Chapter Text
“And the final curious potion we will be introducing today, last but not least, is Amortentia.” Your potions professor announced. Professor Lee always had a bounce in his step and a delighted grin whenever he taught. Anyone who saw him could tell that potions were his passion. And today’s lesson was no different; the smile on his pudgy face was more full than usual today. And you weren’t sure why. But he continued dutifully with his teachings.
“I’m sure most of you already know what this little concoction is, it’s quite famous amongst kids your age.” He chipped, but then held his pointer finger up and towards the small group of students in front of him. He warned, “But don’t even think about using it. This potion is considered highly dangerous and very powerful. It does not create genuine love, that is impossible to achieve by means of magic. Just an intense obsession. Understand?”
You heard a few peers around you sigh in disappointment. And you weren’t very surprised since you always heard gossip through the grapevine. Stories about your classmates and their romantic struggles. And like your professor said, this potion was very popular. Everyone wants easy love, a perfect romance. You even thought about using it once or twice when you were younger; probably in year two or three. You shake your head at yourself, those days of pining after that certain person were behind you. At least, the childish thoughts of using magic to do that.
“Of course, I’m sure most of you are wise enough not to do that. I expect great things from you bunch, this is an advanced potion class. I see greatness in each one of you.” Your professor smiled once again as his eyes landed on every one of you and your classmates. It was a mixed class as well; it had some students from each house attending it. Which was a change from the usual one or two houses per class, but you like it, you didn’t interact as much with the other houses as you would’ve liked to.
“Would anyone like to tell me what they know about Amortentia before we begin?” Professor Lee let the question hang in the air, receiving only silence. His smile dropped for a moment, but it was up once more when he spotted somebody raised their hand. He nodded and pointed towards the owner of the raised hand, “Yes, Seungmin, go ahead.”
“It’s complicated to brew, and it makes the person it’s used on have an extreme obsession.” Seungmin said, very interested in today’s lesson, “The smells also different for everybody; it smells like the three things people love the most.”
“That is correct! Five points for Ravenclaw.” Your professor chirped happily. “At the end of class, if anyone wishes, they may take a whiff of Amortentia if they’re curious about the smell.”
You smiled as well, and discreetly fist-bumped Seungmin for the extra points for your house. In your mind, he was always a good kid, if not a little odd sometimes. For the rest of the class, your professor spoke animatedly about Amortentia and went over its painful brewing procedure. You listened, well, you tried to. Looking to the brewing procedure is tedious and quite a bore, especially for such a long and precise potion like Amortentia. So, your thoughts wandered a bit, but you got the gist of what you needed to know about Amortentia. And if you had questions, the textbook was there for a reason. Instead, you were curious about what Amortentia smelled like for you; perhaps it would be your favorite coffee or tea, or maybe a particular food. What did Seungmin smell? Or the professor? You scanned the room, curious as to what the others would smell in the Amortentia.
There were pretty rowdy Gryffindors like Han Jisung or Shin Ryujin. But there was a certain Slytherin you were especially curious about. Eyes trained on Hwang Hyunjin, you concentrated as you tried to think. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you thought about what he would even smell, he was unpredictable, really. Nobody was really close to the aloof Slytherin, but he got along really well with everyone. He wasn’t cruel or stuck up despite the Slytherin stereotype, but he wasn’t friendly either. Hyunjin never stuck to people that well, it was as if he wasn’t interested enough to care. On the other hand, people stuck to Hyunjin like glue; you weren’t exactly sure why. So it confused you, why care so much about a guy who doesn’t do the same? Perhaps it was because of his charm, the few times you spoke to him were very pleasant; it helped that he was a solid ten in looks. Nonetheless, there was something off about him that you couldn’t figure out. Hyunjin was indeed a mystery.
“Hey, pay attention.” Seungmin jabbed at your side, effectively derailing your train of thought. “If we’re gonna be partners again, it’s not going to be like last time.”
You rolled your eyes, “Come on Minnie, it wasn’t that bad. Okay?”
He frowned, “Says you, the potion didn’t blow up right in your eyes.”
“Sorry?” You shrugged with a shy smile, feeling a little guilty about the potion incident. Seungmin went blind for a whole hour.
“You better be.” Seungmin turned his focus back into taking his notes. How diligent.
You pouted and leaned onto the desk, your chin resting in the palm of your hand. You muttered sourly, “That sounds like a threat.”
“That’s because it is.”
The class period reached its end quickly, and your mood was instantly lifted. While you enjoy the advanced potions class, it has a knack for putting you to sleep. You were a pretty lazy Ravenclaw.
“Remember class, I will offer you extra credit for this lesson! If you’re interested just sign this parchment before you leave the room, this is your last day to do this before I begin planning the extra credit.” Your professor reminded everyone one last time before dismissing the class.
The small class began to file out of the room, most of them gathering around the table with the vials of potions lined upon them. All the potions the professor went over today were interesting and very advanced. It was predictable which one people flocked towards first. Amortentia.
Chatter filled the air as you heard excited quips of what they smelled; others who were less interested simply left the room. Seungmin was one of those people about to leave the room, completely ignoring the potions. But you clutched his arm and yanked him towards the table. He yelped in surprise before giving you an ugly look.
“Don’t act like you aren’t curious about what you smell.” You crossed your arms, standing in front of the table. The small crowd already began dispersing.
“I will act like it because I don’t.” Seungmin sighed, then began to leave the room once more. “I’ll meet you outside after you’re finished.”
Lips pursed in a frown, what a downer. You weren’t sure what his problem was today, his mood seemed to drop mid-lesson. But ignoring Seungmin’s attitude, you faced the little vial of Amortentia. Little spiraling wisps rose from the vial, dissipating by the time it reached the height of your eyes. Already a little excited, you leaned down and took a whiff.
You smelled everything right away, each scent from the potion was strong and distinct. The corners of your lips tipped up.
Old books, and you knew exactly why. The Ravenclaw common room was absolutely filled with ancient books from top to bottom, and it showed. Bookcases were full of leather-bound books and rolled-up scrolls. The scent was faint but immediately noticeable, old and musty, but endearing to you. Ravenclaw pride bubbled up in your chest.
Then there was a sort of citrusy smell, it was oranges. Other than the fact that they smell good, they were always in season for you. Ever since the first day you sat down at the Ravenclaw table and the feast appeared in front of you, you adored Hogwarts’ oranges. It was the first thing you tried out of the feast, and the taste stuck with you. You’ll eat one whenever you have the chance.
Jasmine. The last scent was jasmine, and while you vividly recognize the smell, you were confused as to why you smelled it. There were no prominent memories associated with jasmine other than it just smelling very good. And despite your confusion around it, it was easily the most potent smell among the three. You stared intensely at the vial, trying to focus on the jasmine scent; it was possible a memory or feeling would come to you. But alas, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
Deciding to give up, you took a step away and just admired the potion for a moment. It was lovely, a light blue color with a sleek sheen to it and spiraling steam. No one would be able to tell what powerful properties it would have. You sigh before you noticed most others have left the class already to carry on their schedule. All except for one.
You were surprised to see Hyunjin standing in front of you on the opposite side of the table. He was glaring down at the potion, a confused and annoyed expression creased his face. Frowning, you wondered what he smelled to possibly cause such an irate reaction from the boy. Unsure of whether it was appropriate to ask, you just stared at Hyunjin’s concentrated expression. But as usual, curiosity got the better of you and decided you wanted to know why he seemed so annoyed. Hesitantly, you got his attention and waved a hand.
