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“Right, you lot ask around, see if anybody’s seen anything suspicious. I’ll look for the cyberman.” The Doctor hadn’t wanted to bring Yaz, Ryan and Graham along for this, though she’d admit it was good to have somebody else to give a pep talk to before opening the TARDIS door. “If you see it, don’t approach. Just come straight back here to regroup, got it?” 

Yaz looked as though she wanted to argue, and both Ryan and Graham shifted their weight around, but none of them protested. They all knew that she could and would turn the TARDIS back around and drop them at home if they had any funny ideas about playing the hero. When she received final reluctant nods, the Doctor plastered on a grin and pushed open the door. 

“Right, looks like we’re...” 

“At a church.” Ryan finished the thought as they all stepped out, taking in the surroundings. 

“Are you sure this is right, Doc? I didn’t think we’d be back in the year 2020.” She ignored Graham’s question, instead following his line of sight to a group of people walking into the church. They were all wearing black, and a young boy at the back of the crowd was on a smartphone. Definitely looked like 21st Century Earth. 

“Only one way to find out. Remember, asking questions, to humans and only humans.” She led the others to the church door where they were met by an old man with a dog collar. 

“Hello. I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” He smiled sombrely, voice low as he ushered them in, waiting on an introduction. The Doctor jumped in before any of the others could. 

“Graham, Yaz, Ryan.” She said, pointing behind her to where each of them stood respectively. “I’m Rose.” 

It wasn’t the first time she’d used the name Rose. It was common enough on Earth, had been popular for a few centuries, and wasn’t a name she was likely to forget. And with the lone cyberman, the Master and Ruth out there somewhere, she thought it best not to be announcing herself as the Doctor every place she went. 

“Rose?” The old man seemed surprised, but held up his hands in apology. “Of course, we spoke on the phone! This way, come!” Well, that hadn’t happened before. Maybe she’d have to reconsider the name Rose. 

They followed the old man into a small room at the back of the church, with lots of flowers and a different robe hanging on the back of the door. The others hung back by the door while the Doctor took a seat at the old wooden desk. 

“I have to say, Rose, your voice is quite different on the phone, much more like your mother’s.” The Doctor gave a nervous laugh, and thought she better explain that she wasn’t the Rose he was looking for before things went to far.

“Well, the thing is-“ 

“Nothing to worry about!” He shut her down, which the Doctor thought was a little rude for a man of the cloth, but he seemed in a rush. Oh well, he did have a funeral to oversee, she supposed. “I just had a few questions about Mr Smith’s childhood. Your mother didn’t seem too sure of John’s education or home life.” 

“I’m sorry, John?” It didn’t mean anything. John Smith was the most common name in the country at one time, that was why the Doctor had begun to use it. 

“He did go by John, didn’t he? I know that most knew him as the Doctor, but most people tend to focus on the wider life.”  As soon as he’d said the word ‘Doctor’, she’d risen from her seat, backing slowly towards the door. 

“Sorry, this is a bit much. Back in a mo’.” She turned around, pushing Yaz and Ryan’s shoulders as hard as she could to get them to move quickly. “TARDIS, now.” 

A thousand questions were running through her head as she bolted from the church, her friends following close behind. Why now? What year was this? How did the TARDIS even get them there? Why now? With everything else going on, surely this could have waited?

Where was the TARDIS?

They stopped right where it had landed. She was sure of it. Just in case, she did a quick lap of the church, ignoring the looks she was receiving from her friends. She let out a groan, looking to the sky and talking directly to the TARDIS.

“I knew I should’ve upgraded you! You might be pretty, but the newer models would never do this!” Rounding on her heel, she turned back to the others. “Don’t speak to anybody. We need to find a way to get back to the TARDIS before we see anybody.” 

“I thought we were looking for the cyberman?” Ryan asked, and Yaz had her arms folded across her chest. Right. The cyberman. The last thing the Doctor needed right now, but still vitally important to the future of Earth. Though, not this Earth, apparently.

“Wrong. I was looking for the cyberman, you were asking questions. But you can’t ask any of the people here, especially not about the cybermen.”

“Cybermen or cyberman?” She wasn’t cross with them, really. She could see why it was an important distinction. But it really wasn’t a distinction that she had time for. Not if she was at the funeral she thought she was at, bound to be attended by the person she thought. 

“Why now?” She shouted out, trying to make sense of it all. “The cyberman. The Master. Ruth. Now this. It’s got to be connected, I just don’t see how yet.” Her mind was buzzing, connecting every line she thought possible before dropping them and picking up a new one. The gang were watching, exchanging worried looks. She was sure that they had a lot of questions, but the next voice she heard didn’t come from any of them. It came from behind her, familiar as the last time she’d heard it, new ears or not. 

