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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of You've Got the Chroma Key to My Heart
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Published:
2020-02-25
Words:
1,318
Chapters:
1/1
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15
Kudos:
98
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The Foley of Man

Summary:

Kuroo shoots Bokuto a lopsided grin and opens his arms for a hug. “Bring it in, Bo. C’mon man, give your best bud a smooch.”

Bokuto takes a breath. This is fine. Just a regular day, smooching the homies in the makeshift foley studio. Nothing gay about that.

Except that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The line between peace and chaos becomes exponentially thinner within a 10-meter radius of Bokuto Koutarou. It’s not always him that causes the chaos, but he’s bound to join in at some point, which is just the slightly terrifying reality that his fellow college students face every day. So when Bokuto’s library study session with his roommate Akaashi is peaceful for an uncomfortably long time, it has everyone in the vicinity a little on edge.

No one in the library is surprised when Bokuto’s equally chaotic partner in crime, Kuroo, bursts through the doors panting, with a manic look in his eyes and a neon orange sticky note on his forehead. He gets a myriad of glares and some harsh shushing from more than one librarian, which is typical. What is surprising, however - and Bokuto is the first one to notice - is the pile of poorly stapled papers under his arm. Not a rare occurrence in and of itself, but usually the papers would be covered in chemical formulas and way too many five-syllable words for Bokuto’s comfort.

This pile of papers appears to be a screenplay.

Bokuto and Akaashi abandon their textbooks and gesture to an empty chair.

“Bro, you’re a STEM student,” Bokuto says, eyeing the screenplay. “What are you doing with the script for…” he squints at the title, “ Lasso of Lust 2: This Town is Big Enough for the Both of Us ?”

Akaashi is visibly holding back laughter.

Kuroo sighs. “You know Terushima? The hot film student with the bleached hair and the tongue piercing?” he says.

Bokuto frowns. He can barely admit, even to himself, that it irks him to hear Kuroo call other people hot. Not that he has the right to be annoyed - he and Kuroo are just friends - but he'd rather not have to be reminded of just how unrequited his crush is.

He tunes back into the conversation in time to hear Kuroo say, “So since his foley guy is one of the group members who had to leave, I agreed to do the sound effects for his first draft of the film. Just saw him at the gym and he asked me how progress was.”

“Okay, the whole situation is too weird for me to deal with right now,” Akaashi says. “But a little academic dishonesty never hurt anybody. So why are you so panicked? And why,” he peels the sticky note off Kuroo’s forehead, “does this have Shimizu Kiyoko’s name and phone number on it?”

“Oh shit, I’ve gotta give that to Yachi.”

Akaashi hands him the paper. “You haven’t answered my first question.”

“I…” Kuroo begins. He trails off and refuses to meet anyone’s eyes.

Bokuto wonders if he should be worried and tries to conjure up a mental image of Terushima to gauge whether he could beat him in a fight.

“I’m under a bit of pressure,” Kuroo finally says. “I need to have it all done in three days.”

“Dude what?” Bokuto says, eyebrows furrowed. “Why is he making a science nerd do his film homework for him with a time crunch like that? Shouldn’t he get some other art student to help?”

“You don’t have to do other people’s work for them just because you’re friends,” Akaashi says. “Bokuto’s right. Terushima isn’t even in your major, don’t let him take advantage of your status as Gym Buds or whatever.”

Kuroo shakes his head slowly. “That’s the worst part. He only asked me to do this because I owe him a favor after he helped me collect a bunch of data on developing film. So I can’t even pretend this is injustice.”

“But he should have given you more time,” Bokuto retorts, indignant. “Three days? Who does this guy think he is.”

“He gave me three weeks.”

“WHAT?!” A chorus of shushing erupts from the surrounding tables. Bokuto brings his voice down to a stage whisper. “What?! Three whole weeks?”

“Yeah.” Kuroo buries his head in his hands, the stench of defeat palpable in the air around him. Though it may just be the stench of unwashed gym clothes. “I just kind of… forgot. Until now.”

“God, bro. You’re a mess,” Bokuto says. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

Kuroo gets a dangerous glint in his eye. “Yeah,” he says. “There might be.”

 

+++

 

Kuroo shoots Bokuto a lopsided grin and opens his arms for a hug. “Bring it in, Bo. C’mon man, give your best bud a smooch.”

Bokuto takes a breath. This is fine. Just a regular day, smooching the homies in the makeshift foley studio. Nothing gay about that.

Except that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it?

As much as junior high Bokuto was a perpetuator of the no homo bro agenda and routinely denied how attracted he was to Michael B. Jordan on pain of death (or worse, humiliation), college Bokuto has escaped the steely grip of internalized homophobia. Which, in essence, is the long way of saying he wants his first kiss with Kuroo to actually be gay. And not in front of Akaashi’s ASMR microphone, which is balanced haphazardly on a pile of chemistry books on Kuroo’s bed.

Akaashi looks up from the manga he’s been absorbed in for the past hour, stolen from Kuroo’s unsuspecting roommate’s desk. “Have we really exhausted all our other options?”

Kuroo nods. “The wet tissue and bowl method was too gross, kissing my own arm was the saddest shit I’ve ever done, and none of the banana chewing noises were sexy. At all.”

“Shame. Really thought that last one was a winner.”

“This rootin’ tootin’ cowboy romance deserves the sexiest sound effects we have to offer,” Kuroo says solemnly. “And that means one of you is locking lips with me. Unless of course you’d rather kiss each other, in which case I’m more than happy to watch.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “I’m heading out to get some snacks. Want anything?”

Bokuto’s eyes widen. He tries to telepathically let Akaashi know that leaving would be the worst possible thing he could do at this moment, and that if he does leave Bokuto will personally glue every single one of Akaashi’s pencils to his desk.

Either the message doesn’t get through or Akaashi doesn’t care, because the next second he’s gone.

At this point Bokuto is on the verge of panicking. If he refuses to help Kuroo with this bit of the project, he’s letting him down. But if he does help, his first kiss with his favorite person will be immortalized in the first iteration of Lasso of Lust 2: This Town is Big Enough for the Both of Us . And he’s really not vibing with that right now.

“Hey, man,” Kuroo says. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I promise I don’t have cooties though, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

Bokuto laughs weakly. “Yeah, sure.”

“What, worried I’m gonna be a better kisser than you? Because newsflash: I am, and you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

When Bokuto doesn’t reply, Kuroo’s face morphs into a frown. He reaches over to cup Bokuto’s face in his hands, squishing his cheeks together. “Hey, snap out of it, dude. I’m not making you do anything you’re not comfortable with. That’s not what bros are for.”

Their faces are too close. Bokuto holds his breath.

“You trust me, right?” Kuroo sounds legitimately worried.

Now that just won’t fly.

Bokuto bullies his brain into working again and puts his hands over Kuroo’s. “Of course I trust you, man,” he says. It sounds stupid with his cheeks all squished and his mouth in an attempted smile, but the message gets across nonetheless.

Kuroo grins back, then leans forward and plants an exaggerated kiss on his captive friend’s forehead. “Cool,” he says. “’Cause you’re my getaway driver when the cops come after me for helping out with this god awful movie.”

Notes:

the next installment of this series will be the screenplay for lasso of lust 2: this town is big enough for the both of us

 

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