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Kai considers himself a little clumsy, but it’s normally not a big issue as long as he stays out of the kitchen and keeps his multitasking to a minimum whenever physical activity is involved. He’s jumped on his bed plenty of times before without issue, so it’s to his shock when he suddenly gets drenched in water. Water that’s not stopping.
“Soobinie-hyung, help!” he yells, and Soobin has some very choice words for the situation (Kai doesn’t know why people don’t believe him when he says Soobin curses all the time). It’s not hard to piece together—Kai is very tall and sometimes clumsy, and the fire sprinkler is directly above his bed. Soobin hurries to the bathroom and returns with some towels.
“I’m going to get the building manager, try to stop what you can with the towels.” Soobin then turns around and leaves Kai to fend for himself, and really, he couldn’t be blamed for whining dramatically. His best friend ditched him in his time of need. Kai grumpily holds the towels against the sprinkler in an effort to stop their room from flooding.
One lecture, two firefighters, and a thankfully voluntary shower later, Kai stands in front of his soaked mattress. A quick video call with his parents had verified that it was beyond salvaging, and that they would replace it as soon as they can. At least he’s lucky that it’s only his mattress that was damaged. By some stroke of luck, he’d just changed his sheets, so his plushies were safely tucked away in a bin.
But where is he supposed to sleep tonight? Their couch is too small, and the futon Kai has been meaning to bring from home for guests is...well, still at home.
“Hey hyung?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I sleep with you?” Kai sidles up next to him.
Soobin looks up from his book, smiling helplessly when he sees Kai’s mischievous expression. Of course he had worded it that way on purpose.
“I should kick you out.”
“You love me too much.” Kai grins.
Soobin rolls his eyes but moves over on his bed. At least it’s a full-size mattress and not a twin like Kai’s had been. The younger crawls in under the blankets before abruptly realizing something.
“I forgot Molangie!”
“Ya, brat. You’re not bringing him into the bed too.” Soobin is a hot sleeper, he can’t imagine how uncomfortable he’d be with Kai and a plushie in the same bed with him.
Kai pouts, but he obediently settles underneath the covers. “Molangie helps me sleep.” It’s gotten to the point where he can’t really sleep without holding the plush in his arms, but right now he feels tired from cleaning up all the water. Maybe he’d be drowsy enough from the exertion. He closes his eyes, and in his search for sleep, his mind wanders.
He hasn’t slept in the same bed as Soobin for at least a few years now. The last time had been before his giant growth spurt which put him only an inch shorter than the older. He’d gloated back then, but from time to time, he gets a strange feeling in his chest—he doesn’t exactly know what he misses, but what he does know is that it’s harder for Soobin to pick him up or piggyback him now.
Soobin turns on the fan and switches off his lamp. “Good night, Kai.”
“Night hyung,” Kai says sleepily. “It’s been a while since we’ve slept together. I won’t say anything if you cling onto me like you used to.”
“You were always the one who started it,” Soobin huffs defensively, though he acutely remembers one instance where he had been half-awake and had hooked an arm around Kai’s waist to pull him closer because it had felt like the right thing to do.
“You’re so uncute,” Kai mumbles as he drifts off into sleep.
Soobin turns over to look at him, assisted by the moonlight. He’s hit with a wave of nostalgia—Kai’s angelic sleeping face is the same as it’s always been, as well as the scent of his coconut shampoo. It’s the same one he used through high school. Kai is not so small now, and his figure is a bit unfamiliar in the dark, a bit different from what he’s used to seeing in their past sleepovers.
Soobin sighs and finally closes his eyes. Time really does pass by too quickly.
Kai wakes up warm and comfortable and in an incredibly incriminating position. His chin is tucked against Soobin’s neck, and his arm is slung around the older’s hip. Kai is, without a doubt, spooning Soobin. And after what he said last night… Kai quickly pulls back his arm in an attempt to destroy the evidence, but he startles when Soobin stops him with a warm hand.
