Chapter Text
“This was a bad idea.”
It’s the eighth time in the past thirty minutes that she’s voiced her opinion and just like the last seven, this one is met with an eye roll and biting reply.
“Stop it, you’re being dramatic and that’s supposed to be my role.” Lizzie flicks at Josie’s arm and proceeds to drag her luggage toward the curbside pick up.
Josie rubs her arm with a scowl and starts her list over again.
Dad…
Hope…
Mom…
Penelope…
The last one always makes her want to puke. All of the people she’s been avoiding, the people she’s absolutely dreading seeing this weekend. Josie takes a final deep breath of the stale airport air before following her twin out into the Virginia sunshine.
Before she has time to even slide her sunglasses down to cover her eyes she hears it.
“GIRLS! OH MY GOD!”
And Caroline Forbes, ageless wonder, rushes into her personal space.
And maybe it’s because she’s exhausted and nervous or maybe it’s because despite everything Caroline is still her mother but Josie lets herself get a little lost in the embrace.
“Mom,” Josie wiggles out of her mother’s grasp, “we told you that you didn’t have to come pick us up.”
Caroline wipes away a tear and Josie crumbles a little because she knows her mother hates to show any sign of distress, of anything less than perfection.
“Of course I was going to pick you up,” she herds them to her SUV as she launches into gossip, “Lizzie, darling did you-”
And Josie checks out as she slides into the back seat. Her mother and sister pick up an easy conversation about Chicago and Mystic Falls and boys and fashion and who even cares?
Dad…
Hope…
Mom…
Penelope…
Familiar waves of guilt slam into her as the car passes landmarks from her past. Ten years...ten years since her high school graduation. She had almost escaped high school unscathed and without incident. But Penelope didn’t let that happen.
“So Josie,” Caroline’s attention is now on her, “whatever happened to that boy Danny? I thought maybe he’d be joining you this weekend.”
Her mother means well enough and Lizzie is there to shoot her a sympathetic wince.
“Oh, uh Mom we broke up.” And Josie hates having to do this, pretending she cares about some idiot she went on six dates with, “It was for the best, we really didn’t click.”
If she’s honest with herself, which she rarely is, she hasn’t clicked with anyone in years...in almost ten years. She takes a deep breath, no she won’t think like that. She won’t let Penelope fucking Park have that hold on her, or at least Josie lets herself believe that lie.
“Home sweet home!” Caroline delivers the cliche with the utmost sincerity and Josie can’t help but smile at her mother.
Josie watches as her step dad appears out in front of the house and she has the fleeting desire to just bolt. She wonders if she could run fast enough to disappear.
“C’mon,” Lizzie’s voice breaks her musings, “If I have to do this, so do you.”
Lizzie grabs her wrist and pulls Josie out of the car.
“That’s the thing,” Josie wrestles her bag onto the pavement as she watches her mother practically jump into her step dad’s arms, “I don’t know if I can do this. I should’ve stayed in the city.”
“Again with the dramatics,” Lizzie grabs her by the shoulders and Josie is met with an almost terrifying gaze, “you are here because I need you and we are here to show everyone how amazing we’ve done since high school.”
Josie scoffs, “No,” she shakes loose from her twin’s grasp, “I’m here because you have an inability to do anything alone and you’re here to see if everyone still adores you.”
An easy chuckle escapes Lizzie, “Of course everyone still adores me.” Lizzie shoots her a wink and waltzes into their childhood home with an abundance of confidence.
Josie lets out a shaky breath, here we go.
---
So maybe it hasn’t been as bad as she thought it would be. Caroline has been somewhat reserved, her sister hasn’t started a fight, and Stefan, sweet and quiet Stefan has not tried to have a “father, daughter moment” with her yet.
Josie flops back on her familiar mattress and stares around the time capsule that is her childhood bedroom. Her mom has left it in pristine condition and Josie feels a pang of guilt. She ran away from Mystic Falls so fast she can’t believe there isn’t a Jose shaped hole in the wall of their house.
Waves of nostalgia wash over her as she peers at the old pictures tacked to the walls. Lanky and gorgeous Lizzie grins back at her from every angle, usually with her arms draped over Hope Mikaelson. Pictures full of smiles and duck faces and middle fingers and friends and drunk nights bombard Josie.
She groans and rummages under the bed blindly. The box is under there somewhere and she almost yells when her hand finds what she’s looking for.
“You can do this,” she mutters to herself because she is a grown ass woman and some old pictures stuffed into a box will not break her. She’s sure of it.
The contents of the box hurt more than Josie would ever admit. She dumps it out onto the bed. Old pictures, dried flowers, movie stubs, bracelets, and various receipts surround her.
God, all of it even smells like her.
Josie glances at her door, making sure she locked it because the last thing she needs is Lizzie catching her drowning in all her memories.
