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Wen Ning has no heart.
Or so he thinks.
The organ in his body that used to beat rapidly when he was elated or anxious had dulled when he came back to life and unsurprisingly all the other emotions he felt.
The filling feeling of joy, the crushing weight of sadness, the warm spread of love and the haze of hate and anger had become a blur - almost as if they mixed and intermingled leaving him to have indescribable emotions that he is sure no human has ever experienced.
They're supposed to resemble emotions but instead they're just a void.
At first Wen Ning convinced himself that it didn't really matter.
After waking up, without his sister by his side, Wen Ning realized he preferred not having them. It was easier for him to obey the commands of the nameless tune and fool himself into thinking that he'll finally have internal rest like most of the other Wen's have when he felt nothing.
Dying was supposed to give them rest but it was only ever him among the last of his family that never did die.
What was once a blessing, surrounded by the people he loved, became a curse when he finds himself the last of his sect and he had to learn how to live with the emptiness of being the last, of being the only corpse general, of being the freak of nature that had a conscience but did not have any emotions while never feeling the sensations of a person who could experience everything that life had to offer.
His sister had once told him with love in her eyes and happiness evident in her voice that it didn't matter the way he came back to life, only that he came back alive as he was. But Wen Ning knows his time as Wen Qionglin has long passed. Despite Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui (Lan Sizhui, no longer A-Yuan - another reminder that Wen Ning is the last Wen) reminding him that he is still alive, no matter how much him being alive is enough of a denial of his death, to him, it would seem that he is nothing but a corpse, and someday he would rot, missing emotions that no person alive, would long for.
Still, Wen Ning can't help crave the humanity he once had, yet even his hunger for it is another reminder that he is only sustained by the more basic emotions of a beast and nothing else.
It takes two people to prove him otherwise.
Wen Ning hears the melody from a distance. It is far from the melody that is used to control him like a puppet on a string, but his body still follows the instrument that plays the sound.
The music is soft and slow, barely resembling that of any tune that he hears from Wei Wuxian's use of resentful energy using Chenqing which is forceful and fast, nor does it resemble the sound of Lan Wangji's guqin such as Wangji where it has the same strength yet gentle tune.
Wen Ning thinks that if melancholy had a sound, it would be the melody that he hears.
He is sure he doesn't feel sadness. It came hand in hand with not feeling joy. Now that his emotions have dulled, he realizes that they're two sides of the same coin - both equally overwhelming and something he longs for.
Nowadays, he only knows comfort, and even that is associated to the innate reflex of survival of relief.
Seeing Lan Sizhui, his lost nephew, had made him experience the closest emotion he could feel for joy and now the music he hears is giving him that same comfort, which is among the only things that he is allowed to indulge in.
Even so, Wen Ning's feet carries him closer to the sound, moving silently in the halls of the Cloud Recesses. Wen Ning has become a usual sight due to Lan Sizhui's presence and his known association with Lan Wangji's now husband Wei Wuxian, so when anybody sees a streak of black and red, nobody pays it any mind once they take a closer look and see Wen Ning. Wen Ning however, can't help but resort to his old method of keeping hidden. It had served him well as he hid from the Wens and it had served him well to the present.
He moves as silently and as quickly as he could manage and arrives to the place where the sound is loudest.
The music has led him to a place he has yet to explore in the Cloud Recesses.
The place is full of differently colored flowers, from peonies to violets, and just a little bit far off the path among the fields is a pond that houses lotuses and lilies where in the midst of the diverse garden stands a single residence.
As the leaves sway gently in the early autumn breeze, the familiar figure of Lan Xichen in the front of the hanshi, is playing the xiao with no audience but Wen Ning's unexpected presence.
Somehow, the sound of sorrow does not suit such a paradise-like picture. But the solitary figure of Zewu-Jun, back slightly slouched, hair in slight disarray and unhindered tears flowing freely makes Wen Ning think that everything is picturesque.
It has been a long time since Wen Ning felt awe and Lan Xichen's performance is something he knows is one that is meant to be private. But with the song lending to the fragile moment of everything around them, Wen Ning's feet takes a mind of it's own and stops him where he stands as he realizes he wants to listen to the sound more.
If he were alive, he'd feel guilt for intruding on such a private moment but it is a good thing that he doesn't feel shame and even less, the emotion of guilt.
So Wen Ning stays until the song is over and for the next couple of days, before Lan Sizhui invites him to a night hunt.
Wen Ning thinks that he no longer wants for anything and so he doesn't give any reason as to why he frequents the hanshi and stays longer every time.
In truth, he allows himself to indulge.
Almost as if he's finally finding what it means to take pleasure in something once more.
He fails to notice the blossoming emotions called forth by Lan Xichen's songs.
Lotus Pier is a beautiful sight.
Unlike Jiang Cheng who remembered every pillar and floor stained by blood, the brief time that Wen Ning was here to save the man from being tortured was not enough to engrave the devastation that occurred within it's halls in his mind and he allows the new Lotus Pier's beauty to overshadow the tragedy that happened in the place.
Gone is the silence associated with the dead, instead it is filled with people, bustling with activity and living their lives as if there were no ghosts haunting the place. The influx of people would have made other places look chaotic but Lotus Pier shines brighter with the overwhelming crowd. It was different from the Nightless City that had many guards on patrol that made it resemble a fortress instead of a place where people lived and the whispers that followed every Wen member were nothing but fear and misplaced adoration that never sat well with Wen NIng.
