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Almost immediately upon traveling through the digital world back to Japan, Koushirou was calling the four of them to his office. Oddly, they weren’t the last to arrive - Jou had a hell of a time checking out of the hospital, all his fellow interns too worried to just let him leave immediately after coming out of a mysterious coma.
Everyone was together - something that happened more often since the disaster four years ago but still rare - and Koushiro’s office was honestly a bit too small for 12 people and 10 child digimon, with Mimi perched on Sora’s knees and Miyako squishing Ken and Daisuke together in the back with a gleam in her eyes Ken did not appreciate at the moment. Despite the cramped room, the void of Agumon and Gabumon was palpable, Taichi and Yamato tucked together in a corner.
“I wanted to debrief about the past few days,” Koushirou began. “First, everyone seems to have awoken around the world, and I haven’t yet found any traces of Eosmon’s data, but I’m running additional tests.”
“Well, that’s good, right?” Miyako asked.
“Yes, the crisis at least seems to be over. But that brings us to....the other problem.” Koushirou paused and sent a significant look to Taichi and Yamato.
“You tell them,” Taichi’s voice was a whisper.
Koushirou looked extremely uncomfortable, but turned back to the rest of the group. “What happened to Agumon and Gabumon is going to happen to all our partners. I’m trying to find a way to stop it, but...I’m not hopeful.”
Mimi jumped up. “Wait. Palmon is...going to...” She fell to the ground and clung to her partner in lieu of finishing her sentence.
“Yes. Like Menoa said, digimon can only be partners with ‘children’. But I have so little information I’m uncomfortable making any predictions. Menoa was separated at 14, and Gomamon is still with Jou, so age clearly isn’t a concrete factor.”
Ken stared at his partner in his arms, tightening his hold on Wormmon. He tried very hard not to think of another time he held Wormmon like this, glowing with golden light.
“So let’s spend as much time as we can with them before that,” Sora said with conviction.
“I agree,” Jou scooped up his partner and jostled himself toward the door.
“Jou-senpai!” Iori grabbed the back of his shirt, not enough to physically stop him, but he turned and looked just the same. “We - that is, Daisuke-san, Miyako-san, Ichijoji-san and I - we weren’t in the digital world. Could you - tell us what happened there? Why was Menoa trying to - capture all of us?”
Jou grimaced. “I was twelve again. It was bad.”
Ken stiffened imperceptibly, hoping Daisuke didn’t notice despite being plastered to his side.
“What do you mean, Kido-senpai?” He spoke up, clutching Wormmon a bit tighter.
“I mean - that woman, she regressed all of us, back to when we first met our partners. I think she really thought she was doing us a favor, but I was a mess at 12. Being trapped in my memories was the worst.”
Ken went back to staring at Wormmon. Back to when they first met....that endless desert, someone warm and safe and a different kind of brotherly by his side, a darkness he couldn’t quite look at in the sky.
He didn’t really pay attention to the rest of what everyone said, and the meeting broke up just a few minutes later anyway, all the not-quite-children-anymore clutching their partners.
Daisuke grabbed his wrist as he said his polite goodbyes, pivoting towards the train to Tamachi. “Come to my place?”
It’s hard to come up with an excuse, but he doesn’t think he can handle the full force of Daisuke right now. “I think....I just want to be with Wormmon right now.” Half truths are helpful.
Daisuke didn’t look convinced. “I’ll come by tomorrow morning and help you move a couple boxes in then?”
“Sure,” Ken hated how clipped he sounded.
He made it all the way back to his parent’s, avoiding Wormmon’s imploring ‘Ken-chan?’s, promising to talk when they got home.
“Oh, there you are, Ken dear! I saw you on the news, saving people in New York! I’m so proud of you.” Ken’s mom embraced him in a hug, and Ken leaned into it, savoring his parent’s affection.
“Thank you, Mama. I’m....very tired. I think I’ll skip dinner and just go to bed if that’s alright?”
“Of course it is, dear. I’ll make some for you, in case you get hungry later. And let me know if you need help finishing packing? I’m so excited for you, moving in with Daisuke! He is a sweetheart.”
Ken genuinely smiled at his mother and locked himself in his (Osamu’s) room, collapsing onto the floor. He had a good view of the boxes he and Daisuke had put together before their New York trip, a few days and a lifetime ago.
