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“Oh god I hated this opening. I used it on like five films, and I hated it every time. I can’t believe we’re watching this,” Satsuki gripes. Apparently Ryuko finds great amusement in Satsuki’s misfortune because she laughs, all teeth and throaty.
“Why do you hate it?” Ryuko asks after calming down.
Satsuki just crosses her arms and leans back into the couch with a huff.
“Its just so cliche. It was when I finally realized I was filming porn and decided to try and make it officially in this business.”
Ryuko looks up at Satsuki with an eyebrow raised. With the shimmery, rainbow title screen still playing in the background, Ryuko looks softer than normal. Satsuki furrows her brows and glares at her laptop screen and the awful golden title, Ragyo, bouncing across the screen. She hates this movie even more for making her think Ryuko looks soft and beautiful.
“Care to elaborate on that, Sats? Because I don’t see how the hell someone could unknowingly film porn. You must be some special kind of aspy.”
“Ryuko, you can’t just say people have aspergers. Its rude at best and offensive at worst,” Satsuki chides Ryuko without a second thought. She’s gotten so used to chastising Ryuko these past few weeks its like second nature. Satsuki’s mind starts to drift to other ways she could boss Ryuko around. Order her around like she was her personal plaything. Maybe even step on her…
“Oy eyebrows, stop having a mental crisis over your shitty first movie. We haven’t even started it yet,” Ryuko says before nudging Satsuki with the bottle. “Since you look so constipated, I’ll conveniently drop the subject of you being so oblivious of the common man that you apparently unwittingly filmed people fucking. Makes me wish I’d met you earlier.”
“We went to high school together, idiot,” Satsuki mumbles before taking the bottle and taking a swig. She violently shivers afterwards.
“I we’re going to actually drink to this monstrosity of a movie, we’re going to do it with proper drinks. Not straight out of the bottle like pigs.” Satsuki throws a meaningful look at Ryuko before getting up.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ryuko squawks.
“You know what it means!” Satsuki shouts from the kitchen. Bending down, she grabs some V8 juice from the fridge. She straightens up and grabs two glasses from the cabinet. She turns back around to head back to the couch where Ryuko has gone suspiciously silent. When she looks at Ryuko, she only sees her spasm over the arm of the couch and fall off to land flat on her face. Satsuki smirks down at Ryuko when she reaches her.
“Tch Matoi, how do you even survive in the outside world on your own?”
“With lots of drinking, I assure you,” Ryuko smiles up at Satsuki but makes no move to get up. She looks almost challenging down on the floor.
‘What if I just…’ Satsuki thinks to herself, raising her foot slowly, never breaking eye contact with Ryuko.
She steps over her and sits firmly back on the couch. Satsuki’s pushed the envelope of this friendship too many times already. That’s a line she won’t let herself think about crossing again.
Ryuko makes a noise not dissimilar to an elephant seal as she gets up and flops back onto the couch. Satsuki busies herself with mixing the drinks. She adds an extra splash of vodka to her’s.
“So why do you hate this movie so much? Besides the awful menu screen? Also what the fuck kind of title is that? Is that the name of a character?” Ryuko breaks in her rant to take a sip of the drink Satsuki hands her. “What in god’s green fucking earth is this shit?!” She holds the drink out at arm’s length like its acid.
Satsuki just stares blankly at Ryuko.
“Has the juice gone bad?” She takes a sip of her own drink. It tastes fine to her. “Its just V8 and vodka. Its like a healthy bloody Mary.”
“A healthy blo- Okay next time we drink, I’m giving you a booze-acation.” Ryuko takes another drink and mutters under her breath. “A healthy blood Mary unbelievable.”
Satsuki continues to stare quizzically between Ryuko and her drink. She really doesn’t see anything wrong with her drink choice.
“Well to answer your questions,” Satsuki says taking a sip of her perfectly fine, delicious drink, “I hated this movie when I was filming it because the main actress, Ragyo, was also the one funding the project and had written the script. It was right after I had graduated and would do anything for cash. Well, almost anything,” Satsuki amends throwing a cautious glance at Ryuko, sensitive of the new information Ryuko had shared with her earlier that night. Ryuko, in a rare moment of perceptiveness, sees the look and gives Satsuki a small nod behind her cup.
“Anyway, this woman was an absolute control freak. Like, more than I am.” Whoops, Satsuki did not mean to admit that she was a control freak. She really should not have taken those earlier pulls from the bottle. Ryuko is staring at Satsuki with an expression of pure wonder from hearing Satsuki admit a fault.
