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“You’re lying! Get away from me! Stay away, you devil!” Karina felt her stomach drop, her backing away just a step until she felt herself shoved, hitting the wall behind her before she was able to fall to the floor. She opened her eyes back up and watched Karl. He looked like he was on the cusp of panicking, anger set in his features.
“But Karl-” Karina started to protest, raising a hand up. “This isn’t a bad thing. We’re having a baby, I love you, we can-”
“Do you want me beheaded?! My wife, my daughter, my parents… you’ll kill them all if they find out!” Karl shouted, putting his hands on Karina’s shoulders and shaking her. “You think I love you? I love my wife! You’re just a warm body while she’s sick!”
“Huh…?” Karina shrunk back just a little, fear rising in her stomach at Karl’s expression quickly oscillating between fear, rage, and confusion. “But I thought…”
“Get rid of that child and don’t ever let me see your face again!” Karl barked at Karina, her expression turning angry. “I’ll see to it myself that you’re out of here if you refuse, you devil!”
“I’m not getting rid of our baby-” Karina started, feeling powerful hands toss her to the ground. She looked up at the one she had called lover, the one she wanted to marry, the one whose baby she carried within her. He reared a foot back and kicked her ribs, Karina choking out a pained noise before she gasped. “Stop!”
“I won’t let you kill me and my family!” Karl said, kicking her again. Karina let out another choked noise, her eyes burning while tears dripped down her face. She felt Karl’s hands in her hair, him jerking her up by her hair and glaring at her. “Leave. Now. Leave and never come back. I’m going to see to it that your job is as good as gone, you devils are a dime a dozen clamoring for jobs anyways. You aren’t special. Especially not to me, you’re just a hole to fuck while my wife is sick.”
Karina didn’t respond, instead swallowing and staring with fearful eyes at Karl. Wife...? She didn't know he was married, she thought he loved her... You slept with people you loved, didn't you? He scowled at her lack of response.
“I said get out of here and never come back!” He threw her back onto the ground, Karina shaking when she stood back up. She backed away slowly, turning around and running away. Away from Karl, away from the barracks, back to her home.
It wasn’t until she was comfortably in her room at her home that she let herself cry, heartbroken that the man she loved so much beat her and pushed her away.
But she knew she deserved it. Eldian devils didn’t deserve happiness, after all.
“You’re pregnant?!” Karina knew what to expect, her family didn’t know she was even seeing anyone. She hadn’t exactly gone around announcing that she was sleeping with a Marleyan man. She had wanted to marry Karl and ride off into the sunset but reality was hitting her like a ton of bricks.
“Don’t shout, mom.” Finn said, putting a hand on Karina’s shoulder. She glanced up at her younger brother and gave him a sad smile. He didn’t smile back, though, he just sat down next to her on the love seat. Karina’s mother shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.
“Who’s the father?” The obvious question. Karina’s stomach turned. What was she going to do? Tell the truth? What would her family think about her sleeping with and getting pregnant by a Marleyan man? Would they turn her in to protect themselves?
There was never any telling who would get rounded up. Even Dr. Jaeger’s son was sent to “Heaven” a couple of years ago due to being part of the Eldian Restorationists. Granted her sleeping with a Marleyan man and being part of a rogue group of people trying to overthrow the government were completely different… but the government could be odd.
Lie. She had to lie. Her baby’s parentage had to stay a secret.
“He was a fisherman. I’d been seeing a fisherman. But he was the first one I told, then he left and never came back…” Finn and her mother both looked at her seriously, her mother shaking her head after a few moments. She seemed to buy it. She glanced over at Finn. He didn’t look convinced, but he wasn’t pushing it.
“Skipping out as soon as he learned. Men can be cruel. That’s why you wait until you’re married to be intimate with your partners, Karina.” Karina bit her lip but silently listened to her mother. Surely her mother was disappointed in the fact that she was going out having sex, not just the fact that she was pregnant. “What are you going to do?”
“Huh?” Karina asked, feeling like the world was squeezing down around her.
“What are you going to do about the baby?” Karina breathed in and held her breath, looking at the floor. “I think… it might be in your best interests to terminate it, dear.”
“You mean…?”
“I think that’s probably a good idea, too.” Finn piped up, Karina turning and looking at him. “It would give you time to wait until you felt more ready to be a parent. I can tell you’re having reservations. Plus you wouldn’t have the stigma of being a single mother following you around.”
“I don’t know…” Karina shook her head. She felt like she was starting to love the baby. She certainly felt that way whenever she told Karl.
She loved her baby. But love wasn’t enough in this cruel world.
Karina sat alone in Dr. Jaeger’s office, kicking her feet back and forth nervously. To be pregnant and without a partner was scandalous enough as it was. Nobody in her entire family knew about Karl, as much as she loved him and desperately wanted to marry him. He was a Marleyan, after all, their relationship was illegal.
But she knew deep down he had to love her. He wouldn’t have slept with her otherwise, she was sure. Sex was something you did with people you loved. The first time they made love was magical, and she so desperately wanted to talk about it with her girl friends.
Dr. Jaeger came back into the office after a few minutes. He sighed and wiped at his glasses. “Sorry for making you wait, dear. Things have been hectic at home. Little Zeke is causing all kinds of trouble these days.”
“It’s okay, Dr. Jaeger.” Dr. Jaeger put the surgical tools on the table nearby, approaching Karina and checking her vitals to make sure everything was in order. “This, um… this won’t keep me from having babies in the future, right?”