“Hey Hyunjin, what do you smell?” You leaned over to match his line of sight, with an awkward little smile to seem friendly. You gulped nervously after Hyunjin’s irritated gaze flicked to look you directly in your eyes.
“What do you smell?” He responded to your question with a question. You frowned but figured you would answer anyway.
“Hm…it was old books, oranges, and jasmine. Pretty pleasant if you ask me.” Shifting your weight, you tilted your head before questioning him again. “So, how about you?”
“Nothing.” His lips pursed with his eyebrows were scrunched, “I don’t smell anything.”
The first thought that came to you was simply that that wasn’t possible. But you couldn’t question him or dwell on the idea any longer. Hyunjin ended the small talk when he sharply snatched his textbook off the desk and left the room, leaving you to feel bad you even asked.
Feeling down since you’ve somehow insulted two people within the span of five minutes, you figure it’s your time to go. A heavy sigh and a moment later you headed towards the exit.
“Miss y/n, please don’t feel bad about that. It’s good to be curious. Some people just have a complicated relationship with this kind of stuff.” Professor Lee consoled you, he was packing his notes and materials up from his desk. His smile was sympathetic.
You smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t think he’s a very open person, sir.”
“Well, Miss y/n, that just makes their journey all the more satisfying.”
“The journey?”
“Getting to know somebody is an adventure all on its own. I’m sure you’ll discover this.” Professor Lee began walking out from behind his desk, parchment in hand. “Somebody like him specifically, Hyunjin, would be a tough but fascinating journey.”
“You’re talking about people like they’re stories, sir.”
“Well, everyone has their own story, for some people, it just takes some digging. I know you’re an inquisitive person, you have a thirst for knowledge.“
"Thank you, your enthusiasm when you teach really does help.” You smile gratefully, then paused as something came to mind. “Actually, where’s that parchment for the extra credit? I’d like to do it; the lessons have been getting a little hard to understand.”
“Oh, of course! It’s right here.” He held out the parchment in his hand and gave you a quill. “Go right ahead dear, you’ll be given a partner to complete this outside of class.”
“Okay, thanks sir, I’ll see you later.” You sign and gather your things, leaving the classroom in a better mood than you would have otherwise. You nearly forget Seungmin was outside waiting for you, so you sent him an apologetic look.
“Took you long enough, I was about to go in and check if you died,” Seungmin commented, propped on the ledge jutting out from the sculptured stone walls. He looked uncomfortable.
“Wow, you really did wait for me, I’m flattered.” You smiled, pleasantly surprised despite the frown set on Seungmin.
“Yeah, I did, now hurry up before we’re late for charms class.” He began to walk ahead of you while you trailed behind him, a couple steps quicker to try to catch up. “What did you smell anyway?”
“Hmm, old books, citrus, and jasmine. All quite nice if you ask me.”
Seungmin hummed in response, slowing his pace for you; he seemed content. The smug little smirk on your face showed your sense of satisfaction. Seungmin could never stay mean to you, it didn’t matter what; you two have been best friends since the first year. He got grumpy sometimes, but it never lasted long when it came to you. You nudged him with your elbow, catching him on the side; then, you looked up at him to show off your smug little grin. In return, he rolled his eyes and nudged you back, but you peaked at the little smile he attempted to hold back.
The next morning was breakfast time, and the only way to describe your journey to the Great Hall was a hobble. Or maybe a shuffle or stagger. And it was a long ways away from the Ravenclaw tower down to the Great Hall. As a result, you were really struggling to move your tired limbs. Perhaps you’ll take a quick nap during breakfast, or sleep during Ms. Hong’s charm class. Either way, you were not awake, and it showed. Badly.
Unfortunately, you’ve developed an awful habit of not sleeping when you’re supposed to, and it’s resulted in your morning zombie-ness. And general crankiness if you were going to be honest. All that nagging Seungmin threw at you didn’t help either, he always nagged at you to sleep early or to eat right. It was easy for him to say though, he was one of the early birds in this school.
And as soon as you took your seat at the Ravenclaw table, you knew the look Seungmin was putting your way. He really just reminded you of your mother sometimes. So, before he could nag you, you nagged yourself. You hitch your voice into a slightly nasally tone and scrunch your nose mockingly. “Y/n you need to sleep earlier, study before 10pm, don’t rely on caffeine, stop procrastinating you lazy ass.”
“I don’t sound like that!“
“Shhh, yea, you do, don’t pretend you don’t know. Don’t be so loud in the mornings, please.” You grumble and lay your head on the table after placing a muffin on your plate. After closing your eyes, you sigh heavily and ultimately regret your life choices that lead to your headache and tired eyes.
Seungmin shook his head, “I wasn’t even going to say anything. You’re a brat in the mornings, you know that right?”
“Mmmhm, watcha gonna do about it?” You mumble, head still lying on the table and eyes shut comfortably. After a few seconds, you got no response, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Meanwhile, Seungmin wasn’t buying into your childish attitude right now. Simply resting his cheek to the palm of his hand, eyelids lowering in boredom, and with a weary sigh said, “Your robes are on inside out.”
"No, it’s not you’re just messing with me.” You didn’t even bother to check.
Seungmin stopped bothering you in favor of chatting with Jeongin. Another Ravenclaw just a year below you; he also had a knack for annoying you. You weren’t surprised that he and Seungmin got along so well. Eventually, maybe a few minutes passed before your thoughts shut down, and you were snoozing away. A soothing smell drifted in the air around you, slightly mixed in with the fresh oranges and ripening bananas. It smelled very familiar, but you were too drowsy to remember the name, and it served to make you fall deeper into your morning nap.
“How does she fall asleep so quickly…” Jeongin stared at you in engrossed bafflement and proceeded to wave a hand in front of your face. He was another early bird who enjoyed teasing you about your poor life choices.
“Because she refuses to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Seungmin said, bored as if he’s been through this situation many times before. Which to his credit, he has. “She’ll start snoring soon, just wait.”
And you did, the snores were quiet at first, more like loud breathing. Jeongin raised his eyebrows, “You were right.”
Seungmin smiled a smug smile, and tapped his temple. “I know her well, later she’ll complain about how tired she still is but can’t sleep. Then the cycle will repeat.”
Seungmin then pulled out a quill, a devilish smile on hand. “I have an idea.”
Jeongin mirrored his mischievous grin, immediately recognizing the type of quill he took out. Without hesitation, Seungmin, on your exposed cheek, began to write gently. While nothing showed up at first, the quill contained disappearing ink; and that means that in about an hour the ink will become visible. Just about the time you’d be getting sleepy again, in potions class where he had to deal with your lazy ass.
Seungmin felt satisfied with his work. His little art piece wasn’t visible at the moment. But the little mustache and monocle he drew would give him a good laugh later in class. He even wrote ‘I told you so’ on your forehead, just to take a jab at you.
Eventually, you were forced to wake up. The students around you filing out of the Great Hall and through the large entrance doors, the chatter filling the castle. You lifted your head. It felt heavy as you stretched your arms out to yawn. Drowsy and your vision still blurry, you picked up your muffin and quickly began to eat. You sat there for a moment, letting your sleepiness slowly fade away. Only then did you freeze Seungmin and jeongin left you there, you pursed your lips and puffed your cheeks out. But you should’ve expected it, it always annoyed Seungmin when your lousy sleeping habits caught up to you, and you knew it.
You shook it off though as Seungmin just being Seungmin and stared dully at the seat he sat in across from you. He had a half-filled plate of breakfast food leftover, and you really just thought of why he would grab so much if he didn’t even eat it. But one thing caught your attention, making you do a double-take. A funny feeling began to settle in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes stuck on the teacup across from you as the gears in your head work hard. The silence as the room emptied out only amplified the thoughts in your mind.
