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Sleep is a concept he never knew could feel so good, a nights full rest has been void in his life for longer than he can remember. When Jake brought him up to their room, laid him down on their bed, and made passionate love to him, he thought that was the best thing in the world; but sleep might bust that down to second place.
Weird alternate future dreams were somewhat fun to have on the rare occurrence he did dream, this one seemed different though. This one was happening alongside the actual timeline, so close that they clashed a bit very occasionally. Rose died, John left and died, Jane won the election, Karkat and Dave still hadn’t worked out their feelings; Dirk became an antagonist and went ultimate, he walked into Jakes home, demanded a ship from him and left with a kiss, leaving Jake in tears while begging for him to take him with.
“I’m sorry, Jake. But I’ll never let you break my heart again.”He turns arubtly, and walks over to the couch. He picks up Rose, nods at Squarewave. He springs into action, pushing the hand truck out the door. Without looking back, Dirk follows, slamming the door behind him.
>Wake up.
His eyes shoot open, he sees Jake. His hairs a mess, his shoulders are all marked up, every scrape and scar looks beautiful to Dirk in the pale moonlight coming from their window. He finds his hand on Jake's face, tracing down one of the indents from some fight years ago. He smiles, remembering how he got it. Jakes hand reaches up, bringing Dirks to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to it as his brilliant green eyes half open to look at the other..
“Nightmare?” He asks softly as he can this early in the morning, his accent making Dirk smile lightly and nod. “Me too…”
“What was it about?” Dirk takes Jakes hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.
“I was underwater, I couldn’t breathe, I tried to scream but no one could hear.” Jake smiles back sleepily, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Everyone was there, I was called weak. They said all I’d ever be was Janes trophy. It felt so real.”
“As long as I’m here, you’ll never be that again.” Dirk leans forwards, pressing a kiss to Jakes nose. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Jake.”
Jake scrunches his nose up. “Want to tell me about yours, darling?”
“Might as well,” Dirk sighs, not really wanting to burden Jake with the weight of his alternate selves actions. “I got everything I ever thought I wanted, but then I woke up and saw you here sleeping so peacefully, and I realized our life together, moments like this, is what I’ve needed for so long.”
“That’s cheesy, mate.” Jake laughs at him a bit.
“I used to hate myself for a long time after the game,” Dirks tone gets more serious, his brows straightening up. “I feared becoming what I just woke up from. The Villain. Maybe I’m meant to be the bad guy.”
“We can work through that fear together,” Jake gives Dirks hand a reassuring squeeze, shifting to be closer. “You’re my prince charming, Dirk Strider, you’re no villain.”
“No one deserves you,” He smiles softly, and pauses for a beat, thinking about alternate them’s. “If I knew back then what I can become, would I do it sooner like in the other timeline?”
“Hey.” Jake tries to recatch his attention.
“It would had made everything harder on you, I would break our hearts when I left planet,” Dirks starting to ramble quietly in the dark of their room. His heart rate has increased dramatically, he swallows dryly. “It feels not that long ago I made that unconscious decision to not fuck us all over, could I still ruin it?”
“Dirk.” Jake tries again.
“Jake, I’m scared. I don’t want to go Ult-“ Hes cut off by Jake slamming his hand onto his cheek.
“You,” He’s looking Dirk right in the eyes, his thump grazes over an old scar and a billion freckles. Dirk longingly looks back. “You won’t do that, there’s a reason you didn’t do that here. Gadzooks, Dirk, you needn’t wonder why, dear, let’s just be you and me for a long while. Nothing less, nothing more. Just our little family.”
“I can manage with that.” Dirk leans into his touch, sighing a bit. “I love you, babe.”
“I love you too,” Jake whispers, moving in to connect their lips for a beautiful moment. “Now, let’s try to sleep-“
He’s cut off by the sound of a toddler losing its shit.
“I’ll get him.” Dirk gets up, walking over to the door. Jake follows suit, wrapping his arms around Dirks waist, kissing his neck a few times as they leave the room.
“I’ll get coffee started,” Hes smiles, letting go and heading into the kitchen to do as such. Sleep is no longer a thing they know.
There’s no longer anything to know.
Jakes body lays bloody and broken on the white ground of the antivoid, his hope is gone for good. His own son was deleted from existence when the universe was destroyed, his precious baby boy, the only child he wouldn’t fuck up in some way. Everything he’s come to know as his is gone, his very reason for living is gone. He has been reduced to nothing. Dirk Strider is no longer a concept, his essence and all he has made himself to be has been lost forever.
>Get to work.
He pulls out his katana after laying out an emotionless rhyme to uncaptchulog it. He raises it, pointing it straight at his own stomach. No more dreamselfs, no more family, no more anything.
>Kill yourself.
He drives it through himself, piercing many essential organs irreparably. He gasps, his eyes wide and full of tears. He haunches over Jake, looking down at the others face as he grits his teeth in pain. He leans towards in his last moments, cupping Jakes cheek, shakily bringing his own lips to cold bruised ones. Then he collapses.
>Ascend