“We can talk now, Ken-chan?” Wormmon snuggled his chest.
“Yeah, yeah, we can -“ Ken felt the tears falling down his face before registering he was crying.
“Ken-chan!” Wormmon started and waddled over to the desk, grabbing a tissue box and gently placing it in front of Ken’s face.
“Thanks, Wormmon,” Ken blotted at his face in vain, the tears continuing.
“What’s wrong?”
“You heard too! You’re going to - I’m going to lose - you’ll disappear. Again,” Ken babbled out.
“Ken-chan....”
Ken gently pet Wormmon’s head, staring at him, trying to memorize his face, those big blue eyes full of love and hope even when Ken had none. Wormmon had been there for him, even through his cruelest moments, feverish attempts to lessen his own pain by causing it in others, memories fractured like a broken pane of glass.
He didn’t want to say goodbye. He wasn’t ready. Maybe that meant he was still a child - safe.
He looked over at the boxes, his bare room, ready to move out and away from his parents’ and in with his best friend.
“Maybe I shouldn’t move out yet.”
“What? But you’re so excited to move in with Daisuke! And you complained every day about the commute to school last quarter!”
“I know. But...” Ken shifted onto his back, pulling Wormmon onto his chest, reveling in the comforting weight. “Moving out is a signal you’re becoming an adult.”
“Do you not want to become an adult, Ken-chan?”
“Not anymore. Not now that it means....losing you.”
It was wrong to be jealous of the other Chosen. Something horrible happened to them, mind controlled, sunken into their own memories. But Menoa, as twisted as she was, wanted them to be happy. He could have been happy.
If he went back, never been implanted with the dark seed, Osamu had never died, he’d never - Ken stroked the top of Wormmon’s head and could almost feel the ghost of a disgusting red welt where a whip struck him.
“Hey Wormmon?”
“Yes, Ken-chan?”
“Could you tell me about the first time we met? When I first went to the digital world?”
Wormmon’s face lit up. “Of course! I’d been waiting for you, waiting so long that I was actually a bit worried I wouldn’t find you! But then I found Ryo, and waiting with him was easier, and then you came! It was the happiest day of my life, seeing you for the first time...”
Ken let himself drift to sleep listening to Wormmon recall a story he’d heard many times, filling in the cracks in his own mind where memories should have been.
----
The snap of a cell phone camera shutter awoke Ken from his uneasy slumber, and he opened his eyes to find Daisuke looming over him, smiling cheerfully.
“Good morning, sleepyhead! Why are you on the floor?”
Ken could only shrug, still fuzzy. Daisuke didn’t seem to mind, moving over toward Ken’s desk chair to sit down.
“Mind if I keep this pic, I couldn’t resist! You and Wormmon looked so cute cuddled up together.” Daisuke turned his phone around, showing off a photo of him and Wormmon, looking far more peaceful than Ken felt.
“That’s fine. I’m gonna - go wake up,” Ken placed a still-sleeping Wormmon that showed a few signs of stirring on the floor next to him and stumbled to the restroom.
When he came back out, Daisuke appeared to have organized his boxes into small trips, and Wormmon was pacing back and forth, following him around. Ken smiled and felt all warm inside.
“Alright, so I’ve got the essentials here -“ Daisuke gestured to his left, where Ken’s clothes and bedding was - “and then trip two we’ve got electronics and school stuff, which I know you’ll want before the fun stuff for some reason, which is here!” Daisuke gestured all the way to his right with a flourish.
Wormmon was looking at him and jerking his head in Daisuke’s direction, like he wanted to say something.
Oh, yeah. Last night.
Ken knelt in front of Wormmon, lightly squishing his face. “Do you want to come on the first trip too, hang out with V-mon? Moving isn’t that scary.”
Wormmon’s eyes shown. “We’re going?”
“Yes, we’re going.”
Between the two of them, Ken and Daisuke managed to haul the heaviest of Ken’s items across town to Daisuke’s apartment that was nestled close to both Ken and Daisuke’s respective schools. It was a perfect location - a 2LDK just a few minutes walk from the closest station - and Daisuke was paying a pretty good price for urban Tokyo, making due with his salary from part time work at a local ramen shop and other odd jobs. Everyone had asked Daisuke why he’d gotten such a big place - especially his family. They didn’t want him blowing all his savings so quickly on such a big apartment he didn’t need. And the location wasn’t exactly the most ideal for his school.
