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Ashe’s pleasant Saturday morning was interrupted by a furious knocking on the door to his apartment. Which was a shame; it had been so quiet and peaceful that the noise had scared Flayn, his cat, off of his lap to hide under the chair. Sighing, he set down his cup of hot tea to greet whoever was at the door.
“Oh!” Ashe exclaimed when he saw a shock of blue hair through the peephole. He scrambled to lift the latch and turn the lock. In the doorframe stood his friend, Caspar, looking thoroughly pissed-off. The short, muscular man was wearing a loose tank top and old cargo shorts, and his hair was tossed in every direction.
He should’ve expected that it would be him. Caspar was always an early bird, and often went running with him in the mornings. But he would never have expected him on a Saturday. Saturday was his designated “Cuddle With Linhardt” day, where he usually stayed in with his sleepy boyfriend. When he did go out, it was with Linhardt by his side. But it was just him this time, and he didn’t look happy about it.
“Hey, Ashe. I’m gonna crash here for a bit. You’re cool with that right?” Caspar said as he walked in, not bothering to wait for a response.
“Wait, what?” Ashe asked, confused. “Why do you need—”
Caspar had already flopped on the couch, the drawstring bag he had brought slumped lazily beside him. “Thanks, bro,” he said, even though he still hadn’t quite given him permission.
“Where’s Linhardt?” Ashe asked.
Caspar turned to his direction, his striking blue eyes piercing angrily into his own. “We are not talking about him right now.”
“Oh.” Ashe regretted bringing it up; there was definitely something up between them. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on, but you can stay as long as you like.”
“Thanks,” Caspar mumbled into a pillow.
Ashe settled back into his chair, absently taking a sip of his now lukewarm tea. He debated getting up to heat it in the microwave when Flayn settled in his lap once again, so he decided to go right back to reading the fantasy novel he was working through. His mind wandered as he tried to focus on the words on the page. Caspar and Linhardt usually got along well (maybe a little too well, what with all of their public displays of affection.) They were casual and comfortable with each other, almost like a married couple. Sometimes, he forgot they weren’t. Whatever they were quarreling about, it must be quite serious.
After no more than 30 minutes of moping around, Caspar shot up off the couch. “I’m going to the gym, Ashe. I’ll be back… I dunno. Before dinnertime.”
Ashe looked up from his book to see his friend’s swollen, red-rimmed eyes. He decided not to point it out. “I can go with you, if you’d like,” he offered.
“You wouldn’t want to. I might be a while.”
He decided not to press it. His cats needed to be fed at some point, after all.
It was, in fact, a while before Caspar burst through the door again, sweat-soaked and shirtless. His expression didn’t look any less grumpy.
“Left my shirt at the gym by accident. Smelled like shit anyway,” he grunted.
Ashe, who was stirring a soup he was making for dinner, turned off the stove and scratched his head. “How on earth did you forget your shirt?”
Strangely, he had a sneaking suspicion that this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Caspar’s mind was an anomaly.
“I dunno. I just decided to run all the way back here instead of taking the bus, and I didn’t think about how I’d be leaving it there. Ugh, I didn’t bring an extra either. Not going back to my place to get one, though.”
Ashe sighed. There was no way any of his own shirts would accommodate his considerable bulk. “Why don’t you take a shower?” he suggested. “I don’t have any shirts that would fit you, but I can go up and grab one of your—”
“No!” Caspar shouted suddenly. “I mean, don’t bother! I’ll give you some cash and you can buy one of those five dollar ones from a retail store. Or I can just go without one for a little. Just— just don’t go back to my place.”
“Geez, Caspar. You should wash up, and I’ll put your shorts in the laundry while I run to the store. I forgot an ingredient for the soup I’m making anyway.”
Caspar sighed before forcing a smile. “Thanks, bro. Just take all the cash outta my wallet, it’s like 40 bucks. You’ve done a lot for me today.”
When Ashe returned from the store, he found Caspar (covered only by a towel wrapped around his waist) sobbing on the couch.
“Caspar?” Ashe asked softy, hoping not to provoke him.
“Oh. Hi, I guess,” he responded glumly. “You got back quicker than I thought you would.”
Ashe got to work spreading the groceries on the counter. “I put your shirt on the table. Your shorts should be clean, but they might not be dry yet.”
