Work Text:
More Hiccstrid fluff!
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, Chief of New Berk, Tamer of Dragons, Defeater of Drago Bludvist and Grimmel Dragonkiller, hung limply, one arm thrown over the shoulders of the two Viking men on either side of him. His head bobbed side to side as they walked. The crown of flowers reduced to broken bits in his heavily rumpled auburn hair. His new bear fur chief’s robe lay askew on his shoulders, one of the nightfury embossed clasps undone. He smelled distinctly of ale. An incoherent mumble escaped his lips.
“We’ve got ya, Hiccup, don’t worry.” Fishlegs slurred to Hiccup’s right. “We’ll see you safely home and in bed.” The large Viking looked down at his friend with a look of sweet concern twinged with embarrassed guilt.
“Yea, bed. For the bedding. We’ll get you there even if you can’t stand for the occasion.” Tuffnut giggled on Hiccup’s left.
Snotlout affected the most serious expression he could muster, considering he’d drank enough to down a yak, stumbling alongside the three men. “Consummating your chiefly union is your solemn duty and, as your best friends, we will make sure you at least make it to the bed.” He laughed and slapped Hiccup on the back a little too hard with drunken bravado.
The stumbling trio almost fell over. Again. Narrowly saved by Ruffnut's support. Again. The thirty or so also very intoxicated Vikings following behind the wedding party broke into loud laughter punctuated by bawdy jabs. Again.
The village had gone all out to celebrate the wedding of the chief. The ceremony was beautiful. Hiccup and Astrid, so happy and in love, on a dais in front of a large statue of Stoick, their white and gold wedding clothes resplendent. The entire village cheering and many crying tears of happiness.
Vikings, of course, took no half measures in celebrating. Mead and ale had flowed freely at the wedding feast. The wedding coincided with the official completion of the mead hall, making it an even bigger occasion to celebrate. Even Gothi was tipsy.
And, of course, half the fun of any wedding was teasing the new couple about the wedding night. Most of the village had toasted Hiccup and Astrid with bawdy advice. Not that anyone actually thought anything new was going to happen on the wedding night, but the celebrating vikings found a perverse humor in pretending the newlywed couple were virginal. And Hiccup’s embarrassed blushes brought fresh cheers from the crowd.
Astrid had nodded and sipped at each toast, careful not to drink too much. Hiccup, however, as the chief, the groom, and a male, was expected to take a long pull after each toast. Nevermind that Hiccup had a reputation as a legendary lightweight. By the time they left the feast, Hiccup couldn't walk.
Only the most devoted celebrants had accompanied the intoxicated chief and his bride to their home. It was tradition to "witness" the consummation by heckling outside their home. Astrid's parents and Valka had wished them well as they departed the feast, avoiding the awkwardness of the next part of the celebration. Eret had disappeared around then as well.
“Ugh, this is ridiculous.” Astrid raised a hand to her forehead, still crowned by an immaculate circle of white flowers. Her white bridal gown and chieftess robe still perfectly in place.
“Ahh dinna fash, lass. We are almost there. And you wouldn’t want to deprive your people of the best part of a wedding.” Gobber patted her affectionately on the shoulder.
“I don’t really think heckling the bride and groom as they try to enjoy their wedding night is the best part, Gobber.” Astrid glared at the blacksmith.
“Well, ye havena been to enough weddings then.” Gobber grinned down at her while he twirled his mustache. “And here we are..” Gobber gestured for her to go ahead as he turned around to help the group of stumbling vikings maneuver Hiccup up the short stairs.
Astrid opened the door to their new house, completed just in time for the wedding. Someone, probably her sisters, had been in recently to prepare it for their arrival. The fire roared in the hearth casting flickering light on the pile of sleeping furs laid in front of it. Fresh food and drink lay on the table. Garlands of sweet smelling herbs hung from the rafters.
It was a warm, inviting, romantic image utterly ruined by the abrupt dumping of the limp chief on the sleeping furs. Hiccup snorted, rolled over, then lay still. Snot and Tuff nodded with approval, slapped each other on their backs, and stumbled out of the house, now leaning on each other. Fishlegs gave Astrid a look of apology before Ruffnut pushed him out of the house with her hands on his backside.
“Maybe keep him on his side, you know, in case he's sick.” Fish called.
Still on the porch and moving to close the door, Gobber winked at Astrid. “Enjoy your wedding night, lass.”
From outside, Tuff could be heard calling. “We have delivered our chief to the bridal bed.”
The crowd roared in laughter followed by only a few more bawdy jabs, mostly related to whether or not Hiccup would be participating in the wedding night. After only a couple of minutes, the sounds of the bridal escort could be heard returning to the feast where yet more ale offered better entertainment than an unconscious groom.
Astrid closed the shutter she had been peeking out. “You can drop the act. They’re all gone.” Astrid turned to see her new husband grinning ear to ear with smug satisfaction and sitting up in the sleeping furs.
“I told you it would work. Nobody noticed that Gobber was refilling my mug with water.”
“Only because they were so deep in the cups themselves.” Astrid rolled her eyes as she joined Hiccup on the furs.
"Thanks to my brilliant performance…”
“And the gullibility of drunk vikings…” Astrid couldn’t resist butting in.
“We have the rest of the night to ourselves. Whatever shall we do?” Hiccup affected a look of innocence.
“I think I heard some suggestions at the feast…” Astrid grinned coyly.
“Come here, you.” He gathered Astrid into his arms and kissed her deeply.
Constructive criticism welcome, comments make my day.