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Hal had no idea how it happened, really. Well, he had, but not the way it had happened.
The Guardians didn’t exactly pay well and Carol couldn’t pay him for hours he was in space and didn’t work, so when a payment warning arrived on his apartment door and he’d had a few drinks and suddenly he was calling Barry, who tried to tell him that he was on the Watchtower and couldn’t talk.
And he told Barry that he needed a sugar daddy. Hal was pretty sure he heard someone snort before Barry hung up on him.
The next time he was on the Watchtower, Spooky cornered him in some monitor room or another. “We should talk.”
“Jesus, someone didn’t die, did they?” Hal responded, joking at the sense of dread he got when Bruce opened his mouth.
Batman’s tome didn’t change. “You’re in a difficult financial situation.”
“I swear --”
“You called Barry and told him that you needed a beneficiary.” Bats continued, gaze focused on the monitors before him instead of Hal’s increasingly-astounded expression.
Hal stammered a bit. “You mean sugar daddy? Are you offering --”
“There is a tension between us, though I admittedly have yet to identify what type of tension. I have the means to get you out of your financial situation. Such an arrangement isn’t outside of the scope of what my alter ego would do. And I know about your duties as a Lantern, so it’s not exactly something I can or would hold against you.” Batman answered, completely avoiding the unfinished question.
“You’ve seriously thought about this, haven’t you, Bats?” Hal asked, clearly entertained.
Bruce’s expression didn’t seem to change, but at this point, Hal knew him well enough to recognize that he was blushing very lightly under that mask. At least, as lightly as Batman could admit. “It’s not a matter I would take lightly.”
Hal smirked, shit-eating grin making Bruce sweat under his suit. “You gotta say it Bats.”
“Say what, Lantern?”
Hal’s smirk grew. “You know. I know you know.”
Bruce sighed heavily before he turned to meet Hal’s eyes. “Do you want me to be your sugar daddy?”
Hal couldn’t help it. He laughed, wheezing out his howls of humour. It was a few moments before Hal could contain himself. “Was that so hard, Spooks? Holy shit, dude.”
“Is that a no?” Bruce ground out, blushing more than Hal had ever seen him blush. “If it is, we can go back to our professional --”
“Oh my god.” Hal huffed an interruption, grabbing Bruce’s face and absolutely snogging him. It took a second before Bruce reciprocated, pulling Hal closer by his hips. Hal hadn’t expected Bruce to be such a good kisser, but even as he felt himself run out of air he didn’t want to stop. Bruce pulled back and almost looked like he smirked when Hal’s lips followed his.
“So I take it you accept my offer?” Bruce responded, voice low and dangerously exotic. For a guy dressed as a giant latex bat, that is.
“Sure,” Hal responded, still close enough to smell Bruce’s champagne cologne, “just as long as you show me off. Bring me to Coachella or something.”
“I’ll throw in a Rolex or two for our first date.” Bruce responded, quickly removing himself from Hal a second before the door open, Flash standing there with a burger in his hand.
Flash blinked between the two, Bruce composed and Hal not doing a very good job of hiding his smile. “Did I miss something?”
Hal chocked on a chuckle. “Just dealing with my hangover. Got Spooky caught up in it. Speaking of, what’re we doing again, Bats?”
“Shockwave in the Pacific. We’re monitoring it for the next couple of hours to make sure it doesn’t lead to secondary shockwaves or natural disasters. Would you like to join us, Flash?” Batman asked, Hal impressed with how quickly he figured to drive Flash away for them to continue.
True to fashion, Barry groaned. “No thanks, I’m sure the two of you got it.” With that, Flash disappeared, Bats quick to lock the door behind him. Hal rushed up to him, pushing his body against the one before him.
“Should we get back to business?” Hal asked, lips already moving towards Bruce’s again.
“We should.” Bruce agreed hungrily, meeting Hal halfway.