Chapter Text
Monday
no one’s seen or heard anything out of you in ages
SO I HAVE BEEN SENT
TO ANNOY YOUR INHUMAN ASS
UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME
i can do this all day
im srs.
everyone else pussies out when you stonewall
BUT NOT ME
FOR I KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD BOSS
AND HOW TO GET MY MINIONS TO ANSWER ME
I’m not your minion.
wow that was faster than expected
i didn’t even need to call you a roomba
Oh and i lied
ONE ANSWER IS NOT ENOUGH
Gonna have a whole conversation
So shuichi stops RIDING MY ASS ABOUT YOU
I thought Rantaro said you liked Shuichi riding your ass?
THE ROBOT IS SASSY
good. was getting a little worried
usually you’d at least answer spacecase by now
Sure. This is when you go ‘That’s a lie!’, right.
you have pierced my poor fragile heart with your cruel unfeeling words
Only a robot could be so very cold
of course i was worried you asshole
It’s okay, you can go buy a printer and call it Keebo.
???????
What’s wrong
Nothing?
YOU DON’T JOKE ABOUT BEING A ROBOT
EVER
SO WHAT THE HELL
What, it’s not funny when I go along with it?
IT REALLY ISN’T
WHY ARE YOU CALLING YOURSELF A PRINTER
Hey
hey
hey
heyx50
Stop.
u know what will make me stop
A hydraulic press?
ow that’s just mean
y u so me to me keeboy
You asked the question.
I did
So. what’s. Wrong.
I will not be put off by nasty reminders!
I can be strong!
for u
ANSWER ME YOU HUNK OF JUNK
Well you see there’s this guy, who keeps texting and calling me a toaster and it’s really dampening my mood.
I DID NOT CALL YOU A TOASTER
today
u know i’m kidding right
Keebs
You do know that?
Right?????
Is it kidding if I agree with you?
WHY ARE YOU AGREEING WITH A BIG FAT LIAR
STOP THAT
YOU’RE MEANT TO BE SMART
I’m meant to be a lot of things.
shit
Can people visit you
now
Right now
Doesn’t have to be me if u want someone else
No. I'm fine, it's just a bad mood.
WHY NOT
CLEARLY YOU NEED SOMEONE
Ownership conflicts.
????
WHAT
DO
YOU
MEAN
And this is why I was ignoring you all until it got sorted.
PUT YOUR EXPLANATION MODULE IN AND EXPLAIN ALREADY
You’ve got enough of a conversation for Shuichi, you can stop caring now.
wow you really think that little of me. that actually hurts a bit
That’s a lie, obvs
explain right now or i’m screenshotting that and sending it to EVERYONE
you will drown in worried texts
It’ll be like there’s 14 of me
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
You’re not my worst nightmare.
darn i thought i was
not wiggling out of answering that easy
I will send it
5
4
3
Don’t.
I need a minute.
I’ll give you two cus im so nice
If you tell anyone this I’m blocking you.
I’m serious.
You will be on the list of people I cannot forgive.
you have a list like that!
who’s on it
wait no i think i know
Are you done?
yessssssssssssssssssss
Alright. So the ‘characters’ we were made into belong to Danganronpa. They own all the rights to them...us...whatever.
cus we signed our rights away like dumbasses! thank you for the reminder, i say as i drink from a cup with my face on it.
You have your own merch? In your HOUSE?
don’t judge me it was free. and purple
Too late. Judging has happened.
hey stop trying to change the subject
Well you guys all had to sign something to that effect. I didn’t. I was borrowed under false pretenses, basically. They wanted to ‘explore the possibilities’ of using a robot. They didn’t get the go ahead to actually do it.
can you dumb that down
Danganronpa basically stole me from the lab and got to cover it up by having a ton of money.
that hive of scum and villainy. What does that have to do with YOU and OWNING
I was getting to that.
sorry
No you aren’t.
true
Since I’m not a human who has rights to sign away they’re claiming I rightfully belong to them. In my entirety.
pardon
I think I was relatively clear.
how are you typing so CALMLY??????
