you so happy about, Moonchild?”
Travis bites his lip to keep from grinning. “Just thinking. Become a telepath or mind your business, Campbell.”
“Okay, sure.” Putting her needle and thread down, she raises her fingers to her temple and clenches her eyes shut. “You’re thinking about… hurrrgh…”
“I’m not thinking about hurgh.”
“No, because you’re too busy… thinking about... Sal’s butt! ” She points at him in triumph as Travis sputters.
"No canoodling," Todd reminds them in deadpan. Beside him, Neil laughs.
Fighting a blush, Travis snorts behind his hand. "All of you need to shut your-"
Neil raises a playful eyebrow. "Now, Travis… What have we said about being kind?"
"Ugh." But the smile doesn't go away. In fact, it grows into something toothy that he knows is going to make his cheeks hurt. "I was just thinking it's cool to have you guys here, okay? I feel- lucky. I guess."
"Aww!" Ash puts a hand over her heart, her dark nails bright against her layered silver necklaces. "That's so sweet…"
Neil leans his head on Todd's red curls and says in a gentle voice, "I'm always happy to spend time with you, Travis. You're very important to me."
Todd pats Neil's knee. "And I live here."
That makes Travis laugh, the brief anxiety at the room's sudden mawkishness leaving him. "Even I know that one, boy genius." Fighting the urge to hide his face in his shirt, he turns back to Ash. "What are you working on anyways?"
"Oh! Well, I got to realizing that when my girlfriend and I go to pride events, we carry different flags. I like the bi flag and she likes the lesbian flag, so we carry then both. And I thought - hey! What if I made a flag that is both!"
Travis blinks widely. "That sounds like a really great idea."
"Yay!" She claps her hands in excitement. "I hope the girls will think so too. I'm gonna show it to Sappho Squad next week."
The Sappho Squad are going to like it, Travis knows. They're a loving bunch; they even still invite him out sometimes after their sister squad (brother squad) for queer men snubbed him too many times.
"I'm certain they'll love your idea, Ashley." Todd looks torn between going to help her with the project and remained curled next to Neil. "What's the design going to be?"
"It's the bi flag as a base, with the purple being the darker shade found in the lesbian flag. Then, I'll add the black triangle and labrys over it."
"That sounds awesome," Neil confesses. "I'm excited to see how it comes out!"
"Yeah, me too," Travis admits.
Travis watches Ash continue to stitch the pieces together, watches Todd nuzzle his face into Neil's neck, watches Neil smile into Todd's hair, and feels whole.
They sit there for a long time, watching Ash work, listening to the occasional bump or bang from the other apartments.
Travis flips through one of his magazines and thinks about Sal, about how strongly he believed he could never be happy unless Sal was around, about how much healthier their relationship has become since he's started finding joy in other people. He thinks about Todd, who's shown him the unconditional love of family. He thinks about Neil, who's shown him not just why to be kind, but how - not only to others, but to himself. He thinks about Ash, who's shown him the simple human pleasure in creation.
He loves these people. Time passes, too slow and too quick, and he loves these people.
Ash smooths out her flag with a proud grin on her face. She knows the other girls will like it.
Todd and Neil are grinning too. It's amazing how different Todd looks with Neil hanging off him, his usually dignified tiredness replaced by something giddy and boyish. Neil's arm is around him, snug and simple, and the two have their heads pushed together, looking like two halves of one whole. Two wholes of one whole.
Travis feels it too. He lies on his back, arms and legs splayed like a starfish, and finds he can't stop smiling.
They exist. They exist in tandem, sharing space and silence like it's easy, because it is.