“D’you think it was a cyberman that killed him?”

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If there was one way to describe the way the Doctor felt upon seeing Rose Tyler again, it was feral. Everything inside of her was pulling in different directions. The small part of her that thought of the girl fondly on occasion, and supplied the name “Rose” when she needed an alias, came bubbling up as though it had been bigger all along, just dormant under the surface. It had been billions of years for her, and yet only a decade or so for Rose. 

That part of her desperately wanted Rose to recognise her, to somehow put together whatever she’d overheard about the cyberman and the stranger at ‘John Smith’s funeral, and to know that it was the Doctor. Still her Doctor, somewhere inside there.

The other, more rational part of her needed to get away from this place unscathed, for Rose to turn a blind eye to any suspicion she might feel and to miss the fact that the person she was standing three feet from, though their appearance had changed significantly, was one that she shared a lot of history with. The rational part won over in the end, knowing that she didn’t have long to decide. 

“I’m Kate Stewart!” She blurted it out before any of the others had a chance to use her name. “Head of scientific research at UNIT. This is my team, bit young, mind. Work experience. Good for the community, always been a big believer. Well, apart from him. He’s a regular part of the furniture!” She motioned to Graham behind her, ignoring the looks they were giving her, as though she were deranged. Her hand instinctively reached for her psychic paper, but faltered last minute. Rose had seen that trick hundreds of times, there was no way she wouldn’t see through it. 

“Right.” She didn’t know if Rose believed what she had told her. Probably not, she’d always been clever. But as long as she didn’t question it, the Doctor might not have to deal with that. Give her an excuse, quick farewell, and then find somewhere quiet to wait for the TARDIS to show itself again. “You said cybermen.” 

“Actually, I said cyberman. Just the one. Just a few… enquiries.” The Doctor shoved her hands into her pockets, trying and failing to look casual. In the few seconds she was taking to regroup, to calm down, Yaz stepped forward and extended a hand to Rose. 

“I’m Yaz. I know it’s not a good time for this, but it’s really important that we ask people a few questions.” They shook hands. A nightmarish situation. 

“Rose Tyler. Though, if you lot knew how to answer a phone, you’d already know that. What kind of questions?” 

“Not her!” The Doctor had yanked at the back of Yaz’s jacket before she thought any better of it. This was getting worse by the minute, and even though it would mean Rose seeing, she just wished the TARDIS would land around them to save her from this. 

“Why not me?” Her eyebrow was raised now, and she was looking over Yaz’s shoulder directly at the Doctor, challenging. Once upon a time, that would have been very distracting, and she wasn’t entirely sure she could say it wasn’t now. She certainly took too long to respond, leading to Rose filling the silence. “I’ve been trying to get answers for weeks. Do you think that it’s a cyberman that killed him?” The slight cockiness vanished, and she folded her arms across her chest as she maintained eye contact. 

It hit her then, how this must have been for Rose. It made her want to drop to her knees, to take Rose’s hands in hers, and to somehow make everything better for her. And yet, she only had more questions than ever, so she couldn’t even consider doing anything so stupid. 

“Something killed him?” 

“Unexplained. That’s all the police have said. That’s why I tried to get onto you lot. I know mum rang up as well. You’d think kids on work experience would at least answer the phone.” If the Doctor hadn’t had so much time to think about her own mortality, she probably wouldn’t have taken her own (sort of) death so well. But she was desperate not to give herself away, and that seemed to be keeping her upright, at least. 

Did this have something to do with the cyberman? Or the Master? Ruth? Either way, she knew that she was not about to get Rose Tyler involved in any of it. She’d done that one too many times in her various lives, and there were too many lives on the line as it was, without adding her to the list. 

“Right, well. Er, like Yaz said. Not the best time. You go ahead, and…” The Doctor motioned to the church. “Er, we’ll come back to chat to you and Jackie later.” Rose stared for a long time. The Doctor almost motioned to the church again, feeling desperate. Graham jumped in. 

“Yeah, how about we come back in a week’s time, darling? When everything’s not so fresh.” 

“Alright.” She reached inside her purse, and the Doctor was about ready to kiss Graham for coming to her rescue. “What date will that be?” Graham panicked, but the question wasn’t for him. 

Rose was looking into her eyes, and if she’d pondered what it would feel like to have her recognise the Doctor, this was it. Her stomach twisted again. Graham was fumbling over his words, and Yaz looked as though she was beginning to put some of the pieces together, but also wasn’t contributing anything to save the Doctor. She couldn’t blame them, it wasn’t as though they understood why she needed saving. To them, they were just chatting to some human outside of a funeral. It was Ryan that eventually answered Rose. 