Here in the Lotus Pier, everything is different.
Wen Ning can't help but think that it was because Jiang Cheng had made it to be and Wen Ning thinks that perhaps it is one of the many reasons why Jin Ling adores his uncle despite his gruff exterior.
Jin Ling is a kind child, a little bit spoiled but he is equally indulgent to people that he cares about, among which is his nephew. It speaks volume about the man who raised him. Jin Ling was arrogant, it came with the influx of wealth the Jin clan had but he was also compassionate, forgiving even.
Amidst the tragedy that surrounded his parents death Wen Ning never thought he'd ever be able to enter Lotus Pier again without Wei Wuxian much less with Jin Ling’s consent but him accompanying Lan Sizhui with Lan Jingyi in order to meet Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen proved him otherwise.
Even if night hunting was the reason for his entry to Lotus Pier, he is thankful that he is able to wander around the place. He has to admit, the view in Cloud Recesses was beginning to become stale and the sights of Lotus Pier was a paradise comparable to the ones in the mountain.
He is cloaked in the morning as he explores. This earns a few stares from the people around him and Master Jin had immediately scolded him that he should refrain from wandering around in broad daylight.
Wen Ning could only say sorry in return.
He had truly forgotten, if only because his stay in the Cloud Recesses had allowed him more freedom that he was previously used to. But hiding from others is deeply ingrained in him and he had thought that he had become much more stealthier with his years of practice but apparently it wasn't so.
Wen Ning could only bow his head and relent.
At first Wen Ning feels pinpricks of disappointment at only ever seeing Lotus Pier in the silence of the night but he is proven wrong on the night he wanders around the place and finds that Lotus Pier is even more beautiful underneath the moonlight.
In the absence of the sun's rays, the numerous lanterns in the street accompany vendors still selling their wares, enough to illuminate his way but not enough to identify him as a fierce corpse. People are louder as they hope to sell their remaining wares and go home fulfilled and people do not seem to mind the cloaked figures that passed treating them as just another occurrence in the night.
Thus, Wen Ning learns to enjoy his time in the night, the hustle of the people around him, that speaks volumes of each other's familiarity and the jovial tune of voices reminds him of the Burial Mounds, surrounded by family and friends.
He takes comfort in it. It is a luxury he nevers considers he has and he finds himself wandering around while the others prepare for the upcoming night hunt, up until he is assaulted by a strong grip in his hand.
When Wen Ning turns to see the person who has gripped him in such a violent manner, Wen Ning can't help but think how very much like lightning and thunder Sect Leader Jiang is - unexpected and loud.
"What are you doing here?!"
Wen Ning has lost track, but the familiar tune of the xiao draws him in time and time again.
The tune he hears are not always full of sorrow but the more livelier ones are fleeting and are far fewer in between.
Other people who listen to the similar melodies time and time again, would complain of the monotony but Wen Ning has always loved the more melancholic songs, Lan Xichen plays. It envelops him in an actual cold that he has long forgotten and somehow it is more effective in reminding him that he is still alive, despite the late autumn days quickly turning into winter which prompted everyone but Wen NIng to turn to thicker clothing. Just like happiness and sorrow, the warmth and the cold are familiar in their extremes and he treasures the feeling in his skin that soft touches would not allow.
To him, the music mimics the touches he longs for and the warm embrace of his sister that has been long lost.
Wen Qing would have loved the melody, she had always enjoyed the more soothing aspect of music and underneath the lilting tunes of sorrow is Lan Xichen's own way of healing himself. Though Lan Xichen's music began with a longing for the past, it has slowly morphed into a piece of forgiveness, the strength to allow oneself to heal and let go.
Wen Ning doesn't notice, but he relates to the man more than he means to.
His sister is gone, and only he is left to stir the dust, he must carry on and carrying on meant living with the memory of every Wen worth redeeming and living his life in memory of them.
These days listening to music makes him feel as if he's fulfilling a dear request of his sister.
It is harder for him to stop.
Wen Ning finds he doesn't need to.
When the music stops, Wen Ning always finds himself wanting. The desire is a new feeling for even when he was alive he did not have much of it but now he realizes, he is more likely to cling to things that give him comfort when life is anything but comfort.
The music swells until it comes to a halt and Wen Ning's reverie is broken by soft words that still managed to convey anger or was it annoyance?
"It is only polite to introduce oneself, after listening in to someone else's own performance. Will you still not come to introduce yourself even when winter turns to spring?"
Wen Ning thought his heart had stopped beating, so he didn't think he could feel that same heart-stopping sensation of being taken aback.
Lan Xichen is staring right through him.
Wen Ning has never been good at meeting people's gazes.
Wen Ning thinks that if his sister was alive and Wei Wuxian had not burned bridges with his brother that Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing would have definitely gotten along.
Their strong personalities would clash but they would definitely work well together.
Jiang Cheng grabbing his arms, and somehow managing to drag him back to Lotus Pier is eerily alike on how his sister too, led him all over the place back in the day.
Jin Ling's wide eyes when Wen Ning meets the boy's gaze makes Wen NIng realize that this was Jin Ling's worst nightmare coming true and probably the reason why the boy was so insistent on Wen Ning being hidden.
Jiang Cheng twisting Jin Ling's ears reminds Wen Ning about his own sister twisting his own whenever Wen Ning failed to listen and seeing the scene makes him relieve the memory and the pain. He can't help but flinch as Jin Ling bends down and screams "Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!" while Wen Yuan, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen also avert their eyes as they try to spare their friend's dignity.