Satsuki gives a little shrug and moves along with the story, taking another sip. “She had written this whole story that painted her as some sort of goddess-like person that demanded complete and utter submission from all her “worshippers” or whatever,” Satsuki is sure to add air quotes and a large eye roll before sinking back into her previous position against the couch. “It was just really degrading to see how she treated all the other actors, and even the production crew. Its like she believed this story she had written about herself. She was the one who insisted with this menu style,” Satsuki jerks her chin to the screen. “I just kept using it for a while because its always easier doing the same thing than something new. It wasn’t until a few months later that I decided I didn’t want to be connected to that woman anymore, even through a similar title card. That’s about the same time I got serious about my career in this business and starting doing movies my way.”
Ryuko doesn’t really have anything to say if her slack jaw expression is anything to go by. Satsuki guesses this is the most she’s ever talked about herself, about her past or her current situation, to Ryuko.
“I also stole some people from her,” Satsuki allows herself a little smirk and side eyes Ryuko. This prompts the other woman to shake herself slightly and smirk back at Satsuko.
“How, pray tell, does one go about stealing people from an infallible goddess?” Ryuko leans in closer slightly.
Satsuki finds it easier to ignore her own discomfort/arousal at having Ryuko so close as she keeps sipping her drink. So she takes another drink.
“Iori, you haven’t met him because there’s no real costumes in your film, but he does wardrobe for me, was working for Ragyo at the time. And he had these beautiful uniforms custom made for her. But she would just tear them apart and then force them on the other actors without properly adjusting them and declaring them ‘true beauty,’” Satsuki throws the arm not holding her drink up in a dramatic movement, imitating Ragyo. Ryuko snorts and slumps into the back of the couch a little closer to Satsuki than she was five minutes ago.
“So I complimented him a bunch on them when we were working together because they really were works of art. He approached me when we wrapped filming and asked if he could join my crew. I told him that I didn’t even have one yet, that I was brand new in the business. So he offered to be my first employee. He brought his boyfriend Houka, our resident IT guy, into the mix as well. Then a few months later when I was starting to get a name for myself, Rei, Ragyo’s assistant, shows up at my apartment and says she wants nothing to do with Ragyo and wants to work for me instead. I never asked her what happened, but she’s been an amazing accountant ever since. Saved me thousands in back taxes.”
Ryuko gives her another smirk and takes a deep swallow of her own drink. “Look at you, savior of the masses. You’re a regular porn Jesus.”
Satsuki snorts and pushes Ryuko’s shoulder, effectively moving her out of her personal space. And if her hands lingers on Ryuko’s bare shoulder a few seconds too long, nobody has to know. Fucking bandeaus.
“Alright, enough talk,” Satsuki says decisively setting down her drink a little too hard. Some liquid splashes out, causing Ryuko to laugh from her reclined position after Satsuki shoved her away.
“You get to watch the ego-trip that is Ragyo for yourself.” Satsuki hits the play button with a flourish then settles back into the couch with her drink. Ryuko sits up slightly to pay attention to the movie.
The screen is still black when loud German music starts playing. Ryuko flinches.
“What the fuck.”
Satsuki’s lips quirk. “I told you it was crazy.”
“Okay, first rule. Drink every time creepy ass German music plays,” Ryuko announces, taking a drink.
“We’ll be drunk within twenty minutes then,” Satsuki says gravely. There’s a lot of loud German music to come.
Ryuko stares at Satsuki, then the screen, which has transitioned to a long shot of a woman with silver hair laying on her side in an empty board room, then back to Satsuki.
“You weren’t kidding about the crazy then…” Ryuko whispers in mock horror as she turns back to the screen with wide eyes.
Sastuki smiles grimly and takes one more drink to steel herself before the movie actually begins.
*
“Was that...string play? What the fuck would that even be classified as?” Ryuko half whispers five minutes later.
“After years directing porn, I still have no idea what that was,” Satsuki whispers back.
“Okay well I guess drink every time strings are involved.”
*
“Drink every time glitter happens,” Ryuko says after a particularly shimmery scene takes places between Ragyo and two tall, slender men.
*
“Drink every time Ragyo says ‘true beauty!’”
Satsuki snorts into her cup. They’re both on their second drink and this movie is definitely better drunk, Satsuki think. She should have filmed this movie drunk. She should film all her movies drunk.
