Chapter Text
The first memory the queen wrote down in her journal was that of their first meeting. Of course, they had seen each other before in Garreg Mach's hallways, and they had probably shaken hands before during the class introductions or nobility meeting, so it wasn't technically their first meeting. But to Queen Marianne, this would always be their actual first meeting, and the one she held closest to her heart.
It was a few days after Marianne had first transferred to the Blue Lions class. It'd taken every bit of courage she had in her tiny body to go up to professor Byleth and ask her if she could maybe join them. It wasn't that she disliked the Golden Deer, but something about the new professor and the way the Blue Lions behaved made her want to join them. She was a bit sad about leaving Hilda, but in the end, they would all be better off without her. She knew it.
For that week, Marianne had taken on stable duty, as she always did. Unlike in her old house, where Hilda would come with her and keep her company, no one in the Blue Lions really seemed to bother with her yet. That was the way she preferred it – horses were much easier to be around. And so she spent her afternoon brushing several horses and feeding them, relishing in her solitude. That was, until...
'Marianne?' Suddenly, there was a familiar voice behind her. It startled her so badly that she dropped the brush she was holding, and in an attempt to catch it hit her head against the wall. She turned around, her face turning red with embarrassment due to that clumsy display, and prayed to the Goddess that the person who just entered the stables hadn't seen it.
'Oh, hello, Dimitri,' she muttered, quickly putting away the brush to avoid embarrassing herself even further.
'Are you okay?' he asked, and he swiftly walked over to her to check. So he had seen it after all. She looked around to see if there was anywhere she could run off to, but since he was coming straight towards her, it would only lead to more questions. There was nowhere to go, so she just averted her gaze and nodded.
'I am.' She swallowed, hoping he would leave now, but he didn't. Instead he came even closer, observed her for a second and then turned towards the horse she had just been taking care of, a wonderful stallion named Dorte. Dimitri was standing way too close for comfort, and she felt her body tense up immediately. Get away, was all she could think. Get away, or something bad will happen.
'I hope you don't mind me intruding, but professor Byleth sent me. Apparently she has picked up this idea that I should join the cavalry.' The prince sighed and shook his head. 'But I have to admit that I do not know too much about it. I have some riding skills, of course, but I get the impression that riding a horse into battle requires more than just technical knowledge.'
'I don't know about battle, but one of the most important aspects of riding is being able to understand your horse,' Marianne said softly. She put her hand on Dorte's neck and the moment her hand touched the soft fur, she immediately felt more at ease.
'I see.' Dimitri looked at the horse with interest, then followed her example and softly touched Dorte's nose. The horse closed her eyes halfway through, seeming relaxed. She enjoyed the attention, that was for sure.
So they stood there for a while in silence, Marianne feeling more anxious with every quiet second. She wasn't very good at keeping conversation in the first place, and the fact that the prince of Faerghus would be her conversational partner didn't make things easier. Claude was always so casual that she often forgot that he was even nobility in the first place, but Dimitri was different. He was dignified and calm, exuding regalness with every movement, even if he seemed somewhat uncomfortable petting Dorte. Despite the fact that when she entered the class he explicitly told her to call him by his first name, it made her somewhat nervous.
Eventually, the tension in her shoulders became too much, and the urge to leave was overwhelming. So she removed her hand from Dorte's neck, moved away and said nervously: 'I'm sorry, Dimitri, but I have to go now.'
'Oh, that is a shame.' Dimitri sounded legitimately disappointed, which caught Marianne by surprise. For the first time that day, she turned her body towards him, although she avoided looking into his eyes. He continued: 'I was hoping you could stay a little longer. Professor Byleth says you are very good with horses, so she thought you might be able to give me some pointers on how to bond with them.'
'The... professor said so?' Marianne felt her cheeks turn red upon hearing that. She did like horses, that much was true, but saying that she was good with them was a bit of a stretch. 'I don't know if I can help you. I'm not very good at talking to people, so I probably won't be able to explain things very well,' she said honestly.