"Who told you to bring him here?"
"Uncle, we can't help it? He follows Lan Sizhui around and it's not like he'll be a nuisance when we night hunt?"
"Night hunt?! Didn't I forbid you to after the stint that you caused at Guanyin Temple?! I haven't seen you manage to grow a brain and I specifically told you that unless you find one, you'd focus more on your studies."
"Uncle, it's been a year and I'm so bored, Uncle. I'm tired of studying."
"So many people do not have the same privilege of having your education and here you are complaining about studying?! Do you really want me to break your legs?!"
"It's not fair! You have no right because Uncle Huaisang said you used to cut clases all the time as well. You even broke the rules in Cloud Recesses even though you kept on reminding me not to.
"I- This brat." Everyone flinches as they see Jiang Cheng raise his hand, Wen Ning also closes his eyes in fear as he sees a flicker of lightning playing across Jiang Cheng finger’s. Jin Ling holds his ground in front of the man and Wen Ning’s fear subsides when he sees the hesitation behind the outburst. Jiang Cheng’s own right hand is still gripping his arm, keeping Wen NIng close but the man has placed his other hand back to his side.
Wen Ning envies Jin Ling, he can never talk to his sister the way the boy does with Jiang Cheng, but the look on the sect leader's face by having been outsmarted is definitely among the memories Wen Ning keeps.
If somebody told Wen NIng that Sect Leader Jiang's weakness would be children/teenagers with puppy-like faces he wouldn’t believe them but here he is witnessing it as all the juniors turn towards Jiang Cheng with pleading eyes.
Wen Ning thinks, Jin Ling is more clever than he appears as he waits for the right moment to solidify his point once he sees Jiang Cheng falter even more..
"Uncle he's harmless. Have you even met him?"
In solidarity, Wen Ning tries his best to appear smaller than he really is. He doesn't need to, because unlike that particular day when the rain was pouring all around them and the thunder crashed as their emotions swelled and the memory of a sibling's sacrifice shined amidst the dark clouds where he stood tall in front of Jiang Cheng, this time he is aware that he is overstepping on the man's boundary. Amidst the junior's support, his cowering form and wide pleading eyes, Wen Ning could never appear threatening in front of Jiang Cheng even if he tried.
A long moment of silence follows which was just the juniors waiting for Jiang Cheng's expression to shift from anger to resignation as his scowl straightens and his shoulder's relax.
"He can stay." Jiang Cheng says, but Wen Ning knows that's not all there is to it. He tries not to show his enthusiasm just yet at having been given the chance to stay a while longer in the bustling town. "He can stay but I'll be accompanying all of you as well."
In all his years of being around Wei Wuxian, the days that follow make Wen Ning realize that he has never been close to Jiang Cheng at all.
And despite the awkward silence during the time they spend together somehow, Wen Ning feels as if he's being tamed.
His thoughts were scarily accurate as the only reason why Jiang Cheng decided to pardon him, despite the storm raging on inside the Yunmeng Jiang Sect leader was because as he saw Wen Ning, the man's mannerisms resembled that of a small dog.
Jiang Cheng is always kind to puppies and other dogs in general. It was the one thing that never changed even as life took away the last of his innocence.
And it had nothing at all to do with the fact that he had once loved Wen Qing nor with the fact that he owed Wen Ning an apology.
It was the least he could do for someone who supported his brother in a way that he never really could.
"Where do you go when you're not here?"
The answer to Lan Xichen's question comes unbidden. Ever since Lan Xichen had asked him to come out and join him as he played the xiao, Wen Ning has been hit with feelings of apprehension on why a man in seclusion would want company. Much less a corpse's one.
Wen NIng is still slowly learning that despite all talks of Lan Xichen to be polite the question Lan Xichen asks also takes Wen Ning by surprise and Lan Xichen determined expression in wanting Wen Ning to answer makes Wen Ning say,
"Lotus Pier."
It is the last place Wen Ning would say as he feels as if he was everywhere these days except in Yunmeng Jiang but his days always pass the quickest when he stays in Lotus Pier. Unknowingly he has been to the place for more times than he can remember but because days seem to pass by quickly in the company of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader, he has forgotten just how much he stayed in Lotus Pier.
"Oh." Lan Xichen himself, never expected the answer from Wen Ning, given how he heard rumours on how hostile Jiang Cheng was when it came to the remaining Wens. But Lan Xichen has never been one to pry into other people's relationships.
"What do you do when you are there?" Lan Xichen asks.
Wen Ning thinks he can list numerous things that weren't simply night-hunting. He is sure that Lan Xichen would like to hear more about his adventures outside as Lan Xichen continues his seclusion from the world, but as Wen Ning thinks about what he does in Lotus Pier, he finds himself feeling an emotion that he thought he'd never be able to feel again.
Embarrassment.
As he lists the things he did in Lotus Pier, it becomes clear to him that he spends every waking moment with Jiang Cheng. He eats all his meals with Jiang Cheng, trains with Jiang Cheng, explores the city around Yunmeng Jiang with Jiang Cheng and spends most of his nights awake near the banks of the lake with Jiang Cheng. Even his time with the juniors seems so little compared to the time he spent with the Sect Leader.
It would be easy to say the truth.
Spending time with one person has never bothered him, otherwise he'd stop doing it long ago with Wei Wuxian but he doesn't.
"Nothing much." Wen Ning finally replies non-nonchalantly, after his mini-existential crisis.
