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( “Jyn. You know where to go, don’t you? Trust the Force.”
“An Imperial pilot, one of the cargo drivers. He defected yesterday. He’s telling people they’re making a weapon. The kyber crystals, that’s what they’re for.”
“Rebellions are built on hope.”
“Rebellions are built on hope.”
“Save the Rebellion! Save the dream!”
The Force, screaming in agony.
Dead-so much death-a weapon-millions crying out at once-twice-thrice-silence )
( “A planet killer.” )
( “We will deal with your Rebel friends soon enough.”
“No!” Leia -a peaceful planet-nonono-
“Destroyed… by the Empire!” )
( “She is here…” Mechanical breathing )
( She hides in the shadows, figures in white rushing past her, she moves to leave. Darkness lays in wait, standing in front of her is a man in black. She stares into the mask, it watches her blankly.
The red of the lightsaber burns.
Blue.
“The circle is now complete.” )
( “NO!” )
Obi-Wan collapses forwards, hand moving to clutch at the fabric over her chest, feeling the phantom pain of a lightsaber passing through her body, the screaming of her students, her daughter, ringing in her ears. The visions had been disconnected and fast, mere flashes of a possible future, foggy and making very little sense in Obi-Wan’s mind; the clearest thing had been her daughter’s furious shriek of horror and pain, a heart broken thing filled with anger and terror. She had felt the deaths of millions in a mere instant, worse even than the feeling of her fellow Jedi dying in the thousands, all the bonds she had made with her fellows snapping violently in their last moments of confusion and betrayal.
Gasping, Obi-Wan tries to center herself, the Force swirling around her like a maelstrom, whispering in her mind, calling to her in the voices of her dead friends, screaming in the voices of those who would die. The kyber crystals around her pulse, blue to green to yellow to red, swirling through all possible colours as the Force howls around her.
Change it, it begs, stop it.
Change what? Obi-Wan wants to scream, Nothing you showed me makes sense!
“Obi-Wan.”
The exiled Jedi freezes, going stiff, before slowly lifting her gaze.
Before her, bathed in white light and shimmering like a projection, stands Qui-Gon Jinn. Much like he had on Mortis, the ghost watches her with cool detachment, a frown on his face as he watches her.
“Master Qui-Gon.” Obi-Wan mumbles through numb lips, feeling like a padawan once again as her master’s disapproval is aimed towards her once again. It makes her remember being the unwanted padawan, the constant nervousness that she had felt around him, afraid to make one wrong step to prove him right that she wasn’t cut out for the Jedi. Too angry, too uncontrollable, too rebellious. She had loved him, once - loved what he represented, but now? After raising Mara? She can see that, despite their powerful Force Bond, they had not been right for each other, not as they were.
“He was the Chosen One.” Qui-Gon’s voice is dripping in disappointment, but Obi-Wan knows that it’s not aimed towards Anakin. “The Jedi are gone, Obi-Wan, the Dark has thrown the Force out of balance. I begged you to train him, and you failed us both.”
“I tried- ”
“You failed.” Qui-Gon speaks over her, like she was an unruly apprentice once again, like she was still the scared Initiate she had been at twelve, the desperate Padawan surrounded by dying children at fourteen - the young woman at twenty-five who had followed him to hell and back who was just adequate when compared to the Chosen One.
A failure.
It rings in her ears like the screams of her grieving daughter. She would always be the unwanted padawan, taken on against his will, let down and set aside again and again and again. Always second best to someone else - Xanatos, Master Tahl, Anakin. She had stood by him for twelve years , followed him, loved him and held him as he died, begging him to let her help him - and yet his last words had been to train the boy.
Obi-Wan had failed Anakin - she had been too young, too ill-prepared to suddenly be a master - and the galaxy had paid for it.
“I don’t need you to tell me that I failed, Master.” Obi-Wan tells him coolly, straightening her shoulders and staring the ghost down like she would a particularly annoying politician. “But the blame doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders.” He opens his mouth to reply, but she cuts him off. “No, you will listen to me, Qui-Gon Jinn. I never should have been his master, I wasn’t ready for it - I wasn’t even ready to be Knighted, but I did it. I took him on because no one else would, and I trained him. He became a Jedi, just like you wanted, he even took on his own padawan. I loved him, but I could have done more.” A sharp glare cows the man into silence again, “I failed him, yes, but he failed me, too.”
“He Fell -”
“And that isn’t my fault.” She cuts him off, “It wasn’t the Jedi’s fault. We took him in, we trained him, we welcomed him. I loved him like a brother.”
“The Jedi Code -”
Obi-Wan speaks over him, “Was not perfect.”
“The Council -”
“Should not have needed to treat him any differently than we did any other Knight.” Obi-Wan states, “We weren’t perfect, but we didn’t deserve to die for it.”
“You were his Master!” Qui-Gon snaps, “He Fell because of you!”