'I personally do not think that these two immediately correlate,' Dimitri said. 'In addition to that, even if it were true, we can work around that. All that matters is that you are very skilled. You were able to befriend that new stallion last week, correct? Even the stable hands had issues with that creature.'
'You knew about that?' Marianne looked up, and more out of sheer surprise than anything else, her eyes met Dimitri's. They were a beautiful, bright blue, and took away her breath for a second. She immediately looked away again, afraid that it might seem weird to keep on staring into them.
'Of course I did. I was training in the Knight's Hall, and one of the stable boys specifically came over to me to tell me.' Dimitri smiled at her and suddenly, he seemed a lot less intimidating.
Still, Marianne couldn't help but feel that he oversold her talents. 'I honestly didn't do much. The horse would've been willing to listen anyway if that stable boy hadn't been so rough with him.'
Dimitri shook his head. 'You are far too modest.'
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That she wasn't modest, but realistic. That on the battlefield, she was of no use. That the only reason she could even understand animals in the first place was because she didn't know how to deal with real humans, so she just spent all her time with them instead. But before she could, Dimitri already cut her off. 'Regardless, I think you'd make for a suitable tutor. I have no intention to keep you here if you really want to leave, but if you have the time to spare, could you maybe give me some pointers?'
And suddenly, Marianne noticed that she actually wanted to help him. It was clear from the awkward way he approached Dorte that he didn't actually knew all that much about communicating with horses outside of riding, and if she was honest – he seemed nice. Niceness would be a waste on her, she knew that, but she'd probably disappoint him even more if she didn't help him now. So she picked up the brush again and held it out towards him. 'Have you ever brushed a horse before?'
Dimitri looked at the brush for a bit, then took it, holding it awkwardly in his hand. It was very strange to see the prince of Faerghus, who always looked so collected and well-coordinated, struggle with something as basic as holding a brush. 'I did it a few times when I was a child, but at some point my horse would usually be prepared for me by a stable hand.'
'Then, how about we start off with doing that?' She opened the stable door and entered the stable. Dimitri followed her, closing the stable door behind him. 'It's a good way to build a connection with your horse.' She demonstrated how to use the brush, then waited for the prince to follow her lead. He did so, brushing extremely carefully, as if he were afraid to hurt the horse. She walked around Dorte and started taking doing the same on the other side. The silence was thick between them, and she suddenly regretted her choice.
'I'm sorry, I know I'm not very good company. I'm not good at talking to people.' It had become a stock phrase of hers by this point: if she would just warn the other person that she wasn't worth their time, they might stay away.
'That's alright, Marianne. We don't need to be talking all the time, and...' He was interrupted by a sharp snap, coming from his hand. Dorte moved his ears and looked at Marianne for confirmation that everything was okay. Marianne, making sure she kept a hand on Dorte at all times, walked back towards Dimitri's side. There she saw the prince standing with the brush, neatly broken into two halves. He turned towards her and let out a sigh, his expression a combination of disappointment and embarrassment. 'My apologies for that. I don't always know my own strength.'
Marianne blinked, trying to process the fact that the prince of Faerghus had just snapped a brush in two with his bare hands. 'Is that why you were so careful with Dorte just now?'
He nodded. 'It was. Can I admit something to you?'
'If you don't mind sharing it with me, then of course.'
'One of the reasons I stopped taking care of horses was because I grew too strong for them. I kept accidentally hurting them. I know that the professor meant well when she told me to work on my riding skills, but I don't know if I'm really cut out for it.'
'I'm sure you can manage, Dimitri.' When she saw the disappointed look on his face, she couldn't help but want to make him feel better. 'I don't know if I'm the best person to teach you, but with some help, I'm sure you will be fine.'
'I appreciate the kind words, Marianne.'