Seungmin’s tea was jasmine, he always drank a cup in the morning and before bed. Although Seungmin drinks a lot of tea throughout the day, jasmine is his favorite. It was usually routine for him to start and end the day with it. And well, you always liked the smell of it; since you associated it with good memories and Seungmin. You recognized it as the smell that so easily put you to sleep this morning. And you also recognized it as the last thing you smelled in Amortentia.
It wasn’t hard to put two and two together, but it was a jarring revelation. Did you love Seungmin? Of course, you would say yes, but to think of him romantically gave you a funny feeling in your chest. You blinked at the teacup in front of you, trying to decipher what this meant for you. If somebody asked how you felt, you wouldn’t be able to answer clearly. It was as if that warm, fuzzy feeling right now was also constricting. Your breathing was heightened, and there was a pressure in your abdomen. The most honest answer you could say was that your feelings were mixed.
"Miss,” there was a tap on your shoulder, breaking you from your thoughts. You blink wildly as if torn from a daze and stare at the professor in front of you, slightly baffled. She looks at you softly, “it’s time to go to class hun.”
“Oh,” you reply dumbly. But hearing the awkward sound quickly brought you back to your senses. “Oh, yes of course. I’m sorry professor, I guess I’m still waking up. It’s not an easy morning I suppose.”
“We all have those days, now hurry along and get to class before you’re late.”
“Of course, thank you” you gather your stuff and rush out of the now empty Great Hall.
You speed walked to your next class in a daze, took notes in a daze, and left the class in a daze. Seungmin. Seungmin? Maybe…but, it was Seungmin. Your best friend, Seungmin.
Which you had your next class with, and you absolutely wouldn’t be able to concentrate. It was potions, which you suppose was a good thing. You were good at potions, and Professor Lee was giving out the assignments for the extra credit today. You found yourself standing in front of the potions room door, staring at the floor and thinking to yourself. You shake your head and huff, you just decide to focus on the studies for now. Worrying can wait.
You walk into potions class and take your usual seat next to Seungmin, and everything was as usual. Professor Lee began his lecture, and you and Seungmin made little comments to each other, sometimes snide and sometimes witty. He scribbled notes in his little parchment paper, bound into a notebook. You lean over towards Seungmin, boredom already creeping up on you, and start doodling on his parchment. He doesn’t even bat an eye, he’s too used to your strange doodles. At first, he always complained about the “weird muggle drawing” on his study notes. But he eventually grew to know who Spongebob was, initially asking why there was a “block of cheese with a face on it” on his paper. Being a young first year, you were horrified that he didn’t know who Spongebob was. And proceeded to explain to him what Spongebob and cartoons were. Little pureblood Seungmin was weirded out, but since you kept on drawing on his notes, he figured it was useless to keep complaining. Now he actually likes seeing your doodles on his notes, even if they weren’t that good. It was always a different person or character, and whenever a new one popped up, he would ask about it. Currently, you were doodling a bad rendition of the gang from Monsters Inc.
Seungmin glances over at you, smirks, then looks back down to continue note taking. This action makes you pause for a moment. You stare at him, waiting for him to explain to you why he looks so smug and satisfied. You can already tell this isn’t a good sign for you, to mentally prepare yourself for the worst.
“Seungmin.” You nudge him gently, “What did you do this time?”
He looks at you, eyes you a bit before looking at his paper again, a smile on his lips. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Liar.” You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the previous pranks he pulled on you. It only took a moment before the lightbulb lit above your head, your expression was one of annoyance. “You drew something on my face, didn’t you.”
“Of course not, why would I do that?” He pretends to be offended, but you knew he was satisfied on the inside. His response only confirmed your suspicions.
You grumble to yourself before trying to wipe the ink off your face, but you were sure you were just smudging it. Also hoping nobody else noticed whatever it was Seungmin decided to draw. And you could only wish it was nothing obscene. After a few minutes of trying to wipe the ink off your face, Seungmin finally took pity and began wiping it off for you. He chuckled silently to himself while doing it, though. What a little fucker.
Soon enough the professor got everyone’s attention after his lecture of the day. You tuned in after a whole class period of barely listening, and it’s a good thing you did. He just started talking about the extra credit project. And so, you decide that you need to pay attention to this. Putting your thoughts away, you turned your focus towards professor Lee.
“Now, I must say I am slightly disappointed. Out of the 17 of you in this class, only 4 signed up for extra credit.” Professor Lee huffed indignantly. But continued anyway. “But those who have, I’m proud to say, are quite brilliant students.”
You leaned into Seungmin and asked him in a low tone, “Did you sign up?”
He shook his head and shrugged, you pouted, a little disappointed.
“First pair, Na Jaemin and Kwon Eunbin. You two will be brewing the potion Felix Felicus. The next, and last, pair will be Hwang Hyunjin and y/f/n. And the two of you will be brewing Amortentia. Those are both complicated potions you know, and it must be done outside of class. We are much too busy in class here to work on this project. I suggest the four of you see me after class to discuss this more if you have any questions.”
Your curiosity was peaked, you twisted around in your chair to spot Hyunjin a few seats behind you. The odd boy was going to be your partner. He didn’t seem too interested, but his eyes flicked to meet yours when he sensed your gaze on him. You smiled and waved, trying to look friendly enough after what happened yesterday; maybe you came off as insensitive? Hyunjin nodded to you politely, the ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. After a moment, his attention turned back to the professor. But your gaze lingered for another second, you twisted back around after.
Seungmin nudged you, “Got a little crush, huh?”
Your jaw dropped and you smacked his arm in offense, “No, of course not. I just think he’s a little strange…”
“Strange?”
“Yea, isn’t there something off about him? He’s not mean or anything, but it’s like…like an act.”
Seungmin shook his head in denial, “I don’t see anything wrong, maybe that’s just how he is.”
You thought about it for a moment, but it still bothered you. Nonetheless, the topic was dropped, and your mind clung onto another question. Was Seungmin aware of the Amortentia thing? He knew what you smelled in the potion, and Seungmin isn’t a dumb boy. Unquestionably he connected the dots and knew you smelled his jasmine tea, but for some reason just held off telling you. Or maybe he didn’t want to cause any awkward feelings because he didn’t reciprocate those feelings…
The thought of that put you down though, like your heart felt heavy just thinking of that possibility. You frowned, you were positive Seungmin knew, because you knew him well enough. He’s a smart boy. You rested your chin on your hand and tilted your head to eye Seungmin, squinting your eyes skeptically.
Of course, he noticed, not like you were hiding it anyway. He only looked at you weirdly and scoffed, amused. “What’s with the stink eye?”
“Not a stink eye, just thinking.” Your response was curt.
He pinched your nose affectionately while you swatted his hand away, “You overthink.”
“What a hypocrite, you’re a thinker too.”
“Yea, but at least I’m still grounded in reality. When you think, your heads way up there.” Seungmin looks up and points towards the sky. You purse your lips, unable to retort. And soon after, class was finishing up.
You stood from your seat, grabbed your textbooks, and waited as you leaned on the table. Eyes closed, you sigh breathily and wait for further instructions. When you open your eyes, Hyunjin was waiting as well with the same bored expression as you. The other two classmates were standing around too, it seems like none of you were particularly happy about this extra credit project. You couldn’t dwell on the thought much longer, though, because your professor stood in front of you all now, a huge gummy smile on his face. You sneak a glance at Hyunjin only to see a prominent frown on his usually indifferent
face, your head tilts in curiosity.