At the ripe old age of 14 Josette Saltzman had her first real kiss. The spin the bottle gods had either blessed or cursed her, depending on who you asked, and she was unceremoniously shoved into a closet with Penelope Antoinette Park for Seven Minutes in Heaven. It had been a nervous, awkward kiss but the two of them seemed to just fit together, even back then.
She runs the now dulled red silk through her fingers. On that fateful night, almost fourteen years ago, the red silk had kept Josie’s hair tied back. It then spent the rest of that night around Penelope’s wrist, how Josie ended up with it in the end she can’t remember.
Penelope’s green eyes seem to shine even in the crinkled, worn photos. She wears a devilish smirk in most pictures and Josie remembers when she found that smirk irresistible but the images that hurt the most are the ones where Penelope is full on grinning or laughing, usually at Josie.
“Oh boy,” she swallows down the hurt, “this was a mistake.”
Because she isn’t crazy, what they had back then did matter and the old pictures only confirm that. She’s spent ten years trying to just pretend it didn’t happen but it did. The love was there, the love and the trust and the secrets of two teenagers who fell head first into each other.
Josie carefully packs up the nostalgia scattered all over and slides the box back under her bed. Just to throw it away later, she lies to herself. She even lets herself halfway believe it.
---
She grimaces again, “Do we really think all of this is necessary?” Josie tugs at the bottom of her faded Mystic Falls High sweatshirt. Honestly where did Lizzie even find these old clothes?
Lizzie finishes the last touch of her make-up before turning to face her sister, “Of course it is. It’s our 10 year reunion and everyone will be at the game in their old gear.”
“Ah god,” Josie huffs, “I hope not everyone .”
Lizzie softens and plops down on the bed next to her, “I really just think if you would internet stalk her just a little maybe it would help. It’d be like preparing for a test or something.”
“No,” Josie says, “I don’t want to know anything.”
After high school Josie has remained dedicated in avoiding all things Penelope Park. She has enforced a strict no mention, no searching, and no speaking of Penelope Park. It’s worked really, for almost ten whole years she has lived her life without devoting any space to her ex. But ever since Lizzie has signed them up for this ridiculous ten year reunion her mind has been flooded with thoughts and memories and worries about Penelope. So for six months she’s been frantic and almost sick with dread about this weekend.
“Yeah I get it Jo,” Lizzie says, “but I know stuff that I could tell you just so you aren’t like blindsided or anything. Aren’t you even morbidly curious?”
Of course her sister has stalked Penelope, does anyone ever really let go of high school grudges? Lizzie certainly never will.
“No, I’m fine,” Josie manages a small smile for Lizzie, “promise. Let’s just get to the game. We’re drinking beforehand right?”
She gets a full blown grin from Lizzie, “Oh always.”
They say goodbye to Caroline, who practically runs away from them crying, grab whiskey and brown paper bags from the liquor store, and walk to their old high school. As they make their way towards their past they sip whiskey slowly and only exchange a few words. Josie realizes for the first time that maybe Lizzie isn’t as confident about this weekend as she has been claiming.
They’re standing in the parking lot as high schoolers and alumni and parents flood the school campus. The sun is fading over the woods behind the football field, painting the sky in vibrant shades of orange and red. Josie shivers against the slight chill in the air or maybe it’s the nerves, she can’t tell which one.
Josie grabs her sister’s hand, “You ready?”
Lizzie finishes off the booze and Josie notices the slight flush to Lizzie’s face, “What if it’s awful? What if it’s too different and everyone hates me?”
“Lizzie,” Josie says, her heart aching with love for her sister, “I’m right here and no one is going to hate you, c’mon you’re amazing.”
It gets Lizzie to chuckle but she still hasn’t taken any steps toward the growing crowd.
“High school was so easy for me, ya know?” Lizzie sighs, “This whole being a grown up thing hasn’t been and I just feel like everyone is…” she pauses and Josie wishes she could do more to comfort her twin, “better than me.”
“Hey,” she grabs Lizzie by the shoulders and forces her to meet her eyes, “ we are all struggling and fuck whoever judges you here. You matter to me, you are amazing to me. Got it?”
Lizzie grins, “Yeah fuck ‘em, let’s do this.”
They walk arm in arm down to the football stands and Josie lets herself get swept up in all the excitement. The band is playing and it’s a sea of faces old and new and she can hear cheering and clapping and it all feels so familiar.
It all comes back easy, being around her old classmates. She listens as Landon talks about graphic design and Rafael shows pictures of his kids and Kaleb beatboxes with MG. It’s amazing to Josie how everyone is so grown up and yet all of the jokes and stories and teasing is as easy as when they were teens.
“No way,” MG’s shocked face makes Josie giggle, “an ER nurse? Jo, that’s incredible!” He’s got a relaxed arm around her shoulders and she leans into him, enjoying the security that has always come with being around MG.