“Would you believe me if I said we were time travellers?” He was passing it off as a joke, and in most situations it probably would have worked, but everything twisting and pulling at the Doctor’s insides flipped. 

“Ryan!” She twisted around, the first time she’d taken her eyes away from Rose, anger flashing across her face. He held his hands up in defence, and Yaz stepped closer to him, obviously trying to diffuse the tension. 

“Maybe we’ll go wait inside.” She offered, and the Doctor was torn. She needed the others gone right now, but she also didn’t want to be left alone with Rose. Not right now. None of this was good timing. 

“S’alright,” Rose answered, voice far cheerier than it should have been given the circumstances. “The Doctor’s going to wait inside too. Walk in front, I’m not turning my back just to have you leave.” There was no question in her voice, and the Doctor didn’t dare object. She led the others back to the church door, with Rose Tyler following closely behind. 

“I’m not turning my back just to have you leave .” She couldn’t blame Rose for saying that. After all, she had tried to lie about who she was, and had planned on leaving as soon as physically possible.

But the Doctor still felt the twinge of an old, forgotten wound.

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The Doctor couldn’t blame Rose for the hostile reception. This was all wrong. Sure, a couple of faces ago and being reunited with Rose Tyler would have been a walk in the park. She had the face of a younger man then, probably younger than Rose. She’d been full of energy and optimism. Upon meeting Amelia Pond, Rose was still worst case scenario when it came to humans. Martha and Donna were happily living their lives now, as far as the Doctor knew, back in their homes, safe and sound. 

In reality, Rose being stuck in the parallel world had only been a tragedy for selfish reasons. It was only awful because the Doctor couldn’t see her. They’d promised forever, and had that cut short. Thinking back on how much it had hurt to leave her a second time, she couldn’t blame her for not rolling out the red carpet. But things had gotten much worse since then.

Amy and Rory. Clara. Bill. 

Rose Tyler might have been lost to her, but she was safe and sound, tucked away with Jackie, Pete and her alternative self. Or so she had thought. 

As Rose explained what had happened with ‘John’, the Doctor listened, waiting for everything to fall into place. For Rose to mention another TARDIS, or to describe a man that sounded like the Master. Something reminiscent of the cybermen, perhaps. Nothing. He’d just taken off one day, and been found dead a month later. It didn’t make sense.

“That’s it? He just upped and left?” They were sitting on steps inside the church. Jackie had led the guests away, and Yaz, Ryan and Graham had the sense to follow. The Doctor just hoped none of them got chatting to Jackie. 

“I’ve already told you that, three times.” She was annoyed, but her voice was still hoarse from crying. Mascara stained her cheeks and the Doctor was glad that she hadn’t stayed inside to listen to her eulogy. 

“It just doesn’t make sense. Same thoughts, same memories, remember? I wouldn’t…” Rose raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting to question the notion that the Doctor would never leave her. But she wouldn’t. Not through choice, and especially not as her mind had been then. 

“He said that he had to do something, to travel out. He was really into the idea, which made a change.” 

“And you didn’t follow him? You don’t know where he went?”

“Well, Dad was working away. I knew mum would need help with Tony.” The Doctor had a feeling that there was something Rose wasn’t telling her, but decided not to push it. If Rose thought it was important, she’d have told her. She might not have completely warmed to the Doctor’s new face yet, but Rose wasn’t lying about anything important. The Doctor would be able to tell. She swiped at her eyes, and tugged her sleeves down, shoulders curling into herself. 

“Are you cold?” 

“This place was built in eighteen-something, what do you think?” Rose watched as the Doctor shrugged off her long grey coat, pulling it from around her and moving to put it around Rose’s shoulders. For a moment, she thought Rose would shove her away, her eyebrows knitted together and she opened her mouth to protest. But in the end, the warmth of the coat won her over, and she begrudgingly put her arms through the sleeves.

“How long has it even been for you? How many times have you regenerated?” 

The Doctor neglected the first question, not wanting to get into all of that. She answered the second part though, before changing the subject.

“Three, since I last saw you. I don’t think this is the cybermen.” She motioned around them, then stood. If it had been the cybermen, they would have no reason to not convert John Smith, she reasoned. She told Rose as much, and began considering other links. “Could be the Master, I suppose. That’s an old… well…” Friend? She didn’t need to consider introductions because Rose interrupted. 

“I know. Just spent a decade with you, remember?” The Doctor nodded and turned away from Rose once more, thinking. ‘With you ’. At least Rose still considered her the same person, new face considered. 