“Hm…”
∎∎∎
Two days later and you sat in the library, not exactly enthused about Hyunjin’s tardiness. When Professor Lee explained the criteria for the extra credit a couple days ago, you and Hyunjin decided on when your first meet-up would be. And it was agreed that 6pm in the library would work. You were chewing on some oranges, a pile of the rines sitting on the table, the citrus-y scent wavering around you.
Apparently, it didn’t, because Hyunjin was thirty minutes late and your temper was increasing by the minute. You were muttering to yourself, “This boy, geez, what’s his deal. He better have a mighty good excuse for this…”
Pulling out a potions textbook, you just decide to start on your own. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. You probably sat there for another fifteen minutes or so before a couple chairs were pulled out and sat in. Looking up, you expected to see Hyunjin, but instead you were greeted by Jaemin and Renjun, you furrowed your eyebrows. You were friends with the two boys, Renjun was in Ravenclaw with you so it was a natural friendship. And you knew the Slytherin Jaemin through Renjun, all in the same year as you. You tilted your head and rested an arm on your textbook.
“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, a bored look in your eyes.
Jaemin whistled, pretending to be offended, “What? No ‘Hi Jaemin! Hello Renjun! It’s so nice to see you guys.’”
You rolled your eyes at him, Jaemin even fluttered his eyelashes for the extra flair. “No, since when have I ever greeted you guys like that. And you didn’t answer my question, why are you here?”
“Ah, you’re so cold to us.” Renjun chuckled, but smiled nonetheless, knowing you were just being comfortable with them. “We just needed to check up on some things. But we saw you and wanted to say hi. The real question is, why are you here and why do you look so pissy?”
“I’m doing extra credit work for potions, but, Hyunjin is supposed to do it with me and I haven’t heard from him.” You frowned, bookmarking your page and closing your textbook.
“What, really?” Jaemin looked confused, “Hyunjin was sleeping last I saw him.”
“He…was sleeping.” You repeated, irritated and about to drag him to the library by his ear if need be.
Jaemin nodded and stood up, “He’s one of my roommates. Never mentioned extra credit or anything.”
Renjun stood up with him and shrugged, “Maybe you guys will have to reschedule your study date. Wish you luck, we’ll be going now.”
“Study date?? Renjun no, no, that’s not-” You tried to explain, but they walked away before you even finished your sentence. They even stole a couple of your oranges before they left. You sighed, exasperated and tired, they always teased you; they even had the nerve to steal your oranges! But your irritation caught up to you again as your head dropped and thumped onto the table. You sighed heavily as you just laid there, you figured it’s about time you pack things up. You can’t get too far without Hyunjin, and you weren’t about to do all the work and let Hyunjin slack off. This was a group project!
Just as you stood up and began packing your things away, a familiar figure rushed into the library, making a ruckus and disturbing the calm atmosphere. It was Hyunjin.
The boy basically stumbled through the door and slammed his hands against the wall to keep himself from entirely faceplanting. Somehow while still tripping over his own two feet. All of which caused a loud thud sound and all eyes on him; this provoked a violent and angry “Shhh!” from the librarian. He stood up straight and apologized, seemingly bewildered at how extra his entrance was. Then as he lifted his head up, he was able to see that most eyes were on him. Pink crept up his neck, and his usual calm demeanor was broken as he scratched the back of his neck. He quickly walked away from the entrance, trying to shake off all the eyes on him. It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to spot you and he made his way over, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut for a moment as if he was trying to erase that moment from his memory.
You stood there, arms crossed and a prominent frown gracing your features. About a million questions were buzzing through your head, but first one you chose to scold him. “Why are you so late?? I was sitting here for like 45 whole minutes Hyunjin, and Jaemin comes by and tells me you were sleeping?? Really? Honestly, you better have a damn good excuse for this, this project isn’t easy, and we gotta pick it up if we want to do good on it.”
Hyunjin just stood there, mouth slightly ajar and eyes staring intently. He then stammered, “R-right sorry, I had quidditch practice before this and I got back to the dorm and just crashed… I woke up and ran here…um…”
He didn’t know what else to say. He was…flustered? Your eyebrows furrowed and your anger subsided in favor of curiosity. You’ve never seen this boy flustered before. Hyunjin always seemed level-headed and sharp, but with the way he was acting now, it was a strange new side of him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hyunjin questioned, kind of worried about what you would say next. “Are you about to scold me more or…”
You looked up at him and shrugged, a glint of teasing in your eyes, “I just think you’re strange. Now let’s get started on this project, chop chop.”
Your response clearly caught him off guard. “Wh-what, wait, strange? You can’t just change the subject like that, why? Hey, don’t ignore me.”
“Come on, I already started the research for this, you gotta catch up.”
“I-what?? You started without me?”
“Um, yea, you were late so I’m not the one at fault here. Now come onnn, I wanna get started.”
“Ah…okay okay.” Hyunjin was still a little flustered and confused, but he sat down beside you anyway and looked at the textbook. It seemed like he was in deep thought, just staring dumbly at the textbooks cover. He was still processing the embarrassing moment that just took place.
You had to flip the book open to the right page, and Hyunjin’s lips formed an ‘o’. You chuckled to yourself, figuring this was going to be a bit more fun than you initially expected. Picking up an orange, you began to peel it and handed Hyunjin a piece. He took it gratefully and you plopped a bit into your mouth, savoring the flavor as you started reading the textbook with Hyunjin.
And studying with Hyunjin was…surprisingly easy. He was cooperative, and if he had any questions, he didn’t hesitate to ask. While he very swiftly regained his usual calm demeanor, it wasn’t a stubborn or cold one as you had originally thought. He was just quite a bit more aloof and quiet, not like that’s an awful thing; although, it was as though he attempted to regain his composure. Despite that, you discovered that the two of you actually got along quite well. You were actually making good progress on the research portion of this project. Note-taking and finding the right sources were a breeze, which usually weren’t in your past experiences. It was a miracle in a sense, Hyunjin was able to make good progress, even with your lazy ass occasionally getting distracted. Which he quickly turned your attention back to the problem at hand. The only thing that bothered you, sometimes Hyunjin would get a blank look on his face. It would be in between the little intervals of conversation, and he would just go blank. No facial expression but he was clearly thinking, his mind was running, but nothing was there. It normally wouldn’t bother you, it was just how he felt, right? It was just the vacant look his eyes took on, they were cold and distant. Something about it made you uncomfortable. Those moments were rare, though, and so you just carried on.
Nearly an hour later, you stretched your arms in the air, flexing your fingers out. A yawn escaped your lips as you rubbed your dreary eyes, laying your head on the table between your crossed arms. Hyunjin’s condition was no different. He was leaning back in his chair, slouched and his head drooping. His hair fell over his half-lidded eyes while his arms were crossed comfortably. Sleep for these two drowsy sorcerers was imminent. The efforts of your work were splayed out across the table, messy hand-writing and orange rinds and all. Several open textbooks were stacked upon each other, the musty library smell and peaceful silence lulled you two to sleep.
The sun was beginning to set as an illustrious golden glow shown through the library windows. Rays of the intense orange glow shining spotlights upon the few library occupants remaining. As the sun sunk over the horizon, a particularly strong orange ray slowly crept its way right into Hyunjin’s face. He sneered at the disturbance of his sleep, squeezing his eyes before fluttering them open. His hand went to shield his eyes from the annoying light.
Hyunjin had to blink a couple more times to get a hold of his surroundings, temporarily forgetting where he was. But he quickly remembered whenever he was you snoozing away next to him. Your head on the table, using a textbook as a cushion. Your hair fell over your face, a strand getting caught between your lips as you snored softly. Hyunjin’s eyebrows raised curiously as he watched your lips move intermittently, you were mumbling under your breath. Sleep talking.