Wen Ning's expression is returned with one of Lan Xichen's rare smiles. Somehow, there was something bright that illuminated Wen Ning's face despite his dead-pan reply "If doing nothing could put even a semblance of a smile in a usual expressionless face then I'd think everyone would be happier and more content don't you think?"
Lan Xichen's statement makes Wen Ning feel as if he was caught red-handed. Wen Qing had always said he was a terrible liar. He wasn't even aware how his memory of Jiang Cheng could make him smile until Lan Xichen pointed it out.
Wen Ning finally relents and tells the truth.
"I spend most of the time with Sect Leader Jiang." Wen Nng sees Lan Xichen eyes widen in surprise and he can't help but hastily say, "He still doesn't trust me with Lan Sizhui and the other juniors so he doesn't let me out of his sight."
Wen Ning doesn't expect Lan Xichen to smile again, but he thinks he'd happily share his stories about Sect Leader Jiang if it made Lan Xichen happy.
Wen Ning fails to see the sadness behind it until Lan Xichen speaks.
"Sect Leader Jiang's trust has always been hard to gain."
Wen Ning says nothing, for Lan Xichen speaks the truth.
Lan Xichen continues, "I used to wonder how someone like him would struggle so much with expressing emotions and how it must've been a great disadvantage, but now I find myself a fool for being too open with my emotions."
Wen Ning has always known that he has no wisdom to share, and he can only offer silence in moments where he knows words of comfort are not enough. But for a man in seclusion, it is only reasonable for him to think that Lan Xichen is tired of the silence, of having questions in his mind that no one will really be able to answer.
Wen NIng is only grateful that he has spent enough time with Jiang Cheng to see a clearer picture than the one rumours paint him and Wei Wuxian to be.
And so Wen Ning speaks, choosing his words carefully "Sect Leader Jiang has gone through much pain." Wen Ning begins, though he knows they each have their own share of burden. "The distance between him and Wei Wuxian was caused by too many things left unsaid." Or so Wei Wuxian had told him. "For all that Sect Leader had wanted to appear strong, it isolated him and it hurts him till to this day."
Wen NIng knows he may be wrong. He has always been a younger brother , to Wen Qing and later on to Wei Wuxian. Even as he came to have his title of fierce corpse general, he has been protected by the people he had come to treasure. He had known he never stood alone. His sister stood with him till the end and Wei Wuxian had been there as his consciousness returned.
"Sect Leader Lan, I think the world needs more people like you, who are willing to be vulnerable and reach out. The Lan's are known for their virtues and your kindness has always been your strength. How then can any person hold it against you? Much less yourself who has been taught since young to see the good in everyone?"
"I- I could've done so much." Wen NIng hears Lan Xichen's voice break and it is the first time he has seen the man so vulnerable again ever since he's been invited to listen to him play.
There are no words of comfort that will convince Lan Xichen that he hasn't because Wen Ning knows the man still doesn't believe he still did what he could as a brother and a friend. Still Wen Ning believes it was better for things to remain spoken than left unsaid, "You've done enough."
And Lan Xichen weeps, not bothering to hide his tears.
Wen Ning wishes he could do as much to comfort Lan Xichen as well but he stays his hand and hopes that his presence is enough.
It is.
"Where do you go when you're not here?"
Wen Ning wonders how two people who could be so different would act so alike.
They are once again eating on the same table with various feasts laid out in front of them and Wen Ning is politely acting out like he can taste the more blander dishes, even though lately he's beginning to taste a few of the more tastier spices. If he was still with Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning would say he's been traveling but these days he's been following Lan Sizhui around and that meant going in between Lotus Pier and the Cloud Recesses. He knows Jiang Cheng knows it. He doesn't understand why the sect leader still needed to ask.
But Jiang Cheng's face tells Wen Ning that the man is expecting an answer.
Wen NIng sighs hoping that this won't turn into another failed attempt at small talk that he doesn't understand why Jiang Cheng is trying to promote for the past couple of days, "Cloud Recesses."
Jiang Cheng just gruffs, as he reaches for a cube of pork in his bowl and chews on it before talking once more. Wen NIng has never felt this awkward around Wei Wuxian but then again, Wei Wuxian talked a lot to fill the silence. If only he could imagine himself doing the same.
Jiang Cheng breaks it as he finishes swallowing but somehow the man only makes the atmosphere even more stale "I've heard you've been meeting with Lan Xichen? How is he?"
"Well."
"Well?"
"He often asks me stories about our night-hunting."
"Is that all that you do?"
Wen Ning nods, he doesn't know what Jiang Cheng is expecting Lan Xichen and him to do other than sit around. What else could someone in seclusion be doing?
"Yes", Wen Ning answers.
"Why don't we invite him then."
"Invite him?"
"To night-hunt."
"But - but he's in seclusion?"
"If a non-Lan is visiting him every month or so, then I wonder if the rules of a Lan's seclusion is so clear-cut as to not allow people to meet him or allow him to night-hunt. I'd like to speak to him as well."
Wen Ning can imagine Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng meeting. With how much Lan Xichen has become wary of other people's intentions, he thinks Jiang Cheng's brash manner can help Lan Xiche learn to trust again. Otherwise, Lan Xichen would just become extremely annoyed. But then again, it's not like he can refuse Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning has begun to notice that Lan Xichen is asking more and more about the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader.
There's a feeling of anticipation that pervades Wen Ning's entire being at the thought of the two meeting.