“I already caught you,” Soobin says, voice deep with sleep. “Don’t move, I’m comfortable.”
Kai groans softly as he presses his face against the back of Soobin’s neck. He’s never going to hear the end of it when they wake up.
It’s Sunday, so they sleep in late. Kai’s eventually woken up by his phone; it’s a call from his parents.
“Mm? Yeah…Same model is fine...oh, a week? No it’s ok, I’ll find a place to sleep until then...Love you too.”
“Your parents?” Soobin asks, stretching.
“Yup.” Kai scrolls thoughtfully through his phone contacts. He’s sure at least one of his friends has a spare futon.
“I guess I’ll have to share my bed until yours gets here then,” Soobin says noncommittally. Kai’s eyes shine as he tackles the older with a hug.
“I knew I could count on you, hyung!”
“And who’s always clinging to who, hmm?” Soobin asks smugly with an armful of Kai.
“I have an explanation,” Kai says, pulling back indignantly. “I sleep with Molangie every night, so I’m used to holding something in my arms. Hyung just happened to be there!”
“Don’t compare me to a plushie.” Soobin rolls his eyes and nudges Kai to hop off the bed.
“So can I bring Molangie—”
“No.”
“Aww. Then I can’t be blamed if it happens again.” Kai pouts.
Soobin laughs as he squeezes toothpaste into his brush. “Kai, no one’s surprised that you’re a cuddler.”
Kai splutters. “You’re one too!”
Soobin makes a face at him. “You started it.”
“Mark my words Choi Soobin, one day this week it’ll be completely your fault and I’m not going to let you forget it.”
“If you say so.” Soobin grins.
Oh, if only he knew.
The second night finds Kai laying very still because he will absolutely not cuddle Soobin. Unfortunately, this also means he’s having trouble falling asleep. After an hour passes with him still wide awake, Kai sighs in defeat and turns over to snuggle up against Soobin, who had been gone five minutes after he turned the lights off. The older’s even breathing helps lull him to sleep.
Soobin’s alarm rings underneath his pillow. He’s disoriented for a brief moment after he turns it off. He’s not used to waking up in someone’s arms; Kai is so close that his hair tickles Soobin’s neck. He’s tempted to stay in bed and enjoy how surprisingly comfortable he is, but he knows he’d just end up falling back asleep and missing class.
Also, Kai’s not allowed to know that Soobin actually enjoys his cuddling. Still, it’s with utmost care that he disentangles himself; Kai’s class doesn’t start for at least another hour.
Kai makes a soft sound when Soobin leaves, unconsciously reaching out in the warm space on the bed that he had previously occupied. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to tuck Molangie into Kai’s arms, but he does, and the way Kai automatically clutches the plush is...cute. But Kai had always been very cute, even at six feet tall.
Kai tosses and turns during the third night. It’s preventing Soobin from being able to fall asleep too, so the older is mildly irritated.
“Just come here,” Soobin says, exasperated as he pulls him closer until Kai’s fully pressed against him.
Kai squeaks. “Hyung?”
“You and I both know what’s happening,” Soobin grouses. For a brief moment, Kai seems to freeze, but the awkwardness passes quickly, and he squirms against Soobin until he’s comfortable. If Soobin’s nose happens to press into Kai’s hair, well, it’s the younger’s fault for moving so close. He (accidentally) inhales the familiar and calming scent of coconut.
Kai rests his arm on top of Soobin’s, hands not quite interlaced but it feels a little intimate nonetheless.
“Night, Binnie-hyung.”
“Good night, Kai.”
There are no questions or pretenses the fourth night; they settle against each other easily. They talk about everything and nothing, as they’re usually apt to do, until one of them drifts off to sleep. They continue this pattern into the fifth and sixth night, but it’s the seventh and final night that they majorly screw up.
They’re deep in an argument about superior ice cream flavors (chocolate for Soobin, while Kai swears by mint chocolate) when it happens, their proximity changes from comfortably close to too close in the matter of a second. The conversation dies out as they realize, but instead of hurriedly moving apart, they freeze and the tension between them mounts, because how had it gotten to this point where the term personal space didn’t mean to matter?
