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Stop it.
Saiki curled further in on himself under the covers.
So many voices. Loud. Too loud.
Shut up!
He fumbled around the nightstand, blindly pawing for the germanium ring, eyes screwed shut in pain. After several excruciating moments, his fingers brushed the cool metal. Instant relief.
The silence engulfed him, a warm blanket of peace. But peace only lasts so long, and he couldn’t help but think about things.
Why don’t I wear this ring more often? It is what I’ve been asking for my whole life, isn’t it?
And it’s true. This is exactly what he wanted. Saiki had despised his telepathy since he was a kid. The novelty had worn off and the rest was history.
But it’s not that simple. Nothing ever is. He’d spent so long fantasizing about the day he might wake up with no powers. He clung to that hope when he felt like he was going off the deep end. Yet he had never considered the logistics of it.
In hindsight, developing a dependency on his powers was decidedly not the best idea. Sure, any kid would want to use and abuse his abilities, but he wasn’t a kid anymore. He hadn’t been for a while, he should have known better. It was just so much easier to use them, they were tools, not cheats. He was helping those in need; a hero. Kusuo gave a bitter smile at the thought.
Now, though, he couldn’t live without them.
He got out of bed, tired limbs roaring in protest.
Might as well get ready for school.
Passing the mirror, he hesitated. God, he hated mirrors. Each one, another reminder of what a useless freak he was. His eyes drifted down to the ring on his hand. There are many reasons why he can’t just wear it forever. The main one being that he can’t communicate with others when he has it on. True, it blocks out their thoughts, but it’s a double-edged sword. That includes telepathic messages.
Gathering his courage, the psychic took a deep breath. “...” Nothing. Of course there was nothing. He could blame his parents for never teaching him to speak verbally, but that wouldn’t be fair to them. He’d had the ability to teach himself from the moment he was born. It just hadn’t seemed relevant at the time. Why stumble over new words when he could communicate far more efficiently? It was below him. Come on , he thought, Focus. You have the theory down. You know how to speak. Just apply it. ”S—“ A violent coughing fit rattled through him. He’s the most powerful person in the world and he can’t even say his own name. Some ‘hero’.
Stupid. Useless. Saiki was no stranger to intrusive thoughts, it came with the territory. But those were others’ feelings -- others’ lives. He was separated from them. Freak. Dangerous.
How do people deal with this all the time? It was already wearing on Kusuo.
Guess it’s just another thing you never learned because of your shitty sense of superiority. Narcissistic sociopath.
Shut it. His hands began to tap anxiously on his legs, eyes locked on the mirror.
Just face it. You wouldn’t last a day without your powers. Although, you’re not much better off with them. One of these days, you’re just going to end up hurting someone.
He glared at the reflection. I said, shut it!
It’s only a matter of time. You’re dangerous. Volatile.
Stop it! The mirror shattered, pieces flying towards himself. Warm blood flowed down his arms. The voice laughed darkly, an unspoken ‘told you so’.
The psychic ripped off the ring like it had burned him, welcoming the voices to come rushing back in, steadily drowning out his own thoughts.
”Ku!” Kurumi called from downstairs, “Time to go to school!”
No time for emotional distress. He has to be strong. Calm. Ice.
Well, you heard the woman. Time for school