“For real, MG” she says, “it’s so difficult and crazy but I am helping people when they are at their worst. I’ve just learned so much.”
And now she can’t remember why none of them have stayed in touch.
“That’s wild,” he lowers his voice slightly, “you uh, ever talk to Peez?”
Oh, right, that’s why she lost touch with him. MG has always been incredibly close to Penelope.
She gives him a tight smile, “C’mon, I have to believe you know the answer to that.”
MG gives her shoulders a squeeze and a sad smile. Josie hates the pity shining in his eyes.
“Thought maybe she was holding out on me,” he says. And all of a sudden Josie wants to be anywhere other than right here.
And then as if the gods themselves heard her thoughts, she feels a hand close around her wrist and drag her about ten feet away.
“What the actual fu-” she wrenches her wrist free and collects herself as she turns to face her attacker.
Oh no no no. This is worse.
“Josie Saltzman.”
Hope Mikaelson glowers at Josie with her hands on her hips and a crease in her brow.
“Hey, Hope.” She mumbles and can’t help but notice that even scowling, Hope looks amazing.
“Uh no,” Hope shakes her head, “don’t ‘Hey, Hope’ me. You’ve been dodging me for two months.”
Lie, lie your ass off. “No, no not avoiding,” she wrings her hands together and can’t bring herself to meet Hope’s stare, “work has been insane,” good, good no one questions her crazy schedule, “I have been super busy.” She might pull this off.
“Bullshit Jos,” Hope scoffs, “you forget Lizzie and I talk daily?”
She fights back an eye roll, how could she ever forget that?
“Hope I really don’t think now is the time to do this.”
“We absolutely need to do this now,” Hope steps closer and Josie wants to bolt, “we have to talk about what happened.”
Josie lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, no we do not need to talk about-” and the world suddenly stands completely still and her stomach clinches, “Penelope.” The name is a whisper.
“No,” Hope says, “why the hell would I want to talk about Penelope?”
“She’s here.”
Penelope Park moves through the crowd with the confidence of someone who knows exactly who they are and the effect they have on others. She had been an attractive teenager, there was no doubt of that, but as an adult? It’s almost unfair how incredible she looks. Somehow she’s gotten her hands on an old Timberwolves jersey that she’s tied back to cling to her tighter and her shredded jeans allow for glimpses of tan skin.
Josie can’t look away as Penelope greets everyone with an easy smile. She wonders if Penelope’s hair, longer than it ever was in high school, is as soft as it looks.
Green eyes set behind black rimmed glasses find her stare and still Josie doesn’t avert her gaze. After ten years of pretending Penelope Park no longer exists, only fifteen feet of grass separates them.
The air is thick and Josie’s heart is pounding in her ears.
“Excuse me,” Josie pushes past Hope without even looking at her.
Her eyes still trained on Penelope and her brain absolutely screaming at her not to, Josie moves intently toward Penelope.
She’s in front of her before she can change her mind and Penelope gives her a nose crinkling grin.
“Fucking Josette Saltzman,” Penelope drawls and Josie hates that she’s missed how her name sounds coming out of that mouth, “wow, I can’t believe you’re here.”
Every inch of Josie is buzzing and she’s so caught up in the sight of Penelope that she doesn’t even notice everyone is staring at them.
“Well you know Lizzie,” she hopes she sounds normal or confident because her brain is having trouble doing it’s job, “she dragged me here.”
Something dark that Josie can’t quite place skirts across Penelope’s pretty face before she responds with a dry chuckle.
“Yeah your sister has always been a pain in the ass like that.”
And before either can say anything else, they are surrounded by friends. Josie uses the intrusion as an opportunity to sneak away; sneak away from Hope and Penelope and give herself a chance to recover from being bombarded.
She wanders to the edge of the parking lot and runs her hands down her face. Holy shit. Her hands are still shaking as she takes a deep breath.
“Hey,” Lizzie jogs up to her and the temperature has dropped enough that Josie can see her breath, “you ok?”
And much to her surprise, Josie starts laughing. Lizzie’s eyes go wide as big, belly, tearful laughs burst out of Josie and she can’t stop. She holds up her hands and just lets the emotions that feel too big to describe, pour out of her in laughter. Lizzie must find it addicting because soon the twins are hunched over, leaning into each other with tear streaked cheeks and bellies that hurt from laughing.
“Damn,” Josie wipes at her eyes and works to catch her breath, “she’s super hot Liz.”
LIzzie nods, “Ok the worst is over right? The rest of the weekend should be a breeze and then it’ll be over.”
Josie looks past her twin to where Penelope is standing with Hope and MG, her green eyes lighting up at whatever conversation is happening. She can even hear Penelope’s laughter over all the other noises. Josie’s chest tightens and she feels something in her reach out for Penelope.
No, Josie thinks that everything might actually just be beginning.