"I'll ask him if you could meet."
Jiang Cheng nods at him and once more the silence is back. Jiang Cheng offers him a bowl of food like always, and Wen Ning wonders if it's part of the reason why their meals always turn awkward. He still can't bring to tell the man he can't really taste food as well as when he was alive.
He still accepts it.
Nowadays, Wen Ning has a room in Yunmeng Jiang filled with an assortment of things, from clothes to weapons. He doesn't think he'll ever use any of them but still Jiang Cheng continues to give it to him.
He doesn't understand how things became the way they are but the room is grander than the ones he had in Nightless City or in Burial Mounds.
There are paintings of sceneries to places he remembers seeing, stories that he would tell the Sect Leader when the silence between them became unbearable. There is a wardrobe full of purple clothes he’d never dare wear in front of the juniors nor at Cloud Recesses where Wei Wuxian would tease him mercilessly for though he had once tried it on. However, the one thing in the room that made Wen Ning heart lean a little more to consider the room he was given in Lotus Pier as a home, is the bed made of Huanghuali wood. The canopied bed is more than just beautiful but is made with the softest cushions Wen Ning has ever had the pleasure to lay on and he never thought he’d sleep as soundly as he did. He could only imagine how Jiang Cheng sleeps at night but after wandering around aimlessly, he had found that Jiang Cheng had trouble sleeping.
Jiang Cheng never asked Wen Ning why he would stay awake with him. Wen Ning didn’t think it felt right that he got to enjoy luxuries that even the sect leader could not. Though there was nothing that stopped Wen Ning from leaving, no one asked him to leave either.
Jiang Cheng was-is, still suffering. His broken figure that was hidden in the darkness reminded Wen Ning too much like his sister who had once thought she could carry all the burdens in their clan. Wen Ning was sure Wen Qing would work herself to her demise if Wen Ning had not told her to stop.
It dawns on Wen Ning then, that despite everything the man had done and achieved, everything he owned, all the people who admired and looked up to him, Jiang Cheng still believed he was alone.
There was nothing Wen Ning could do to prove it otherwise, but even if it was just a little, even if it was only pity, Sect Leader Jiang may just need someone as well.
"I'm not sorry, Sect Leader Jiang. I always thought you deserved to know."
Jiang Cheng's laughter is hollow. The memories of that rainy day still haunts him along with the excruciating pain of the core transfer that no doubt Wei Wuxian might have equally or even worse, felt. "Don't be. At least I finally understand."
"He misses you, you know. My sister always told me siblings are not meant to be apart." Wen Ning wonders where he gained the courage to speak to Jiang Cheng so brazenly but he believes it's time for Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to start to reconcile. The two never hated each other in the first place and the distance the two were keeping from each other was clearly only hurting them both.
It is rare for him to see Sect Leader Jiang smile, and it never only happens in front of him. Still he’d like to see it more and he knows it will only happen in front of his family - Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian.
Unexpectedly, Jiang Cheng smiles when he replies, "Then if you could, tell him to stop wandering around the world shamelessly flirting with his husband and come back to Lotus Pier."
Wen Ning recalls Lan Wangji's face every time he tried to approach Wei Wuxian. He can't help but gulp once he imagines Lan Wangji's face once he deliver's Jiang Cheng's message. Wen Ning is sure he once confided in Jiang Cheng about him fearing Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng’s statement is clearly an attempt to tease him. Wen Ning still nods his head, not even considering the consequence of him agreeing to it, but Jiang Cheng smile is keeping him from forming good decisions, so he says "I'll try."
And Jiang Cheng laughs, and Wen Ning feels joy that he didn’t even know he was still capable of.
Unlike being with Jiang Cheng, spending time with Lan Xichen is not as awkward as Wen Ning feels it is. If only because there is no need for them to have lengthy conversations.
Most days, Lan Xichen plays and Wen Ning listens, and most days Lan Xichen asks about his opinion and Wen Ning could only stammer a response until Lan Xichen smiles at him again and continues to play.
They rarely have a sustained conversation nor do they feel the need to sustain it but when they do Wen Ning isn’t fully aware they had talked their time away. He finds that in comparison to Jiang Cheng he knows where their conversation starts and when it stops which makes him long for extended conversations which altogether isn’t dissimilar to how his conversation with Lan Xichen ends.
“Has Lotus Pier yet to be covered in a blanket of snow like Gusu?”
“No. Most of the lakes have yet to freeze over and some of the people still wear light clothing. Just the other day, Sect Leader Jiang told me why I was wearing such thick clothes underneath the sun but I told him it was going to get colder where I was going.”
With that, Lan Xichen laughs, Wen Ning can’t help but notice Lan Xichen usually becoming more cheerful at the stories of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader which had helped Wen Ning cope greatly in enduring the suffocating atmosphere between him and Jiang Cheng during their early days of staying together, just so he can have more stories of Jiang Cheng to tell Lan Xichen.
“The Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang is always so different from the rumours I’ve heard of him. He sounds more like a worried mother rather than an angry demon.” Lan Xichen says with a fond smile on his face.
Wen Ning couldn’t agree less he had heard stories of Sect leader Jiang and how he struck all Wen’s he saw dead on the spot. Wen Ning never really gave it much thought as he was half-alive but Jiang Cheng letting him somewhat stay in Lotus Pier was more than a cautious act. For some it could even be portrayed as a generous one.