*
“Oh god the strings are back! Why did you let this happen?”
“Yeah this is a lot worse than I remember,” Satsuki says with wide eyes. There are a lot more strings than she remembered. Was she even here for this day of filming? Where did all this string even come from?
“Oh fuck where did that spool even go?” Ryuko wails.
“There it is,” Satsuki points as if it isn’t in the center of the screen. “Oh look, glitter. Drink.”
*
“How did she get her hair to look like that? Its almost impressive.”
“Hairspray. I couldn’t look at the stuff for a straight year after this.”
“Amazing,” Ryuko says.
*
“Just drink. For whatever that was,” Ryuko says into her cup, her eyes glued to the screen.
“Yeah,” Satsuki agrees. She’s can’t believe she actually filmed that.
*
“Drink every time two girls are on screen together. I’m really disappointed in you, Satsuki. This is so hetero. I can barely watch it. Like honestly, why are there so many dudes everywhere?” Ryuko is talking more freely now.
“I truly apologize Ryuko. Money is my first love, then women,” she says solemnly with her eyes closed and hands clasped in supplication in front of Ryuko. She cracks an eye open to see Ryuko with pursed lips looking down on her. Then her face splits into a huge grin. Satsuki returns it quickly and far easier than ever before.
*
“Well that just plain traumatizing. I can’t believe I watched that. What is wrong with you, eyebrows? Why did you film that? Why didn’t you warn me?” Ryuko asks from her crouched position over Satsuki laptop. The movie just ended and Ryuko has paused the credits, unable to take the rainbow and gold anymore.
“Hey!” Satsuki says from her slumped position. She’s currently balancing her cup between her boobs and her chin. She sits up so she can yell at Ryuko properly. “I did warn you! I told you she was crazy!”
Ryuko waves her hand dismissively at Satsuki. She doesn’t seem nearly as intoxicated as Satsuki, who is well on her way to drunk. Ryuko starts clicking around on Satsuki’s laptop.
“I wanna watch another Kiryuin original. I need something to wash out all that godawful string from my brain,” she says to Satsuki while still facing her laptop.
Satsuki just sits there for a few seconds, just watching Ryuko. Half naked Ryuko. Half naked Ryuko on her couch in the semi darkness. The only light coming from Satsuki’s laptop. When had they turned off the light? Wait.
Ryuko on Satsuki’s laptop.
Satsuki’s laptop that is currently connected to her external hard drive. The hard drive that contains megabytes of Ryuko from high school when Satsuki was kinda-sorta-not really stalking her under the guise of yearbook club.
Satsuki lunges forward over Ryuko’s lap and clicks on the first file she sees and immediately retracts back to the couch at an alarming speed. She feels slightly dizzy.
Ryuko doesn’t seem phased by Satsuki’s weird behavior in the slightest. Dense, adorable porn star that she is.
“Oh is this a good one?” The title card comes up. Its a computer generated forest scene, dark with some fog. Three hooded figures skitter around the screen before the menu options come up. “This is the one you were talking about earlier, yeah? Three Sisters? The one where they’re really sisters. Freaky. Let’s do this.”
Satsuki can only make a small noise that could be interpreted as confirmation. Her heart is still pounding from the close encounter of Ryuko to her secret shame stash of...well, Ryuko. She leans forward as the movie starts to play to pour herself another drink and suddenly Ryuko’s cup is in front of her face.
“Stop being so wound up, Sats. I’m not gonna judge you for your movies,” Ryuko says softly. Satsuki is pretty sure Ryuko is trying to be sincere somewhere in there so she smiles back at Ryuko.
By the time they’ve settled back into the couch with their cups full of their third (or is fourth?) drink, the first scene is well underway. Satsuki chuckles to herself as she remembers filming this particular movie. Its usually marketed as a fetish film for more than just the incestous angle.
The big moment happens not a minute later.
“Holy shit! Did she just punch her in the face?!” Ryuko yells, clearly beside herself with glee.
Satsuki chuckles again.
“Yeah she did. That was an accident. Apparently that sister was getting a little too into it and just lost her grip. But we kept rolling. It became a theme,” Satsuki says.
“Well fuck then. Drink every time someone gets punched! This is already my favorite movie. Sex and violence,” Ryuko takes a long swig of her drink while she fist pumps the air. “Two out of three of my favorite things!"