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namjoon remembers it vividly. several months later, almost a year, he thinks. he very vividly remembers the first time he'd seen taehyung. he was working his shift at the bookstore (because he's a nerd who loves books) and he was adding a few new books to the fantasy shelf when the bell at the entrance rang. he set aside the book he was holding and made his way around the bookshelf back to the front of the store to greet the customer. he was all prepared, words on the tip of his tongue, same as he always used. but he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the customer, who appeared to be peering curiously up at the light fixture strung across the ceiling. namjoon briefly wondered how his eyes weren't burning, because his eyes were so wide.
the second thing he noticed was that this customer was oddly dressed. he wasn't wearing shoes, and his clothes were all a bright, stainless white. namjoon's brows furrowed at that, before his eyes darted to the strange customer's hair and his eyes widened at the color of it. a bright, electric blue. it looked natural. oddly natural.
"um," namjoon spoke awkwardly, "can i... help you?"
the customer startled, and looked back down at namjoon with his wide - silver! - eyes. namjoon was speechless.
"who are you?" the customer asked, looking every bit like he hadn't been expecting to see an employee in a store.
"i work here...?" namjoon was confused now too. he shook his head. "sir, you have to be wearing shoes to be in the shop." namjoon glanced down at the man's feet at the same time he did.
"...shoes?" he looked back up at namjoon, brows furrowed. "what is 'shoes'?"
namjoon probably would have had to hold back the urge to correct his grammar, but the absurdity of the question grabbed more of his attention. "what?"
the man cocked his head to the side. "i asked what is shoes," he repeated curiously.
"yes, i-i know what you asked." namjoon suppressed a sigh. "is this, like, some dumb prank or something? because if it is, you can leave now."
"a prank?" he echoed in a question.
namjoon probably would have thrown a chair across the room in frustration if it weren't for the fact that he'd be fired if he did. he also didn't have a chair to throw. which was good.
"yes, a prank." he was just exasperated, at this point, and made this much clear as he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly.
"i just want to know where i am," the other said quietly.
namjoon spluttered. "what?"
"where am i?" he clarified, and namjoon knew what he meant. "my location."
"your location?"
the man paused. "this is earth, right?"
namjoon could feel the way his eyebrows lifted dramatically. practically touching his hairline. "what the fuck!"
the rest is more of a blur, and namjoon remembers vaguely that taehyung had used his big puppy dog eyes and adorable pout to find him a place to stay, even if temporarily. namjoon also remembers freaking out because he isn't social enough to have found a place for him to stay and, in his panic, offered his own home. which he regretted then, but not now. he thinks, belatedly, it was probably the best decision he'd ever made. for both taehyung and himself. he can't (or, more, doesn't want to) imagine what would have happened if he had just kicked taehyung out of the shop that day. the thought sends a very unpleasant shiver down his spine.
namjoon glances over to the younger boy; curled up ridiculously cute in the corner of the couch under a soft blue blanket with his fist squished against his cheek. he looks like the picture of innocence. pure and soft. namjoon wants to coo.
he's reminded of the first time he saw taehyung blush.
taehyung had only been living with him for a few months. he was relatively quiet most of the time. like he didn't want to bother namjoon (who felt bad, admittedly, for somehow making taehyung feel like he was something of a bother to him).
he'd marched into the living room with intent. head held high, hands on his hips, hair still a ridiculous bright blue. all of his confidence had seemed to fizz to nothing as he turned to namjoon, who peeked over the top of his book to offer his attention.
taehyung was all timid and playing with his fingers, could barely look namjoon in the eye.
"...can we get a puppy?"
he was looking up through his lashes, in that puppy dog way that always got him what he wanted. looking up through his long lashes, but down at namjoon because he was sprawled across the couch. namjoon was more and more often having thoughts of the boy being cute. he didn't mind it anymore, like he had the first time.
namjoon had taken a moment to think, though he was oddly willing to just give taehyung anything he wanted. it was a yes before he'd been asked, really.
he shrugged. "i don't see why not..."
taehyung had grinned excitedly, exclaimed, "really?" like he'd been promised the world.
endearing.
namjoon nodded. he closed his book to sit up, only after folding down the top corner of his page. he set it against the coffee table. "why not go right now?"
and taehyung's face had lit up so wonderfully and he'd smiled so brightly, namjoon wondered how anybody could hesitate to give him anything his heart desired.
taehyung could hardly contain himself just on the way to the pet store. he was blurting name suggestions at namjoon, who thought each one was cute, which ultimately did not help taehyung at all in his name hunt, and had the boy whining that doesn't help, hyung! or you can't say they're all great! you have to choose only one!
namjoon hadn't been thinking when he'd said, "you're so cute," the smallest smile on his face.
taehyung had immediately shut up, which confused namjoon. a quick glance over had his eyes widening comically, and almost causing a crash. he pulled over as quickly as he could, but not without a whine of protest from taehyung.