She had to do it. It wasn’t time, she couldn’t have a baby now. Not until she convinced Karl it was all going to be okay and he realized that he really did love her and that someday maybe they could be a family. He just wasn’t ready for a baby yet, even if he already had a daughter clearly he didn’t love his wife because he loved her.
“…I can’t say for sure, Ms. Braun. Sometimes a woman’s fertility can be compromised.” Karina frowned and wrapped her arms around her belly. Would that be okay? Never having a baby if something went wrong? “It’s much easier to procure an abortion than it used to be. At least now you can do it in a doctor’s office. I assure you my tools are sterile and safe.”
…The baby didn’t do anything wrong. She had been so excited to tell Karl about the life they’d made together. She’s fantasized in her room that night about Karl holding their son or daughter in his arms. Sure, their relationship was illegal… but still…? What had she expected?
Karina started to grit her teeth. “Dr. Jaeger…?” She felt her eyes starting to burn a little, finding her nose dripping just a little. She brought a hand up to wipe at her face, his expression softening when he looked away from his surgical tools to look at her. “I… I think I want to keep it…”
“Oh, dear, it’s okay.” Dr. Jaeger approached Karina and let her cling tightly to him, rubbing the top of her head. “It’s up to you if you want to keep your baby or not. If you choose to I’ll still be here to be your doctor.”
Karina sniffled and wiped at her eyes, finding herself ready to cry while she clung to her doctor.
He shouldn’t be the one comforting her, the father of her child should be.
Her family had been frustrated with her refusing to reveal the identity of her baby’s father, but after a few months they had let the issue go entirely. Karina felt blessed to have such a caring family by her side to help her through such a trying time.
“Do you think your baby is going to be a boy or a girl?” Finn asked, rubbing his sister’s swollen belly. Karina chuckled a little, feelng the fluttering movement inside of her as her baby moved around. They were getting to be feisty, especially when all she wanted to do was sleep.
“Well, I’m carrying high so I’m probably having a little girl. That’s what they say, anyways. I’d like a little girl.” Finn smiled when he felt the baby’s movements, his sister patting her belly. “I’d like to name her Lulu if she’s a girl.”
“Lulu Braun. That sounds so cute. I know your hair is blonde but what if she got my black hair? Little black pigtails bouncing while she ran around…” Finn moved and sat down next to his sister, putting his hands behind his head. “I’m excited. My wife and I are probably going to wait a few more years but we’ve got names picked out, apparently she’s been planning baby names for both genders since she was a kid. What if it’s a boy?”
“If it’s a boy, I’m not sure if I like Reiner or Walter more.” Finn laughed to himself, Karina turning and cocking a brow at him. “What’s so funny, Finn?”
“I’m just imagining you naming your baby Walter. Walter Braun. I like the other one more.” Karina chewed the inside of her cheek, frustrated with her younger brother. Asshole. He was ruining the name. “Ah, I still like Lulu more. Hopefully you’ve got a little girl in there, then.” Karina closed her eyes and leaned her head back, resting and daydreaming about her baby while she felt her child moving around inside her belly.
She was kinda hoping for a little girl too.
It wasn’t fair, Karina thought as she walked around the marketplace. Her large belly was making it hard to get out as much as she would’ve liked; her baby was going to arrive any day now.
It wasn’t fair that her baby was going to be trapped in this internment zone while the baby’s father was free to travel wherever he wanted all over the world if he so wished. Everything seemed so small in the internment zone. It wasn’t fair that her baby apparently had half-siblings, unbeknownst to Karina until the day she revealed her pregnancy to Karl. It wasn’t fair that the whole world would call them an Eldian devil. Even if she was a devil herself, there was no way her child could be. They were an angel, she was sure.
All she really wanted was what was best for her baby. What that was, she couldn’t be quite sure. But she knew that her family was looking forward to the big day when they all got to meet baby. They would be loved, and spoiled as much as was possible. Not too much, but just enough.
The work she was able to pick up was difficult and not as good as the job she had where she had met Karl. Now she just cleaned houses for wealthier people who stuck their noses up at her. Their children had every opportunity in the world offered to them.
It made her feel like an inferior mother that she couldn’t give her baby the world. She could give them a roof over their head. She could give her baby food and shelter and so much love.
Maybe that’d be enough in the end anyways.
Karina’s face was cold and wet from all the tears she shed. She knew childbirth was going to hurt, but she couldn’t help but be alarmed and during the whole birth she just wanted put out of her misery.
Her Karl wasn’t even there to support her. She wasn’t surprised. But it still hurt. She had loved him after all.
Or maybe not. Because as soon as Dr. Jaeger handed the wrapped up bundle to her she wasn’t sure she’d ever really loved anything. At least not compared to the tiny human before her.
“A little boy. Congratulations, Ms. Braun.” Karina knew she had said she wanted a girl. But now she knew that a perfect little boy wasn’t a disappointment in the slightest. She brought the baby to her face and pressed a kiss to its forehead.
“Reiner. My sweet, beautiful little Reiner.” Reiner kept his little eyes closed, Karina gently rubbing his cheek with her finger. “You’re perfect. The most handsome little man ever born.”
Reiner wasn’t a devil. He couldn’t be. He was the most perfect person ever born. Karina was sure of it. Reiner yawned and opened his eyes, moving around just a little bit.
“Oh, my darling. I love you.” Karina let Reiner latch onto her breast, feeding him. His eyes closed back, him suckling for a few moments until he was full. Reiner yawned and blinked at Karina again before falling asleep. Karina laughed tiredly and nuzzled him against her chest.
“You’re going to do great things one day, Reiner. I know you will.”