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Remus sat alone in a dark room full of spiderwebs, real and fake. He sat on the small stair platform, gripping a picture frame so tightly that his knuckles were white.
—
how can i say this without breaking
how can i say this without taking over
how can i put it down into words
when it’s almost too much for my soul alone
—
The picture that was kept safe inside the frame was one of three people. It was Deceit, Remus and Virgil…
when they were all still together. When they were whole.
—
i loved, and i loved and i lost you
i loved, and i loved and i lost you
—
The dark door creaked open. Remus looked up, tears shining in his eyes, threatening to spill over. Deceit, who was standing in the doorway looked at Remus and walked over to sit by him.
—
i loved, and i loved and i lost you
—
When Deceit sat down next to him, the tears that were collecting in Remus’ eyes fell down. Deceit was consoling him, also sharing his friend’s grief. Remus whispered, “and it hurts like hell. yeah, it hurts like hell.”
—
Hours later, after they had left Virgil’s old room, Remus was staring in his mirror, where he had taped a photo of his old friend.
—
i don’t want them to know the secrets
i don’t want them to know the way i loved you
i don’t think they’d understand it, no
—
Remus looked out his grand doors, beyond his balcony to his brother’s bright side of the imagination.
—
i don’t think they would accept me, no
—
“I loved, and I loved and I lost you.” Remus whispered, walking towards his balcony.
“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.” He walked over to the railing, placing his hands on it.
“I loved, and I loved and I lost you.” Remus cried.
“And it hurts like hell.”
Deceit had walked in, unbeknownst to Remus, listening to Remus vent his feelings. Deceit placed a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Yeah it hurts like hell.”
—
dreams fight with machines
inside my head like adversaries
come wrestle me free
clean from the war
—
The two were both enclosed in another sobbing comfort session, gradually sliding down to sit on the balcony floor.
—
your heart fits like a key
into the lock on the wall
—
Remus conjured the chest of abandoned things, the one that they found in Virgil’s room after he had left.
—
i turn it over,
i turn it over,
but i can’t escape
—
Remus gently lift the chest’s lid, as if it could all fall apart at a moment’s notice.
—
i turn it over,
i turn it over
—
“i loved, and i loved, and i lost you…” Remus gently cried. “i loved, and i loved, and i lost you. i loved and i loved, and i lost you.” Remus closed the lid and stood up, a dark look clouding his face. “and it hurts like hell.”