The things he received were certainly telling that Jiang Cheng’s intentions towards him was no longer malicious, coupled with nights spent together, Wen Ning is beginning to think that this may be Jiang Cheng’s attempt to befriend him.
He can’t help but return Lan Xichen’s smile as he nods his agreement to the Lan Xichen's previous statement.
“What do you do when you’re together?” Lan Xichen continues to ask.
“Well..I usually talk about my time here in the Cloud Recesses.”
“Why the Cloud Recesses?”
Wen Ning doesn’t know why he speaks of the Cloud Recesses either, he thinks it’s because Jiang Cheng also likes listening to his stories of the Sect Leader in seclusion and Wen Ning had once used his tales to placate the man. He relays this to Lan Xichen, hoping that the man won’t mind that he talks about him to the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader more than he means to.
“Sect Leader Lan’s music is soothing. There are times where Sect Leader Jiang does not sleep and I try to describe how hearing you play here in the peaceful atmosphere of Cloud Recesses just might help him.”
Lan Xichen tilts his head curiously, “Strange. I never thought Sect Leader Jiang would be one to ask for help.
“He didn’t ask.”
“So he did not say he needed help?”
“He didn’t. But there are times where people don’t need to say that they do only that they need it. My a-jie was the same, and yet I saw her cry secretly on more than one occasion.It never hurts to extend a hand even if you aren’t sure if they need it or not.”
“Wen Qing must’ve been lucky for you to be looking out for her.”
“Not really, she was always the one looking out for me. All I did was stay by her and it was good enough. I tried my best to be present and she told me it was enough.Weren’t you like that with Huanggung-Jun?”
Wen Ning realizes he has made a mistake once it’s too late. Lan Xichen’s smile is gone and instead the same expression of sorrow is evident on his face.
Lan Xichen was loved and revered by people around him, he had family who care for him and ask about his well being, all things Wen Ning no longer had; yet Wen Ning could not understand how someone like Lan Xichen could be surrounded by so many people yet still feel so sad and alone, just like Jiang Cheng.
Wen Ning’s desire to let Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen meet only grows as his belief that the two men could probably help each other heal grows. He only wishes he had enough courage to convince Lan Xichen to end his self-imposed exile or better yet make the man happy.
Instead, Wen Ning frets as he tries to think about the different ways he can help lighten Lan Xichen’s mood.
Lan Xichen notices his distress and says, “You don’t have to pity me, Wen Ning. Wangji is merely spending time with his husband. He deserves to be with Wei Wuxian after years of mourning him. And it is not like I am alone.”
With all the thoughts invading his mind, Wen Ning entirely misses the way Lan Xichen gazes at him fondly when he says the last sentence as Wen Ning can’t help but stare at the way Lan Xichen’s hands, now rest slightly above his own.
Wen Ning can’t help but bask in the little warmth, Lan Xichen’s hands provide. If Wen Ning had only raised his head and met Lan Xichen’s own gaze, no doubt he’d surely be filled with it.
The day Lan Xichen meets Jiang Cheng comes sooner than Wen Ning thinks.
Wen Ning no longer feels the warm feeling that accompanies love but he has seen the emotion portrayed by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji enough that he recognizes how it can bloom into something more beautiful, no matter how turbulent it begins.
So when Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng meet, Wen Ning can’t help but recall thunderclouds in a storm. The ever present promise of something beautiful to come after is one that gives him hope for the two people in his life that he is beginning to think deserves it in the world.
Wen Ning is outside when the two meet. Jiang Cheng’s arrival and the purpose of his visit is a surprise to most people but Lan Xichen has been expecting him ever since Wen Ning has asked Lan Xichen if he’d like to meet Jiang Cheng.
There is no silence that settles between them as Jiang Cheng places his hands together and begins his greeting.
"Sect Leader Lan, it is nice to meet with you again."
Lan Xichen returns it. "Likewise. I'm glad to see you are doing well, Sect Leader Jiang."
Lan Xichen expected for them to talk like they once were, with the necessary politeness expected of two sect leaders but unfortunately for him, this encounter with Jiang Cheng was among the firsts where the man was intent on proving him wrong where it mattered.
"Let's cut with the pleasantries shall we?"
Lan Xichen is taken aback but he immediately recovers. He recalls Wen Ning’s words and uses it to his advantage.
Sect Leader Jiang is surprisingly easy to fluster. He can’t handle compliments.
"I've always admired the way Sect Leader Jiang can speak his thoughts openly."
Jiang Cheng frowns, distrust is clear in his eyse but Lan Xichen can see the moment when the Sect Leader realizes that Lan Xichen was speaking clearly as a tint of red begins to color his face and his usual confident speech falters
"I-"
Lan Xichen gets so few opportunities in his life to tease someone else without offending them, that making Jiang Cheng lose his composure makes him high on the feeling of doing mischief.
"I could see now why Wen Ning speaks of you so fondly." Lan Xichen continues.
"I-That’s..”
Jiang Cheng’s face is becoming more flushed and Lan Xichen thinks it’s enough for the day as he gives the man a break, "What was it that you wanted to discuss? Sect Leader Jiang?
Jiang Cheng breathes, standing a little straighter as if to make up for his blunder. "You- you really should be more careful with your words actions."
"Oh. I was only recently told that my kindness was something you admired. Did Wen Ning lie perhaps?"
"He didn't." Jiang Cheng coughs, his memory is hazy but he recalls his self-deprecating comments as he compared himself to Lan Xichen, listing the good qualities of the man that he didn't have, which was why he was sure Wen Ning would never choose him. He regrets drinking himself to oblivion after that particular revelation that he was in love with Wen, but Jiang Cheng regrets it even more now that he knows his comments have reached Lan Xichen.