Kai bites his lip nervously and all that does is draw Soobin’s attention, and it’s not like he had never thought about kissing Kai before, because he has, he admits that he has, alright? Kai is gorgeous and funny and Soobin’s best friend, but he had always respected their relationship too much to push any boundaries.
Soobin barely remembers to breathe with Kai looking at him, eyes wide but curious, and maybe Soobin will find the time to feel guilty later, but for now he tilts Kai’s chin towards him with his fingers. Kai’s breath hitches, but when he doesn’t move away, Soobin slowly moves closer. Although there is barely any space left between them, he wants to give Kai as much time as he can to push him away. But he doesn’t, and inevitably, their lips meet tentatively in the dark. The first kiss is fleeting, the second one is a little less hesitant, and by the third they finally find the confidence to commit.
Kai unsurprisingly tastes like mint toothpaste, and Soobin had been telling him for months that that was exactly what mint chocolate tasted like. Maybe he’d have the chance to compare in the future—he stops that train of thought and redirects his focus. He’s getting ahead of himself. He gently nibbles on Kai’s lips until he parts them, and he takes his time licking into Kai’s mouth, softly brushing their tongues together. They spend some time slowly exploring each other; Soobin’s hand rests at the small of Kai’s back, and the younger grips onto Soobin’s shoulders.
They’re as close as they can get while laying on their sides, but Soobin still wants more, and it’s this feeling that drives him to adjust their position until he leans over Kai, taking care to support himself partially on his arm so he doesn’t crush the younger beneath him. Kai shivers when he feels the weight of Soobin’s body—not quite enough to fully pin him down, but enough to make him feel pleasant and anticipatory.
Kai’s hands cup Soobin’s face to angle their mouths until they slant perfectly against each other, and it’s much easier to kiss deeply in their new position, something they both immediately take advantage of. Soobin takes the chance to thread his fingers in Kai’s hair—it has always looked so soft and full, as if inviting one’s hand to run through it—and he confirms his suspicions; Kai’s hair is indeed silky and addicting to touch. Soobin thinks he imagines the whimper when he pulls softly on strands, but he’s delightfully proven wrong when Kai makes the same noise after he repeats the action.
Oh, he is so not going to let Kai live that down.
As if reading his thoughts, Kai bites Soobin’s lower lip, though he sucks on it gently before pulling away. They stare at each other, breathing harshly with their pupils blown wide. Kai opens his mouth, as if to say something, but then he uncharacteristically stays quiet. Soobin can’t think of anything to say other than wow and fuck, so he just lays back down, uncertain of how to proceed.
The awkward atmosphere is thick for a few moments before Kai loops an arm around his waist and pulls insistently until Soobin turns over. He buries his head into Soobin’s chest, and the older holds him, gently stroking his back in a soothing rhythm until they both fall asleep.
“Wait,” Beomgyu yells. “You two kissed?”
Kai hits him on the arm. “Don’t be so loud,” he hisses.
“More importantly, I can’t believe how clumsy you are,” Taehyun remarks. “I don’t know if you’re lucky or unlucky that your mattress model is out of stock now…”
“Wouldn’t he be unlucky?” Beomgyu snipes. “He has to wait longer for it, which means...oh.”
“Do you like him?” Taehyun asks, cutting to the chase as usual.
“I don’t know,” Kai mumbles. “It just kinda happened.” He covers his mouth, shy from just thinking about it.
“You two are gross,” Beomgyu announces.
Taehyun nudges Kai. “You should probably think about it, so you don’t do something stupid.”
“Ok Hyunie.”
He does something stupid.
He tells Soobin that his mattress had been delayed again because it was out of stock, and Soobin is probably the most patient person he knows because the older just nods and says, “Well, I guess I can’t kick you out of my bed yet.” They don’t bring up the kissing, and when it’s time to sleep, they lie a little further apart from each other, tense and awkward.