THE FUCK
It’s fine. Most of my coding and design is all on file here at the lab, they just messed with my head a little and let me live out my worst nightmare. I just have to stay out of sight until it’s done with.
You’re talking about your CODING?
WHY DOES THAT MATTER
You said it lots of times.
you should be able to just tell them to screw themselves??? you have a home???
I’m not a person. So my feelings don’t matter about who owns me.
I’M GOING TO FILL THEIR HEADQUARTERS WITH FAKE CHEESE
WHO OWNS YOU?
NO ONE??? NEEDS TO OWN YOU?
Welcome to robophobia, actually a problem edition.
can’t we do something
like i make fun of you for not being a person
but it’s not like
sorry
I’m used to it.
yur making me feel worse
It doesn’t matter. The lab will show enough proof and I can go back to pretending I don’t exist completely at the whims of humans. So don’t panic everyone.
can all of us crowdfund our royalty checks to buy you
Please don’t joke about that.
DID THEY TRY TO BUY YOU???????
you can’t say that
and not ANSWER
They still are. The lab could get quite an income if they agree. Or they get to lose money legally proving they own me.
fuck im sorry
If I was worried about it I would have said something.
uh you know it’s fair of you to be worried?
i’m worried?
I can be as worried as I want, it wouldn’t change that I don’t really have a say in this.
HEY
THAT SOUNDS LIKE UNHEALTHY COPING
STOP STEALING MY THING
I’m fine.
NO YOU AREN’T
CAN’T LIE TO ME
I’M THE MASTER OF LIES
Well that’s why I can’t see anyone right now, and I couldn't think of a reason so I went with ignoring. Make up some lie about repairs or something.
you really don’t want me to tell anyone this
I made that very clear. Don’t tell anyone.
like this is super screwed up? they should know?
So they can worry for no reason over something they can do nothing about?
keebs
are you sure
You can tell everyone if they buy me. Since I’d probably lose my phone if that happened.
?????????
YOU STILL THINK THAT’S A POSSIBILITY
AND WANT TO HIDE IT
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
It’s a lot of money. I couldn’t fault them if they took it.
you couldn’t fault them MY ASS
i’d fault them so hard we’d have a new continent
Being human has its privileges.
YOURE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET
Kaitos better at this crap urgh
There’s no point in being upset.
THERE DOESN’T NEED TO BE A POINT
STOP LYING TO YOURSELF
Kokichi.
yeS?
Why are you acting like I’m a person now?
BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE?
WE BONDED THROUGH TRAUMA
Do you know how many clips of you they used to prove I deserve no rights?
please tell me you’re kidding
I am.
ok that’s a lie
There’s no fooling you.
It’s me. I’m the raccoon crawling in the dumpster, the shame is the garbage i feast upon
It’s fine, I didn’t really have a chance at being considered a person anyway. Everyone did it. Literally even.
??? literally?
Oh right, you were dead. Don’t worry about it.
youre not gonna make me watch it to see what you mean are you
I’m not telling you. You can ask Shuichi or Himiko.
i’ll tell you what being a human pancake was like in exchange
I don’t want to know that.
drat
wait why shouldn’t i ask maki
She doesn’t like talking about...that either.
ohok
do you hate me?
I’m talking to you?
like apparently you’re fine with being sold like a puppy so you’re hard to place!
I’m not fine with it, just realistic. I don’t hate you, either. Find you incredibly annoying?
Yes.
If I hated people who made robophobic comments I’d hate everyone.
do you know how depressing that sounds
Beep boop, what are emotions.
still not funny!
Payback. I told you it wasn’t funny first.
Okokoksheesh
r u scared
No.
i h8 liars
Keep hating.
there’s gotta be something we can do?
You can drop it? Talk about literally anything else?
so when I switched places with Kaito-
NOT THAT EITHER
oh i got the all caps!
achievement unlocked
How’s everyone been?
other than worried about your metal ass?
Other than that.
pretty ok. still can’t really go out in public without someone recognizing. hoodies are very in for our friend group.
shuichi’s got a stupid hat on again. we’re managing. Miu thinks i stole your arms and that’s why you aren’t answering
can you tell her i didn’t steal your arms
You didn’t steal my arms. Just my hands.