“It’s a trap, isn’t it?” The Doctor didn’t give Rose an answer, just looked at her. Considering. “If it was the Master, or whoever, the only reason they’ve come here to kill him is that they knew you’d follow.” It made sense. It was clever. If the implications weren’t so dire, she’d tell Rose how clever she was, and she’d grin and tell the girl that she’d missed her. But it made sense. And if it had been a trap, pulling the TARDIS somewhere she knew would be important to the Doctor, then being here was only putting Rose in more danger. 

“I think you’re right.” She nodded at Rose, who nodded back in response, clinging onto the Doctor’s coat. 

“That doesn’t mean you can just leave again and say that it’s for the best.” Had she planned on doing that? Was she really so transparent? “At least come to the house, there might be a clue or something.” 

“Alright, yeah.” She could do that. Go to Rose Tyler’s house. Look for clues. Leave Rose Tyler safe and sound here. Take the fam back home, leave them safe and sound. Get on with whatever she had on her hands now. It was a good plan of action. She held out her hand to Rose, who looked skeptically at it for a moment before walking away from the Doctor towards the church doors. She left the Doctor behind to inhale deeply and follow, eyes fixed on the blonde. 

The Doctor didn’t know what she’d envisaged her alternate universe home with Rose to look like, but she was surprised nonetheless. There were pictures hung on the walls, her old self and Rose. Different places around the world. Some of them seemed familiar, and others must have been unique to this universe. Smiling. Arms round shoulders, kisses on cheeks. The Doctor smiled despite herself. 

Rose was making tea, standing in the kitchen with Jackie and Yaz. Ryan and Graham sat on the couch with Rose’s brother, Tony, who was telling them excitedly about a new video game he was playing. The Doctor had a lot of questions. No wedding photos, Rose wasn’t wearing a ring. That struck her as odd. Ten years, and neither of them had bothered to propose? She’d always thought that was what Rose had wanted, to keep him forever, chips for tea with Jackie and bad telly. 

“How long are you going to stay with me?” 

“Forever.” 

As the Doctor turned around, Rose came through the door, two mugs in hand and still wearing her coat. They made eye contact. Rose looked away. 

“Did he write you any letters while he was gone? Send any postcards?” As much as she wanted to sit on the arm of the chair Rose had settled in, nobody had told Jackie who she really was yet, and it might look a little too familiar. 

“He sent a text, that’s it.” Rose fished out her phone from her pocket, tapping a few times before holding out the phone for her to read. 

‘All going well, love you.’ 

Rose had replied: ‘love you too’, and that was the end of the conversation. 

“Not married?” She couldn’t resist asking. She really didn’t know why it made a difference to her, if they’d gone along with some human tradition. Not that it was wholly human, time lords did the same thing. She’d always assumed they would have. 

“No. It was never…” She was choosing her words carefully, and the Doctor wondered who that was for. “I’d seen so much, before.. I always felt a bit trapped.” 

“Not by him! Just.. the whole thing.” She quickly added, looking guilty. Sore spot, perhaps? None of the Doctor’s business. “I wanted to get back out there.” 

“I know how that feels.” Yaz smiled at Rose, who didn’t look wholly pleased by the agreement. 

“She’s always been like that.” Jackie chimed in. “When she was younger, she went off travelling with this man. She’d go months without calling me!” 

“Handsome, was he?” 

“Well, yeah.” Jackie didn’t look pleased to be admitting that, pursing her lips. “Not that he’d need telling that!” Rose smiled, looking down, and the weight on the Doctor’s shoulders felt a little lighter seeing that. Maybe she could fix all of this. She couldn’t bring Rose’s Doctor back from the dead, but maybe she could do something to ease the ache for her. 

They chatted a little, and the Doctor wasn’t listening to most of it. It was fine though, because she had three people there who were listening, obviously curious about Rose, and they could relay any important information. They’d been sitting there for an hour, maybe, when the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS rendered the room silent. 

“What’s that noise?” Tony asked, looking between his mum and the Doctor. Jackie looked ready to jump up, before the Doctor pointed at her. 

“Probably nothing. Wait here. Don’t any of you come outside until I say that the coast is clear.” She practically leapt towards the door, pausing only once she’d had it open and realised that the fam weren’t following. “Didn’t mean you, team! Now!” Yaz, Ryan and Graham all scrambled to their feet, following as she left Rose with her family. 

It was fine. If the TARDIS could end up here on its own without breaking, she’d just stop by again later to say goodbye to Rose properly. Once everything was fixed, and everybody safe. The Doctor took the stairs two at a time, ignoring all of the questions being fired at her as she led the group back to the TARDIS. The less they all knew, the better. 

“I’ll be having words with you later!” She told the old box as she opened the door, pleased to see that everything seemed to be in order inside. She wanted to be off as soon as she could. Drop the others at home. Undo the damage done with Percy Shelley. Back on track. Except once the TARDIS began to whirr, and the others hadn’t said anything, she looked around to make sure they’d all made it inside and that somebody had closed the door. 