"Once I asked if I could have your guidance as I admired you as a sect leader and that has not changed."
This time, it was Lan Xichen's turn to blush although it was faint. "That is high praise, Sect Leader Jiang."
"It is the truth.” Jiang Cheng declares. He admired how Lan Xichen remained kind in the midst of all the suffering he underwent, how unlike Jiang Cheng who became hurt by the person that was close to him, lashed out and paved before him a path of destruction. Lan Xichen, had endured the death of a brother and another betrayal but instead of anger, Lan Xichen had the courage to withdraw and find his own peace instead. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng still struggles. For him, it was only right that Wen Ning was with someone more kind and loving. Lan Xichen may still be in seclusion, but he is beginning to see how Wen Ning is slowly convincing the other to return to the cultivation world.
Jiang Cheng will not wait for that time to ask Lan Xichen to take care of Wen Qing’s brother and now another Wen he is letting go of for the better “Do you love him?"
"Oh. So it was about him after all." There is no hint of surprise in Lan Xichen’s voice. Lan Xichen may have been a fool to ignore the happenings between his two brothers, but he is not one to ignore the facts that are so clearly presented to him.
Wen Ning was in love with Jiang Cheng but it seems Jiang Cheng did not think so?
"I only ask to see if you returned his affections." Jiang Cheng says, which makes Lan Xichen question if he may have given Jiang Cheng too much credit.
"I was under the impression Wen NIng was in love with YOU. Each time he’s here he speaks fondly of your company."
"I - He speaks fondly of YOU." Jiang Cheng says resignation clear in his voice, as if it justified him giving Wen Ning to Lan Xichen without the man even knowing.
This annoys Lan Xichen more than he cares to admit.
"Then would Sect Leader Jiang allow it if Wen Ning would be mine and no one else's?"
"If he's happy." Jiang Cheng says and it becomes all the more clear why Wen Ning repeatedly compares Lan Xichen to the man in front of him.
"It's not good to be so self-sacrificing." Lan Xichen warns.
Jiang Cheng scoffs, "Are you speaking from experience?"
"No. If anything, I was too selfish." Lan Xichen recalls how much he had pushed for peace, had though it would benefit them if Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao could learn to become friends again. For months, he had convinced himself he was only trying to do the right thing but he finds that it may have been his excuse to keep the two people he loved close to him.
"He told me, you still blamed yourself." Jiang Cheng says although Lan Xichen does not acknowledge it. "I think he's just scared to tell you you're being stupid."
It takes Lan Xichen a moment before the words register in his mind and Jiang Cheng becomes quiet for fear that he overstepped but then Lan Xichen begins to laughs and Jiang Cheng is trying his best to not come off as confused. In truth, no one had the audacity to call Lan Xichen in such a way and even Wen Ning has only ever greeted his self-deprecating comments with silence. Lan Xichen had later realized the man had only done it when he was agreeing to some points although Lan Xichen could not fault him for considering his feelings. Indeed, Lan Xichen had once wondered if he what he was doing was simply avoiding the world like his father had once did. His thoughts lead to his brother, who had endured thirteen years for a love lost and yet had somehow not remained static but had grown into the self-assured cultivator he was today.
Lan Xichen knows things are changing.It was once his painful reality but Wen Ning is proof that he cannot stay trapped in the past.
I sometimes wished I died with them, but I think jie-jie would cry if I did. I can only continue living from now on. What good are their sacrifices for otherwise.
Wen Ning had so few words to say, that when he spoke Lan Xichen kept the memory of it close. Lan Xichen hopes he has to courage to move forward. If not, he hopes that there would be people willing to show him the way.
"Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Xichen says breathing in Jiang Cheng’s name “Wen Ning had often told me how he thought I'd value your honesty. Talking with you today, I find myself agreeing with him. Although you came here for an entirely different reason, I would still love to hear more about your thoughts. Keeping that in mind, Sect Leader Jiang, would you like to stay for tea?"
Jiang Cheng recognizes a ceasefire when he is offered one. He’s even more impressed at how Lan Xichen deescalated the situation before a screaming match occurs. He’s not sure if he should take the peace that’s being given, especially after calling Lan Xichen stupid but he can't help but confirm what he came her for. "I only came here to ask if you'd take care of him...He loves you."
Lan Xichen laughs again, Jiang Cheng completely agrees with Wen Ning saying that Lan Xichen's title is well-deserved. "You’re more of a mother-hen than you realize Sect Leader Jiang and I don’t think your statement is entirely true. I think our discussion about who gets to stay with who would be more productive if the actual person was present, would it not?"
Jiang Cheng considers this but he thinks it's too early. It was better for him to strike an agreement first. If Lan Xichen's words were true and Wen Ning really did love him, then it would only benefit him, if he could convince his rival to give Wen Ning up.
"I think it's best if it's just the two of us for now." Jiang Cheng decides, sitting down on the low table.
Lan Xichen could only smile at him as as he poured tea into Jiang Cheng’s cup, "We have much to discuss..."
Jiang Cheng's plan backfires as he finds himself becoming fond of the Gusu Lan Sect Leader as well.
It doesn’t take long for rumours to start. If life can be measured in years then mere months are but a short time. A few winters turn into spring and suddenly there is talk of Lan Xichen leaving seclusion. The cause? A chance meeting with a virtuous person.