Hyunjin frowned. What time is it? He looked around the library, and there were simply a few students left, the sun was setting, and even the librarian was giving him a nasty side-eye. He cringed, remembering his entrance from earlier and figured it was time to go. His attention was turned back to you, he reached out and brushed the hair out of your face. Trying not to startle you, he placed his hand on your shoulder and shook gently.
"Y/n…” he prodded, but you were as still as a log, your cheek squished up against the textbook. Hyunjin prodded once more, shaking you a bit harder this time and still no response except a vague mumble of word salad from you.
“Tch, what a hypocrite,” he scoffed, but there was no ill intent behind the action. He raised an eyebrow, and his lips raised as well in a smirk. Hyunjin was plotting against you. He sat up and leaned in close to you with his elbows situated on his knees.
“Hey…y/n…” Hyunjin cooed gently beside you, “Honey, I love you.”
You smiled faintly, still snoozing, but you responded nonetheless. "I love you too, Minnie…”
Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, continuing deviously, “When’s our date?”
Your eyebrows scrunched and you mumbled something incoherently. “Bu..en..mmm… you asked me out?
"Yea, to Hogsmeade, remember silly.”
“Hmmm, I dunno.” you trailed off, a soft snore interrupted your thoughts. “Is about time though…”
Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed and a smug smirk gracing his features. He was satisfied, and what he suspected was true. Amused and planning on teasing you later, Hyunjin finally woke you up for real.
You lifted your head up and yawned as you stretched your legs, “What’s the time…?”
Hyunjin shrugged, looking forward he couldn’t help but smile.
“What’s that look for?” You sat up and turned toward him, seeing the weird smile he put on.
“Oh nothing,” he shrugged, then turned his head over his shoulder, the shit eating grin wider now. “I just discovered you talk in your sleep.”
A grain of dread settled into your stomach, small yet very obviously there. The unattractive feeling must’ve shown on your face since Hyunjin looked very amused. You gulped, a knot began to form in your throat as you muttered, embarrassed. “What did I say?”
You’ve often been told you slept talk. But it was mostly around your roommates in the late hours of the night, you never talked in your sleep in the day. If you did, Seungmin would’ve commented on it more. You were sure of that. You stared at Hyunjin expectantly, waiting for him to answer. But he only rested his elbow on the back of the uncomfortable wooden chairs and twisted his back, stretching it out.
“Ahh, that’s a conversation for another day. I’m tired and my backs killing me.” He whined as he stretched his back. Then rubbed his neck with a soft smile, “The library isn’t very comfortable.”
There was a hint of teasing in that grin. You narrowed your eyes. “Hwang Hyunjin, whatever I said stays between us, got it?”
In response, he winked and put a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. You narrowed your eyes playfully and smiled. Hyunjin stood up, the wooden chair squeaking against the floorboards, and gathered the leather-bound textbooks. Just as he turned his back toward you, he lowered his head to check the books in his arms and spoke. You noticed his hair brushed over his eyes.
“Have a good night, y/n.”
“You too.”
And so, not too long after you were sitting in the Ravenclaw common room. The tall walls lined with books from all over, old and new. Blue and bronze decorated the entire space, and the white walls stood elegantly. Exhausted and weary, but not tired enough to sleep so you just hung yourself on an armchair as Seungmin read on the floor beside you. You groaned as your head rested on the arm of the chair. Your leg draped over the opposite arm. You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed.
“Was working with him that bad?” Seungmin pulled his brows together, setting his book down and twisting around to look at you. You looked down at him, cross-legged on the floor and staring up at you. Shaking your head, you sighed again and just laid there for a moment.
“No, it wasn’t. But well, I don’t know. He’s odd.” You tried to explain, but the weariness throughout your body was impeding on your ability to think properly.
“Real descriptive.” He smiled and leaned his back against the foot of the armchair. “So, then he’s weird?”
“Well, no, but he’s not…normal? Not like it’s a bad thing, but it’s just, like he’s hiding something? I don’t know, Seungmin, like sometimes I see him and he looks so cold. And sometimes he’s so charismatic, you know?” You exasperatedly waved your hands to try to explain better, but Seungmin wasn’t even looking. He was listening, though, since he hummed thoughtfully. You continued, “I don’t know how to put it, but I can just sense something off about him. The more I think about it, the more he confuses me. You just can’t tell right away.”
Seungmin leans his head again the chair, “You’re thinking about him an awful lot.”
“Because he’s confusing.” You whined. “And now I gotta work with him for the next…oh I don’t know, a month? And it’s just going to confuse me more, it’s intellectual torture, Seungmin.”
“Oh, poor you.” Seungmin faux pouted, then let out a little laugh, “Are you sure you aren’t just, curious about him? Maybe he’s only confusing to you because you want to get to know him better. Mysteries always intrigued you.”
You pondered his words for a while, a frown settling onto your face. The sun had finally set and the only light in the common room was from the little lanterns spread about, gifting the refined room with warm orange light. Maybe Seungmin was right? But that couldn’t be the only reason to be so confused about Hyunjin. You were a naturally curious person, always have been, so it’s not impossible. In the end, you decided to drop the topic and try to go to sleep.
“Well, whatever.” You sat up and ruffled Seungmin’s hair up, “I’ll be going to bed now.”
Seungmin swatted your hand away and attempted to smooth his hair down, but it was too late. You snicker at him and stand up, making your way across the common room towards the girls’ dorms. You called out, tiredly leaning onto the cold, stone walls “Goodnight, Minnie.”
“Yea, see ya.” Seungmin yawned and lifted a hand.
∎∎∎
A whole week after beginning the project, and you and Hyunjin were well on the way to making the potion. It was going very well, and in your opinion, you were beginning to befriend Hyunjin. Despite his eccentricities, he was charming to be around. It didn’t surprise you that he tended to get along with most people. While he had his moments, be it a bad mood or whatever, you tried not to dwell on it too much.
Especially since the Amortentia was looking fantastic. The potion research paper and data were all gathered and written down. All that was left was the actual brewing and then the after paper. Fun.
So, after school for four days a week, you and Hyunjin brew the Amortentia in the potions room. Which was where you were heading to, the tapping of your footsteps echoing in the spacious stone halls. The chittering of a few students accompanied the background noise. Still, you figured most students were enjoying their free, after-school leisure time and weren’t trying to wander the halls. Unlike you. Not like you minded much. You’d actually be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this time spent with Hyunjin, the two of you actually got along quite well.
When you arrived to the potions room, you pushed the heavy wood door open with one hand while your other carried the supplies. When your eyes shifted up, the simple yet comical sight made you bark out a laugh. You experienced a short bout of Deja Vu. Because what you found was Hyunjin standing plainly in front of the cauldron, just looking down into it. He wasn’t in any sort of natural pose, nor was he leaning his weight anywhere. Hyunjin was just standing there, arms at his sides, and looking down at the caldron as if he didn’t know what to do.
He reminded you of a sim. Like from the muggle computer games.
And it amused you very very much.
“You look like a sim!” You laughed delightfully, closing the door behind you.
Hyunjin looked at you, brows pulled together in obvious confusion. He still stood in the default sim pose. “A what?”
“A sim!” You snickered, “Like when they don’t have any instructions.”
And Hyunjin just stared at you as if you were mad. He shifted his weight onto one foot and crossed his arms, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
You shot him a sympathetic smile and wiped a fake tear from your eye, really playing up the dramatic act in that moment. “Ah, that’s right. You, my friend, are a pureblood and unknowing of muggle luxuries. What a shame.”