There, by the door. Standing bold as brass. Hands on hips, and hair the only thing giving away the motion of the box. Rose Tyler. In the TARDIS. 

“Forgot your coat.” 

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The Doctor groaned, stepping away from the console as the TARDIS jolted to life. “I don’t have time for this now!” She ran a hand through her hair, weighing up the probability of the TARDIS landing back in Rose’s universe a second time, this time intentionally. She didn’t fancy her chances.

“I’m sorry, is me wanting answers inconvenient to you?” Having been in the TARDIS enough times herself, Rose wasn’t put off by the motion of travel, undeterred in her attack.

“I’m supposed to be going to the end of humanity to fend off the cyberman! Passengers are not ideal!” The Doctor motioned round not just to Rose, but to her fam. She had planned on dropping them at home before going on to find the lone cyberman. There was no way she could take Rose back to that Earth, though. Not in her time, where she’s been ‘dead’ for the last decade.

“I’m not afraid of a few cybermen.” Rose raised an eyebrow, constantly challenging the Doctor. She’d never been happy staying back on Earth, the time lord shouldn’t have thought that she might start now. 

“I am! When you’re around.” She turned on Rose, making eye contact but regretting the last part of her admission. Too personal. Strange, after all the time and given the regeneration.  “All of you, I shouldn’t be putting you in this much danger.” Her voice calmed, and she looked around at the others, pleading. Yaz stepped forward.

“We’re not going to leave you.” She wasn’t quite as confident in her refusal as Rose, still hoping that the Doctor would give in and that she wouldn’t have to find a way to disobey. “Anything we can do, we’re ready.”

The Doctor turned her back on both of them. She really needed to consider why she had such a fascination with humans. Especially humans who seemed to have a death wish. Though the humans who would listen to her warnings and stay on Earth wouldn’t set foot in the TARDIS. They wouldn’t look at her like she hung the stars. She busied herself with the controls, pretending to double check their coordinates and flicking this and that where she could. Behind her, the conversation continued. Yaz and Rose had probably taken her silence as permission.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced! I’m Graham.” He held out his hand to Rose, who shook it. She was smiling, though still looking over his shoulder at the Doctor as he spoke.“I was married to Ryan’s gran.” He indicated to Ryan, and Rose gave him a nod before Graham moved on to properly introduce Yaz. “And Yaz is a policewoman back on Earth.”

“Well, I’m still training, technically.” She shrugged, not wanting to point out that travelling with the Doctor was the reason for that. Rose didn’t seem put off, though, moving to sit on the steps inside the TARDIS.

“So how long have you lot been with the Doctor?” She asked, looking between them.

“A couple of years…” Yaz answered, though she furrowed her brow and looked at the boys for affirmation. 

Rose laughed. “Don’t worry, I know how time gets in here.” She looked around wistfully. The TARDIS had changed several times since she’d last been inside it, yet it was still recognisable. A bit like the Doctor, she supposed. The memories were still there.

“So how d’you know the Doc?” 

“Well, we used to travel together. He blew up the shop I worked in, so I didn’t have much else to do.” She grinned at the memory. It felt a lifetime ago now, and it had been for the Doctor. Several, in fact. Part of her wondered if the Doctor actually remembered the first time they had met, but she was too afraid to ask. 

“She blew up a shop?” Ryan asked, at the same time that Yaz asked, “How did you stop?” She smiled at Ryan’s disbelief, before taking on a more bittersweet expression, thinking on Yaz’s question.

“Well, I never planned on. I sort of-” Before she had the chance to answer, the Doctor was pulling her up from where she was sitting, pulling her over to the controls. Nothing was urgent. She didn’t make eye contact with any of the others.

“We don’t need to go into all of that.” The Doctor had been keeping them at arms’ length. She’d told them less than she’d told some of the other people she travelled with. Less than she told Rose, for sure. She’d thought it was safer that way. For them, but also selfishly for herself. They didn’t need to know about every person she’d foolishly gotten killed over her many lives.

“Is that why you were calling yourself Rose when we landed at that church?” Ryan asked. She looked up at Rose, who was looking back at her. She looked away again. The engine whirred and she was pleased with the distraction. Rose appeared beside her, voice and body language much softer now, speaking so that only the Doctor could hear her.

“How long has it been for you?” The Doctor looked up at her, but once again denied her of an answer to that question. Instead, she indicated to the screen in front of them, tapped it once before stepping away from Rose, speaking to the whole group. 

“We’ve arrived. End of humanity.” 

Chapter Text

“Go with the humans!” 

