Work Text:
Dexter is peacefully reading his newest case study print out, twirling a highlighter between his fingers as he concentrates. The couch in Remus’s swanky new apartment, he’d found, was the best place to hit that perfect balance of comfort and workability, and he’s been taking full advantage of it since he’d arrived for the weekend the previous morning.
Remus is currently out picking Patton up from his gym session so they can grab their usual uber-healthy groceries and sneak some junk food from whatever fast food place they pass on the way home. He pretends not to know about their sneakiness because he hasn’t the heart to ruin their childish glee. It can be hard being the only mature one sometimes, but the payoff is usually worth it.
He glances at the clock, wondering where they are when the car pulls up to outside. Being on the first floor had its advantages and Dex liked it most for spying on people. Well, Patton called it watching the world go by, but Dex preferred spying. It just sounded cooler.
So maybe he was a little childish too, at heart.
The door opens and he looks up to greet his boyfriend and his… sort of also boyfriend, only to be confronted by what looks to have been a hurriedly discussed idea.
Remus steps in first, making and holding eye contact and holding his hands up. Dex can’t understand why until Remus starts sidestepping and making claws with his hand like a crab, head going side to side. He makes his way through towards the couch where Dex is sat and Patton follows behind him doing the exact same thing, but stifling gusts of giggles.
Dear Lord in heaven give him the strength to put up with these incredible idiots…
They stop directly in front of him, and oh, great, Patton is doing some kind of plie now and Remus is just about managing to copy him despite his significantly lower level of flexibility. Dexter raises an eyebrow at them and puts aside the highlighter and papers, clasping his hands in his lap and sitting forwards to very seriously say, “I love you, but please stop whatever it is that you’re doing.”
Remus immediately opens his mouth and starts chanting, “All hail the mighty crab king” and Patton joins in with him. Despite how it looks Dex is about ninety-nine percent sure Patton was the instigator here. He may look cute as a button but he is often just a bundle of repressed shenaniganery and antics. Remus is a willing and doting follower of most of these plans, and had often taken the fall for some of Patton’s wilder ideas, but since Dex learned the truth he’s mostly forgiven Remus for his part in all of the weirdness he has to put up with.
Patton on the other hand- well. Dexter reaches out suddenly and grabs Patton by the waist, pulling him into his lap to exact sweet revenge through the medium of tickles. “I’ll show you crab king! Feel the wrath of my crabby claws, peasant!” He crows and Patton gasps for mercy between laughter.
Remus jumps into the fray to Patton’s rescue and the peacefulness of the spot is entirely lost. No more focusing for Dexter today, but he never minds. Not once.