'Oh, it's nothing. I'm not sure it's the same, but I'm terribly clumsy. Hilda always needs to clean up after me.'
'I see. Well, I suppose we all have our weaknesses, and mine just happens to be breakable objects.' Then, Dimitri looked at her once more. 'Say, forgive me for prying, but there's something I've been meaning to ask you.'
'Yes?' Marianne asked, unsure of what was going to follow now. Usually, the question that followed was about her Crest, and that was not a topic she wanted to talk about.
'Why did you join the Blue Lions? Do not misunderstand, we are overjoyed to have you, but I can't seem to grasp your reasons for leaving the Golden Deer.'
That was not at all what she expected, and it took her a few moments to find the right words. If she was honest, she didn't even truly know herself. 'I... just felt at ease with the new professor, I suppose. Professor Hanneman made us work in groups all the time, and I was just bringing everyone down. Then professor Byleth told me she preferred to train people one on one, so...'
'So you hoped that by transferring to the Blue Lions, you'd feel more at ease training by yourself with only professor Byleth guiding you. I can understand that,' Dimitri nodded. 'Although I hope that you find yourself feeling like a part of the group, regardless. I want the Blue Lions feel unified, and that includes you.'
He looked so proud saying that that Marianne wanted nothing more than to believe him. So, in an uncharacteristic bout of confidence, she said: 'I would like that.' However, immediately after that, the dark voice in her head returned. 'I just don't know if it's possible for someone like me.'
'It most definitely is, Marianne, and we'd all be glad to welcome you.' The happiness on his face was genuine, and for the first time since she transferred, she felt that she maybe had made the right choice.
There was a short silence, and a tension hung between them that Marianne couldn't quite place. She started panicking inside, searching for something to say, but eventually it was Dimitri who was broke it. 'So, do you think I could give it another try? Do you have time for that?'
'I think so,' she said, although she changed her mind a second later. She had no idea of what time it was, but she just remembered that she hadn't finished her tasks yet. 'No, wait. I still need to finish the professor's assignment. I'm on stable duty.'
'Then, let me help you. It's the least I can do after breaking that brush.'
'Oh, okay. I'm sorry for making you do my work.'
'There is no need to apologize for something that I myself offered to do,' he gently told her, but it only made her feel more guilty. She took a deep breath and walked back into the stable, Dimitri following her.
They spent the rest of their afternoon tending to the horses. Most of it was quiet, with Dimitri filling the void every once in a while by asking her to explain horse behavior. On multiple occasions, Marianne found herself wondering if he wouldn't have preferred someone like Hilda, who could just talk and talk, but he never showed any sign of discomfort around her. He was continuously friendly and patient, and it made her realize how different the Blue Lions were from the Golden Deer. Sure, they had their quarrels every now and then, but they all seemed so much more knightly than the loud, rowdy bunch that was the Deer. She missed some of them, of course, but overall, she might actually fit in with the Lions eventually.
By the time they left the stables, the sun had already set. 'It seems this took much longer than I expected,' he sighed. 'Marianne, would you join me for dinner, as a token of my thanks?'
'I, ehm...' She wanted to say yes, but she realized that it had already been too much. She'd already spent the entire afternoon with him due to her own lack of constraint, and if she would spend more time around him, surely bad luck would follow. 'I don't think that's a good idea. I'll eat in my quarters.'
'Oh, I see.' He was clearly disappointed. For a second, Marianne wondered if he might actually want to have her around, but then she shook her head again. It didn't matter. 'Well then, I will leave you be for tonight. Still, Marianne, thank you a lot for helping me. If you have the time, I would appreciate your tutelage again.' He bowed and smiled at her once more. 'Then, have a good evening.'
She wished him a good evening as well, and watched him walk away. And as she eventually turned around and walked back to her own room, she found herself thinking about the prince of Faerghus. He was so friendly she'd almost felt at ease, which didn't happen often. And before the negative voice in her head took over again, she found herself thinking one thing:
Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.