Kai’s heart is pounding. He really wants to at least cuddle up next to Soobin, because there’s something about being in his arms that makes him feel content and safe, but the weight of last night still hangs over them and keeps them cautious.
Well, one of them, at least. Kai’s not as patient, so it’s not long before he shakes Soobin’s shoulder.
“Hmm?”
“Come closer,” Kai whines.
“So needy,” Soobin says, and it’s meant to be teasing but there’s something about the way he says it that makes Kai want to kiss him again. Or maybe he just wants to kiss him, he can’t really tell. Soobin does move closer though, arm resting leisurely over his hip.
“Feels like I do all the work around here,” Kai mumbles as he practically drapes himself over Soobin, and oh for fuck’s sake, he’s already halfway there, he might as well—and he ends up rather unapologetically on top of Soobin. The older’s mouth is open in shock, which makes it easy for Kai to slip his tongue in actually, so he does exactly that. He may or may not still be a little salty from last night at the way Soobin had looked at him smugly after pulling his hair—he can’t help what he likes, okay?—so his goal is to find out Soobin’s weakness. And also to make out with him, but that was already assumed.
Kai shivers when Soobin drags his hands down his back until they settle on his waist. He can feel the heat of them through his thin nightshirt, and it just feels—really good. He twists his hand in Soobin’s hair, slightly disappointed but not surprised when the older doesn’t exhibit much of a reaction apart from smirking against his lips, that punk. Kai’s hand skitters over his ear, pausing when Soobin flinches. Oh?
Soobin refuses to look at him; subtlety was never his strong trait. Kai raises an eyebrow, taking a break from Soobin’s lips to trail open-mouthed kisses up his jawline. Kai measures his progress by the strength of Soobin’s grasp on his waist, the closer he gets, the harder Soobin clamps down. By the time Kai nips the shell of his ear, Soobin’s vice grip is practically impossible to get out of; it’s a little uncomfortable, but Kai figures it’s well worth it to see him struggle like this. His tongue pokes out to trace the outline of Soobin’s ear, and the older makes a sound like a cross between a gasp and a groan.
“Interesting.” Kai smirks.
“Shut up,” Soobin says, and whatever awkwardness there was before is now dispelled. Soobin places a hand at the back of Kai’s head to guide their lips together again, and there isn’t much talking for the rest of the night.
Kissing—making out, really—becomes the new norm even quicker than cuddling had, and they spend a lot of their moments before sleep with their hands all over each other, occasionally leaving each other flushed and panting. Kai’s mattress arrives a few days later, and although the younger now has a perfectly serviceable bed, he continues to sleep in Soobin’s. After all, the benefits were hard to ignore, and in the end, he prefers cuddling Soobin over his plushies (sorry, Molangie). He doesn’t know when exactly the kissing transitions to out-of-bed situations as well, but when he’s caught one time in the library by Taehyun, his best friend looks disapprovingly at him.
Soobin had excused himself to pick up their coffees. Taehyun stares at Kai.
“Hyuka, please tell me you’ve talked to him.”
“Um…”
Taehyun’s gaze softens. “You’re going to get hurt if you don’t.”
“I know, I know.” Kai gives him a tight hug. “It’s just...hard to bring up.” Even harder is the fact that he’s starting to develop a crush on his long-time best friend. Or maybe he’d been attracted all along, which is something he doesn’t want to admit.
“Try, okay?”
“I will, Hyunie.”
Taehyun is always right.
Kai is planning to swing by Soobin’s class to drop off his laptop since he’d left it at home, but he sees Soobin and Yeonjun before they see him. He grins and starts to sneak up on them when he hears something that wiped the smile off his face.
“What? Kai? I wouldn’t date him.”
“Soobinie.” Yeonjun has a frown on his face when he turns around. He thought he saw a flash of familiar brown hair.
Kai is long gone by then.
Yeonjun sighs, feeling unsettled. “Talk it out with him, okay?”