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t answer my question, what the hell is a sim? Like, a simulator? What kind of simulators do muggles run?”
The boy looked perplexed. It amused you.
You laid your books down on the table next to the cauldron and took out a couple quills. “Nope, it’s a uh, a game. Like on the computer so it’s digital and doesn’t have any real world effects.”
“What’s a computer?” Hyunjin looked intrigued now, tilting his head like a puppy with his soft brown puppy eyes. Why did this guy have to be so good-looking? It wasn’t good for your emotional capacities, aka your heart. You sighed.
“You have a lot to learn about the muggle world.” Shaking your head, you stirred the potion in the cauldron. “It’s a shame cause all of it really had progressed quite far.”
“Yea, but they don’t have magic, how advanced can they really b-”
You jumped, twirling 180 degrees to face Hyunjin behind you and cutting him off with a gasp, “You don’t know about memes!”
“What the fuck is a memes??”
Oh, you had so much to teach him about muggles. Which is what you did, and to your pleasant surprise, he seemed interested. He asked a lot of questions, which made you quite happy to explain to him. You rambled on about the muggle world as Hyunjin kept an open ear, all while beginning the brewing for the Amortentia. While muggles aren’t as controversial to Slytherins as they used to be, many Slytherin and pureblood enthusiasts still turn their nose up at them.
Hyunjin, you were glad, was not one of them.
The first thing you taught Hyunjin was about gum of all things. You happened to have a pack on you and offered him some mint gum. You told him tons of muggles chewed it, but usually never swallowed it. He seemed a little confused at first. He didn’t complain and still seemed to like it though.
“Okay, so…today we added the ashwinder eggs and a handful of rose thorns” You read off of the instructions. “The potion needs to sit before we do much else with it, so we can continue brewing in about an hour. Then it has to sit for a whole nother day.”
You read over the specific instructions one more time to make sure and check yourself. While the potions ingredients were easily obtainable at Hogwarts, the procedures for it were incredibly tedious.
Hyunjin pulled a face mockingly, “Stir potion rigidly for ten and a half turns, let sit for five minutes before putting in sixteen rose thorns, blah blah blah.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” You nudged him and rolled your eyes, “don’t forget who had to get the ingredients because the bat spleens made you too squeamish.”
“You can’t blame me, those are disgusting.” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and scrunched his nose, just by remembering the smell in the supply cabinet. He sat down and made himself comfortable, throwing his leg around the back of it so he straddled the chair. He rested his chin on it and he stared at you. “I’m bored.”
You climbed onto the table, next to the cauldron and plopped down on it. Your legs hung in the air and you just shrugged at him. “There isn’t much to do other than wait.”
“Earlier…” Hyunjin began, a hint of wonderment in his voice. “You were talking about muggle games and what they do for fun. Continue with that.”
You smiled, “Well, that’s a broad topic…”
“Oh, let’s play the one. Um… Dare and Truth?” Hyunjin tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, then nodded to himself.
“Truth or Dare.”
“Same thing.”
Hyunjin surprised you in many ways, but you never expected to be playing truth or dare with the boy. Despite his slight confusion on how to play, it was a fun time and you ended up playing until the end. A lot more fun than you expected, actually. You’ve discovered Hyunjin was quite dramatic and a bit of a scaredy cat, refusing to partake in some of the more out-there dares you suggested. So, you were lenient on the dares since he was a newbie. Although, halfway into the hour, the game started to sound more like Would You Rather since there’s only so much two people could do with Truth or Dare.
Admittedly, you found Hyunjin very charming. He was distant in many ways, but still kind and charismatic. And oftentimes, you found yourself laughing with him. It surprised you how well the two of you connected.
“So…” Hyunjin hummed, taking his time to think of a question. “Would you rather…live as a muggle or a wizard for the rest of your life?”
You opened your mouth, then closed if after a second to think. Off the top of your head, you were about to say wizard, hands down. But as a muggle-born, your whole childhood was spent in the muggle world. Your entire family were muggles, and almost everything you knew was muggle. You loved the wizarding world, but you would most certainly feel homesick. “Um…muggle.”
Hyunjin looked surprised, “Why? That means no magic.”
He seemed perplexed, but you simply shrugged, “I love the muggle world. It’s where I grew up and where everything I know is. My family are muggles…I don’t think I could leave that behind.”
Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully, “It sounds amazing how they live so efficiently without magic…”
“It’s not as archaic as it sounds.” You laughed, “Muggles are actually very innovative. Now it’s my turn to ask you something.”
“Shoot. Oh, can I have another piece of gum?” He asked before you threw him another piece. He’s recently addicted to the mint-flavored gum you’ve been handing out. He wasn’t a big fan of gum before you, but now it just seems like he constantly asks you. The wizarding world does have gum, but it’s somewhat different from muggle gum. You guessed Hyunjin just preferred it more.
“So, would you rather risk your life for someone you love or have somebody risk their life out of love for you?” You smirked. Leaning back on the palms of your hands, you shifted; your bottom was getting uncomfortable from sitting on the tabletop for so long.
Hyunjin went silent for a moment, his expression dropped significantly. It looked conflicted and he slumped to rest his chin on the chairs back. Your smug smirk is wiped off your face as you realize you may have hit a sensitive topic for him, but you stayed silent and waited for his answer. He took his time, but he eventually looked up at you, sincerity crystal clear as he gave you your answer.
“I would rather die for love.”
The look of pure determination in his eyes caught you completely off guard. Your innocent question was answered thoughtfully by Hyunjin, who seemed to have strong feelings about it. At a loss for words, you blinked a couple times. You swallowed a sudden lump in your throat as you felt your heart thump wildly in your chest. These feelings were an unexpected turn of events, but after another moment, you smiled at him.
“That’s really endearing, I’m sure the love you feel is strong if you’re willing to risk your life for them.” You grinned warmly, then you pondered wistfully “I wonder if I could do anything like that…how that would feel to love someone so much in a moment.”
Hyunjin tore his eyes away from you, “Yea, I wonder what that feels like as well.”
∎∎∎
You sat across from Hyunjin, who was being very pouty at that moment.
Your arms were crossed, “Come on, get to work.”
He rested his chin on the table and looked at you with those big, stupid puppy dog eyes. “No.”
“We are literally in the library to do this stupid project,” You lightly whacked his shoulder, “now work.”
“I’m tired.” He whined and put his head down. His arms were splayed out on the table and pushed the numerous textbooks out of the way, ultimately messing up the study space. Hyunjin was not an easy person to motivate.
It was very late. The two of you have been in the library for four hours already, and for some reason, the Amortentia turned a weird green color. You were trying to find a way to remedy it without restarting the whole potion because it takes so long to brew. So you gathered as many potions books you could find and dropped them onto the table. All while Hyunjin attempted to work on the essay that was due with this project as well. And he was not happy with it.
“Y/n, I’m nearly dyslexic. Why did you make ME write the essay?? You’re the Ravenclaw.” He sat up and complained, throwing the quill onto the table. The light plink sound it made caused you to look up from the current book you were reading. You sighed and frowned.
“Look, I know you’re frustrated,” You then held up your textbook to face him. Allowing him to see the tragedy that was the potions book, it had itty bitty font with such confusing wording that even Shakespeare would cringe at it. “But do you REALLY want to read this horror story of a textbook. The dude who wrote this must’ve really been up his high horse. It really just sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo without a dictionary. He really just thinks big words and long sentences means better writing. Yikes.”
“Ah, come on it can’t be that bad.”
You gave him a look and handed him the textbook. “Okay, how about you read for a while and I’ll write?”