If this were a sitcom, Ashe, thought, seeing a man with such an impressive physique crying his eyes out in only a towel on his friend’s couch might have been pretty funny. In real life, it was just depressing. Especially since Caspar was usually so peppy and upbeat. Much unlike his languid, sometimes apathetic boyfriend. Ashe had always wondered how the two of them got along so well (most of the time, at least.) They were so different, like a cat and a dog living together. Perhaps squabbling between them was inevitable.
Once Caspar was dressed and Ashe finished the soup, the two sat at the small kitchen table for dinner. It seemed that at least Caspar’s appetite was unaffected by whatever was going on. He wolfed down his meal and went back for seconds— thirds— before Ashe had even gotten halfway through his own bowl.
When Caspar sat back down at the table, he stirred his soup absently, staring down into it. “Hey, do you think my voice is annoying?” he asked, seemingly out of the blue.
“What? No! What gives you that idea?” Ashe exclaimed.
Caspar shook his head. “I dunno. Some dude in high school said it was annoying and sounded stupid or something. I was wondering if Linhardt is… sick of hearing it.”
“Listen. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but I can guarantee you that your voice isn’t the problem.”
“I guess,” Caspar trailed off when one of Ashe’s cats nuzzled against his leg. He pointed at it. “This guy can have the rest of my meal. It’s amazing, but I’m not that hungry anymore.”
“It’s getting quite late. If you want to go to bed, I’ll get you an extra blanket and pillow so you can sleep on the couch.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Ashe. I guess I am pretty tired. I really worked up a sweat today.”
He did. Caspar’s shorts and boxers reeked like nothing else when he put them in the wash. Ashe felt bad for Linhardt if he ever had to deal with his laundry.
“Oh, just a heads up,” Ashe started. “Hilda will be here for breakfast tomorrow. Want me to tell her to bring an extra coffee?”
“Marianne isn’t coming with her?” Caspar asked. He knew that the couple usually had breakfast with Ashe on Sundays.
Ashe sighed. “Apparently, she can’t make it this time.”
“Well then, I’ll take her place,” Caspar shot him a thumbs up.
~~~
“Caspar, Hilda’s almost here.” Ashe shook gently on his friend’s shoulder. “You should get up.”
With a yawn and a dramatic stretch, Caspar untangled himself from the blanket. He had slept in just his boxers. There was crust around his eyes, and a hint of stubble dotted his face. “What time is it?” he asked as he pulled on his shirt.
“About 8:00.”
“Damn it, I missed my morning workout time.”
“I think you worked out enough yesterday for a whole week,” Ashe laughed. “And you only have one pair of shorts, anyway.”
Caspar sighed, scratching his fingers through his fluffy hair. Every muscle in his body seemed to scream in resistance to his movements. And Linhardt wasn’t next to him, with his soft hair spilling over the pillow, pressing lazy kisses everywhere he ached. A pain seemed to lurch in his chest at the thought of them being apart. Had it really been just a day? He was already missing his hair, his lips, the feeling of his skin on his own. And why was it suddenly so difficult to stay angry with him? Just because he was unreasonably gorgeous didn’t excuse—
“Good morning, Ashe!” The door opened without a knock to a high, cheerful voice. “And to you too, Caspar!”
Caspar scrambled to put on his shorts from under the blanket as Hilda walked in. There were three cups of coffee in the drink holder she carried, and her long pink twintails bobbed behind her. She was as stylish as ever, sporting a fashionable crop-top and black leggings to match. Kicking off her heels, she hung her designer purse on the coathanger.
“Hello, Hilda.” Ashe greeted, taking the cups out of her hands to set them on the counter.
“Hey,” Caspar waved lazily. He sat up and fished out a vanilla protein shake from his bag before coming to the table.
“Someone’s uncharacteristically pouty today,” Hilda commented, eyeing Caspar as she took her seat. “Let me guess: you and Linhardt are having a bit of a lover’s quarrel?”
“H— how did you know?” Caspar exclaimed.
“Marianne told me. She was on the phone with Lin yesterday. He seemed quite upset.”
Caspar grunted. “Hmph. Doubt it. He didn’t even bother to check up on me.”
“Oh, I’m sure he— wait, what are you doing?” Ashe exclaimed.
“What?” Caspar said as he finished pouring his protein shake into his cup of coffee. “You know I don’t like it bitter.”
“And pouring in one of those gross shakes helps the taste?” Hilda grimaced. “You could have just told Ashe to order you something sweeter.”
