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"Oh my god, I am so mad at you right now," she says before taking another bite and then chewing furiously, eyes closed. And if Ben didn’t know better, he’d guess that Leslie was very close to moaning, right at their dining room table during dinner. She usually only does that when chocolate is involved.
Well, as far as food goes.
"I know," Ben replies, but he can’t help but smile just a bit.
"How could you do this to me?"
"Well, it’s not like I planned this or that it’s actually my doing. It’s just an amusing side-effect."
Leslie takes another large bite from her plate, glaring at him while she eats.
"This is ridiculous Ben. Should I pick it up? Eat it with a fork? Who knows? It’s just…so completely pointless and confusing. But oh my god, it’s so incredibly, fucking delicious.”
He nods. “This is a really good batch. I used full-fat mozzarella and I put some sauteed cremini mushrooms in with the spinach. And oh, just a touch of fresh basil.”
"I can’t believe our children are making me eat a spinach and mushroom calzone. Spinach! That’s a…vegetable,” she tells him, her voice full of disdain. “And also that you’re enjoying it so much, you jerk. You can’t tell anyone about this.”
"Really? So I shouldn’t send out that press release that I wrote? But I already arranged that singing telegram for Ron, it may be too late to cancel that," he makes a point of looking like he’s trying to remember all of his Leslie-likes-calzones-now commitments. “Oh, and I’m supposed to go on Pawnee Today tomorrow to discuss…calzone-gate.”
"Ben," she says, trying not to laugh.
"Leslie, relax. I’m not going to tell anyone. Why would I even…Who would even care that you like calzones now?"
"You’re joking, right?"
"Um, no. That was serious. But if you find it this upsetting, I promise, I will never make calzones for dinner again," he giver her a smirk. "No matter how much you beg me."
"Well, no. We don’t need to go that far. You did this to me and over the coming months you are going to keep me in secret calzones," she pauses. "And also lots and lots of sex. Basically, if you’re not in the kitchen with an apron on, you’re in the bedroom with your pants off," she teases (at least he thinks she’s teasing. He does actually have a job.) "Got it?"
"Good lord, that sounds horrible," he says with a grin. "But I think I can manage. Hey, this weekend I was thinking of making calzones stuffed with mac and cheese." He decides not to mention the kale salad that’s going to accompany his latest calzone experiment.
"Mac and cheese calzone? You’re making that?" She asks, voice raised excitedly.
And when she comes over and sits in his lap (she’s a bit slower getting up this time than that day in her office), he’s completely prepared for it, wraps his arms around her as she straddles him, and pulls her close for a spinach calzone-flavored kiss.