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A few things had changed since the end of college. For one; without any grand proposals but simply over breakfast the morning after the grad ball, wearing each other’s pyjamas and inhaling coffee in the frat kitchen, they’d all decided to move in together. It was logical, and it made so much sense that it didn’t even feel like something worth celebrating. They did go out to the diner for shakes anyway, because Patton’s sweet tooth needed constant feeding or it would grow feral and they’d find him in the small hours of the night, sitting in the dark downstairs with piles of sugary snacks.
But as simple as it was to agree to move in- the logistics were not.
One guy, dating two other guys separately, does not make for an easy bedroom situation. Generally, sure, they all just piled in together at this point. But there were times when Patton had a date night with one of his boyfriends and they needed a little privacy. So the hunt for a two-bed was on.
It confused the hell out of several letting agents when they tried to explain, and after the third blank stare Dexter just started introducing himself as their roommate with a sour twist to his lips. It did the trick though, and they were all set to move in.
And then they actually moved in. Remy and Logan had helped out, and Toby had driven the van. One glorious day of chaos and then the trio were ready to start their lives together at last.
Except. Except.
The guest bedroom went unused. For months they would find excuses not to have their date nights, not to need to kick the third out to the spare room for the night, until Patton was starting to get a little desperate. And luckily for him; so was Dex, for an entirely different reason.
“Pats? I need to talk to you. It’s urgent,” he said over the phone at the end of one of his summer shifts volunteering as a paralegal aide. Patton was there within thirty minutes and they settled into the adjoining cafe to talk. “It’s about Remus.”
Patton panicked immediately, surprising no one. He leaned forwards, twisting his hands together in worry. “Is it too much? Are you having second thoughts?! I knew it couldn’t last fore-”
“I’m in love with him.”
Stunned silence followed the confession, and Dex winced. “I mean, you too dear, of course. But him too, like you. Believe me it was a bit of a shock when I realised, but we get on really well, and I- I mean he’s hot! You get it, right? You do, right?”
“Oh sweetheart,” Patton smiled in sympathy, taking his boyfriend’s hands. “I do. Have you talked to him about this? Tried to figure out if he feels the same?”
“Oh god no, of course not. I was gonna maybe… bring it up at the ball. But we all had so much fun and it was just perfect, and he’s always just so chilled about everything except for, y’know, flirting with you, so I figured I’d definitely have noticed if he felt some kinda way about me too. Remember the fish thing?”
“Don’t remind me. I could talk to him, if that helps?” Patton offered. Dex thought about it for a moment before slowly shaking his head. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am. I want to… I mean it’s Remus. You’re right that he won’t say anything if he does feel the same, but he also might not have even thought about it. I only did because Remy made that stupid comment about threesomes-” Patton blushed and cleared his throat. “And then I couldn’t stop thinking about if we were all together- not like that Patton jeez!”
“What?!” Patton grinned sheepishly. “I wasn’t imagining- okay I was. But still, I get your point. I mean I didn’t think it was a thing until you both brought it up, but wasn’t it Remus who had the idea in the first place? Wouldn’t it- oh!”
Dexter narrowed his eyes. “Oh?” He repeated. “What, ‘oh’?”
“I have a fantastic idea. You’re gonna love it…” Patton’s eyes gleamed with the promise of mischief and shenanigans.
The idea was thus; make Remus hellishly jealous and when his macho possessive instincts override his logical thought Patton would shove Dex in front of him and they’d imprint or something. That was the first draft, at least.
In practise it was a lot different and jealousy barely entered into it. Firstly they went off on their own date night, kicking Remus out (not entirely just for the plan; Patton was dying by this late stage and Dex wasn’t much better). Then for phase one Patton started spending more time with Remy and Logan, claiming he missed his friend and wanted to spend time with him before the couple got ready to move across the state for Logan’s new job. He took up a few new dance classes at the same time, and very nobly sacrificed spending time with his loving boyfriends in favour of that and his new coaching job at the local cheerleading club.
They were all miserable within a week, but Patton held out. For Dex, and for Remus, and sort of for himself as well.
Dexter spent more time with Remus then than ever before. He pretended to be equally as disappointed and sad about Patton’s frequent absence (which wasn’t hard because he was disappointed and sad about it) and suggested they go do things themselves instead.
Remus agreed and they started their own date nights, without ever really calling it that.
Luckily for the entire disaster trio, things came to a head only three weeks into the plan. It was a Saturday morning, the night after Patton had come home late from cheer practise again, and Remus and Dex had enjoyed dinner out with a movie together instead. Patton had been nearly ready to weep when he’d got back and snuggled in with them to go to sleep, and Dex had made sure to hold him extra tight, ignoring the slight guilt he felt at the sad wrinkle on Remus’s forehead.
The morning was already bright, even for August, when Patton forced himself up and out of bed for an early dance class. But this time Remus refused to let him go, gearing up for an argument.
Dex awoke to the weak struggle, just as Remus let go and let Patton up with a deep, tired sigh.
“Shit it’s like you don’t want to spend time with us anymore, babe! Maybe I’ll just elope with this guy instead, huh?” Remus muttered, turning to the groggy Dex next to him in bed. He took hold of Dexter’s face and -oh god it was happening- leaned in towards his mouth. Instead of the romantic first kiss Dex had sleepily been preparing for, Remus went for his best fake make out, wiggling his tongue around and making lewd sounds that had a little edge of frustration.
Patton bit his lip to keep from giggling, but when Dex looked back to Remus there was a spark in his eyes that said he’d seen the way Dex had instinctively leaned in towards him, the hopeful expectation on his face when Remus had moved closer, and then suddenly the romantic first kiss was a go.
Maybe Remus had been hoping to entice Patton back with a jealousy plan of his own, but the kiss quickly spiralled into more than that, and he hummed against Dex’s lips, still cradling his face in his hand.
Dexter’s head swam, and he pushed back, propping up on his elbows on the bed until Remus flattened him back down, and in the end all of their plans collectively worked.
Remus wasn’t best pleased to hear about their idea, but Patton was back in bed and Dex wouldn’t stop kissing him, soft in a way he usually only was with Patton, so he allowed himself to be persuaded to forgive them both, and Patton called in to cancel his class. He also demanded breakfast in bed for the next three weekends and premium bathroom rights- but he’d earned it by putting up with their terrible excuse for a plan, really.
The guest room still went unused, eventually turned into a little home office for Dex to work in and Remus to work out in with a few bits of gym equipment. Remy laughed himself silly when Patton called to say he wouldn’t be needing to come round and vent as much anymore, truly amazed that the plan had worked at all.
And the next time they had to have any kind of big discussion they sat down and actually talked about it. That lesson had been learned.