Caspar shook his head. “Ugh, gimme a break.”
“Why don’t you tell us what’s going on?” Ashe suggested. “I mean, you don’t have to if it’s too much, but talking’s easier if we’re on the same page.”
“Oh, fine. I’ll tell you.” Caspar took a long sip of his coffee-protein-shake concoction. “Linhardt said I wasn’t big enough to be a planet.”
Ashe and Hilda’s jaws dropped. “What?!”
~One Day Earlier~
It may have been noon, but Linhardt had just woken up when he shuffled into the living room with a cup of coffee in his hand. Caspar was on the couch, cooling off from his morning workout while watching TV.
“Linny! You’re finally awake!” he called.
“An astute observation, Caspar. You didn’t want to stay in bed with me?”
“Hey! You didn’t stop with your classwork until like, 1:00 last night. Aren’t we supposed to, ya know, spend time together on Friday nights?”
“Unfortunately, my PhD can’t earn itself,” Linhardt sighed.
Caspar tried to understand. He knew that Linhardt had a lot to do for all of his classes (they were all online, but that didn’t decrease the workload.) Besides, he was very busy himself: as a personal trainer, he had a ton of clients to work with, and he’d been working longer hours lately. And really, he supposed, they could cuddle any day. Maybe even right now!
“C’mere, Lin.” he said, patting the space beside him on the couch. Linhardt walked over and sat down, taking small sips of his coffee.
“What are you watching?” Linhardt asked.
Caspar looked at the screen. “I dunno, some boring astronomy documentary thing. Honestly I just turned on the T.V. to whatever was on.”
“Astronomy isn’t boring,” Linhardt drawled. “But I’d never expect you to be entertained by a documentary.”
“This one’s bullshit anyway!” Caspar exclaimed.
“And why is that?”
“They don’t even count Pluto as a planet. It’s a big round ball; obviously it’s a planet!”
Linhardt laughed a little. “Caspar, Pluto isn’t a planet.”
“You’re on their side now? What the hell, I thought you were smarter than that!”
“Who’s side?”
“The people who exclude Pluto just because he’s small!”
“I think you misunderstand the scientific qualifications that it takes for a celestial body to be considered—”
“Small boys can be planets too! Equal opportunity Solar System!”
“That’s not even what ‘equal opportunity’ means. And if we were to consider Pluto a planet, hundreds of other objects in the Solar System could be classified as one. That would be far too much.”
“Whatever! They all deserve to hang with the big boys!”
“Why in the world are you taking this so personally, Cas? Planets aren’t even sentient beings.” Linhardt tapped his chin. “Oh, I get it,” he grinned. “It’s because you’re short.”
“What the hell, Lin! You’re gonna pull that? What, am I not a planet?”
“In fact, Caspar, you aren’t,” Linhardt still had a smug expression on his face.
Caspar stood up. “I thought I meant something to you!”
Linhardt threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “You’re crazy! What on earth are you talking about? All I’m saying is that scientifically—”
“I’m leaving forever!” Caspar yelled, running to the door. “Stupid tall science people!”
“Cas, wait—” Linhardt started, but the door had already slammed shut.
~Back to Present~
“So that’s what you were so angry about?” Ashe asked, trying his best to contain his laughter.
Hilda wasn’t. “Of course this is the kind of thing you dorks would be arguing about,” she laughed.
“It’s not funny!” Caspar said.
Ashe couldn’t help laughing now as giggles rang through the apartment. “I hate to say it, but it’s hilarious,” he said through his mirth.
“Well, Pluto is a planet, right?”
“I’m not all sciency like Lin, so I can’t tell you,” said Hilda. “But I can tell you that you’re not a planet.”
“Ugh, I know that! I was just caught up in the moment and… I just wanna be his world, ya know?”
Hilda smiled. “Oh Cas, you’re such a sap.”
“You should talk to him again,” Ashe suggested. “It seems like you’re really missing him now that you’ve cooled off a little.”
“I know, but…” his voice broke, and tears formed in the corners of his eyes. “He’s just so smart and beautiful and he’s probably realized that he’s sick of living with a dumbass like me.”
Hilda and Ashe shared a look before staring at him incredulously. “Linhardt? Sick of you? That’s not possible.”
“Hilda’s right,” said Ashe. “And I bet that he’s really missing you right now as well.”