That had been what the Doctor had told them. Her new friends had obeyed, running towards their ship. Rose watched on, back turned on the Doctor. Yaz, then Graham and finally Ryan got onto the ship, door closing before the cybermen managed to get to them.

She wouldn’t lie, she was scared. It had been a while since she’d found herself on the frontline. Back in her parallel universe with her Doctor, there had been no danger. Though maybe that was the reason he’d never really felt like her Doctor. The reason they’d never agreed on settling down and starting a family. Something twisted in her stomach. She was still wearing the dress she’d worn to his funeral, this new Doctor’s coat draped over the top. 

When she turned back, the Doctor’s eyes were fixed on her, mind clearly racing. This was a different person, and yet Rose felt as though she knew her facial expressions, her body language. She wanted to know what this new Doctor was hiding. And yet she knew it wasn’t the right time. Brushing her hair back behind her ear, Rose plastered on a smile and forced herself forward. 

“What’s the plan?” She asked, hoping that if she acted in the same way she had before, the Doctor might treat her in the same way, instead of the horror and disdain that she seemed to induce now. No such luck. 

“Go back to the TARDIS.” It was too late for her to follow the others, so she should have seen that coming. 

“You’re not getting rid of me this time.” There was something in her face that Rose didn’t recognise then. She wanted to argue, but something stopped her. She looked away. 

“You can’t run around in that,” She indicated to Rose’s dress and the slingback heels she had on. “Go back and change.” Her voice was flat, detached. Extremely irritating, Rose though.

“How do I know you’re not going to lock the doors? Pop up with some-” her hand motioned in the air, struggling for the word, “image of you, telling me to leave the TARDIS to rot? That I’ll never see you again?”

The Doctor’s hands were on her wrists now. Was this the first time they’d touched this whole time? She was looking around, eyes everywhere but Rose, concern written on her face.

“To be fair, Rose, you didn’t pay attention to me then.” Her fingers were still on Rose’s wrists, gripping hard even as her gaze came back to the blonde’s face. 

“I saved your life.” Rose didn’t mean to sound cocky, argumentative. She was just stating facts. She wondered if this Doctor remembered that part. From the way she smiled faintly, it seemed so. She was drinking in Rose’s face, the first time she had properly looked at her in God knows how long. Between the touch and the heat that came to her face from the close scrutiny, Rose put out of her mind the question of if she felt the same way about this Doctor. They certainly still had the ability to mess with her head. 

“Yeah, you did.” Her voice was soft, then, “Our first kiss.” Rose had no time to splutter or fail to respond to that, because the Doctor had turned her grip on Rose’s wrist, tugging her along, back towards the TARDIS.

“You do remember, then? Can’t have been that long. What, a decade?” The Doctor didn’t answer right away, waiting until they were almost at the blue doors of the TARDIS, voice even when she did, clearly intentionally so.

“Would you believe me if I said it had been billions of years?” Was that a joke? She wasn’t laughing. The way she was acting like she’d seen a ghost around Rose. The refusal to answer her question earlier. These friends of hers didn’t know about her, the way Martha and Donna had when she’d met them. 

“You’re not joking, are you?” She pulled her arm from the Doctor’s grip, stopping still and eyebrows knitting together as she looked at the Doctor in disbelief. The Doctor didn’t respond, obviously more interested in watching Rose’s reaction play out. Maybe she was afraid to say more. Maybe she was busy concocting a clever lie to calm Rose down. Unlikely.

“Well, God! No wonder you didn’t want me coming with you! Billions of years, so I’m what? Some sort of space one night stand !” Anger, hurt, disbelief. She couldn’t put her finger on exactly what she was feeling, face hot and suddenly regretting following the Doctor. She should have stayed at home and let herself carry on thinking of her time with the Doctor in the rose-tinted way she had. Now she had to face the reality that she was just one of many, one in a revolving door of stupid young girls (and apparently boys) to follow the Doctor and fall madly in love with them. The Doctor laughed. Actually had the audacity to laugh.

“Rose Tyler,” She stepped closer to Rose, ignoring the way she recoiled from her touch. “You were quite possibly the first human I loved. Definitely the first in a long time after the war. And the last, for a long time. You helped me see I could be happy , even after everything I thought about myself! That I could still love!” The retort about the Doctor never telling her so got lost in her throat, unable to speak, or to break the eye contact that the Doctor was finally willing to make. 

“Besides,” The Doctor continued, opening the TARDIS door and leading Rose inside, “All of the billions of years were spent in a sort of cheap prison cell, so you weren’t missing much.” Her voice was light now, a smile on the Doctor’s face, and yet that only gave Rose even more questions. No time to ask, though. “Go and find something to wear. I’m sure everything’s exactly as you left it back there.” 