They didn’t talk about how Daisuke had picked out an apartment and held it for when Ken was ready to join him.
As they unpacked, it became painfully obvious that Daisuke wanted to talk to Ken. About yesterday. Ken wriggled out of the conversation two times before Daisuke declared they were taking a break and put on a movie, something both of them had seen a million times, and they sat on the couch. Ken sat ramrod straight, Daisuke openly staring at him.
As the opening credits finished, Ken turned to look into Daisuke’s eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Obviously. But here’s the thing, Ken.” Daisuke shifted one leg on the couch and bodily turned toward Ken. “You need to.”
“How come you just ‘know’ what I need? Maybe I don’t need to talk. I talked to Wormmon already, anyway,” Ken made his excuses.
“Okay, how about this? You tell me that this isn’t a ‘I don’t want to talk about how my greatest desire is to be murdered’ situation and I’ll leave you alone.”
Ken frowned. “That’s a low blow.”
“So it is one of those situations?”
“I mean it, Daisuke! Don’t - not now, okay?”
“Ken...” Daisuke moved closer, too close, and laid a hand on Ken’s knee. “We’ll probably still have years with them. Taichi-senpai and Yamato-senpai are three years older than us.”
“...you’re probably right,” Ken grasped the out from the conversation he really didn’t want to have. “I fell apart without Wormmon the first time. I know things are better now, I have my parents for real and you and the rest of the group, but....”
Ken trailed off, unsure what else to tell Daisuke. That he was now happy he had no idea what to do with his life? Daisuke knew exactly what he was going to be - Ken became suddenly terrified that V-mon was going to leave first, Daisuke obviously having his adult life more together. He didn’t want to watch Daisuke have to say goodbye to his partner. Their joint partner, honestly.
“I’m glad you know you have me.” Daisuke’s hand not on Ken’s knee brushed against the back of his neck, and Ken jumped up, disentangling himself. He brought his own hand to the back of his neck, gripping it until it was just shy of painful.
Daisuke’s eyes widened. “Does that thing...still hurt?”
“No,” Ken forced himself to calm down. “No, I just...don’t like being reminded of it. Please don’t touch me there.”
“Okay. Sit back down?”
Ken did so, slowly relaxing as it became clear Daisuke was finished grilling him and trying to make him open up. He leaned into Daisuke’s side, tucking his legs up under him as he enjoyed the arm around his shoulders.
They did this a lot, casually cuddling together. Daisuke was just a tactile person like that, and Ken wanted the closeness. In a way he wasn’t comfortable stating out loud yet. Maybe once they were roommates. Maybe he was crazy for waiting until they were roommates to drop a bomb like his feelings on Daisuke.
The movie credits began to roll as Ken came to a decision. He looked up at Daisuke.
“It sounded nice.”
“What? The movie? Yeah, I picked it cause it’s one of your favorites.”
“No, not that. Eosmon. What it did. It sounded nice.”
Daisuke took several beats to catch up to Ken’s seeming non-sequitur.
“Nice??” The only thing preventing Daisuke from falling over comically was that he was already sitting.
Ken pulled away from Daisuke, scooting to the far end of the couch. “Going back, being eight years old again, it’s....appealing.”
“Holy shit.” Daisuke crowded back against him. “You can’t seriously think that?”
“You know why, Daisuke. Don’t make me say it.”
It wouldn’t magically make Osamu alive, but he wouldn’t have to remember it. Wouldn’t have to remember every terrified digimon’s face. He was so selfish.
Daisuke grabbed Ken’s shoulders, staring into his down-turned eyes. “But it wouldn’t be real.”
“Would that matter, if all the horrible things were in a future that wasn’t there anymore?”
“We’re in that future, too! Us, together, as jogress partners and best friends.”
Ken looked into Daisuke’s eyes, fiery and passionate and completely focused on him. “That’s the biggest thing keeping me going.”
Daisuke’s eye dropped from the stare to Ken’s lips, then back up. His hands tightened on Ken’s shoulders, and he was suddenly aware of how close Daisuke was. He held his breath, anticipation of something creeping up his spine.
“Can I kiss -“
Ken surged forward and met Daisuke’s mouth in the middle, pressure and heat and then Daisuke’s tongue slipped out, slid along his lips and he opened his mouth and buried his hands in Daisuke’s messy auburn spikes.