Caspar shook his head and looked down at his lap. “There’s no way he’ll want to see me right now.”
~~~
When Linhardt woke up, he was cold even under the comforter. Groggily, he shifted himself over, seeking Caspar’s warmth. There was nothing. The realization that the other side of the bed was empty was what shook him fully awake. The memories of the day before flooded into his mind rapidly; the stupid argument, the way his boyfriend stormed out of the apartment, the phone conversation he’d had with Marianne shortly after when he wondered if she or Hilda knew where he went. He still hadn’t sorted it all out.
He didn’t want to think about it yesterday. As soon as Marianne had hung up, he’d gone back to bed, unable to focus on his work. He must’ve stayed in bed for well over twelve hours— he felt gross; clammy and anemic.
Sighing, Linhardt reached for his phone, which he hadn’t bothered to plug in. 12:34. He’d been in bed for almost a whole day. He scrolled through his notifications as he rubbed the crust out of his eyes, checking to see if he’d gotten any missed calls or texts from his boyfriend. Again, nothing. He looked back through their text history; a mess of memes and flirtations and gibberish he doubted anyone else could comprehend. It made his heart ache terribly. Linhardt hated how much he already missed Caspar. How he hadn’t heard his voice in almost 24 hours (he loved Caspar’s voice, and he’d give anything to hear it again.) And he hated how uncertain everything was. He couldn’t have meant it when he said he was “leaving forever,” could he? Would he even be able to bear it if he did? He was well aware that the thought was dramatic, but he found it difficult to care in the moment.
All of yesterday, Linhardt had been waiting for Caspar to come back through the door. To say that he was sorry, and that he was being unreasonable, and that he was on edge because his clients kept trying to change their schedules. Now, as he was lying down alone in their bed, eyes aching and head swimming, he thought that maybe Caspar wasn’t the one who owed him an apology. He shouldn’t have pushed such a ridiculous argument when he was stressed out and obviously just wanted to cuddle. And looking back, the short joke he’d made really did seem like a low blow. Besides, he was the one who chose to do classwork all of Friday night even though he knew that Caspar had been looking forward to spending time with him.
Linhardt sat up. First, he’d eat something to stop the spots that appeared at the edge of his vision. Then, he’d take a much needed shower. And finally (hopefully sooner rather than later,) he’d call his boyfriend.
~~~
Caspar had been fiddling with his phone for the past hour, debating on whether or not to call Linhardt. His friends, who were sitting on either side of him on the couch, were getting more annoyed by the second.
“Oh. My. God.” Hilda exclaimed suddenly. “Push the damn call button or I’m doing it for you.”
“No!” Caspar clutched his phone to his chest, defensively.
“Woah, calm down. Did you think I’d actually do that?” she frowned.
“Sorry. I’m just kinda on edge right now.”
“We get it, Mr. Obvious. Now, won’t you just call him already?”
“I doubt he wants to hear my annoying voice anymore! I can’t do this!”
Ashe paused the show he was watching on the T.V. “This again? I’ve already told you that your voice isn’t the problem.”
“You’re so loud all the time,” said Hilda. “Since when were you ever self-conscious about your voice—”
Without warning, Linhardt’s ringtone started blaring from Caspar’s phone.
“Shit!” he exclaimed. “What do I do?”
“Just answer it!” Ashe and Hilda said, almost in unison.
“Okay, I get it!” said Caspar, finally pressing the answer button. “Linhardt?” he asked as he raised the phone to his ear.
“Caspar,” Linhardt said through the line, his tone almost… desperate? “Just… come back and see me.”
“Wait, Lin—'' the call ended before he could get another word in.
“Augh!” Caspar buried his face into his hands. “He hung up.”
“What did he say?” Ashe asked, a curious glint in his eyes.
“He just told me to come back and see him. Didn’t give me any details.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” asked Hilda. “Go to him, now!”
~~~
When Caspar finally burst through the door, Linhardt ran across the room to greet him. All the pent-up anxiety he had felt for the past 24 hours seemed to release as he nearly launched himself onto him with such unusual force that they both tumbled onto the carpet.
“Woah, Lin!” Caspar smiled. “I wasn’t expecting that kind of greeting!”
“I know it’s only been a day, but…” tears gathered in Linhardt’s eyes, threatening to spill onto Caspar’s shirt. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. I would’ve called you earlier if I wasn’t so nervous.” Caspar said, admiring the way Linhardts evergreen hair fell around his face as he looked up at him.