"y-your..." he was tempted to reach a hand up and trace it over his cheek. "are you blushing?"
taehyung looked over and made confused eye contact. "what? why?" he cupped his cheeks with his hands. "is this what that feels like?"
namjoon was at a loss for words. little blue stars, different sizes, scattered across taehyung's cheeks in such a beautifully unorthodox way. he'd absentmindedly given into the desire, and found his finger running along taehyung's cheek with wonder. he even watched as the stars got brighter and taehyung seemed to sink into his seat just that little bit more with embarrassment.
"wow..." namjoon whispered.
taehyung whined. "hyung, stop it!" he slapped namjoon's hand away.
namjoon retracted his hands, as asked. but his eyes stayed lingering on taehyung's glowing cheeks.
"what are you staring at?" taehyung pouted.
"...is this normal?"
"is what normal?"
namjoon pointed (he was still breath taken). taehyung pulled down the visor from the ceiling to open the mirror. his eyes went wide at seeing his reflection. he poked his cheek, glanced back over at namjoon. "this... this isn't what you look like when you blush," he murmured. "...why's it so different?"
namjoon looks at him now. still curled up into the armrest of the couch. his eyes have fallen shut now and he's snoring quietly. his blue hair is lying very unceremoniously around his face and against the couch. namjoon smiles.
he stands to pick taehyung up from the couch. he knows taehyung won't be comfortable sleeping there because he's done it before and wouldn't stop whining the next day.
namjoon hasn't ever acted on his feelings before. there's multiple things that keep him from doing it - that general fear of rejection, most prominent. but there's also the fact that taehyung is - extraordinary. namjoon could never compare to him. taehyung was born from a star! namjoon is... human. a very underwhelming thought. taehyung has stars in his cheeks and an obnoxiously endearing smile and the cheeriest most optimistic spirit namjoon had ever seen and namjoon is just - boring. he's normal. why would such a free person like taehyung want namjoon?
he's rounding the corner into taehyung's bedroom. he doesn't bother to turn the light on, or the lamp on his nightstand. he just gently lays taehyung down into his bed, pulls the covers over him after evening out the soft blue blanket he already has. he turns back around to leave -
"hyungie," taehyung whines in a sleepy, pouty murmur. namjoon's heart squeezes. "lay with me. please?"
namjoon internally curses taehyung for his adorable puppy dog eyes. and curses himself for caving so easily.
"um." he shifts stiffly. "okay."
he rounds the other side of the bed, takes off his socks before laying down beside the younger. he's beyond startled when taehyung turns and snuggles into him. namjoon is very well aware that taehyung has trouble sleeping if he's not hugging something but namjoon isn't - he isn't a pillow. why can't he just hug a pillow?
"hyung," taehyung whispers, eyes closed, "you're very tense."
namjoon wants to tell him it's his fault, say, maybe if you weren't making my heart race beyond belief, or maybe you shouldn't make me feel this way, maybe then i could relax. but he doesn't say anything. he tries to relax, because it's not taehyung's fault, nor his own, and he just has to live with that fact.
namjoon carefully brings his right arm (the one that isn't being crushed by taehyung's head) around his torso. he figures - well. taehyung likes to cuddle. he can accommodate for that just this once, he supposes. and it's not all that bad, either. it's warm. taehyung is warm, namjoon thinks, pulls him in a little closer. taehyung sighs contentedly as he tucks his head further into namjoon's neck. namjoon tries to keep his heart from beating out of his chest because taehyung can probably feel it and that's just embarrassing, but - oh.
he can feel taehyung's soft breathing against his neck. he feels the goosebumps next, raising on his arms and on his legs under his jeans.
namjoon starts thinking. taehyung is asleep, he knows, if his quiet snoring is anything to go by. and namjoon is just left to think.
it's - it's intimidating. his thoughts are intimidating because he knows they won't go away. it's dark and the only light in the room is coming from taehyung's bedroom window, where the curtains don't meet completely in the middle. that bothers namjoon.
his eyes dart around the room, not stopping very long in each spot - is that a shadow in the corner?
namjoon shakes his head. he won't let these stupid thoughts get to him. think of something that will help you fall asleep, idiot. ghosts aren't real. he's not convincing himself, he knows. but he's tired, wants to sleep, and his mind is too busy to let him do that.
think.
namjoon's eyes travel down.
taehyung.
taehyung helps him fall asleep.