She was still afraid that this was a trick, that the Doctor would leave the TARDIS as soon as her back was turned, and send her home never to see them again. It was like the Doctor could read her mind. She sat down on the stairs of the TARDIS, giving Rose a soft smile. “I’ll wait here.”

Chapter Text

“You still had my old stuff.” Rose was tugging at one of her old shirts, a little tight on her now but still Rose. “And you called yourself Rose before.” There was something in her voice, but the Doctor wasn’t sure. Confusion? Accusation?

“Yeah.” The Doctor nodded, glad that the raised voices had passed, though her mind was racing just as fast. 

“Why?”

“You know why,” The Doctor’s voice didn’t carry the confidence she had hoped it would. She’d said it, earlier. Not in so many words, but she’d definitely used the word ‘love’. The moment had passed now though, replaced with trepidation. She couldn’t dwell on that, needed to get Rose back to safety. Needed to get the others back to safety, too.

 “You don’t have to do this.” Her words were more frantic now, as she took Rose’s hands, brows furrowed as she looked deep in the girl’s eyes. “I can… drop you somewhere. Safe. I’ll get the others back to safety, and then I’ll come back for you! We can… do whatever, go wherever!” Everything had gotten so complicated, surely just a moment fantasizing about forever with Rose Tyler was allowed. 

Rose smiled at her sadly. She reached a hand to the Doctor’s face.

“You’re not going to do that. You don’t want to, not really.” The gravity of this was finally reaching the Doctor. Rose’s touch, and the heat of her stare. She was going to have to say goodbye to her again. Sooner or later, it could never be the forever they had promised. Wasn’t she allowed a moment of denial before she faced that?

“I do.” Petulance filled her voice. “I’d give anything to go back. It was so simple, back then. Watching the world end, eating chips. We used to laugh.” Rose’s gaze stayed on her. Frowning. Lines that hadn’t been there before, prominent. Still as perfect as she had always been in the Doctor’s eyes, though. She was silent for long enough that the Doctor thought she might seriously be considering her proposition. Instead, she smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss the Doctor’s forehead.

“Come on,” Rose laced her fingers with the Doctor’s, giving a tug towards the TARDIS door. “Time to do the right thing. Chips later.” 

Rose Tyler and beaches had proven to be a bad combination. She gripped on tight to the girl’s hand as she spoke to Yaz over the radio, only letting go in despair as she lost contact. They had made it to the boundary. But she still had no idea if the others would make it yet. Options flew through her mind. Leave Rose at the boundary with Ethan and Ko Sharmus. Wait with them for the fam to arrive. Head back somehow and try to rescue the fam. Go through the boundary. Go through the Boundary with Rose. 

It was too risky, and she knew that. She’d already got Rose trapped in one alternate universe, there was no way she could traipse her through this boundary, not knowing where she would end up or if she’d be able to make it back to her family safely. And yet she also couldn’t leave Rose here. Not again. Not when she didn’t know if she’d ever see her again.It was too familiar, and given the amount of regret she’d harboured the first time, it was not a mistake she was likely to make again.

The Doctor paced, and must have looked mad. None of the options were good, so she needed to decide which was the least bad, and she needed to decide quickly. 

The boundary glowed bright, filling the whole beach like a sunset. The sand slowed her pacing, and the glow slowed her thinking. What was on the other side of the boundary? Were the other humans still there? Did it lead to the same place every time? They were about to get answers. It was clearing, ready to be passed. She walked out, ignoring the water lashing at her feet, ignoring that Rose was following close behind, their hands close to touching as she reached back to her. It was a plea, to stay behind her. To let her think. The image cleared.

“What is that?” Ethan asked. Ko Sharmus said that he’d never seen it like that before. But the Doctor had. Rose’s fingers found hers, and it felt like all of the breath left her body. 

“That’s my home planet. That’s Gallifrey.”

“But-” She shot Rose a look. She’d apologize later. But she had no time to explain to her everything that had changed since they last parted. How was Gallifrey here? Before she had time to come up with a reasonable (or unreasonable) explanation, to consider passing through, to then consider whether or not to take Rose with her, whether or not Rose would let her make that decision, another figure burst through the clouds of the boundary.

Chapter Text

The Doctor lurched as she fell through the boundary. Without the TARDIS to absorb some of the energy, travelling through time and space really did a number on the body. She wondered momentarily if the Master felt the same way. If he did, he had done a better job of hiding it than she had. 

“Look upon my work, Doctor. And despair.”