“You didn’t mean it, right?”
“Mean what?”
“When you said you were leaving forever?”
“Oh, Linny…” Caspar pulled him in closer so that their faces were just inches apart. “I didn’t mean it. I overreacted that whole time, remember? I was being dramatic.”
“And I was being rude,” Linhardt said, cupping his hand around Caspar’s jaw.
“Well, I was being stupid. I mean, you know a lot more about science stuff than I do—”
“Will you just… stop talking and kiss me?”
He did, and Linhardt hummed in contentment while their lips were pressed together, just happy to be back in Caspar’s arms.
“Well, Caspar,” Linhardt started when they finally pulled away with heavy breaths. “Do you want to learn some interesting facts about planets?”
Caspar’s brows knit together, his expression perplexed. “Are you really— I mean, sure. Fire away.” he said these last words sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
Linhardt grinned. “According to the IAU, there are three criteria a celestial object must meet in order to be considered a planet. They don’t have as much to do with size as one might think.”
“Oh, you’re bringing this up again. Are you sure this is the best time?” Caspar started to sit up, but Linhardt placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
“Just listen to me.”
“Ok, fine. What are they?”
“First, a planet must orbit a star. Like the sun, for instance.” he began, stroking his fingers through Caspar’s fluffy blue hair. “Second, it must assume hydrostatic equilibrium— that is to say that it must have enough mass to form roughly into a sphere shape.”
“Well, Pluto’s a sphere that orbits the sun. Why isn’t it a planet?” Caspar asked.
“I haven’t gotten to the third criteria,” Linhardt smiled as his hands continued to work their way through Caspar’s scalp.
“What is it?”
“A planet must ‘clear the neighborhood’ of objects within its orbit. This requires it to have a sufficient force of gravity, and it’s where Pluto misses the mark. It’s path around the sun is obstructed.”
“Okay… so you want me to admit that Pluto isn’t a planet because it doesn’t have enough gravity and that you were right?”
“Oh, love, you have to let me finish.” Linhardt leaned in even closer over Caspar. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s not the size of a planet that allows it to qualify. It’s the strength. And, well…” Linhardt ran his hand over Caspar’s well-toned chest. “You’re not lacking in that department.”
Caspar’s cheeks went crimson. “Lin, I know that I’m not a planet. My thoughts were all jumbled when I said—”
“You’re my planet, Caspar. My whole world. I’d trade the entire solar system for you.” Linhardt kissed Caspar on the mouth again, and then showered kisses around his face.
“Linny, I… I don’t know what to say.” Caspar laughed.
Linhardt paused to look down at his boyfriend’s beaming face, and in that moment, he thought that his eyes looked like little planets of their own; bright and dynamic, unexplored and wonderful. “You don’t have to,” he purred as he started trailing kisses down his neck. “You’re here, and I love you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
~One Week Later~
It was dark in the cozy little bedroom where Caspar and Linhardt slept, save for the moonlight spilling softly through the window. Despite the quiet and the calm, Caspar couldn’t sleep. There was a thought that had been bothering him all week that came to the forefront of his mind, but he didn’t know how to bring it up.
“Hey Lin, are you awake?” Caspar asked, shaking his boyfriend gently.
Linhardt flipped over to face him. “Yes, my love. Do you need something?”
“I’ve just been thinking…” Caspar paused as he tried to find a way to fit his words together. “I never apologized for what happened last week. How I got all emotional and stormed outta the house. It was dumb of me, especially because you were right about Pluto anyway.”
“I never apologized either,” said Linhardt, taking his hand. “I was insensitive during the conversation. And I had been ignoring you for the past week in favor of my classwork. It’s no wonder you got so worked up.”
Caspar squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“Let’s agree that we’re both to blame, Cas, and then forget about it. It was a silly argument. And besides, the IAU has changed up the planet criteria so much that it could be considered arbitrary. For all we know, you could be right about Pluto.”
“I don’t care if I’m right anymore. But thanks.” Caspar gave him a soft smile. “Let’s put this behind us.”
As Caspar nestled in closer to Linhardt, he couldn’t help but think that he had it all. When they were together, the entire universe was theirs. And even if Linhardt’s science books were right and they were so indescribably tiny in the grand scheme of things, Caspar wouldn’t have it any other way.