Wen Ning recalls fondly how Sect Leader Jiang’s face scrunched in disgust and how all the junior’s different expressions as he mentioned it offhandedly. It had nothing to do with the fact that nobody considered Jiang Cheng a virtuous person but had something to do with the way Wen Ning had smiled during the conversation that followed.
“What makes you think I’m a virtuous person? I remember you implying I was an ungrateful brother once?”
“I-I”
“I’m joking. At least you know how much you placed me on the spot.”
Wen Ning has no doubt both of them remember that day clearly. The rain was pouring and he thinks how much it resembles one of those poetic moments that he read from his sister’s revenge books.
“I meant no offense.” Wen Ning says, the words are half an apology but half an acknowledgement that he will never be truly sorry for revealing the truth.
Jiang Cheng nods "You were only trying to protect him. I was too.”
“Sect Leader Jiang, Wei-shixiong is right. Underneath your scary face you really are soft-hearted like tangyuan”
“What?!”
Jiang Cheng somehow did not let Wen Ning call him a tangyuan go. Jiang Cheng, sipping tea while in the hanshi, confides in Lan Xichen who is desperately trying to hold back his laughter.
Wen Ning doesn’t know how he gets himself into these situations where he’s forced to be between two lovers once more but when he wanted to excuse himself both Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng had told him to stay. Wen Ning doesn’t think too much on how he feels relief in being able to witness the easy camaraderie that surrounds the both of them.
“Why are you still laughing?”
“Wanyin. It's funny because it's true.”
“I- If there’s anyone here who has a soft heart it’s either you or him”
“Eh” Wen Ning tilts his head, curious as to why his name would come up in a conversation between the lovers. He doesn't want a repeat of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.
“Well, you may be correct.” Lan Xichen agrees, smiling fondly at him. Wen Ning doesn't admit but there are moments where he feels lost during conversations between Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng. But he's had enough practice with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to just let these details go.
"You can both stay, it’s still cold this time of the month. The early spring rain can be harsher than the winter snow here in Gusu."
“If it’s not too much trouble.” Jiang Cheng says. Wen Ning only realizes that the two are about to spend the night together which is his signal to leave.
“Eh. I’ll just wait outside.” Wen Ning says as he turns to leave through the window.
Before he can, Jiang Cheng grips his arms again and Wen Ning is strong enough to let go of it but he doesn’t.
“Stay. Xichen-ge said he doesn’t mind”
Lan Xichen is smiling indulgently at Wen Ning, “I’d be happy with your presence here. And I think Wanyin would like it too.”
Wen Ning's not too sure about staying but he's weak to being invited, especially when it came to the two of them “Oh-okay.”
Wen Ning thinks he’d be sleeping on the floor, which is an upgrade from the usual roof that he has been used to sleeping when he was following Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji but when he finds two arms around him in the middle of the night.
Wen Ning can’t help but think if he’s meant to be enjoying a third wheel.
“Are you sure Wen Ning understands that he’s part of our relationship?”
“Why wouldn’t he be? He made it possible.”
Lan Xichen sighs, he has millions of thoughts and doubts about their relationship between the three of them but like always Jiang Cheng has the ability to push them aside and make him see reason. For someone who was rumored to be an irrational man when it came to emotions, Jiang Cheng showed much more maturity than expected. Lan Xichen loved him a little bit more because of it.
“You’re right.” Lan Xichen agrees.
They both turn to Wen Ning who is unexpectedly fast asleep between the two of them. His body is a little bit colder than the two of them but between the cramped space and their intermingling warmth it provides a nice balance.
“He’s beautiful when he sleeps.” Lan Xichen can’t help but comment. Jiang Cheng raises his brow, as if asking Lan Xichen if the statement was something to be debated about but Lan Xichen takes it as a gesture of the man wanting to be complimented as well. Lan Xichen loves both of them equally, so he says “Don't worry, you're beautiful too Wanyin.”
Jiang Cheng only scoffs, rolling his eyes in the process. The Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader hopes it's enough to hide his embarrassment.
“Keep your compliments to A-Yuan. I certainly won't argue with you on him being beautiful." Jiang Cheng says, he tries his best not to look at Lan Xichen but he's twice a fool than he was before he met the two of them and he raises his head only to see Lan Xichen pouting. "W-whats that look for?”
Lan Xichen doesn't answer him and only continues to look pitiful. Jiang Cheng all of a sudden feels guilty.
“Am I not enough for you Wanyin?”
Jiang Cheng is so incredibly whipped, so he says begrudgingly, "The 1st ranked most handsome cultivator looks equally as beautiful as he sleeps with the man sleeping in between us. Are you happy now?”
Lan Xichen smiles, it's not what he's hoping for but considering that he just heard Jiang Cheng describing him as the top ranked bachelor in the cultivation world speaks volumes on what Jiang Cheng thinks of him. “Very. I love you A- Cheng. I love you and A-Ning.”
"I - I love you two as well."
Between them Wen Ning stirs but the corpse general continues to sleep albeit with a smile on his face. Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng meet each other's eyes and smile at one another. Both of them think that Wen Ning must've heard their declarations of love.
The moment is forever immortalized as Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng getting ahead of themselves as they both eat their words in the future as they try and navigate how to tell Wen Ning that he's in a relationship with the both of them. But for a long time to come, Wen Ning thinks he's happily third wheeling while the two enjoy polyamory bliss.
And for now, that is enough for the three of them.