Straightening herself up, she took in her surroundings. Gallifrey. Burning. Everything around them, destroyed. Once mighty, and now nothing more than a pile of rubble. She ignored his laughs, and the speech he had more than likely prepared, taking in the orange glow and the falling ash. Gallifrey looked now as she had imagined it so many times, except that now it was not her doing. The planet had been saved, the time lords, the children. Every one of them had been saved from her worst mistake, and for nothing. The Master continued to speak behind her, and she could feel the anger welling up inside her, ready to erupt. She thought that she might turn around, tackle him, punch him. Something that wouldn’t fit with her self-given label of a pacifist, but which felt very necessary in the moment. 

“Ask me why I did this,” He was desperate, his eyes boring into hers as he waited for her reaction. Her mouth opened, and she was unsure if she was going to ask what he wanted, or if she was going to throw an insult his way. She was leaning towards the former, but soon both of their attentions were diverted. 

Behind them, where they had emerged into the boundary, the air was glowing once more, swirling. Somebody had followed, and was coming through to Gallifrey. The Doctor didn’t need two guesses on who that might be. 

“God, that’s…” Rose was gasping for breath, looking around frantically. “Don’t think I’m going to get used to that any time soon.” 

The Doctor made eye contact with the Master, and as though in slow motion lunged forward towards Rose, hoping she could get the girl behind her, keep her as safe as possible for now, and chastise her for following later. But the Master reached her first, throwing an arm around her and holding up the tissue compression eliminator to her neck. She struggled against him, which only seemed to fill him with more glee. 

“Looks like we have an extra guest for our tour! You don’t mind, do you?” There was no question, only threat. If she didn’t play along with whatever he had planned, he would hurt Rose. And there was no way she was going to let that happen. Rose was panting, looking between the Doctor and the tissue compression eliminator. She had no idea what it did, but the fear was obviously written on the Doctor’s face because her attempt at a reassuring look did nothing to calm her. 

“Fine. Lead the way.” Her mind was racing. How to save Rose. What he could possibly want to show her in the ruins of the Capitol. Rose. Gallifrey. He took long strides, and she kept up, not willing to let them out of her sight. 

When they reached the Citadel, the Master tossed Rose onto the steps, beginning to gloat, talk of plans he had for the building. Though he was still standing between them, the Doctor stepped closer, hoping she could find a way to get him away from Rose. 

Not that she could do much from in here. No TARDIS. Nowhere safe to send her. Everywhere was burned. If Jackie Tyler could see them now, she didn’t want to imagine the slap she’d have earned. Still, Rose wasn’t new to this, and trusted the Doctor. Perhaps too much. She watched the Doctor, but made no move to stand, or to try anything clever.

The Master jumped down from the steps, allowing her the time to reach Rose, who gripped tightly onto her arm but still said nothing. 

“We had some fun there, didn’t we?” He asked, and the Doctor looked around at the fallen statues and signs of what this room had once been. The grandeur, and status all wiped away. He carried on with his mad speech, gallivanting about the room and motioning, humour written across his face but the anguish and bitterness clear for all to see. Then, something chimed in his pocket and he looked back to the Doctor and Rose with a laugh. “Oh! Excuse me, check my notifications!” Rose frowned in disbelief.

He began to speak to the cybermen, and though she had said that she wasn’t afraid of a few cybermen back in the TARDIS, the Doctor could see that that wasn’t the case now. She tried to use the opportunity to lift Rose to her feet, stepping closer to the Master, eyes set fast on the image of the lone cyberman as she held tight onto Rose, keeping her firmly behind her. 

“You may call me ‘Master’,” He said, and the Doctor rolled her eyes. “Think of me as your new best friend.” He instructed the cybermen to pass through the boundary, to join him, join them, on Gallifrey. Her grip on Rose’s wrists tightened. 

“Don’t bring them here!” She urged him, speaking directly to him, attempting to make eye contact, to reason. Throughout their lives, they had seen and done so much together, through good and bad, and she hoped that she could get through this with as little conflict as possible. However, that was no longer looking like an option. “This is between you and me!” He responded by holding up the tissue compression eliminator, pointing it directly at Rose. She didn’t flinch. 

The Doctor was hopeful. That was the kind of person she was, this time around. Rose was tough. And he was always pointing that thing around, an empty threat. The cybermen wouldn’t want Gallifrey. There was nothing left of it, anyway. Everything would work out in the end, just as it always seemed to. Well, almost always. 

But then he seemed to change his mind. Ignoring the cyberman still projected in front of them, he put back the tissue compression eliminator and pulled out something else. A screwdriver? Maybe. She wasn’t sure. He pointed that at Rose now, and she still looked as fearless as ever, the Doctor would be in awe if she had time for that. She tried to put herself between Rose and the Master, really, but she wasn’t fast enough. As his thumb nudged the metallic button, it fired something towards her, a flash of light. Rose dropped to the ground.