Obi-Wan blinks slowly, studying her former master, “No.” The word draws him up short, leaving the ghost stunned into silence, and Stars does it feel good to finally tell both him and the memories haunting her the truth. The words that she had been told, but couldn’t bring herself to believe. “Anakin Skywalker Fell because a Sith Lord twisted his thoughts and made him see enemies where there were only people trying to do their best to help. Anakin was an adult . He made those choices . He chose to kneel to the Sith. He chose to steal away the freedom of millions. He chose to murder children and babies in the place where they should have been safe .” As she says it, she can feel the words bolstering her confidence, “So don’t you dare lay the blame at my feet.”
Obi-Wan Kenobi was a Jedi Master, a member of the Council, a High General of the Grand Army of the Republic - she had done it all without her master to guide her. She had done it despite him. And she wouldn’t let him break her down again.
“Anakin’s Fall is no more my fault than Xanatos’ was yours .” She states, “We are not to blame for their choices.” Silence follows her declaration, leaving both masters staring at each other, and Obi-Wan refuses to look away.
Suddenly, Qui-Gon flickers, the light around him going from white to a soft blue, and the man chuckles. “You’ve grown, Padawan-mine.” The man says fondly, and Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrow at the warmth in his eyes. Then she remembers the words she had spoken to the children, that the caves would test them. “I’m sorry that I never told you how proud I was.” Obi-Wan is drawn up short, blinking at the Force ghost in stunned shock. “I’ve been watching over you all these years, watching as you became every inch the Jedi I never could be. I am, however, a little disappointed that I never got the chance to meet your Cody.”
“He’s a good man.” She says on instinct, and Qui-Gon nods.
“You love each other.” He says nostalgically, studying her softly, and the look in his eye tells Obi-Wan that he’s thinking of his own love. “You remind me of her - I should have told you - you remind me of Tahl. You have her fire.” He chuckles sadly, “I’m sorry, Obi-Wan, that I never told you how proud of you I was, how wrong I was in treating you like I did.”
“You were a great man.” Obi-Wan defends, and Qui-Gon laughs.
“Perhaps.” He says easily, “But I was a terrible master to you.”
“I wasn’t the easiest padawan.”
“Everyone could see how amazing you are. How amazing you would be.” Qui-Gon chuckles again, “Yoda was determined that the two of us would be partners, he chased off all the other masters sniffing around you.”
“What?” This was the first Obi-Wan was hearing of this, and Qui-Gon nods, running a hand over his beard.
“Plo and Mace both requested taking you on as an apprentice quite a few times, since I wasn’t getting my ass in gear.” He reminisces, “But our lineage is stubborn. Yoda had had his visions, and stuck his ugly nose in, the old troll.” Obi-Wan coughs on a shocked laugh, “You were better than I deserved, and I’m sorry it took my death for me to see it.” The Force sings with the truth behind that statement, dancing around them, and Obi-Wan gapes, completely thrown off balance by her master’s words. Qui-Gon stares at her sadly, eyes distant head tilted as he listens to something she can’t hear. “What the temple has shown you - your actions can change them. The Sith Lord has been building a weapon, a planet killer. He corrupts kyber crystals to do so, and the Force mourns what will happen to its children. Through you, it sees hope - hope for a chance to save those lives.”
“I don’t understand.”
“No one ever does.” Qui-Gon says, form growing fainter with every moment. “The Force isn’t known for its clarity, little one. But what is clear, is that you’ve already changed things. You inspire hope, Obi-Wan.”
“Wait!” Obi-Wan cries desperately and her master vanishes from view, “What can I do? How do I change it?!”
“Follow your heart.” His voice echoes around her, the crystals pulsing in rhythm of the words, pulsing like the heartbeat that pounds in Obi-Wan’s ears. “Rebellions are built on hope.” And Obi-Wan is alone, surrounded by the glow of kyber crystals and more troubled than she’s been in almost fifteen years.
Somehow, the fate of the entire galaxy rests on Obi-Wan’s shoulders.
She does not appreciate that.
“Could it not?” She grumbles, softly but with a lot of feeling. “Kriffing hells.”
“Master!” Ahsoka’s voice is almost drowned out by the grinding of the doors opening once more, and Obi-Wan looks up as the Togruta bursts into the temple, eyes wide and lekku swinging, and a white, gold, and green bird swooping in her wake, trilling as the crystals shift to pure white. “Master are you alright?”
“Ah, Ahsoka.” Obi-Wan greets, trying for nonchalant, but from the way that the other woman drops to her knees in front of her, she’s not as successful as she hoped. “I’m perfectly fine.”
The bird, flowing with Light, trills again, wings flapping as it lands on Ahsoka’s shoulder, leaving both Togruta and bird to stare at her. “You’re not fine.” Ahsoka says slowly, “Something happened, I could feel it.”
“It’s fine-”
“It’s not!” Her hands clamp around Obi-Wan’s elbows, teal eyes sharp and pleading. “Please Master, trust me. Tell me what happened. Please.” Ahsoka’s voice grows soft, “I’m not a little girl anymore, Master.”
“I-” Obi-Wan closes her mouth, staring back into Ahsoka’s eyes, and lets out a gust of air. “You were right, the veil is thin here.” Follow your heart . “I had a vision, something terrible. But I don’t understand what it was, not yet, I need time to meditate on it.” She offers her grandpadawan a small smile. “I do trust you, Ahsoka.”
Rebellions are built on hope.