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It was two am in the soft flickering glow of a neon sign when Edward realized he loved John. He’d been driving for, god knows, eight hours? Nine? It didn’t really matter. The playlist John had put on had played itself out hours ago, not long after he’d fallen asleep with his head pressed against the glass of the window. Edward had driven on, the hours of meditative quiet on the highway blurring into one mess that was difficult to untangle. He’d passed by what felt like most of the province, but that was all he really knew.
So he’d pulled off the highway, directing the car down an exit towards a gas station and the promise of acidic, bitter coffee to help fuel the next few hours. Once he’d turned into the lot however, he’d found himself unable to force himself up and out of his seat. The mind-numbing monotony of highway driving had stiffened his joints just as much as it has played with his head, and he sat there for a long moment. He knew, knew, he should wake John and ask him to drive the next few hours, just till they made it into daylight and onto the next leg of the journey. But then he had glanced over and the soft set of John’s face, his eyelashes casting long shadows down his cheeks as he slept had seemed so peaceful that he couldn’t bring himself to wake him. He stared for as long as he could justify himself, and then yet even longer as the realization hit him like a wall. It felt like going down a step you didn’t realize was there until you had descended; jarring and sudden. A fall in the dark that Edward was woefully unprepared for, even as he stumbled to right himself.
He gripped the steering wheel hard, and forced his eyes away from John, staring dead ahead. He needed a rest, a coffee, to get out of the damn car for just a moment. Edward jerked the handle of the door and the overhead light flicked on, sharp to eyes that had grown accustomed to the dark.
The sudden brightness was enough to rouse John from his sleep, breaking the spell that the silence and neon had seemed to cast over Edward as he turned to look at his companion. John’s eyes opened blearily, and he sat up with a slightly pained expression, his hand immediately going to his neck.
“Was I asleep long?” He asked and absently rubbed at what was undoubtedly a sore muscle, his eyes blinking as they adjusted to the light. Edward closed the car door, lest he let the cool night air creep in, and shrugged.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you,” Edward replied instead of answering, feeling very much out of sorts with himself. He hoped John interpreted it as fatigue, rather than the something more that it was.
John hummed a sound of acknowledgement and fumbled around for his phone, finally locating it on the centre console. It unlocked to show google maps still pulled up, the GPS tracking their location.
“Thunder Bay? Edward, you could have woken me up,” John said, glancing up from his screen, brow furrowed as he looked at the time. “You’ve been driving for hours.”
Edward shrugged again, a noncommittal gesture despite the guilty expression on his face. “I would have, eventually.”
A look of concern flashed over John’s features for a moment before he righted his face into something more neutral. The light in the car went out, and he looked out towards the convenience store, the soft red glow washing over his face again. Edward felt a bubble in his chest, a delicate yet overwhelming feeling that he wished were easier to ignore. His hands gripped into fists in his lap.
“Eventually, “ John repeated ruefully with the shake of his head before reaching over to grasp the door handle. “Shall we then? I could use a coffee.”
“Yeah, alright,” Edward said after a beat too long, and scrambled for the door, spilling out into the darkness of two am and onto the pavement of the Circle-K parking lot.