“I told you hyung, he’s just playing around. I think he sees it more of a competition, if anything.” Soobin frowns as he looks through the crowd. Still no signs of Kai.
Yeonjun snorts. “Since when has Kai been a competitive person?”
“He is with me,” Soobin says. “He’s been that way since we were kids. We were always really close.”
“You think he makes out with you because he thinks this whole thing is a competition?” Yeonjun deadpans. “What kind of competition? Gay chicken?”
Soobin looks crossly at Yeonjun, feeling antsy that Kai hasn’t shown up yet. He really needs his laptop for class. “It’s hard to explain. It’s obvious he’s not taking it seriously, so I’m not either.”
Yeonjun rolls his eyes so hard he thinks he sees the back of his head. “Listen to me, Binnie. I think you’ve already fallen for him. Kai looks like he’s head over heels for you too, so do yourselves both a favor and ask him out.”
Soobin bites his lip. “Maybe,” he finally says. He can’t wait for Kai any longer without being late, so he waves goodbye to Yeonjun and sets off to class. To say he’s surprised when Beomgyu almost bowls him over is an understatement.
“Soobin!”
“Soobin-hyung, ” he automatically corrects, confused when Beomgyu hands him his laptop. “Where’s Kai?”
Beomgyu shrugs. “He said he had something to do.”
Soobin frowns. Kai has a free period during this time, and he had texted Soobin earlier that he was about to drop it off. “Thanks, ‘Gyu.”
Beomgyu looks at him quizzically. “Are you two alright?”
“Yes? Why wouldn’t we be?” Soobin asks.
“Just wondering.” Beomgyu furrows his brow. Kai was quiet earlier, which was unusual for him. He’ll go ask him about it later. “I’ll see you at noraebang tonight with the others. Bye!”
Soobin waves, feeling unsettled.
Noraebang night gets canceled when Kai takes a rain check. Kai has never canceled before, so the group chat is spammed with concern, but the youngest just says something about not feeling well and that he was fine. Soobin plans on asking him what was wrong when he returned back to their apartment, but when he gets there, Kai’s nowhere to be seen. He sends a text to Kai, and for a few moments he feels disoriented. It’s been awhile since he’s been alone with no clue where the other is.
His text goes unanswered, and Kai never returns that night. The bed feels empty without him.
Soobin doesn’t want to believe it, but it becomes obvious that Kai is avoiding him. He can see that Kai is still returning to the apartment by the changing states of his plushies and his desk, but he must be doing it at times when he knows Soobin is in class. Soobin tries to remember where’d he gone wrong. Was it something he did? Or something he said? And like that, a few days pass.
Those few days felt like forever.
Soobin’s tempted to message the group chat in order to get a response from Kai, but it feels pathetic somehow, when it seems that the younger is adamant on not seeing him. He misses his best friend and he wants to repair whatever damage he’d done to their relationship. He doesn’t even know where to start, and he alternates between being frustrated and blaming himself.
So when Kai leaves his laptop behind one day, Soobin takes a chance. He unlocks it with the password Kai’s been using since they were in middle school, meaning to leave behind a note, but his heart drops instead when he sees a webpage for apartment listings. He stares at the screen numbly.
Is it too late?
He digs out his phone and calls Yeonjun and prays he’s right because he’s never wanted to be so wrong before.
According to Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Taehyun, Kai’s supposed to return to the apartment during Soobin’s abnormal psychology lecture. It’s not a class Soobin can afford to miss. It has a strict attendance policy and he risks an entire letter grade by skipping, but his professor adores him and Soobin TAs for one of her other classes. He’s 75% sure that he can convince her to overlook it just once.
He feels a little foolish waiting for Kai to come back, half-convinced he wouldn’t even show up, but the doorknob turns ten minutes after his class is supposed to start and he sees the familiar head of curly brown hair.
Kai doesn’t notice him at first, and Soobin takes advantage briefly so he can stare, because he doesn’t fully realize just how much he misses Kai until he’s finally able to see him again.