“Deal.” Hyunjin took the textbook and slid the parchment paper over to you, flicking it over carelessly and clearly happy to be rid of it. He obviously didn’t care much for this essay. You chuckled and shook your head.
You began by reading over what he already wrote, and it wasn’t bad, you just had to correct a few things before you started writing. Hyunjin only sat in stubborn silence, brows lowered in concentration. It’s wasn’t even ten minutes later when Hyunjin slammed the book down in frustration, “Listen, I don’t consider myself dumb. But what the hell does ‘DEFENESTRATE’ MEAN!!!???”
You calmly looked up from the paper, “The act of throwing something out of a window.”
“I’m about to throw this book out the window.” He ran a hand through his hair and took a long, heavy sigh. “Let me read it for like, ten more minutes and then we can switch back?”
“Yeah yeah, just let me know when. I bet you only last five.” You smiled and challenged him. Then got back to work, finding him a little cute.
“Yeah I’ll prove you wrong.” He muttered and began reading, this time with a dictionary on hand.
Time passed quickly, and soon ten minutes became twenty and you were getting suspicious. It was getting late and the library would be closing soon. The lights were dimming significantly as long shadows loomed through the library rows. Only about halfway done with the essay you take a quick break to see Hyunjin nose deep in the book. The worn leather bound cover clenched tight in his slender fingers as he looked slightly distressed. His hair was more ruffled up, probably from him running his hands through it a few too many times. But his expression was concerning, his lips were pulled taught and there was a heavy crease between his eyebrows. His eyes, especially, looked troubled and worried.
“Hey Hyunjin…” You called to him, concern lacing your voice.
“Hm…?” He didn’t take his nose out from the book, eyes still scanning the words of it.
“You can take a break, it’s okay. You just look…I don’t know, upset.”
Hyunjin finally looked up from the book and lowered it, you saw him swallow. His eyes darted away from you.
“What’s wrong?”
He looked at you intensely, as if he were analyzing you. Judging you. It made you fidget in your chair, shifting your weight once or twice under his burning gaze. After he looked away again, he began packing up. Quickly shoving the textbook into his bag with the rest of his supplies. He stood up, frazzled and unnerved, “I’ll check this book out, let’s get out of here and then I’ll explain.”
“Hyunjin, you’re scaring me.” You looked at him suspiciously, slowly packing your stuff up as well.
“It’s okay, I just think…I just think I know what the problem is now.” Hyunjin grabbed your hand and guided you out of the library. He took the lead since he seemed like he wanted to go somewhere specific. He was on alert and a little jumpy, walking quickly. So, you didn’t say much more and allowed him to just show you what he wanted to. Soon enough though he calmed down a little and slowed down his pace, now walking side by side with you. You were clearly confused and a little anxious, but his hand in yours calmed you a little. You weren’t sure if he just forgot to pull his hand away or if he held it deliberately, he was frazzled so it made it hard to tell. You decided not to bring it to attention.
Eventually, he pulled you around a corner and into a room you’ve never seen before. The door was designed differently from the other entries in the castle, it was larger. Hyunjin quickly shut it behind you and seemed to relax a little. His shoulders visibly relaxed and he took a deep breath, eyes closed.
After admiring the room, it was small. Just about half the size of a classroom but still enough room to not feel suffocated. The room was a little plain but had furniture in the middle, just a couple love seats and a coffee table. After deciding it wasn’t anything special except for a lounge room, you looked to Hyunjin. You took a step towards him, “Hyunjin?”
He opened his eyes and distanced himself from the door to walk past you and sunk into one of the chairs. He motioned for you to sit across from him. And you did, waiting patiently for him to explain.
“Um…so nothings really wrong. But…” he began but trailed off soon after. As if he wasn’t quite sure what to say. He folded his hands in front of him and looked to his feet.
“Then what was that all about?” You leaned forward, concerned and not quite sure of yourself. “You suddenly rushed out of the library, half-pulled me through the castle, and now we’re in a room I never knew even existed in Hogwarts.”
“Oh! About that, this is called the Room of Requirement.” Hyunjin gained a little more confidence. Seemingly to stall the inevitable conversation, he was so desperately trying to avoid. “It only appears to students who need it, and it changes depending on what the need is. And right now…I just needed a private space to talk.”
You nodded, still confused, “So it just…appears sometimes?”
“Exactly.” Hyunjin nodded and fell silent.
It stayed silent, and you just looked at him expectantly. He avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and fiddling with his hands.
“Hey Hyunjin…” You called, and in the most comforting voice you could, “you don’t have to tell me now if it’s this distressing for you. It’s okay, as long as you’re comfortable and when you calm dow-”
“No no, I… I want to.” He interrupted you and shook his head, but he still looked unsure of himself. Despite that, he composed himself better and calmed down. “I’m just…nervous? Maybe I’m scared.”
“You sound like you don’t know.” You said quietly.
“I’m the reason why the Amortentia isn’t working.” He said, eyes avoiding you and palms sweaty.
“Is that all?” You seemed dumbfounded, “Hyunjin, if that’s the problem then that’s okay! It’s not that big of a deal, this is only a bonus project and even then, it’s not like we were going to use it anyway.”
“No no, there’s more to it. So much more.” He said delicately, choosing his words carefully. “I…”
His eyebrows furrowed as if he wasn’t sure how to continue his train of thought. He tilted his head and continued, “Do you know what happens when a child is conceived under the effects of Amortentia?”
You nodded, “Yea, the child won’t be able to feel love. That’s why Voldemort…couldn’t.”
Hyunjin frowned but nodded. “That’s right. The child can’t feel love. That-that doesn’t mean they’re inherently evil, but the feeling of love just doesn’t come to them.”
“Okay, but why did you bring this up? Voldemort’s be dead for decades.” You were thoroughly confused now. Was Hyunjin concerned about the consequences of brewing this potion? Was the potion being brewed wrong? What did he read?
“Well, turns out…if a person who was conceived under Amortentia, tries to brew it, it won’t work. The Amortentia will have the opposite effect instead…not ‘love,’ but disgust. And it turns a green color…” Hyunjin explained, much calmer now, but the nervous glint in his eyes were still present. His long fingers were fidgety and you noticed his Adam’s apple bob.
“Wait, but our potion is…” Your eyes widened in realization, and your lips formed an o shape. Your eyes quickly turned sympathetic. “Oh Hyunjin…"
You quickly reassured him that it was okay and went to sit beside him. You took his one hand and held it between your own, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles over his skin. While his palms were a little shaky, he calmed down a little and proceeded to steady his breathing. Hyunjin finally got the courage to look at you, he lifted his head gently as he gauged you from behind his fringe. And you smiled, your eyes showed kindness and acceptance. You realized this explained so much about him. This was why he didn’t smell anything in the Amortentia, why he felt so cold at times, and why he wasn’t close to many people.
Hyunjin visibly relaxed, “I was afraid that you’d think I’m a monster.”
“Never, Hyunjin, I could never think that.”
“You’re unique then…most people do.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pulled together, a sad look crossed his face as his lips tugged down. He was reminiscing, but they obviously weren’t happy memories.
You squeezed his hand in reassurance, “I don’t, and others shouldn’t either. Hyunjin, you are absolutely not a monster and people who think that just don’t understand. They…are not the end all be all.”
He nodded and smiled at you, “You know, I’m really glad I’ve met you… This might sound weird, but I don’t think I’ve felt this close to somebody before.”
“And what’s close to you?” You tilted your head, wondering what feelings he felt for you if not love.