Are the nightmares getting any better?
hahahahahahahahahahahaveryfunny
No
i can’t go to the preserves aisle without wanting to vomit, it’s great!
One upside to not needing sleep.
Are you seeing anyone about that? You should.
‘Oh therapist i’m a rich lad that feels like i’m oozing and can barely breathe when I see jam’
‘have you tried not looking at jam?’
‘thanks i’m cured!’
That’s a no then.
wow you’ve gotten good at this
You should still go. They’re free. Dying is traumatic.
i’m not going to tell some random asshole who probably watched me die why i am traumatized by dying
They have people who don’t watch for that reason.
bet they’re all liars
hey wait a second YOU DIED TOO, you don’t get to judge me
I didn’t get crushed by a hydraulic press.
YOU BLEW UP
It was a self destruct.
LIKE THAT MAKES IT BETTER?
oh hey does that make us suicide buddies
we can get t-shirts
No. That’s just weird and overly morbid.
you’re no fun
Jk you don’t even wear shirts
you ever feel like you’re dying again
Sometimes. It’s disabled so I can determine it's actually impossible and calm down.
see, bonded by trauma
gotta keep a light on when i sleep or i think i’m there again
it sucks
You need to get a new hobby and make some new memories so your brain has more options to pick from.
says mr locked up in a lab this whole time
Thanks for the reminder.
sorry
i try not to think too hard so i just say shit
I hung out with Miu. I’m used to it. Still, go do things. Tell me stuff everyone else is doing.
that bored huh
I’m reading a lot.
if you let me tell people you’d have more people to talk to
I already said no, okay? Stop it.
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnne
btw when kaede finds out (and she will find out) you swore me to secrecy
You’re the only one who knows, so she won’t.
she could steal my phone!
She isn’t going to steal your phone.
she’s super good at reading over people’s shoulders!
Your lies are getting worse.
i’m not lying!
ok i am w/e
You and Kaito doing okay? You two were avoiding looking at each other when we…stopped being dead.
oh yeah. he felt bad, i felt bad, it didn’t work but it’s fine now. not being dead helps.
maki will kill me if i steal her boy though so…
not toooooooooo chatty
Please don’t kidnap Kaito.
kidnap? OH THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT
Kidnapping is what you call stealing another human being though?
keebo i know you’re serious but you’re killing me right now.
there is no literal stealing involved.
promise
In my defense it’s hard to tell with you.
robot has a point
anyway. I will return
i must go and make a evil secret organization
as the one i remember does not actually exist
which is a shame since i miss people that aren’t real hahaha
then we’ll break you out and spray paint a building or something
It’ll be great
Enjoy your grocery shopping.
well if you WANT it to sound boring then fine, i will.
Thursday
i know you aren’t doing anything
but apparently you’re a chatbot and won’t start conversations
SO
when you can go outside
i will give u shuichi’s stupid hat
and you’ll dispose of it
I’m not going to get rid of his hat.
my plans to stop him from hiding his beautiful face, foiled again
by the unexpected defiance of my most loyal minion
Is there something you wanted to say, or are you just being weird.
i’m always weird
u can go outside soon right?
Should be decided by the end of the week.
i don’t like how you said decided
try again
You’re the one that lies, not me.
THAT’S NOT HELPING
I can be petty about how I get revenge.
jerk
even though you just said you’re not a liar
youre lying
you probably had to look up the word revenge in the dictionary
I did not.
did u talk to maki
Yes. You shouldn’t have badgered her into texting me, that’s just rude.
u called yourself a printer i had full right to sic her on you
u know ur thankful for it
hiding from everyone because you don’t want to upset people when you’re a mess
Gee thanks. You don’t seriously want to hear it.
yes i do
i feel alone and afraid and i can do w/e i want
so idono how yur coping
That’s why you should take the therapy.
this isn’t about me! i’m not letting you change the subject!
I don’t know what you want from me.
to say how you’re feeling??? so we can help?????