“Kai,” he calls out tentatively. The younger freezes and looks like he’s about to bolt. “Wait.”
“...Hyung,” Kai says, and Soobin frowns—he’s been doing that a lot lately—at Kai’s tone, which sounds weary. It’s not something he’s used to, nor something he wants to hear again, when he knows it’s his fault.
“Can you at least tell me what I’ve done wrong?” He walks over to him, wanting nothing more than to gather Kai up in his arms and not let go. “Please.” His voice cracks embarrassingly. He wills his arms to stay by his side instead of reaching out, because god—he wanted to hold Kai so badly—
Kai shakes his head. “You...didn’t do anything wrong,” he says carefully. “I just wanted some time to myself.” He exhales heavily, then sets down his backpack. “Which sucked. Being without you sucked.” Kai fidgets nervously with his fingers—it’s a nervous habit, and without even thinking about it, Soobin reaches out to clasp them in his hands. He’s done it so many times before that it’s just how he responds now, but his breath halts in his throat when he realizes what he’d done and he braces himself for Kai to push him away.
Kai doesn’t push him away. His bottom lip is snagged between his teeth when he looks at Soobin. “Do you really think it’s a competition to me?”
Of course Yeonjun had told him. No wonder he’d been so willing to be upfront with Kai’s whereabouts.
“Sort of,” Soobin says truthfully. “I thought you were just playing around to see how far I would go. I...probably started liking you a long time ago.”
Kai manages a small smile. “How long ago?”
Soobin has had a lot of time to think about it. “High school, probably. When you were in the middle of that growth spurt and kept on saying you would grow taller than me, but you never did. It was cute how you wanted to catch up, but I remembered wanting you to stop growing up so fast. Like time was passing by too fast, and if I blinked, you wouldn’t need me anymore.”
“I still have room to grow,” Kai pouts, but his cheeks are pink and he stops fidgeting in favor of holding Soobin’s hands instead. “I heard you tell Yeonjun you wouldn’t date me, and I misunderstood.”
“Oh.” It makes sense now. Soobin straightens when he remembers something. “I saw your laptop...were you planning to move out?”
“No,” the younger answers, "I was helping a friend search." Soobin sags visibly with relief. Kai caresses Soobin’s cheek fondly. “I would never move out without telling you, Binnie. I like you too, hyung,” he says softly. “Probably around that time as well. I’m sorry for avoiding you.” Kai leans in, and before Soobin kisses him, Kai murmurs, “I’ll probably always need you, in a way.”
Kissing Kai feels a little different now, like he isn’t going to disappear through his fingers anymore, like he’s going to stay. Soobin had missed him so much—he’s content just locking lips and holding him close, but a loud crash at their door interrupts them. Soobin and Kai turn around to see Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Taehyun topple to the floor in front of them.
“...”
“Just wanted to make sure you two idiots didn’t mess up again,” Yeonjun says cheerfully as he picks himself up off the ground.
“Congratulations,” Taehyun offers.
Beomgyu sniffs. “About time.”
“If you wanted a show, you could have just said so,” Kai manages to tease finally, pulling Soobin close to make out filthily with him.
“Ok, I’m out,” Beomgyu yells. “Noraebang tonight. Don’t miss it!”
“Lock the door behind you,” Taehyun advises. “I don’t think they’re going to get to it.”
Yeonjun looks disgusted. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
When the door closes, Kai pulls back briefly. “I lied. I’m pretty sure I love you, I just didn’t want to say that with them there.”
“You knew?” Soobin says exasperatedly. Had everything been at his expense?
Kai nods. “Just like I know that you love me too.” He smiles cheekily.
Soobin tugs him by the wrist until he can shove Kai onto the bed.
“I deserved that,” Kai says breathlessly.
Soobin trails kisses down his neck. “You deserve a lot of things,” he says suggestively against the sensitive skin, and Kai makes a wrecked sort of sound.
Taehyun’s right. They don’t ever make it to the door.