“I can’t feel love, but it’s more like trust.” Hyunjin nodded to himself, his gaze towards the ground, “It’s like trust and safety. And I’m comfortable and happy. And well, it’s not like I don’t feel happy around our classmates, I think I get along with most people really well. But it’s kind of like…I couldn’t care less about them. And I don’t say that like I don’t see them as people, I do. But to get myself to care about them and what goes on in their lives, I just don’t.”
“Then, how am I any different?” You asked, still curious about what you did differently.
And Hyunjin only shrugged, “I just feel more comfortable with you, most people tend to say I’m cold when they try to get close to me. They would get offended that I don’t seem interested, but you just…treated me normally. You didn’t push anything and just treated me as you would anyone else. You did it with a kind heart too. I guess you could say you were very loving in a way. I think it’s something I want and seeing you in love helps me. It lets me see what being in love is like.”
“M-me, in love?” You stuttered, caught off guard at Hyunjin’s sudden statement. You weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. Maybe it was Seungmin, or perhaps it was that he noticed you were catching feelings for him. You really hoped he didn’t notice.
Hyunjin chuckled, but it sounded sad. “The relationship you have with your friend, that other Ravenclaw, Seungmin. It’s very wholesome, anybody could see the amount of love and care the two of you have for each other. It’s natural and simplistic and… I don’t know. I guess I get a little jealous.”
Feeling your face redden in embarrassment just made you even more nervous. As your heart thumped loudly, you laughed nervously. And you tried to wave off Hyunjin’s words. “How do you know I love Seungmin? He’s my best friend, of course, I love him but-”
“Remember when you were sleep talking the other day?” Hyunjin’s devilish grin made your stomach drop. He was implying that…no.
“What did I say, I swear to god if you say anything to anybody you are a dead man.”
“Just that you’ve been wanting a date with the one and only Kim Seungmin at Hogsmeade. That’s all.” He teased. Which was conflicting since he seemed much more comfortable now, but he took the liberty to tease the hell out of you.
Immediately you covered your face and buried your head in your hands. Every time you attempt to confront your feelings for Seungmin, you get too confused and flustered. So you just tended to not dwell on it, mainly since it could ruin the friendship. You didn’t want that.
“Sorry sorry,” Hyunjin was very amused and ruffled your hair up, “I’ll stop, but only because if I continue, you’d shut down completely.”
You grumbled and rolled your eyes, “You’re not wrong.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, and you thought about what Hyunjin must’ve gone through in his life, it definitely couldn’t have been easy. He was scared to tell you, and you could only imagine what happened to him before to make him that nervous. It made you a little sad. You also thought about what he said about feeling jealous. He obviously wants to feel love, he wants to love somebody but physically can’t. All because of some stupid love potion. If there was a way to help him, you would.
“Hey,” Hyunjin called out gently, “what’s it like?”
“Hm?”
“What’s it like to love somebody?”
“Oh, well, it’s probably the most comforting feeling I know. And when you’re with them, the world seems a little brighter. You focus on the little things they do, and it just makes you fall even more in love, you just can’t look away. You just feel like you’re on cloud nine and you don’t want to come down. They’re on your mind a lot, and it’s a little stressful. But only because you want the best for them and for them to be happy. I would die for somebody I loved.” You thought hard and soon after the words just spilled from your mouth, you thought about your family and friends as you described it. Trying to put it into words as best as you could. And Hyunjin only nodded thoughtfully, otherwise staying silent.
“People care about you Hyunjin, I care about you.” You urged, “I hope you remember that.”
“I will, I promise y/n.”
∎∎∎
Back in the potions room, you and Hyunjin were attempting to fix the Amortentia. And he, of course, asked for mint gum.
“Okay, so, as long as I don’t touch it anymore, it should come out okay.” Hyunjin was reading the textbook, “The potion should go back to normal by the time it’s finished.”
“Sounds great.” You stirred the green Amortentia, the color was a far cry from the pearly sheen it was supposed to have. But you were going to trust Hyunjin on this and just continue brewing. So you threw in another ingredient and just went with it. “So, what now?”
Hyunjin shrugged, “Let’s play a game. Truth or Dare?”
You perked up, your lips tugged up, “Absolutely. But you can’t say no to dares anymore, got it?”
He grimaced for a split second, nose scrunching up, “Ah fine, but that rule applies to you too.”
You flashed him a toothy grin, “Easy.”
And you played. Usually, truth or dare with only two people wasn’t that fun, but Hyunjin seemed to enjoy it. And while you guys played, he asked about muggle things as you both chewed on mint gum. It was simple and it was fun, just like how it’s always been when you were with Hyunjin. You laughed as you finally got Hyunjin to participate in the dares he originally refused to do. And Hyunjin got a kick out of teasing the hell out of you. A while passed and the atmosphere calmed down a bit, it was your turn.
“Truth or Dare.”
“Um…dare.” You smiled.
Hyunjin got quiet as he thought, then a mischievous grin pulled at his lips. “Kiss me.”
“….?” You stared at him as you try to remember if you heard that right. “I… sorry what?”
“I dare you,” Hyunjin repeated as if talking to a child, the teasing glint in his eyes, “to kiss me.”
“You’re kidding,” you whined, and your cheeks began to heat up, “you’re just teasing me…”
“No, well, yes. But it’s your rule.” Hyunjin seemed to be serious about this, “You can’t back down now.”
Your eyes trailed down to his lips, then snapped back up to his eyes. Completely unaware of what his goals for this were, you were pouting and felt conflicted. On one hand, you were catching feelings for this boy, and they were getting stronger by the day. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him. But on the other hand, you also didn’t know why he wanted to kiss you, and there was that tiny little voice that reminded you about Seungmin. It was at the back of your conscious but it spoke up and let itself be known. You felt your palms beginning to grow sweaty and your mouth dry up, your leg began to bounce.
Hyunjin noticed your hesitation and took your hand in his, he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around you. He was incredibly close to you now, and as he leaned down, he was closing the distance. You were hip to hip, his one hand holding yours and the other pulled you closer. Your heart felt as if it were beating out of your chest and you were positive your ears were as red as an apple. His eyes locked onto yours, “I’ll make this easier for you, but you can’t back down. Okay?”
You swallowed nervously and fluttered your eyelashes as you looked up at him and nodded. You mumbled a quick agreement before pressing your lips to his, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek. You were nervous, but Hyunjin was comforting for you. His touch was gentle as he held you and kissed back. The kiss was soft and delicate. Your lips moved together in just the right way. And when you finally pulled back for a breather, Hyunjin leaned back in for more. Prolonging the kiss and tightening his grip on your waist. Your hand moved to the base of his head, threading your fingers through his hair. The kiss became deeper and more fervent, the delicate touches were replaced. And you stayed like that, relishing the sudden development in your relationship, neither of you seemingly wanting to let go.
And when you finally did, you pressed your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Your eyes were on his lips, one of his best features in your opinion. Hyunjin chuckled lightly, “I enjoyed that.”
He got your attention, and you looked up into his warm eyes, and you smiled back. “Me too.”
In Hyunjin’s arms, you basked in the aftermath of the kiss, and you realized one thing. Your heart was captured by this boy, and he wasn’t going to give it back. This gentle, sensitive, amazing boy had your heart now, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. After weeks of slowly building your feelings up, he swept it from your hands and held it carefully. As you locked eyes with Hyunjin, all your feelings were communicated to him. Feelings of love, caring, and understanding. Hyunjin understood completely, and as if a final promise to you, to keep your heart safe with him, he pressed his warm lips to your forehead. A sweet, gentle kiss to protect you as best he could. And you would like to believe Hyunjin gave a piece of himself to you as well.
And then you understood. Your heart was too far gone to go back to the way it was before.