My feelings don’t change anything, we went over this.
they still matter. you’ll just feel worse if you hide it
cus i don’t think you’ve had anyone on your side over there
people who made you are assholes
They’re not assholes.
did u tell any of them you’re scared
They’re aware of my opinion.
did u tell them yur SCARED
I’m not scared.
l i a r
Okay fine. I’m terrified. Are you happy now?
did you TELL THEM THAT
No.
TELL THEM? YOU OVERPROTECTIVE APPLIANCE.
I don’t want to tell them.
why not
They can say yes even if I tell them, you know.
well you claim they aren’t assholes so they WON’T if you TELL THEM
It’s not that simple for me, okay?
yes it is! you don’t like it, Danganronpa is the enemy and all they gotta do is say no, u said they can prove they can’t have you
I don’t get rights just for existing.
or maybe yes you should?????
Why are you arguing that? Do you think it’s funny?
this is very not funny
but apparently I need to make robophobia remarks on your behalf because YOU ARENT FOR SOME REASON
I had my character arc and accepted what I am, remember.
no I was dead
also thats really not funny
you still suck at jokes
go back to the ones where you threatened to sue people
they’re nostalgic
i know you’re there
I don’t want to play whatever game you’re up to.
im not playing anything
I know you like lying but can you just stop? I know you don’t really care.
why do you think I dont care
who filled your head with lies
who must I set my legion on minions on
You told me yourself? Repeatedly?
we arent fighting for our lives anymore ok
dont need to convince you I’m the mastermind
im sorry I didnt trust you
i didnt trust anyone
it was a really easy thing to pick at to push you away so i used it
i thought you were with the mastermind
Because I’m a robot.
yes
robophobia strikes again
the people I thought I could trust died first i wasn’t taking any chances
Well you weren’t wrong, I was just a gimmick.
it sounds really bad when you say that
why aren’t you ranting about it or something
it’s like you agree with those assholes
What I think doesn’t matter, so getting worked up about it is pointless.
why do you think its pointless
Ask Shuichi.
do you want to talk to him about it
No, I don’t.
why
This is why I don’t get you. I’m not falling for it okay? Just cut it out.
ok then why did you tell me if you won’t trust me when I say I’m not lying and want to know
Do you really want me to answer that.
YES?????
I figured you’d hear it, make another joke about it and drop it. Since you already know I’m not a person.
i think I should be offended
like I get it, you didn’t really have any downtime from in there to out here
still
u really think that little of me? kaito told you how much i hated the whole thing didn't he?
Almost everything I knew was a lie, all the people I know and recognize are living lies.
And you, the one who lies to try and get the best outcome is suddenly on board the ‘robots have feelings train’.
Excuse me for being skeptical.
what evil goal could I possibly have here? it’s over, we’re done. don’t have to lie to you guys as much.
It’s fun for you.
card games are fun, little jabs are fun. setting up some long con to mock someone isn’t fun
you think I was going to wait until you said you’re grateful for support and then mock you for it??? im evil not an absolute monster.
do you want me to call and say sorry? is that more real to you?
have you thought this the whole time???
I wouldn’t be able to tell anyway. You’re good at lying and I’m still terrible at guessing moods.
we should have forced you to the group therapy
Didn’t kill anyone or get killed by someone, I’m exempt.
gonna have kaito and kaede tag team for ‘shit we didn’t think about dealing with because we were busy going IM NOT DEAD’
gonta can make little butterfly cookies or something
we don’t tell miu until the last second because she’ll bring things
Do they talk to you often? Considering...well you know.
not super often. interests don’t match much but well
you’re right in that we only really know one another, and don’t recognize anyone we might have known before
which is super awkward
angie keeps thinking someone’s breaking in but it’s their parents
probably going to move out
took gonta to a natural history museum tho
bugs are nicer when they can’t get you. I guess. he was excited?
u gonna say anything or you just on listen rn
maybe you’re looking for a power outlet or something
miu was incredibly offended you answered me and not her btw. so might have played up being unable to make understandable sentences, but you answered me because i never make sense anyway
might want to remember that when you see her. she’s pretty put out that everyone’s back but...also not back
oh and himiko is on board plan ‘fuck your stupid meetup you have made me forget agreeing to’
so that’ll probably be fun, having zero winners show up
which is against contract but eh. maki’s already looking for lawyers
You know, being able to make one final choice and still have it invalidated is frustrating. So good for them.
figured you’d agree
talking from experience?
It’s not like someone else self destructed me. The self part is key.
Mmmmmm. you’d rather have stayed dead?
I’ll update you on that in 72 hours.
ok I did not expect that answer
that’s pretty dark keeboy not gonna lie
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answers to then.
oh I want to know the answer! even if i dont like it
since you know we all care about you?
I am noting a pattern in the questions you don’t answer!
and you haven’t met Ryoma’s new cat yet
you’d love it. its small and fluffy but can claw your eyes out if youre rude
you can have a purring contest with it
Are you his new cat?
NO
im much cuter thank you
I doubt this. Based on pictures cats seem adorable.
spurned again
will my heartbreak never end
wait did you imply im soft and fluffy
im touched
It was more the ‘small’ and ‘claw your eyes out’ parts.
oof right for the heart
though they are admirable qualities I’ll take it
so when’s the last time you’ve seen someone
36 hours ago?
thats kind of a long time
Not really.
ok when’s the last time you had a conversation. In person.
Does it matter?
humour me here i have hunches that need crunching
4½ days ago.
so if you hear an explosion that will be me coming to shake sense into people. i can get miu to make it and tenko can throw it
you saw someone and what they just looked at you and left?
I didn’t have anything to say. It was just a check in.
you’d greet everyone at breakfast
I should know these people and I don’t. It’s easier not to talk.
You said it yourself, it’s awkward
four days tho
I bet you haven’t talked to anyone face to face in that long either. I just don’t want to.
i have so! tenko even threatened to flip me
cus i tried to swap himiko’s old hat with shuichi’s stupid hat
i would have gotten away with it too, if i remembered she had a door alarm
She has a new hat?
well yeah we can’t go in public dressed like before, and the hat is kind of obvious
i should hate that outfit but i can’t bring myself to burn it
cus i guess it’s literally ‘part’ of me thanks to SCREWING WITH MY BRAIN urgh why can’t i just dislike it
You answered your own question there.
yes indeedy i did
How much do you know about inventions thanks to Miu?
what is this forbidding aura
i am at a precipice and only the correct answer will satisfy the guardian
Forget it.
nononononononono
i don’t know a lot
she blathers about it a lot tho so. more than I want to know
Do you know what she does with all the inventions she’s done with?
are you trying to lead me into an unflattering comparison
only i choose when to make unflattering comparisons
It’s a question.
i doubt this!
but ok we’ll play along
she tries selling the idea or just keeps em all, or pawns em on people
it’s barely been a month so we haven’t drowned yet
yet i know she will kill us all
ok it’s not that bad it’s more plans than actual things
Okay. Thanks.
what are you worried she’ll get bored of you or something
like she’s a kinky bitch but i don’t think she’s gonna just decide i am bored of the robot, better never talk to him again
That was a reach and a half.
OR WAS IT
(it was not)
If you say so.
i do
so now i need to actually watch that tripe
since whatever it is that happened
i need to know
and u won’t tell me
as the trauma is too much
I already said you can ask two other people if you really want to know.
yeah but it’ll be what they think about it
might not say the part that bothers you, since they aren’t you or anything
is why you wouldn’t ask kaito what it was like when i got crushed if you wanted the true gooey details
I wouldn’t ask you that either. Why do you keep trying to tell me it.
cus you all deserve to know the absolute joy of it
i have to remember it so i’m dragging at least one of you with me
Charming. Don’t worry, it’s obvious enough that no matter how they tell it you could probably figure it out.
a trauma shared is a trauma halved!
That’s not a saying.
trauma is totally a problem, you need to be more accepting keebo
I’m taking a walk.
okiedokie
text if you wanna
don’t have to wait for someone to speak first
dont care if it’s rude or w/e
(it’s not rude that’s why you have our numbers)
(to use them)